Al’s War Stories #1

War story No. 1

I met this Canuck who owned property in Cebu.  Well he owned a house that had a view of the ocena. There is a law there that says you can not build a house between the sea and 300 meters from the sea.

Mayor starts to build house in front of the silly Canuck’s house. Silly Canuck goes to city hall and complains, Of course , nobody is listening.

Mayor and body gaurds go to Canuck’s house and start shooting the place up. BUT there was a kano there and he video tapes all the bullets flying by. The silly canuck was not there.

Kano sends video to Canada Embassy, who forwards it onto President Aqauino, who fones the mayor and tells him not to shoot at houses anymore

Mayor finishes building the house.


Published in Corruption


  1. Profile gravatar of Mike

    Remember when GMA was in office back in Nov 2007 when there was a coup attempt? Well the soldiers holed up in the Manila Peninsula Hotel when the PNP started ordering guests to leave the hotel, including foreigners. Well Philippine army was enmass around the hotel and heavily armed along with a tank and APCs with news cameras rolling. Then the cameras showed the filipino staff running out of the hotel along with Filipino guests. The camera pans up and there are Westerners looking and leaning out the windows at all the excitement. The soldiers and PNP are yelling at the foreigners to get out of the hotel because it’s dangerous.

    My wife and I were watching this live on tv when she asked me what I thought the foreigners would do. I told her the foreigners will tell them to fuck off, they paid for the rooms. Sure enough withing a few minutes the foreigners were giving the PNP and AFP the finger and closed the windows. It was shortly after that when the AFP drove the tank through the front doors and into the lobby. Anyone remember that? Now here is the point and how it relates to Al’s article. Why is it that the only ones who will stand up for themselves and Filipinos in this country are not the Filipinos but the foreigners?

    1. Profile gravatar of Johnny

      This story is awesome.

      “Why is it that the only ones who will stand up for themselves and Filipinos in this country are not the Filipinos but the foreigners?”
      – I say that all the time. I think its cause Filipinos are pussies, lazy, and just admire corruption when someone does it so they just get a little jealous they’re not in the position to steal or do what they want. The fucked up thing is, Filipinos have the most to gain when foreigners complain about how fucked up things are. However, it never starts a movement or grassroots campaign. Ever see a student activist group in the Philippines? Neither have I. Nowadays in the USA, people are protesting over all kinds of bullshit, namdy-pamdy issues. Filipinos just look at their local leaders and say, “yep, I would do the same” and carry on their day .
      Ever notice no matter who you talk to in gov’t or relatives of gov’t people, they always say they aren’t corrupt? Corruption is what “others” do and thats bad. What I do and take is deserved cause I’m entitled to extra perks cause I earned it from my position.

    2. Profile gravatar of FHPS

      @jackson Hey Al, Wheres that beach? it looks so clean 🙂
      pinch me, am i seeing something- CLEAN BEACH?

      not the rubbish, trashy beaches of the Philippines?
      where they throw plastic
      fishermen shit in bags and-and throw it off their boats
      where they throw all the trash off the banka boats into the water – yet, take tourists out to do island sight seeing.
      where they detonate reefs with dynamite
      where they burn rubbish near the edge of oceans
      where they build rubbish tips next to estuaries and waterways
      where they rape the ocean of sands, build out from the land into the ocean, remove sea grass and shell fish
      where they don’t worry about rubbish being dumped on the ground by not providing proper rubbish disposale methods and let it flow into waterways…

      and all the time they will defend their hygiene
      ostracising people who dare complain
      using laws to muzzle truth.
      the culture known as Filipino where its put up or shut up,
      where its “if you don’t like it leave”
      where its “don’t wanna know, my filipino uncle shitted in a plastic bag and pissed on the wall, if you don’t like it leave”

      1. Profile gravatar of Sarah

        I don’t think the photo was taken in Pinas Foreign. Where are the rows of coconuts and fishing boats and Nipa hut squatters perched right on the edge of the water? 🙂 And yes, the mountain of garbage and naked, impoverished kids running around?

      2. Profile gravatar of Angeleyes

        “where they build rubbish tips next to estuaries and waterways”. This hits a note with me. Being raised in the first world we learn many things about the environment and I am constantly left in awe at what I see when I am in the Phils. My wifes Pamily is based around the North Western shores or De Laguna. To get there from the airport we generally drive along the C6 which makes its way around the shores of De Laguna and over the Manngahan floodway. Along the way there are a couple of rubbish landfill sites; these sites are just rubbish dumps that push their way into the lake. I was agahst when I saw it. The problem is that if there are batteries, mercury filled energy light bulbs, and thousands of other toxic chemicals in these landfills (and there is) then the toxins will slowly leach into the ground and into the lake. Why on Gods green earth would anyone build a rubbish dump into a lake but not just any lake, the largest freshwater lake in the country? I have read how this lake is totally stuffed and in about 50 years will be dead; the Pasig river was decleared dead years ago. I almost want to cry when I think that this lake has been there for maybe a million years and provided the area with water and food and in the last 100 years it is totally destroyed. I try to explain this to them but then I see the Uncle changing the oil on the van and throwing it into a creek that leads to the lake and he can not see a problem with it. Am I crazy or am I the only normal person in the place? I dont dare facepalm myself when I see it because I would smash my head to smitherines if I did.

  2. Profile gravatar of 86andBelow

    I remember that Mike, although I generally ignore Fail tv as little things like boooos and bus terminal used in the same sentence, iMBESTiGATORRRRRRRRRRRRR delivered like its a boxing match and watching the self-absorbed elite with their usual sense of entitlement doing……, well, basically anything gets me irritated to the point where I find it difficult to stifle.

    Middle finger, close the window, sounds about right!!

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike

      If I remember correct, one Westerner was wearing a white tshirt and had a beer in his hand. But I do remember them flipping the filipinos off, closing the windows and staying in their rooms (A/C and cable tv). The filipinos kept trying to get them to leave then settled for them staying in their rooms. I often wonder how many of the Westeners have that video and play it for their friends,,, “look at me give the filipinos the finger.”

  3. Profile gravatar of Sarah

    I am sure that when Canuck bought the land, he would have been assured that his views are guaranteed, can’t be built out because land in front of him is government land. Yep, been there, done that with these Pinoy lying realtors.

    A few years ago, the ex-BF and I were looking at a beach front property. Views to the ocean was great. I stood on the verandah and asked the Pinay wife (husband was Kiwi) who owned the small block of land across. She reassured me that it was government land. Told her I would discuss the property with the BF.

    As we left her property, we noticed the neighbor on her side were selling mangoes. We went for a look, got chatting with the owner who then asked if we were interested in the beach property. I said “yes”. I then asked him who owned the block of land in front of the property we were interested in. He said the owner was a Chinese Filipino who has a business in Cebu city. I said “you sure that’s not government land?”. he laughed at me and said “my dear, no government land here since Tatay was born.” We did not buy the beach property.

  4. Profile gravatar of Phil Doh
    Phil Doh

    As a poriner you’ve got to have a screw loose to build a house in the land of fails. Forget the shoddy workmanship, crappy materials, low water pressure, brownouts etc, even if it gets built you’ve then got to deal with petty and jealous locals. There was a story a few years back of a Dutch guy who built a nice resort in Sarangani and paid all the bribes to the mayor, but by the time it was finished and was ready to open the mayor had passed on the reigns to his son, who then wanted paying just as much as his father for the same stupid shit. All the local bigwigs protested the resorted. One celebrity even said it was a waste of time, it was too upscale and no locals would be able to afford to stay there, this coming from a rich dumb fuck who owned a top resort in Davao

  5. Profile gravatar of Sarah

    “As a poriner you’ve got to have a screw loose to build a house in the land of fails.”

    So true Phil! I myself with dual citizenship would never build anything costing more than $5000 in the land of Fails. But in Mum’s town, there are rows of seaside mansions by Kanos of different nationalities. Those houses start at P20,000, 000. There was even one that was for sale for $US 1 million. Yep, not a mis-print. It’s been for sale in the last 6 years and still for sale. Can be rented at P100K a month.

    Now, don’t forget, in the land of Fails, you, the foreigner can not own land. Don’t believe the charlatans like Mindanao Bob who’d tell you there are ways. No there isn’t! If you insists on buying property, thinking your name will be on it, then you only have yourself to blame if and when the relationship goes south. Rent! rent! rent!

    1. Profile gravatar of 86andBelow

      “there are rows of seaside mansions by Kanos of different nationalities.” – So true Sarah. Any decent destination has them. I know of a place where the beachfront property is known as “millionaires row” – houses built by infatuated poringers being led to the slaughter by their respective LBFMs….who then leave them for a local lazyassedshit.

      On one occasion, two mothers were overheard arguing about who would have the biggest house. The reason? They had just put their respective 16 year old daughters on a pump boat to whisk them off to the paradise of Angeles. Mortified, my wife (who is not from there, fortunately) asked to leave the very next day.

    2. Profile gravatar of Johnny

      What I always say is the the Philippines will always let you waste you money.
      You say: As a foreigner, I can’t buy land here.
      Pinoy says: Yes, but there are ways around that
      You say: REally?
      Pinoy says, Of course, very easy. I know many foreigners who buy land and very happy.
      You say: Really?
      Pinoy says: Yesh, not a problem,,,,, I know a guy/ my relative is mayor/ ROD head/ works for main office in Manila/ etc. So no problems at all.
      You say: Really?
      Pinoy says: Yes, you just pay me fixer fee and some extra costs. Then no problems, you own.

      5 years later gov’t finds out and makes you sell cause you are not allowed to own. The Pinoy is nowhere to be found or pretends he is shocked at the outcome. Maybe he even offers a way to “fix it”. That is, if you even make it that far to actually get a title without losing a lot of money first.

      I’m a dual citizen and I can own property without any legal issues. I actually have some in my name. through inheritance. Yet, I still think its a shitty investment. Farmland could be very profitable except for that pesky NPA, farmer rights, Agrarian reform, corrupt ROD assholes, forgers, squatters, corrupt barangay officials, etc. City land could be profitable except for squatters, high taxes, corrupt ROD assholes, forgers, squatters, corrupt barangay officials,, etc.

      Assholes like Mindanao Bob, corrupt mayors, and shady pinoys saying “its ok” for you to own land are lying. Imagine owning a piece of land, building on it, and imagining you’ll pass it on, but one day a group of gov’t pinoys say you are not allowed? You’ll always have to worry about it.

      The Philippines has no idea how to deal in land. They are just completely clueless, corrupt, and the only thing they want is money. Not to mention the false titles, duplicate titles, encroachments, squatter rights, high taxes that come with it. Its just not worth the headache and risk for what is usually a low risk investment in other countries.

  6. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
    Don Quixote

    So the Canuk lost his views anyway as the Mayor still continued to build, not exactly a win win, Kareoke every week end who are you gunna call.
    I had a friend in Morong similar thing happened no bullets fortunately, they built a wall on his beach to block his views then wanted him to pay.
    He fortunately found a rich flip who wanted it for his weekender, they bought the house off him, when the locals tried to shake him down they got a rude shock he was connected in Manila.
    The end was guns were drawn and the locals ran , the rich flip knocked the wall down and NO ONE BITCHED.
    Might has Right in Flip Land

  7. Profile gravatar of Sarah

    “I know of a place where the beachfront property is known as “millionaires row” – houses built by infatuated poringers being led to the slaughter by their respective LBFMs….who then leave them for a local lazyassedshit.”

    Errr, forgive my ignorance 86, but what;s an LBFM? Am thinking LadBoy Female Male or something? 🙂 or LadyBoy For Mauling? 🙂

    If they don’t abandon the Kano sucker who built them these mansions as evidence of “Love”, they just wait for the Kano to die and it’s anything goes. The problem is, many of these women are too dumb to plan for the future. Majority are unemployed,, Kano dies, she might get a meagre pension if she’s lucky or some sort of ongoing income. But the maintenance is a killer!!! Think salty air that just corrodes everything!! If I buy a beach side land, I won’t be building anything with metals in it!! It will be the old traditional Nipa Hut by the sea. 🙂

    1. Profile gravatar of Johnny

      Agreed @sarahfin!!

      There are countless stories of Pinays cheating the guy out of his house, kicking him out, and keeping it all for themselves. Then later on, when kano is picking himself back up, the pinay starts to realize how expensive the house is, the maintenance, and showing off stolen money (which they all love to do) is very costly.
      So initially, they try to ask for way more than its worth, then they lower it consistently until it sells for a low price they are too desperate to resist. Years later, the pinay is out of the home sale money as well.
      I’ve seen it a few times and heard the same story a few hundred times.

  8. Profile gravatar of Mindanao

    Properties with staggering prices are for sale to foreigners in the Clark Development Zone. The Koreans don’t seem to mind paying over a million dollars for something I can build for $20k.

    One of the greatest disappointments to me was how horrific the pollution was all over the Philippines, and contrary to my expectation it is worse in the remote villages. No water or sewage treatment, pig and chicken shit everywhere, garbage thrown into the closest ravine for generations.

    One of the greatest ironies is that amidst all of this shit, the people are wearing sparkling clean clothes and shoes. I’m a farm boy and one of the things people would ask me is why I was not embarrassed – because my shoes weren’t spotless. I learned to hide my shoes from whoever I was staying with so that they wouldn’t wash them.

    The most disgusting thing I ever saw was in Sasmuan where I was looking at fish farms. I met with a French biologist who was doing a research paper on the transition of farms from a wider variety of species to tilapia. All of the people living around the ponds emptied their sewage directly into the ponds. The tilapia could survive in nearly raw sewage whereas other species required a cleaner environment.