5 Annoying Words Filipinos Use Which Have a Completely Different Meaning

Viand- A choice dish; A tasty dish. Usually used to describe foie gras, caviar, or a savory piece of meat.

Pinoy Viand- Anything you can eat with rice. Soy sauce, Fish sauce, Mung beans, Filthy pond fish, etc.

Logistics- Flow of goods between 2 points.

Pinoy Logistics- an english word accompanied by excuses as to why they will fuck up in every possible way

Vernacular-using ordinary speech or language vs formal.

Pinoy Vernacular-A term filipinos use to make themselves sound smarter than they really are; usually combined with formal speech.

GEEVEE/GOODVIBES- Good vibrations, a good time, good flow of good feelings. Pinoy GEEVEE/GOODVIBES- used to describe the moisture flowing from a filipina’s vagina right before or during sex. GEEVEE for prostitutes Goodvibes for Non-prostitutes

Avail- To make use of someone or something.

Pinoy Avail- used to describe a promo which is a rip off combined with limited time and there is no contract. You are stuck with it for the rest of your life and you have to pay for it forever.

Thought i would share. Please feel free to add to the list. I know there are about a hundred more; i just cant think of them all now.

Published in Filipino Stupidity


  1. Profile gravatar of Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III
    Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III

    Here’s some English words and phrases which have no Tagalog equivalency;

    Please excuse me.
    I made a mistake.
    I accept responsibility.
    I will fix the problem.
    We’ll honor that warranty.

    Here are some commonly understood English (EN) phrases, with their Tagalog (TG) translation (when spoken by a Pinoy in English);

    EN: I’m sorry.
    TG: Utterly meaningless space filler between stating bullshit, and stating even more bullshit.

    EN: I’ve forwarded / coordinated / escalated / endorsed your concern for action.
    TG: I’ve done nothing. I’m hoping you’ll believe my bullshit and get off the phone now.

    EN: I’ll repay that money on Wednesday.
    TG: I’m never repaying that money. Why does this white guy keep on bothering me?

  2. Profile gravatar of GottaGetOuttaHere

    Reading road signs through the eyes of Filipinos:

    EN: No U-Turn
    PH: No U-Turn (except for you … you are special and rules do not apply to you)

    EN: No Parking
    PH: No Parking (except for you … you are special and rules do not apply to you)

    EN: No Right Turn on Red
    PH: No Right Turn on Red (except for you … you are special and rules do not apply to you)

    EN: Right Turn Permitted on Red
    PH: So confused …. better stop and wait for the pretty green light…

  3. Profile gravatar of Marius O.
    Marius O.

    “wait lang po”. This one has no direct translation. In essence, it means: “I am now going to have a long, meandering conversation with my colleagues, walk around for a bit, perhaps press some buttons and fill in some pieces of paper, because although the task you have charged me with is utterly simple and routine, nobody knows how to do it and nobody has responsibility for carrying it out. We therefore need to figure it out from scratch each time someone asks us to do it, and you need to sit and twiddle your thumbs for 30 minutes while that happens”.

    1. Profile gravatar of Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III
      Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III

      He asks on this about page; “I am asking for help. I need help creating a list, but not just any list… a list that will help me in #BecomingFilipinno.” I have some helpful suggestions for him, and I’m sure that you all will too…

      1. Book yourself in for a full frontal lobotomy. As delusional as you appear to be, you just don’t come across as quite dumb enough to be a true Filipino (yet).
      2. Master the art of the “blank stare”. This is a skill you’re going to need whenever you bump into foreigners and they ask any sort of intelligent question.
      3. Learn the art of the Palusot. This is special kind of “bullshit excuse” that must not be challenged by your fellow Pinoys. Use it at every opportunity.
      4. Start pissing on the street – but ONLY next to hand painted signs saying “BAWAL UMIHI DITO” (don’t piss here). Do I even need to explain?
      5. Immediately commence ignoring all road rules. The frontal lobotomy will definitely be helpful with inspiring you on your more foolhardy rule breaking.
      6. Find at least five mistresses and impregnate all of them immediately. Best if you have no form of income to support them, or your progeny.
      7. Start pushing to the front of queues. Once you’re no longer a Canadian, queuing will be completely unnecessary. Start early!
      8. No more toilet paper for you! I’d also recommend ceasing the practice of sitting on the toilet. Master the art of squatting – feet on seat.
      9. I have three words for you; Ryzza Mae Dizon. If you’re going to have a favorite Filipino entertainer, make it fat, small and really fucking annoying.
      10. One final word; Karaoke. You’ll need to learn love songs. You’ll need to learn to turn that machine up to full distortion.

      This list is small. There are many other things you can do to become truly Pinoy, and I’m sure the other contributors to philippinefaiblog.com will have some ideas for you. First up, I’d be taking care of that lobotomy. No point having a whole brain when you just won’t be needing it anymore.

      1. Profile gravatar of snakebitbytheflip

        11. Agree with everything everyone else says, even if you disagree with them.
        12. Make empty promises you have no intention on keeping.
        13. Lie like a rug.
        14. Steal anything and everything that is not chained down, and deny taking it even if photos and/or video shows you doing it.
        15. Befriend as many Westerners as you can, make up all kinds of excuses (brother wants to buy a jeepney, grandfather is very sick, etc., ad nauseam….) to get support and/or loans from them.
        16. Never repay those loans.
        17. Get circumcised. Flips look down on anyone who has an intact penis. So, to prevent the derogatory term “supot” from being thrown at you, you will need to visit the local manunule, chew up some guava leaves, then get your offal hacked with a bolo. After it heals (IF it heals), then proudly flash it at your peers and shout “Lalake ko na!!! (I am a man!!!)”
        18. Do absolutely nothing to improve your situation, just accept it as “God’s will” (Bahala na).
        19. Look outwardly religious, tossing around terms such as “God bless” and others to make people think you are a God-fearing person.
        20. Most importantly, be extremely prideful, even though there is nothing in your country to be proud about.

        1. Profile gravatar of
          Steve Declerck

          About number 17. I was stupid enough to step on that “supot” story, after being told everything is so much better if ur circumcised. It was the most stupid decision I’ve made in my whole entire life (beside marrying a Filipina)

  4. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    1.learn the art of throwing garbage all over the place so the small of tambays can clean it up in the morning.
    2.collect the mangiest ugliest dogs known to mankind,, tie them up to a foot long rope, let them bark 24/7 and get real pissed if someone complains,
    3.to take a trip overseas, pack all the crap in the bahay, then at the airport, whine and snivel about overweight fees.
    4.learn the art of getting drunk, and turning up the volume on anything while getting drunk or any other time. make sure the neighbors 5 blocks down can hear you.. you are not pignoy, if they cant hear you.

    1. Profile gravatar of Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III
      Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III

      I know the one. It usually goes like this, just as they enter Edsa…



      My reaction; “Oo, very trakip. Tut, tut, tut, tut, tut, tut, tut… [AS I TILT MY HEAD DOWNWARDS AND BEGIN TO SHAKE IT GENTLY FROM SIDE TO SIDE]

  5. Profile gravatar of James Dinwoody
    James Dinwoody

    From the teacher of a family member here …

    “You are wrong! Mexico is part of the US and Alaska is a separate country!”

    “You are talking in slang … nouns and verbs ARE interchangeable in ‘proper’ English!”

    “If at first you don’t success, keep on trying til you do success”

    “Tea mays!Two tea mays two is four! Four tea mays four is sixteen! TEA MAYS! Why you foreigners all speak slang?”

    And from a University here who was having some paperwork printed up in my shop a long time ago … “It is NOT improper English or incorrect! It is Filipino!” … which really kind of explains it all.

  6. Profile gravatar of

    LOL Too funny. Haha. Filipinos always want to see the bright side even if it does them no good. They’ll always say how resilient and shit they are despite all shit that happens, thus continue to remain in a vicious cycle of shit! Haha. I’m a Filipino whole my fucking life, never been out of this dump. When they actually say “At least we’re happy and content.” and other similar sugarcoatings, it normally means they’re telling you how lazy of an ass they are in the nicest way possible and not wanting to see the god awful truth of the situation in order to find a solution. Oh wait, there’s always a solution. Money. Give them money! They won’t fucking refuse it. At least 99% won’t. LOL But other than that, they’re pretty much fucked up. They’ll just look for justifications which will just go on and on and on, only in different contexts but means the same shit. And when they finally can’t explain shit, they’ll just say it’s god’s plan. Hahahaha.

    1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
      Captain PFB

      @Antihero – Funny how you completely changed your tone, and wrote a post as Rugby Boy defending Filipinos, then went on with endless childish trolling in the comments on your post. What made you decide to go from smart to typically fucking stupid under a different name here?

      Your email and IP address are the same as Rugby Boy.

      You’re not very smart, are you?