An Analysis of “Tampo”

I am Filipina. I am God’s gift. I am proud.

You did not marry me because you love me,

you married me because I am so great.

Therefore, you must give me everything my heart desires,

and you must center your entire world around me.

If you don’t, I will make your life a living hell.

Because it’s all about ME.

I would to like to give the readers of this forum a little of my insight on the cultural trait called “tampo”–one of the primary traits that that these smooth-skinned baboons have (primarily women, but men are known to exhibit it as well). Tampo is somewhat like the “silent treatment” that is common with women who have been “scorned” in some way, but, IMHO, tampo is much more than that. Below I will explain why.

But first, I would like to tell you a story of an experience I had barely hours after I made the biggest mistake of my life (marriage to a flip), then make an analysis of that and how it relates to tampo.

For our honeymoon, the aswang and I decided to fly down to Davao City, spend several days at a resort on the Island of Samal, then several more days at a resort at the foot of Mt. Apo. The old airport at Cagayan De Oro is a typical third-world airport, and after we checked in and went through security (I can’t remember if the metal detectors were working that day, oftentimes they didn’t), we had about an hour before the flight was scheduled to depart. While waiting, I saw an american missionary couple who attended my Big Mistake (the wedding) two days before, and I needed to speak with them to request a notarised statement from them stating that they witnessed the wedding of the two of us. They were not more than 5 meters from where the aswang was sitting, and after speaking to them, I walked over to a little snack bar to get some treats for our flight. That snack bar was no more than 10 meters from where she was sitting.

The plane arrived and we were directed to walk out onto the tarmac to board. Now, I am a pilot (private, not commercial), aircraft owner, and lover of aviation, so getting up close to the “big iron” is something that really excites me (mainly because I wanted to be an airline pilot ever since I was a teenager). While walking out to our plane, another arrives and taxis close, and I walk a very short distance away from her, for a very brief moment, to snap pictures of the arriving bird.

We board the plane, with me taking the window seat (as always!) and the aswang next to me in the aisle seat. Immediately, I sensed something different about her. Now, we are finally “Mr. & Mrs.” (in retrospect, much to my dismay), so I would have thought that she would be excited, but she started feeling cold and a bit distant, with her head turned toward the centre aisle instead of toward me. At the time, I figured she was a bit nervous over this big change in her life, so I didn’t think too much of it.

We take off and fly to Davao, landing (surprisingly) on-time. As we are about to disembark, I stick my head up in the Flight Deck to say hello to the pilots and to snap a couple of pictures (how a flip can garner the intelligence, skills, and judgment to fly a plane is beyond me, but that can be another topic for discussion). As we walk toward the terminal, a Planes Always Late (PAL) 747 taxis up practically alongside us. Now I get really excited, for though I have flown in 747s in the past on my overseas trips, this was the first time I ever got up close to one of them outside of a terminal or jetway! So I take a brief moment to snap a couple of pix, then hurry on back to her.

While waiting for our ride (I knew someone who lived in Davao and he and his wife offered to pick us up from the airport and take us to the little ferry terminal that will take us to Samal), I could really sense that she was cold and distant. Full blown tampo. Oh, brother. Of course, this was not my first experience with tampo (she has done that to me ever since we first got into a serious relationship—oh, what a fool I was to have ignored those big “red flags”!), but—as in the past tampo fits from her—I felt I did something wrong to cause it (remember the cultural trait of “blame-shifting” that those vermin are masters of).

Our ride comes, they give us a quick tour of Davao, we have lunch, all the while the aswang only made small-talk with me. We then are taken to the ferry terminal, take a quick ferry across to the resort on Samal (while riding across the strait, I took a picture of her and her face had “tampo” written all over it), then we checked in to the resort.

While lying down together on the bed (with her acting so cold we did not need air conditioning), I commented, “This is not a good way to start our honeymoon.”

She said nothing for about a minute, then turned to me and said,

“You left me alone at the airport.”


Still being naïve of the blame-shifting that characterises those baboons, I profusely apologised but could not understand where I left her “alone.” I then thought back to when we were at the waiting area and how I first went to speak with those two missionaries, then went to the snack bar, and assumed that, because she was not accustomed to traveling, just being that short distance away from her made her nervous.

But perhaps that was not the reason….

In the years since that incident, and as the “blinders” were removed from my eyes and I started seeing them for what they really are—subhuman vermin who only see Westerners as ATMs and Sugar Daddies—I reconsidered that and the many other incidents of “tampo” I experienced from her.

Thinking back to that honeymoon tampo fit, I first thought that she got nervous because she was in a public area by herself and she is a simple girl who is afraid that someone will harm her without her “man” alongside to protect her. A plausible reason, right?

But, years later, I got to thinking, she has traveled many other times before—by jeepney, by bus, by ferry, and by aircraft—all by herself. Of all of those forms of transportation, traveling by air is undoubtedly the safest because of the strict security measures they take (statistically, even in the Banana Republic of the Philthappines, you have a much better chance getting hit by lightning than you have being blown up by a terrorist). Certainly, being in the departure area of an airport terminal, with guards everywhere and where everyone has been checked for weapons, is easily the safest public area one can be in.

So why would she get into such a tither over being “left alone at the airport”?

I eventually came to realise that the answer is that, for those brief moments where I had gone to talk with other people, get snacks, and take pictures, I had taken my focus off of HER.

And now that I am much wiser as to the ways of those baboons—especially the baboons of the female gender—it is evidently clear that she was demanding that I center my entire world around HER. At all times.

And those times when I did not center my world around HER, she gave me tampo.

So please consider this as a warning to any Westerner who is interested in getting involved with one of those smooth-skinned baboons: That “girl of your dreams” will demand that you center your world (and your wallet) around her! Once she takes “ownership” of you—either after your first sexual relationship, or after the moment when you start to “go steady”, in her (feeble) mind you belong to her, and she will expect you to treat her that way.

Tampo is nothing more than a weapon used by flips to attempt to manipulate and control others, and when they go into full-blown tampo, they will blame-shift to make you feel that you are the “bad guy”.

Please do not fall into that trap. Get out if you can, or better yet, do not get involved with them in the first place.

You have been forewarned.

Published in Filipina Women


  1. Profile gravatar of Mike

    Better chance of getting hit by lighting than by getting blown up by a terrorist. I don’t worry about either of those when I fly a filipino airline. I worry if parts will fall off because they short cut or did not do repairs or maintenance. Remember the Cebu Pacific plane that left Manila for southern Mindanao w couple of year back? It left with all the props but landed with one less. When asked all they would say was “We don’t know where it fell off at.”

    1. Profile gravatar of snakebitbytheflips
      snakebitbytheflips Post author

      Didn’t hear about the prop incident, but back in the late 90’s a Cebu Pathetic airliner flew into the side of a mountain in Northern Mindanao when the crew got lost. Guess they should have stopped for directions along the way.

      Just found this little tidbit on YouTube: Methinks that the “locals” had a field day stealing everything inside the plane, if not the parts of the plane itself.

      then there was another Cebu Pathetic crash in 2013:

      In consideration of the earlier post about the terrible hospitals, incompetent quack “doctors” and substandard medications, if the crashes didn’t kill the passengers the hospitals probably did.

    2. Profile gravatar of FHPS

      I’ve often thought the question
      “why are Filipinos so ungrateful”?
      They are continuously asking for things to parasitic levels.
      “where’s my gift” is a common question, even when walking on the street or going to family gatherings.

      Asking where’s my gift is ENGRAINED AND RAMPANT
      in Filipino culture. It’s so normal it’s like someone watching abuse movies of people being killed and becoming
      They think its funny. There’s nothing wrong with it.
      they downplay it as FILIPINO CULTURE.
      FROM THE MOUTH OF THE ROTTEN TEETH they all seem to have.
      They have become desensitised in their culture to rudeness
      like asking for things. A parasitic culture built on
      making demands, requests, getting some advantage out of someone
      all under the disguise of passiveness, kindness, generosity etc
      its all CRAP.
      they take advantage of generous people in Filipino culture
      to the point these parasites are like leeches
      and will drive someone crazy with their problems, demands, expectations etc
      that you will get them out of the shit… just for this month
      and next month the same crap is repeated
      and the month after that
      and the month after that…

      Wheres my gift
      wheres my (insert eg. bottle of brandy et.c)
      Theres not evening an opening, “hey .. how are you … hows your health et.c” – NIL, NOTHING, NARDA, ZIP.
      The words “wheres my gift” seem so natural and this plays

      Now – phase 2 of this is the self promotion.
      You see, the leveraging from the gift giving is then to promote self.
      You will see often they ask online
      “bring me – (insert here) DSLR camera etc.) – these are REAL EXAMPLES
      and foreigners do this shit, they are suppliers of this want mentality.

      Posting these gifts on facebook etc

      Thankyou Lord for the blessings

      Yes, Theres never a thankyou towards the foreigner who supplied the gifts
      its all directed at the Lord,
      …I WANT MORE BLESSINGS … PLEASE LORD Ill pray harder

      Can you see the fucked up mentality of this.
      The church feeds this shit.
      Even me, im not religious but i have heard the church mantras of –
      “share your blessings”
      “the joy is in giving”
      “give with your heart”
      its a fucked up roundabout known as filipino culture.

          1. Profile gravatar of loco_loco

            Close your eyes ( the most do it when I answer like this to their gift question)
            What you see ?
            (Sir , I see nothing, Po)
            Exactly, thats the answer….Nothing….:D

      1. Profile gravatar of Harley

        FHPH , I also have often thought and been dismayed and perplexed for years over how they can be so ungrateful, unthankful, and demand more. Yes, its the most sickening despicable and most selfish greedy attitudes they have, just animals. The only answer I’ve come up with, besides the selfishness of it, is that they want to present a tough hardened macho exterior publicly because anyone seen as ‘weak’ gets trampled over. This might include people who are polite who say thank you or are appreciative. They see those people as exploitable . Or if one party says thank you then it means one of the parties is under possible obligation to the other. So they would rather not acknowledge, especially to a foreigner. Among themselves they ‘salamat’ regularly. But since they feel every Amerikano (all white people are Amerikano) are all millionaires then its all peanuts to us and no gratitude is required. Either way, regardless of the reasons, they are all still ungrateful fucks, shitty people.

        And by the way I like your Phase 1 Phase 2 …. it is so very true. First they sucker people into the ‘gimme gift’ , then after that they go into what I call the vain glory stage of posting ALL of it on facebook to show off…. which they then eagerly await all the ‘likes’ and comments by everyone they’ve known throughout their life commenting in jealousy and envy as they all then try to out do each other in the race for the biggest ‘gift’ trophies. Raging jealous people that they are, I’ve even known of them getting jealous of seeing a long lost classmate from elementary school grown up as an adult and now in a western country wearing a winter coat…..raging jealousy that this person she knows can wear a winter coat and she has not YET been given this. Silently being upset by this all day and the next day. If you don’t think that her friends or even strangers in her culture don’t have a huge influence on her and what she will want or what she will expect ……THINK AGAIN!

      2. Profile gravatar of Harley

        The original post here is about Tampo and about ‘you left me at the airport’. I totally concur here with the pilot that it is nothing more than CONTROL…. that they want your entire world, your entire attention on them AT ALL TIMES… which is physically impossible to do even if one tried to. At the top is extreme selfishness and controllingness. Total control over you. If she can get your total attention and wrap your entire world around her, then she knows she can get your wallet also. They are masters of this. Tampo then is one of the powerful manipulative tools they use, its straight out bullshit and just total manipulation and its totally selfish and childish. But it accomplishes its purpose IF you care or have become attached to the woman BECAUSE it directs your thoughts and attention more to her to try and figure out why she is silent. So you’re left scratching your head trying to think of what started it and why and efforts at trying to talk and ask her. It all directs more attention to her, which she inwardly relishes (even though outwardly she is supposedly so hurt and offended……bullshit) or the other one, she’s so sensitive. While yes there may have been an injury…. but they exaggerate and use this to the max. exploit and abuse this to get more selfish attention.

        Then comes the blame shifting ….. One time I was in an uncrowded supermarket but as usual the check out cashiers are going so slow you’d think the earth stood still… so I immediately and impulsively switched lanes and left my beloved girlfriend ‘alone’ for two seconds before she could catch up with me. Later she blamed me vehemently that the staff who were stocking a shelf nearby were saying strange and bad things to her in their language and looking at her as if she was a ‘bad woman’ and telling her to ‘go catch up with your man hurry’… and ‘hang on to him!’….. Then she blames me for what they say. ….after all it was my fault for ‘leaving her all alone’ for like two seconds!!! Ok I now repent in sackcloth and ashes and wip myself and nail myself to a cross as they do in upper luzon annually of this horrible sin I’ve committed …. yeah ok bullshit ….. but you get the point, they blame shift and punish you for things that are not under your control. Unrealistic …. stupid expectations ….. like that all Amerikano are multi millionaires and are somehow obligated to give some of these millions to them …. unrealistic stupid expectations based on an erroneous belief system (worldview) as themselves as the poorest most unlucky (unfortunate) yet entitled while everyone else is richer and obligated…. ok reality check … they need to go fuck themselves until they wake up to the real world

      3. Profile gravatar of Lester P.
        Lester P.

        Hey, this is great stuff. I don’t feel so guilty about my gf’s situation anymore. Well, she came around at the wrong time and set off my triggers. I blocked her yesterday on facebook and skype. she was angry with me on whatsapp and gave me the angry emoticons, asking “why did you hang up”? Here is my response…. ” I don’t need any trouble. I am already in enough. I don’t need people putting me down or humiliating me. Take out your anger on someone else. Thanks”. “sorry for your feelings, I need to keep my sanity”. Read my posting from a while back then add this. She says on skype, ” Why do you treat me like this, I shared myself with you (meaning lovemaking/ sex). I feel my IQ has dropped by a substantial amount from this relationship and the immersion into the culture, and I don’t need this. By the way, she is afraid I would kill her and her friends. I assured her that I don’t take open insults well and it is best that her and her friends and her Arab boss, and their kind in Dubai don’t want me around. So now I have learned some lessons and I think we need to get the word out a bit better so these parasites don’t have their hustle money, or scam marriages. One redeeming point is a Pinoy guy I work with. He seems to have empathy, is in school for IT, and is my friend. I think he is scared of me though. When I approach him at work he jumps (wearing headphones), and seems to act a bit too nice. Oh well.

        1. Profile gravatar of BLX2

          Guilt is one strong tool of the Cluster B’s. It’s a lot more than scammers. It’s a pathology, they really look at and think the world works this way. They really believe they’re right. They just can never learn wrong for right.

          P.S. Someone being startled can be a sign of abuse… And being someone who may of been abused by his own loving pamily and community what is he to think in a land on his own? Maybe he’s a good guy dealing with NVS.

          1. Profile gravatar of BLX2

            Hmmm, let me guess, I’m not the only one to get a message from the now Deleted User. Fucking Cluster B’s are bad enough, but retarded ones have got to be the worse.

          2. Profile gravatar of Lester P.
            Lester P.

            He seems like a good guy with empathy. Empathy is the big thing that shows me a person is human and not a stupid animal that you cannot trust. If I am wrong then it will cost me some how. It seems that you are paying for stuff when dealing with Filipino’s/ na’s even when you are not buying a service or a product. My main problem is that I don’t want to have to be mean all the time, I would like to be happy and treat others well. This is just an open invitation to some of these people who think it is their right to take advantage of someone, because, “They have had a hard life”. A concept I have heard from an old friend of mine who is an ex-con. No guilt.

          3. Profile gravatar of Random Numbers
            Random Numbers

            @biggestloserx2 Nope, I got one also “Hello Dear.My Name is Miss TINA,I have a warm and friendly feelings as i saw your profile today,so i decided to leave a massage for you.”

            I wish she could have left me a massage! My avatar is a soulless killing machine from the future, and it gave her friendly feelings? Yes, let’s meet, just as soon as I get a laser rifle in the 40 megawatt range…

          4. Profile gravatar of Brass Doff
            Brass Doff

            This person – s/he or it calling itself TINA is online as Tina Nezr with a single identical photo in each case … spreading itself liberally over the internet and joining a number of unrelated sites with the same message!

            Could be a pinoy/pinay, if the photo is genuine, although in one login states from the USA … but the rest of the profile info is garbage. Sorry Random … not much hope of a massage there … lol

          5. Profile gravatar of Sarah

            Random, I think you got a Nigerian there trawling the internet. “Dear” is their favorite approach nickname. Wanna play scambaiter? 🙂 It’s fun if you have the time. 🙂

          6. Profile gravatar of Mindanao

            I am in a relationship now with Tina. She isn’t like the others. Her father’s Caribou died and I have sent seven thousand dollars to buy another one. lol. She did write me too.

            The lack of gratitude with gift-giving is part of an over-all strategy. They guilt-trip and shame you into giving, so when you give it merely removes an obligation instead of being something that they should show gratitude for. In healthy societies, gifting is a reciprocal act, other than parent-child relationships where feeding, clothing, educating, and protecting the kids is your obligation. That isn’t gifting. But to say “thank you” and show appreciation is to acknowledge that you are in a position of owing the gift-giver. A cluster B will never acknowledge being indebted to someone.

            A Filipino starts with the bad character of framing a foreigner as a person who was unfairly given money from the sky. So sharing is their obligation. There is a huge amount of irony and hypocrisy of pretending to the Kano that it is no big deal and then turning around to their social group and bragging about it. It’s abuse.

            It is a little embarrassing that I did put up with a lot of drama from the last mistress but my wife kept telling me to forgive her and remember how she wasn’t perfect when she was that age. But taking her on a little adventure like ziplining or something she would act put upon, like going on the adventure was a favor to me. Being non-cooperative in putting on the harness, making a scene, but then when returning to the apartment calling her relatives to say what a big adventure the day was. She’s gotten what she deserves though. She’s been through a series of boyfriends who are initially struck by how beautiful she is. They shower her with money and I’ve seen some impressive jewelry, travel, clothes, etc. on her facebook… then it goes dark. Until… ta da! A new boyfriend.

            I tried to train her to say please and thank you. What I got was a mocking, sneering “fuck you”. The words she was speaking were “thank you” but the message was fuck you. So great – every man leaves you because you can’t even say thank you properly. Geez, my first mistress was just the sweetest thing. She found a decent man pretty quickly after I came back to the states and we ended correspondence in respect of her man’s wishes. That’s what nice girls get. A husband.

          7. Profile gravatar of Random Numbers
            Random Numbers

            @sarahfin I don’t need to scambait, I had enough people trying to scam me when I sold a high-spec computer on Craigslist. Most were from Nigeria, but one was from South Africa. How do I know where they were from? Well, they gave me the shipping info, and I doubt that they were scamming me for someone else’s benefit! Some of them got pretty good at making fake Paypal emails. Problem is, I check my balance, I don’t care what the email says. One of them, I said “Wala pera, wala laptop”, got the “What does that mean?” explained “No money, no laptop”. Then the scammer went on and on about the “new” Paypal policies and I had better borrow some money to ship my computer or they were going to call the FBI and report me! To which, I quite naturally replied, “Please do!”. So, I don’t have a need for more amusement, it’s all the same in the end, transparent lies, bluster, and bullshit. Sometimes threats from people like Wee-Wee who would wet themselves if they ever actually ran into me. But apparently others got the same email, they can scambait for you if you want 😉

  2. Profile gravatar of Sarah

    “You left me alone at the airport.”

    The first sign she gave you the cold shoulder, you should have left her Snake! Should have told her “grow out of it or you can make your way to our honeymoon destination or go back home”.

    After witnessing tampos from Mum’s Flip family, I made it known I don’t do tampo. If you do, you will be on the “outer” of me and my family’s generosity (think pasalubongs and all expense paid vacations). But asswipe uncle kept pushing the button. Now he is on the outer and the fall out continues.

    Shame the old articles were lost after the server went down early this year. But it’s good to see people posting Flip lessons again. Thanks Snake for another good educational post about these Flips.

    1. Profile gravatar of snakebitbytheflips
      snakebitbytheflips Post author

      Yes, hindsight is 20/20–I should have told her to off back in 2009 when she threw her first tampo fit on me. I didn’t, and I paid dearly for neglecting that big “red flag” 🙁 🙁 🙁

      1. Profile gravatar of Sarah

        Ah, but you lived to tell the tale. Hope people will learn from this. Of course you’d get the odd “not all Pinays are like that!” No, but 99.99 are!! And it’s just not the women either. It’s men as well, young old, mid-age and even ladyboys!! The whole fucking country is afflicted by it!!

        Foreign mentioned a few times that the Pinays have the adult bodies but have the mental age of 12. Once again, Foreign was generous. Me, I’d put the mental age at 8, and there it stays.

        1. Profile gravatar of loco_loco

          Yep Sarah, we have to make a few differences here too ( in general as we are talking)
          Lets call them the upper class ( or what ever )
          I am talking here about the men….with most of them you can have good conversations and they dont come up with this 8 years old child brain behavior.
          But the females… there your totally right ( sad that your correct about that) 95% also the upper class, have a kid brain mentality. Now we can say as men ( all women are a bit nuts) that might be correct from a mans view , but the women in this country are definitive insane and in their mind stuck at 8 or 12 years. The biggest problem as man ..if you have to handle both ..a kids brain and their insane disorders ., they are also without plan..nothing even the simple things they cant do right…remember just something with my Ex. I did ask her in a normal voice ” Why you did cook today not ?” Answer:” there was no food anymore in the house and you gave me no money to buy it ” Me: And, ?? Cant you say just ..that you need money to go to the supermarket ??!!!

  3. Profile gravatar of Mindanao

    Domestic violence in the Philippines is tolerated, so the men can slap the women around without fear of consequences. When the weaker sex is confronted with greater physical force, their natural response is covert manipulation, i.e. guerilla war. The silent treatment. A man doesn’t slap his woman for being quiet. Since you can’t beat tampo out of them, the man’s response culturally is referred to as “lambing”. Lambing means kissing their ass. Together, these demonstrate the emotional immaturity in Filipinos. Physical intimidation is childish bullying, the silent treatment is childish, and lambing is childish. If you ask your wife what is wrong and she says “nothing” while her tone of voice and actions indicate the opposite, then she is a 12 year old and not an adult. If you are kissing the ass of a 12 year old then you are even less mature.

    Every culture has positive and negative aspects, and one of the stupider things I hear on international fora is to blindly accept cultural traits like tampo and lambing. Great! Incest for the Eskimos, cannibalism for the New Guineas, and stoning a woman for being raped if you hold the Quran dear. We should accept all these too! I knew my wife’s culture in some ways better than she did before I met her. I explained to her before we even considered marriage that I was not putting up with tampo, and she would not be lambed. I wouldn’t put up with manipulation, period. She readily agreed it was a stupid cultural affect, and she had no fear of me physically. We’re going on 9 years now married and it’s been wonderful.

    1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
      Captain PFB

      “Domestic violence in the Philippines is tolerated, so the men can slap the women around without fear of consequences.”

      This is true for just about anything…petty crime, etc. Try calling the police when you see a disturbance or some minor crime. Then time how long it takes them to respond, if at all…..and by the time they do arrive after you’ve called a 2nd or 3rd time, the offender or perpetrator is LONG LONG GONE.

      Of the 4 or 5 times I’ve called for police assistance during a crime or disturbance in progress, AT LEAST 50% of the time they have told me “it’s a barangay issue, contact barangay hall. Or “We don’t handle that type of crime”. THEN WHY DO YOU HAVE A STATION IN THIS BARANGAY?????? YOU’RE THE FUCKING NATIONAL POLICE!!! YOU ARE THE ONLY PUBLIC LAW ENFORCEMENT!!!! WHAT THE FUCK????? A CRIME IS BEING COMMITTED!!! DO YOUR FUCKING JOB!!!!

      Sorry to disturb your peace and laziness at the police station. Sorry to ask you to lift your asses up off your chairs and ACTUALLY SERVE THE PEOPLE WHO PAY YOUR SALARIES VIA THEIR TAXES!!!

      Most things are tolerated without consequences in Philippines.

      1. Profile gravatar of Random Numbers
        Random Numbers

        They are too busy trying to figure out something to arrest foreigners for that they can then solve for 20k-30k, better pay now or we have to transfer you to another jurisdiction and you go in front of the judge in the morning..

    1. Profile gravatar of Rice Ganda
      Rice Ganda

      What’s with his Elmer Fudd voice? I’ve just watched a few of his videos where he is just randomly roaming back and forth at night time talking shit. Another one where he proudly shows off a closet-size apartment where he is sleeping on a wafer-thin mattress on the floor. I always find it odd that a young guy would choose to transport himself to such an obvious shithole – Probably a runaway, or another young misguided cockwomble hoping to be ‘pamous’ like Travis Kraft,

      1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
        Captain PFB

        Travis Kraft is just a salesman for the tourism dept. My god how he can glorify this country and it’s people so far beyond reality is mindblowing. No wonder Filipinos love him so much. They have even made him a famous actor here in their country, appearing on their mindless TV shows, and giving him parts in movies.

        Travis Kraft is the Filipino’s wet dream.

        1. Profile gravatar of kalbo

          Don’t worry captain. Eventually the flipflops will bite him on the ass and send him packing. In a fit of pique, he’ll delete his YouTube channel and leg it to Malaysia, sans possessions.

  4. Profile gravatar of Barry Smyth
    Barry Smyth

    Yep so true I have been living with it for 35 yrs but with me that shit does not wash get over it or get out .
    I see this crap every day of the week fools bowing to the moron he has hooked up with but I can promise you guys not me you do not like it there is the door go ….

  5. Profile gravatar of Mike

    It was a clear crisp night that Valentines night in the Midwest when the Pontiac Grand Am pulled up and parked in front of the quaint restaurant. The driver gets out, walks around an opens the door for the lady in the passenger seat. She gets out and they enter and are shown to their table. The soft glow of the lights only serve to confirm it is the day of love. The restaurant is empty except for the couple seated at the next table enjoying their meal but enjoying each others company even more. One can never miss the look of love in the eyes of those who are truly and deeply in love.

    They are seated and handed the menu by the waiter, they place their order when the man excuses himself from the table. minutes pass and he has not returned, the food is served and he still has not returned to the table. The lady sees the waiter approaching her table and informs her she has a phone call. Who could be calling me her she wonders? My husband just went to the restroom and no one knows we’re here. She gets up and the waiter escorts her to a phone out of sight of the table, but there is no one on the other end. A prank call maybe? She hangs up and starts walking back to her table wondering where her husband is when her eyes catch a sight unseen when she left the table. There, at the table stands her husband and on the table 2 long stemmed candles in glass holders, a vase full of flowers.

    She sits down, he slides her chair in and as he sits down the lady is already reading the card with the romantic love lines, her cheeks blush as she sees the setting her husband set up while she was lured away from the table by the waiter. They enjoy their meal when the man at the next table leans over and tells the husband of the lady that what he did was very good, how much he liked it and will remember to do it sometime. Then meal finished, the husband and lady get up and walk back out to the red Pontiac, he opens her door for her, she gently sits down, he closes the door and gets in the drivers seat, they pull out of the parking lot, the lady holding her card, flowers and candles, onto the highway they turn heading home in the darkness when it happens.

    “WHAT DID YOU DO BACK THERE?” “YOU EMBARRASSED ME.” “THAT WAS SO MEAN OF YOU.” and so her yelling continues non stop for the 20 miles drive back to their house. Yes the husband was me and the “lady” was my ex wife from Bulacan. Moral of the this true story you might be asking yourself? Well if your pinay throws a tampo,,,,,,,,,”ENJOY THE QUIETNESS!!!!”

    1. Profile gravatar of Random Numbers
      Random Numbers

      On my first trip to the PI I stayed so long that I briefly went to Thailand rather than extend my visa. While I was there I bought a star sapphire for the young woman who later became my (now ex) wife. Her sister sold cheap jewelry, so she told my ex it wasn’t very good, and my ex said so to me.

      Later in the trip, on Valentine’s Day, I bought her some flowers from a street vendor. I had forgotten it was Valentine’s Day, so I just bought them on the fly. She told me it wasn’t romantic.

      How did I stop her from criticizing my gifts? It was simple, effective, and great for my wallet. I stopped giving her spontaneous gifts! I don’t need to pay to be criticized, people criticize me all the time for free. I don’t think that is the lesson people who receive gifts from me want me to learn, but then, since they don’t understand the expression “Never look a gift horse in the mouth” I don’t respect their opinions on this matter.

      Filipinos wouldn’t just look the gift horse in the mouth, they would come up with an itemized list of why it was such a bad gift and criticize you for giving it to them for weeks…

      1. Profile gravatar of Harley

        Its the ultimate insult how they criticize gifts given to them as not good enough or too cheap (because it wasn’t millions) ect. Right on, don’t give them anything. I learned that early on and I don’t give them anything because I know they don’t appreciate it anyhow (if its not millions). Example, I know a guy who ‘gives’ support to his girlfriend about $100 a month and she complains that he is so cheap (kuripot). Then I know another guy who gives $1,000 a month to his girlfriend and she also complains ‘why you are so cheap!’ Come on you tightwads cough up more ….stop hiding your multi millions and show the real cash. This is their attitude towards just about everything. So I thought way early on I’m just not going to give anything and then see what happens ………

        Just a side comment on the ‘hey joe!’ that they all say…. one day a some kids were saying that and one of the girls said ‘hey Joe, what’s your name?’ ….. ok now how stupid is that. They don’t even realize that Joe is an actual name…. yet they continually say the the ‘hey joe’

        1. Profile gravatar of Attila

          Look the Filipino culture is a parasitic culture. They need a host to feed on. They will use shaming technique to get their pray. Calling a kano a kuripot is just that.

    2. Profile gravatar of Hey Joe
      Hey Joe

      🙂 nice one Mike!
      In my 21yrs of marriage I’ve got the “YOU GO SLEEP ON THE COUCH” once. Cuz i told her, you know.. I’ve always loved camping out, and went out in the motorhome, switched on all the lights and TV and kicked back. She has never pulled that one again.. 🙂
      Still do love camping.

      1. Profile gravatar of 86andBelow

        Same here Hey-Joe. Used to love camping in the yUK, particularly the W coast of Scotland. Its camping in miniature compared to the US (Pacific Crest and Appalachian, plus Tasmania are still on my to do list)

        I like a drink and tend to forget about time. Something i have and always will do. On occasion I will come home at 7am. If i am met with any derision, I will immediately turn around and go straight back out rather than have hostility aimed at me for forgetting to come home cos i am chatting with someone interesting and enjoying myself.

        After a few months, I asked my now wife, why she had stopped berating me when I came back in the early hours. She replied “well, I could see that me getting upset wasn’t going to change you, so i had to make a decision. Either i accept you as you are, cos you will not change, or find someone else. You work out what my decision was for yourself…..” We are still supremely happy 12 years on. I tend to stay out less these days…

      2. Profile gravatar of Mike

        She never told me that in the summer as she knew sleeping outside was no big deal for me. So she thought she would be smart and try kicking me out in dec, jan, feb when it was -20,-30, -40 wind chill once or twice. Hey no worry, I would go ahead and leave and camp out for a couple of days. She always thought I went to stay at someone’s house as too cold to stay outside that long. Then she figured out I was raised in that weather and then someone told her that I had cold weather survival training in the army.

        1. Profile gravatar of Lester P.
          Lester P.

          Man, isn’t it wonderful to be underestimated by people? I think that this Hollywood version of romance and reality is totally unrealistic for most human kind. If you are lucky you will find someone you can hang with on a deeper level, but, like the Phills. say… “God knows”. ahhhhhhhh.

  6. Profile gravatar of Steve Declerck
    Steve Declerck

    Nice to read your story and learn from others experiences. Same happened to me, cold as ice when I went back to the philippines the second time to get married (first time failed because of embassy rejection. I better listened to that man there, he still warned me about marrying a flip). Anyway, same happened, distant and cold. If I look back at that time, I better packed my stuff and took the next plane home. That was sign enough already how she felt about it. 11 years later, I find it very hard to trust her. Even she’s sweet, or so nice, it’s just like premonition. Like my sixth sense. Like an alarm bell ringing in my head. Whatever she says or does, I don’t trust her at all, difficult to say what is real and what is fake and I’m sure there is a lot of fake. Even she says she loves me or misses me, I know it’s just bullshit. They are good comedians. And yes, yelling and screamin and making dramas for no reason. One time we left a store, she started to yell and scream at me in a crowded parking lot. Seems she got irritated by something I did inside the store. Oh well, maybe u could just tell me what it was and I could do someth about it the next time. But no, she choose to start yelling and screaming in the parking lot. Everybody was looking at us, but it seems she didn’t care. I just drove of and let her walk home. What those flips need is a husband who would keep them in check. And they are experts in the “cold shoulder technique, or ignoring you”. Of all the mistakes I’ve made in my life, marrying her was the biggest of all. I regret it like you do….

    1. Profile gravatar of Angeleyes

      Tampo is difficult to deal with. Since taking my wife back the rules have changed big time. I am not a metro fag type pushover guy and when it gets rough I remind her that if she was not pregnant she would not be here. For me I find the best way to deal with it is to ignore it. It is kind of like if you give a dog too much attention it becomes needy and wanting all the time and gets really annoying. I never feed into her Tampo. It is like when someone comes over with some shit sob story and although you cant be bothered you sit and listen to their shit story. At the end you feel really drained and they feel better, like you have some kind of good energy that they have used to recharge themselves leaving you drained; I dont give her any energy at all, good or bad, nothing and it seems to work really well. But here is something else too about Tampo, my wife has a 6 year old daughter living with us and guess what, she does Tampo as well, like WTF. I couldnt believe it when I saw it and am thinking of drafting an article on it. Has anyone ever known children (6 years old) to do this? Maybe FHPS or @sarahfin might know some stories. IS this shit truly engrained in their DNA?
      The other thing to is like you say they are so fake. I never feel I can trust my wife either. She never ever takes my side, always takes a Pinoys. Example: I put her daughter into a Private school in OZ. We went to the school, enrolled her, interviews etc and got accepted. Fees $1617 a year. Anyway a week later, before I had paid them, she meets a Pinoy in the supermarket who tells her that is a good school and fees are $10,000 a year and comes home to tell me. Now, even though we have been to the school, and I have the payment slip out on the table, and it fucking says $1617, oh, no no her friend said $10,000 there must be a mistake. WTF? ” You were there and I have the paper in my hand, read it”. Same happened with the cost of having a kid here, her friend said it will be $12,000 (How cold she know that is my first question) even though we have already been to the hospital and booked it all in at $3500, and again I have it on paper from the hospital but no thats wrong her friend said $12,000. It is like I dont know anything at all yet it is her who is mind blowingly stupid. Something else to is I am strict on no gambling and this is non negotiable. I wouldnt let her go to Bingo with her Aunty one time (Because it was $400 AUD a Game, yes $400) and she is all cool with that and promises she wont go and it is not a problem then when we had a fight she comes out with “you dont even let me play bingo”. All lies when she said it was no problem and SHE KNOWS I do not allow gambling. I always think ahead and have some great schemes for the future, I have always dreamed of being a solo dad I can see it happening in the not to far away future.

      1. Profile gravatar of Sarah

        “my wife has a 6 year old daughter living with us and guess what, she does Tampo as well, like WTF. I couldnt believe it when I saw it and am thinking of drafting an article on it. Has anyone ever known children (6 years old) to do this? Maybe FHPS or @sarahfin might know some stories. IS this shit truly engrained in their DNA?”

        Yes, yes, yes!!! As soon as the Flip child learned to talk, they also learn to sulk! (tampo). I’ve seen less than 6 year olds do that. Ever seen tampo and tantrum displayed together? Well I have! And even on an adult. First, display a tampo to get your way. Don’t work? Try tantrums, slamming doors, pots, pans, plates. I’ve seen someone do this passive-aggressive shit, serving a hot drink on the husband, slamming down a hot cup of coffee, it spilled half of it’s contents.

        My personal experience of a tampo was when I was very young. I was playing with a cousin when Grandma called over and said “Sarah and Cindy, take this fish to your Aunt Sally” (about 5 mins kiddie walk – so not far). Gave the fish to Aunt Sally and she said “I don’t want it. Take it back to your Grandma”. OK, so off we went and said to Grandma “Aunt Sally did not want the fish. She said to give it back to you”. “no, tell Sally that the fish is for her. Tell her to take it”. So off we went, and again Aunt Sally refused, so again we took the fish back to Grandma who again refused to take the fish back.

        We must have gone backwards and forwards 4 or 5 times before I begged to Grandma to please take the fish and deal with it coz Aunt Sally just did not want the fish. Thankfully, Grandma took the fish back as honestly, I thought that we were made to take the damn fish back to Aunt Sally, I’d feed them to the dogs! By the time I got older, I realized that I’ve had my experience of Pinay tampo at such a young age. Grandma would have been late 40s to early 50s. But I’ve had Aunts older than 50 and they throw a tampo too!! They don’t grow out of it!! Or if you rule with an iron fist, then maybe, just maybe she’ll grow out of it. But be prepared for the name calling….”Yawa! demonyo! baboy!” and other derogatory terms 🙂 Welcome to Pinay land, where everything is not as it seems. 🙂

        1. Profile gravatar of Random Numbers
          Random Numbers

          They will call you names whether you rule with an iron fist or give them everything they want, so might as well rule with an iron fist, your wallet and sanity will both be better off…

    2. Profile gravatar of Lester P.
      Lester P.

      Hey, that is some cool shit! I absolutely hate men who whimper and get weak kneed when a woman tries to beat them down. You know this conversation about the child like mentality means something here. If you want to marry one, and you are not perfect in their eyes, then I guess you have to treat them like your child. What a burden to have. My gf. just yesterday was complaining that I am too white, and that I have no butt, etc. And on top of the other stuff in the list. It looks like these people live in a miserable third world country that does what it can to survive, including lying to themselves to cope with their reality and make some fantasy world where they can live without going insane. The only thing that makes me angry is all the false advertisement from vacation adds, to the dating sites that talk about the people and culture as friendly, and the islands as a tropical paradise. What a load of shit. .. .. Why would they want to move to another location if they are in paradise?

  7. Profile gravatar of Steve Declerck
    Steve Declerck

    “That “girl of your dreams” will demand that you center your world (and your wallet) around her!”

    So true. It’s all about her. The only thing she thinks is ME, ME, ME. She will be so nice and sweet to you until she gets what she wanted (or better: demanded). After that, she will just ignore you and bye bye sweetness, until the next “need”. I stopped giving. Then she complained: “You never give anything to me anymore”. Huh, do I owe you something?? And since I stopped giving, I received lots and lots of “ignoring me and cold shoulders”. She still expects gifts, even she knows my bankaccount is empty. They don’t even have a tiny bit of understanding if your wallet is empty, they don’t even care, they will still expect you to spend money on her, even money you don’t have.

    1. Profile gravatar of loco_loco

      In my life a had a few women from different countries…( means I was together for them not for one night)
      They are all a bit Nuts, egoistic and confused ..yep thats correct… But I still believe and know that there are also the good ones outside.
      The Filipina is a strange woman who will damage your sanity if she dont get what she want ( and thats all )
      This country is a place with some of the most beautiful women..thats fine to see …but its also a place with the most useless women.
      Lets see what life will bring to us, when my day has come to leave…i will make a summary before…if under the tons of shitty women , was maybe not one who was not like the rest 😀

  8. Profile gravatar of Angeleyes

    Hey Snake we have something in common.
    I got married a bit over a year ago and before we married it was all love and romance during my short visits there, never experienced a Tampo. I went all out for our wedding and gave her the big white wedding she dreamed of, we didnt marry in a church but everything else was 100%, didnt skim on a thing. My brother and Mum (at considerable cost since it was just before Christmas) came to the wedding. I had my brother as best man and while he is 6 years older than me he looks 6 years younger. On top of that he is extemley (80 million USD plus) wealthy but due to being happily married many of his conversations did not make it past the “Are you married” question most ask in the first sentence or two, something he laughed at. Not one to take chances he moved around in his hired bullet proof car with an armed gaurd and when word got out every Pinay at the wedding wanted a selfie with him, which they got (thank God he was there only for 42 hours). Anyway you know how the bride throws the flowers over her shoulder to the unmarried ones behind them? The one who caught it got the massive privilage (and bragging rights) of kissing him as me and my new wife took our second kiss. So the day after the wedding I sent out photos to all of her cousins and family of photos that had been taken at the wedding as there were some really nice shots of alot of the people there and I sent one to the girl who had kissed my brother as I knew she would cherish that photo for life.
    2 Days later we go on our honeymoon and the wife is acting all cold on me. I guessed it was because I was horribly hungover as I drank the night away with her cousions, hey Im off for a week so lets use that as an excuse to get drunk (and I drank them all under the table that night). I did not take much notice of her Tampo and spent the four hours driving sleeping off my throbbing head. When we finally got to our destination we were greeted by this really nice American couple and were staying in there house they had just spent over 3 million USD building. They were really nice and invited us up for some snacks before taking us out and showing us the best places to eat in town. Well my wife of two days was lying in bed and would not even look at me and I could not understand why. Then it came out, she was all pissy at me because I sent that photo to that girl who kissed my brother. WTF, no seriously WTF? You have a problem? How do you think my brothers wife feels? She doesnt give a shit.
    Ok I am not one to tolerate this kind of behaviour. I told her to stop being a child because she now has two options; either get the fuck over it and come upstairs or else she is on the next ride home and I will spend the rest of my time in this beautiful house then leave and we can pretend we never met. This was a major problem to me as I was dreaming of opening a call centre and how the hell could I do it if she acts like this, how could I even employ a female. She got over it pretty quick and we had a great honeymoon but I will never forgive her for ruining that first night.
    When she came to the West 6 months later she pulled Tampo on me 6 times in 12 weeks. Bad move. In the end I packed her suitcase, threw her a roll of cash and threw her out the door. Thats it I am done, I refuse to live like this and will not spend my life with someone who destroys every second weekend, GO. And she went. Sadly a week later she found out she is pregnant (yes the kid is mine) so I had to take her back. I often remind her that if she was not pregnant she would be back home, not with me living the sweet life. When she left I crushed my wedding ring and refuse to repair it until I am convinced she loves me. I have not told her I love her and she often tells me only to recieve the blank stare. She trys so hard now to get me to say those three magical words but she still has a long way to go. I do love her of course but it is great having the ball in my court and have held out telling her those words because it is just too good having this over her. I do not fear telling her what I think especially about her bludging Pamily. She is coming around and is actually quite a nice person but it took some hard tactics. Never ever go soft on a Pinay, they think they are married to Rock stars so you have the upper hand. It is hard but like training a gaurd dog it takes patience and perseverance. So long as your not a drunk unemployed bogan you have the upper hand. Let her go nuts but she will soon figure out where her bread is buttered. Never kiss ass, if she wants to go then buy her a ticket. Never call their bluff. Just remind her there are 10 million other Pinays who would marry you tomorrow.
    Anyway thats my rant, Im really tired.

    1. Profile gravatar of Sarah

      Hey Ange, you got your brother’s number there? 🙂

      $80 million huh? Did you get flooded during your wedding day?,,,, From Pinays salivating over the prospect of that $80 million. 🙂

      1. Profile gravatar of Angeleyes

        No she MUST keep it a secret. If I ever hear anyone tell me my brother is a peso Billionaire then I will never return to that country as the kidnapping risk will be too high. I have always thought if I do get kidnapped it will be set up by someone in her family. There is a hill with no houses in the area and on average 2 bodies a week are found up there, her family has found quite a few themselves on their walks. Most kidnappings in the area end up with the ransom being paid and yet the victim still gets killed.

    2. Profile gravatar of tambok

      You and me have really similar experience and how we deal with things. I am married to one of the sexiest women in the world but I don’t tolerate any bullshit and it works. Good relationship, if you want to fuck up go, never let get the upper hand and it works. Never kiss ass is so true. It works 100%

  9. Profile gravatar of Catabisis

    Thanks for the story, Angleeyes. It is pretty intense. I found myself in a situation a bit similar. Fortunately, I was not married. I kept in close contact with a woman for 1 1/2 years before arriving. Within a week of arriving her shit started. Jealousy was beyond description. Tampo was as you described. With a month it was over. We tried to make it work a few more times. Her tampo and jealousy just got worse. It was a close one.

    1. Profile gravatar of Angeleyes

      Thats what I forgot to add; her jealousy. Her friend that kissed my brother, she was a fat girl but because I e mail her a photo (and heaps of other people) to her it means I must want to make sexy time with her friend. I told her if I wanted to bang her mate why the hell did I just marry her and with all the money I just spent would it not be cheaper for me to go to a go go bar, pick up half a dozen really hot girls and then go spend a month banging them all? I sure would of been a lot cheaper. The jealousy thing is crazy. Like I said I has serious plans to open a call centre but they are gone now, there is no way I could with a wife like this.

      1. Profile gravatar of Random Numbers
        Random Numbers

        They honestly believe that if you are not jealous, you don’t care. The more jealous you get, obviously the more you care! I drove my ex crazy, I don’t get jealous. Then after we divorced, this pinoy wanted to be her next husband (her family said they would kill him first). Nice guy in my opinion, honest, hard-working (in the USA too), but she just wanted him as a friend. When she started dating another guy, he got jealous. I said “Hey, you finally have someone jealous about you! How do you like it?” and she said “It’s so irritating!” HAHAHAHAHA

        1. Profile gravatar of BLX2

          It really does piss them off if they can’t make you jealous. X1 even tried it in the USA after she got her green card. Told me she slept with someone. “So how was it?”, I asked in a calm voice. Confused blank stare. No answer. “Well, if it was good, there’s your answer, go with him. Because it sure sucks between us, if you liked it you should go, you belong with him.” She seemed to be a bit shocked. Some of the words may of been sharp, but my tone was calm. It was obvious I meant it and wasn’t jealous. She later claimed she just told me that to make me jealous. It just doesn’t work. I have definitely been screwed for too soft a heart, but where they think they can make me jealous, just makes me think they need to go.

          As a matter of fact, it was one of two prime reasons another one just left.. Al, you may have to bring me smokes, I’m told I’m going to regret this.

          1. Profile gravatar of BLX2

            Said that last line wrong. It was her insane jealousy and the bullshit behavior that led to it. During the last few hours she was messaging some guy (at least that’s what she said) and letting me know how so many wanted her. Jealous, shit know, sympathy for the poor bastard, but better him then me.

          2. Profile gravatar of BLX2

            Geeze, I just spelled “no” as “know”. I never do that. Hate that they turn my brains into scrambled eggs.

      2. Profile gravatar of Lester P.
        Lester P.

        Unfortunately, I think the term used by the military, “Little Brown Fuck Machine”, is not so much of an insult but a fact. When you get rid of that aspect of the Pinay’s appeal, they are pretty empty. I am so confused at how they can fake all aspects of life and caring/// even empathy, but when they get bored or frustrated they turn into animals. Real disappointing.

  10. Profile gravatar of kalbo

    I have a tale about my current “gf” there.

    She asked me to buy her dresses as, quote, “I dont have any to wear”. Anyway I ordered some online for her. However the parcels were sent to a neighbours house as I was out when the delivery man called. The neighbour wasnt at home so I had to abandon the dresses and head to the airport without the parcels.

    Anyway, on arrival, madam was packing a few dresses for our trip. She had at least 10 new dresses! Ones I had never seen before. AND none were the ones that I bought in the past.

    On returning back to pommieland, I collected the parcels containing the dresses I had ordered and sent them all back for a full REFUND!

  11. Profile gravatar of Phil Doh
    Phil Doh

    From what I’ve seen most pinoy relationships are built on the two Is – insecurity and immaturity. A friend of the wife’s once came for dinner and spent the whole evening on the phone to her husband who was in Japan working, reassuring him that she was with us, who exactly was present, how long she’d be there etc. Whilst most westerners would find that shit annoying as hell filipinos just love the attention and the reassurances it gives them.

    1. Profile gravatar of BLX2

      ” insecurity and immaturity”, You’re dealing with Cluster B. And I bet at the same time all arguments are met with lies and distorted perceptions. You argue about what “they feel” and it has no real basis in reality. it is impossible to get them to stop and process these “feelings” logically against the context of the situation. I hate to sound like a broken record, but you ARE dealing with Cluster B. It is not as much as the Filipino culture as a culture of people filled with Cluster B’s. The proof is that they are not “All like that”, and indeed I do know of one girl that does not act like that. One, just one girl in a decade have I met that does not act like that in a relationship. It’s a sad story, and a few years ago I am guilty of letting a good one get away 🙁

      1. Profile gravatar of Mindanao

        God Damn BLX2, you got that right: Cluster B.

        You also have a lot of dark triads. But much of the behavioral disorders span every disturbed personality class, so the exact diagnosis isn’t so important as the list of behaviors that are rampant in Filipino society. Denial, evasion, diversion, lying, deceiving, playing the victim, inappropriate anger, false flattery, selective memory/attention, ridicule – it all adds up to bad character.

        I am sorry to hear about you letting the good one get away. I had a lot of years in the Philippines and decades in the third world before I met my wife and it was within moments that I knew. She did have bad traits I still had to train out of her, and I did send her away in the beginning because she lied to me about something. She told her family it was over, and indeed it did nearly end our relationship. Her heart was so dominated by kindness that she was able to admit flaws in herself and change for the better. If I had made the typical Kano mistakes of lavishing money and accepting bad behavior I would have turned her into the kind of monster we see written about all over this site.

        1. Profile gravatar of BLX2

          I believe Dark Triads are Cluster B’s. Only Machiavellianism is not specifically listed as CB in the DSM, the other two are. But read about Machiavellianism and CB’s and then ask yourself what is the difference,

          It’s a pathology. The brain is actually wired wrong and in such a way it can not be undone. Bad wiring also occurs with mental illnesses like PTSD and NVS, but there is one crucial difference, it can be undone. With things like PTSD and NVS the sufferers know something is wrong, they want to get rid of it, but don’t know what, why, how.

          What: Bad synaptic wiring
          Why: Trauma and abuse
          How: Psychotherapy and EMDR

          Shell shocked, the old name, we understand it with our soldiers. And before I knew about this stuff that was the thought that came to mind at times dealing with the wars at home. Oblivious, I have walked into the street in front of on coming traffic, luckily to be pulled back or snap out of it just in time. It wasn’t a suicide attempt, not at all. Shell shock, brain overloaded with chaos trying to process logically what was not logical, the delusional, from someone you love, from someone who believes they love you. WTF is going on, why can they not see the truth, they’re destroying everything, even themselves, even their children and blaming you. They can not see even the obvious truth, even when pointed out it just does not compute.

          Cluster B IS the answer. A brain wiring pathology that keeps the truth from ever reaching the logical brain to be processed, filtered out by the emotional brain. As we all perceive the world through our senses the information is passed through the same parts of the brain as are responsible for our emotions, pertinent information is forward to the logical brain for processing. With CB’s the information never gets there or is extremely distorted so the logical part of their brain is fed the delusional reality the emotional brain holds true. Try to give an obvious fact, even one that can be readily proven, and it is met with angry emotional defense that has no basis in reality, even has no relevance to what’s being discussed, blatantly false, yet it is held on to for dear life by them even to their own destruction. This is so hard wired that therapy to rewire is useless, the emotional brain will protect the ego at all cost. They’re all right, the world is wrong. They’re special. How dare you question the genius of their emotional brain, you will pay for that. The only way to beat them is to become a better abuser then them. Having a logical brain it is possible. But to what end in a love relationship? You love them so much you’re going to become the dominant abuser? Most of us couldn’t even think like that, even a fleeting thought turns our stomachs, disgusted with ourselves for the split second errand “idea”.

          You need to let them go.

          1. Profile gravatar of Mindanao

            Yes, let them go.

            Some refer to it as arrested emotional development because children respond at the emotional level, but adults and life experience are supposed to train them out of it. The correct response to Tampo for example is NOT lambing, (the Filipino reaction). Kiss the ass of the immature child? No way. The right response is to give them choices: act like an adult, or I leave.

            Yes, all the reading I have done urges people to understand that taking on a cluster B is like choosing an autistic child. When it is your child or close relative there isn’t a lot of choice. But you do have a choice with a companion. So just don’t enter into a relationship with a cluster B.

            Instead of fixing them it is instead a set of coping mechanisms that the victim (parent, brother, etc.) has to adopt in order to minimize the damage they do. We are in complete agreement here. Why. Why choose a companion like that.

            It is a spectrum of course, not an all-or-nothing thing. So a person can have cluster B tendencies without being a full-on personality disorder. This is true for Filipinas who are kind at heart but who are also raised in a culture where Filipino Pride is a national motto and Tampo is an affect they are trained into. My last mistress was full-on personality disorder and the childhood trauma was being sent away from her family to work as a housekeeper as a child. She had separation anxiety on the one hand. just desperate for you to be right next to her every moment – but on the other hand a drama queen of epic proportions. She was just the spiffiest little 21 year old though and, as with these personality disorders absolutely insatiable in the sack. Damn she was beautiful. But I don’t miss her a bit. I am VERY grateful for my wife and the fact is the mistress proved how wonderful she is.

            Self-sacrificing. Kind. A great mom, and by far our highest priority is educating the kids. They’re both off the charts, it is incredible what they’re doing but both of us have worked real hard to get them where they are today.

          2. Profile gravatar of Sarah

            “The correct response to Tampo for example is NOT lambing, (the Filipino reaction). ”

            Nope, doesn’t always work. When I was a member of the Phil. dance group here, the dance coordinator was a real bitch. She threw a tampo one day, her husband came home with a bunch of flowers (see the lambing here?)…. she took it and promptly smashed them onto the balcony rails. Still think that lambing works??

          3. Profile gravatar of Lester P.
            Lester P.

            I have a question for you. Let’s say that you end the relationship, but you still want to help this person to accept reality and get better. What do you do? I have a friend with PTDS, and he has really come through for me when I needed to go to a burn unit, and his military career is awesome, but he walks around at work sometimes like he is in a daze. My boss said something to me about this and I told him, “George”, is not lazy he has some problems and he to talk to someone. We used to hang out once a week and I think it did him some good (He told me so, as a friend). Now he seems to be getting worse and will not share anything and just walks around slowly barely doing anything. We don’t hang out anymore. On the same note, how can I do something about this gf of mine, who seems to be in the same false reality? I am not going to marry her, but I would like to help her see the reality of the world. I am not in any position to help financially, so what is the technique to help these people?

          4. Profile gravatar of Brass Doff
            Brass Doff

            @Lester P … you are wasting your time attempting to ‘rescue’ one of these genetic morons, imbeciles! Here is an old comment that explains the futility of the task (sorry, I don’t have the reference to the original writer, but it was a regular on this blog)

            “As a recent article by Gladman expressed, there is NOTHING you can do about the mind-boggling stupidity, ignorance, rudeness, and shameless corruption and scams here. NOTHING. These people are unteachable, you can select any method of punishment you want, speak in their own language, tell them anything, and they will not learn.
            These people have been repeating the same mistakes over and over and over for nearly a century. What makes you think you can stop it now? This is a hopeless society that is 100% incapable of change or improvement. Their Pinoy Pride has them all believing they are the best in the world at everything. And you will never convince them otherwise.
            You simply have to learn how to control your upset and anger, relocate if necessary, and simply take responsibility for yourself, and use this knowledge to learn how to work your way around the brainless idiot’s behaviors.
            There is simply NOTHING long term you can do about it. Any fix you achieve will be extremely temporary, and within a very short time, the same bullshit will recur.”

          5. Profile gravatar of Sarah

            “I have a question for you. Let’s say that you end the relationship, but you still want to help this person to accept reality and get better. What do you do?”

            I agree with Brassdorf, you can not rescue cluster B morons. You will end up burning yourself and getting hurt. Best to save your energy for a more promising, normal relationships.

            As for the PTSD friend… sounds like he is suffering from depression. If he is outside the US/UK/Europe/Oz, he’s SOL. Is he in Dubai/mid-east? I doubt Psych services exists in these countries. Same in the RP. You have mental health issues, go home or die where you are. It’s tough but it’s a choice he has to make.

            The ex and and I knew a Kano in provincial Cebu 2 years ago. I went back last year and the old Kano is showing obvious signs of dementia. He is 72 years old and was living with an ex-prostitute who’s a single mum. I said to the ex “she won’t take care for him. Get him to go home ASAP. There is a treatment that he can take to slow the progress of dementia. It won’t stop it, but might just slow it down enough to enable him to stay home.”. But as far as I know, the dementing Kano is still there.

            PTSD is a difficult illness especially if he is relapsing. Risk of suicide is very high.

          6. Profile gravatar of Mindanao

            One critical factor with Angeleyes: “My short trips there…” Well, exactly. Short trips. Even a full-on psychopath knows to put on an act in the beginning of a relationship. It is actually a red flag feature of disturbed personalities. You are the most wonderful thing on earth, false flattery to the max, sex sex and more sex. Instead of watching how they treat you in this “honeymoon” phase we are told to watch carefully how they treat wait staff, street sweepers, or anyone who is viewed by society as having a lower social position. The same is true for a decent Filipina: do not be blinded by the wealth and how fixated he is on your perfect little rear end. The way he talks down to the wait staff is the way he is going to talk down to you after he is no longer enthralled by your youth and beauty.

            I moved into my prospective girlfriend’s houses. Lived with their families. I work for myself so I wouldn’t say I can “afford” to do it because I gave up a lot of contract income to do it. But I had the flexibility and it meant enough to me. I still didn’t have children and I wanted a mother that had the same vision regarding children. I did not meet any of them online. I met them while traveling. In their villages. There’s no hotels. No restaurants. So you stay with them. I did meet some in cities large enough for a Jolibee sometimes, but it was usually a bit of a motorbike ride to get to a real store or Jolibee.

            If you want kids then you have age restrictions. But even more so by the time a Filipina is in her mid-20’s her personality is so fixed in granite that if she isn’t already a full-grown mature adult that you better not count on training them. With a young one though, it is pretty easy to tell if she has potential. My wife did not expect me to buy her stuff. Wow, despite having so little as a domestic helper for a merchant seaman, she paid for herself at Jolibee and gave me this look, as if it was absurd for me to pay. Contrast that with a little 18 year old I had taken out just before her, who expected me to buy chicken buckets for an entire household.

            One tactic of cluster B’s is the “Double Bind”. They will put you in a position of no matter what you do, you lose. So this little shit asked the other people in the house what they wanted, an insinuated promise we were buying stuff for them. She is looking at this little eight year old who erupts in glee – she was asked if she wanted to drive all the way to the next town where they had Jolibee. That put me in the position of already being pledged to buying something for them (without my consent), and drive three people a pretty long way on my motorbike. So I could object and make the little eight year old cry – or I could buy them all food. If you buy for one, then of course you have to buy for everyone in the house, on the street, all their relatives, and the entire country. I made the eight year old cry and told this girl it was her fault, not mine. She told me to shut up while I was explaining what bad character it was to make promises with someone else’s money. So she lost her Kano within days of meeting him. She did have a fine little caboose. But I never so much as felt it, even on the outside of her pants.

            They have to show they have empathy for you from the beginning. They might make mistakes, but if they listen to reason and agree with you – and apologize for ever putting you in a bad position – this is a good sign.

  12. Profile gravatar of Random Numbers
    Random Numbers

    In the west we are constantly bombarded with messages about how relationships are a “partnership” and you should treat each other as equals. Now, I am not saying that people are good at being equals, or that all relationships are based on total equality, but in the PI it seems like one person or the other has to have power and dominion in the relationship. Which means, you are either the master or the servant, and most westerners don’t want that kind of relationship. Maybe I’m wrong, but that’s how I see things there…

    1. Profile gravatar of BLX2

      You are 150% right! They want to dominate you. Worse than a door mat, worse than a dog on a leash. I don’t want to dominate, but I also don’t want to live in their chaotic view of reality. It’s impossible for me to kiss their ass. They want you to worship them, serve them, you owe them something because they have a pussy!?! I won’t play the battle of domination. I’ll talk to you. Try to logically talk about reality. But they do not hear a thing. There is no way to tell them anything and all hell brakes loose no matter how you try to talk nicely to them you are wrong. You are terrible. You’re the liar (although they are the ones full of shit). You’re crazy (for not buying into their illusion).

      Can anyone tell I stepped in shit again. At least I recognized the smell this time and did not mistake what it could possibly be. No more letting them move in unless they have been properly vetted for months and they show their worthy. If they don’t have it, no more effort in trying to help them grow the fuck up. Screw terrorist, some of these girls are just plain scary.

      1. Profile gravatar of Attila

        You can not reason with a Filipina. That is a golden rule for you! There is no such thing as common sense and realizing her best interest. The only way to handle a Filipina is by controlling her. You need to learn or must learn the technique to do it. Just the same way they do it to each other. The Philippines is a shark tank and you must learn how to swim with the sharks or you will be on the menu. Simple as that.

        1. Profile gravatar of BLX2

          I wouldn’t want children to grow up in that kind of environment. I don’t want to live in that environment. If they don’t have enough reason and reflection not to be like that, I’m with the wrong person. And so are they.

        2. Profile gravatar of Steve Declerck
          Steve Declerck

          Attila, I have to agree with you, there is no way to have a reasonale conversation with a Filipina. The first years we were married, I tried countless times. It was just a one way conversation, like talking to a wall. After a while I was thinking, what’s wrong with her, why she’s not capable to have just a simple, logical conversation. After years of trying, I discovered: there is simply no way to have a conversation with a Filipina. The only feedback I ever got was :

          Attitude feedback after every try to have a “logical” conversation :
          – Not talking anymore for at least 1 week
          – Cold shoulder
          – Ignoring everybody
          – Never admitting a single mistake
          – Never taking responsibility
          – Always blaming others for her own mistakes

          Verbal feedback:
          – Ok, let’s have a conversation, but the starting point is: I’m right and you’re wrong…..Ok, let’s talk
          – It’s all your fault
          – I’m good
          – People in the Philippines know I’m good
          – People in the Philippines never had problems with me, because they know I’m a sweet and caring person. It’s only YOU who have problem with me.
          – No…No….No…. !!
          – Yelling and screaming
          – Why are you such an asshole?
          – You’re a demon
          – You’re the devil
          – You have to change completely for this marriage to work
          – My family doesn’t like you !!!! (So what)

          1. Profile gravatar of Steve Declerck
            Steve Declerck

            Still a few religious quotes of her I’ve forgotten to mention :

            – Before leaving for church : I will light a candle for you, maybe there is still hope you will change your life.
            – You think you will be allowed in heaven??? No, YOU will go straight to hell !!
            – For sure you will live long, because all evil lives long

            Hahahaha, she really said all those things, not all at once of course, I better kept a list of all her quotes, I actually enjoy them

            That’s what they call having a reasonable, open conversation with a Filipina based on mutual respect 🙂

          2. Profile gravatar of BLX2

            I don’t get the religious ones. Doesn’t matter what I believe, I’ve read it, they haven’t and that is one area they do actually STFU and don’t try to use as leverage a second time.

          3. Profile gravatar of Attila

            Filipinos expect that you tolerate and go along with their ways. The vast majority of the times don’t expect a Filipina to do the same when it comes to her puti husband. She will not even be curious about “puti or kano culture” and ways. She believes that Filipino culture is superior to ours so she will not be open about it and she will not respect it. It is always the kano who has to accommodate to her. Filipinos also don’t want a kano to adopt their ways. Only tolerate and go along with them but not becoming an expert on Filipino thinking and a manipulator like their are. It makes a Filipina uneasy when they see a Kano who understands and speaks their language and talks to her like a Filipino would. They believe in a double standard when it comes to kanos.

          4. Profile gravatar of snakebitbytheflips
            snakebitbytheflips Post author

            You hit that one right on, Atilla. They do believe that they are superior, therefore, they will not change. My big mistake was trying to influence them to adopt to the ways of civilised human beings. So glad I am out; it was a great burden off my shoulders. Now I am making it a mission to warn anyone who will listen to me to stay away from them. Yes, there is a lot of good “eye candy” there but there is a very high cost to cheap s– 🙁

    2. Profile gravatar of Mindanao

      Well the west is full of hypocritical feminist bullshit. On one level, we are equals: each of us has full sovereignty over negotiating a lifelong agreement at the beginning of the relationship. But I cannot make babies. I am not her equal there. She cannot run my business. She is not my equal there. A relationship is a partnership, yes – but men and women are complements with wonderfully different skill sets that together provide synergy: the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Feminist doctrine is the pretense that women are more equal than men in the Orwellian double-speak sense. They get to have lower standards on firefighting, military service, police tests – anywhere that men have strength superiority, women get to cheat in the name of “equality”. They don’t want to do dangerous jobs that get you killed. They want to demand “equal” pay for being a secretary in a nice air-conditioned office. They want equality in lighter prison sentences for the same crime, equality with hiring preferences for women, equality in hugely lopsided divorce/child custody settlements, equality everywhere so long as it gives them advantage over men.

      So I disagree with the feminist double-standard and hypocrisy on what “equal”means. My wife was handicapped growing up in a culture with immoral standards. She is equally capable of adopting better moral standards, but needs a teacher no different than I need a teacher of Visayan. Feminists back home tried to shame me by saying I was being a “father” to her and pretending she was this little child. They are really keen on painting women as helpless little victims and men having all of this power over them at the same time they are contradicting themselves with these claims of equality in every dimension. Is my wife my “mother” for teaching me Visayan? For taking care of me when I am sick?

      So I don’t think it wise to look at prospective wives as being “unequal” in the larger sense of equal right to vote, equal right to protection under the law – equal human rights. But that doesn’t mean you are exactly the same person. A western man is generally going to have better money-managing skills so you can give her a budget. She’s the one deciding whether to buy fish or pork, what the bed sheets and curtains are going to look like, etc. If I am a “masculinist” I can whine about how she has all this power over deciding what to buy with the money and how horrible it is that every room in the house is hers to decorate, arrange furniture, etc. Does it mean I am this helpless little child without power or agency? How outrageous she is the one deciding whose birthday party the kids go to! What gender crime is this?!

      Breaking free of the chains of feminist propaganda can help you understand that teaching your Filippina better character is not being her master. She is even going to correct you when your own blindness over anger or something causes you to behave badly once she learns. Have you had too much to drink? Are you being petty with someone? Are you charging a customer for something that is not just? She stopped me from responding out of anger to some haughty people yesterday. Is that being my mother? Or is it a partner stepping into the breach when the marriage is under fire? There are Filippinas like this. Not in abundance, lol. But with so many millions to pick from – enough to find some gold at the bottom of your pan.

  13. Profile gravatar of vinzz

    I wish i was able to read that and follow this advice 10 years ago.
    Im stuck now, with one with exactly the same behaviour described there.
    Stuck with 2 kids and the nevrotic mother who’s not able to adjust the country she told me she was enthousiastic to live in.
    When problems began, i think she was unique and has a big problem, but as i can see, she is only like every other filippina i hear about or i met.
    Now i am with a person so ungratefull, who allways accuse the others (me) for everything, even if i catch her for the most incredible things or the worst unfaithfullness she will turn the tables and put the mistakes on me …. WTF
    Jusyt need to wait for few years the kids grow before i retrieve my freedom without hurting them or put them in danger i she got the idea to bring them in her clueless country.

    I only can tell the same thing : Never but never fall in love with a filippina, and run while you can, before it’s too late & you become sick you too.

    1. Profile gravatar of BLX2

      Sorry, but your kids being around her is bad for the kids also. I’m not joking or making fun of them when they display that type of behavior. It is abuse. Start talking to a doctor, start documenting the behavior, talk to a lawyer. Do not feel sympathy for her. Don’t feel guilty about the kids being taken from their mom. I do feel guilty, for not taking the kids away. I wished I knew about Cluster B at the time, just the knowledge would of changed everything.

  14. Profile gravatar of FHPS

    Filipinas are only good for fucking thats it. CHEAP FUCKS.
    If you want a real Asian wife go quality. Try Japanese.

    I had a vietnamese girlfriend and she was good also.
    The development of filipinos and standards are just too low in every respect.

    I have dated or been in relationships with
    south korean
    taiwanese (pot luck some are paranoid)
    malaysian (also fucking bullshit chinese paranoid skitso)

    These boot lickers are so fucking stupid
    and self absorbed leeches.
    the FOMO
    Fear of missing out
    self obsessed
    fuck i could go on about these arse wipes.

    Its cheaper to just treat them
    how they are – service providers
    wiping old peoples arses
    spreading their legs for sex
    answering yes sir, no sir
    and thats it

    as a partner they are fucking horrible.
    have you eaten your breakfast
    i have no money here
    i need load
    i need fare
    — just constantly bitching for money