I unfortunately find myself back in the land of people who have achieved almost mythical status due to their incredible and almost legendary stupidity. I am of course talking about the dysfunctional country called the Philippines. Thankfully, my stay this time around will be mercifully short, but not quite short enough to shield me from experiencing that indigenous Philippine phenomenon known as Filogic. So, sit back, relax, and allow me to regale you with another tale of Filipino fail.
On the island of Luzon there is a two lane road known as the National Highway. Don’t let the “highway” portion of that name fool you. The Philippine version of a highway would be something that barely passes for a side street in any other nation with a halfway decent infrastructure and a halfway functional society. I was in the northbound lane and traveling north. Seems redundant for me to state that, doesn’t it? What other direction would one be traveling in if one was in a northbound lane? Keep that question in your mind as I continue.
The southbound lane seemed to be snarled with traffic as a road crew had put up some cones to direct traffic away from the center of that lane and onto that lane’s shoulder. That shoulder was quite narrow and some vehicles were crawling their way through it. Not really a problem. You see road work even in properly developed nations. But this is the land of the Filipinos and their amazing bit of comprehension called Filogic. So, of course, the Filipinos put their own unique spin on this bit of inconvenient traffic.
Instead of staying in the southbound lane to ride out the traffic jam, the Filipinos at the back of the jam decided to go into the northbound lane. It wasn’t just one or two Filipinos, it was dozens of them. This of course then snarled traffic on the northbound lane and forced the northbound drivers over onto the shoulder.
Remember when I redundantly stated that I was traveling north in the northbound lane? This is the reason why. This is the Philippines, where it is entirely possible for a Filipino to be traveling southbound in a northbound lane. Instead of just one lane being jammed up due to road work, there were two lanes jammed up. One lane jammed up due to obvious road work, the other lane jammed up due to obvious Filipino stupidity.
This is why the Filipinos will never ascend. They just don’t have the ability to solve problems. The best they can do is to take a current problem and make it worse, all the while thinking that they are getting ahead with their ingenuity.
I can only imagine the thought process in those Filipinos’ heads as they were mired in traffic. Although I am speculating, it must have been something like this: “I am stuck again in trahpeek. I will go into the oncoming lane, kasi that is what it is there for. It is not for trahpeek going the other way. It was put there just for me to use to bypass the trahpeek in my lane.
“Okay. I am in the oncoming lane. Magaling ako. Okay, there is a car coming. Why is it in this lane? This is my lane. Magaling ako. He must move aside. He must move for me. My lane. Magaling ang pinoy.
“He is not moving aside. Now I must stop. Hai nako. Ang trahpeek!”
Now imagine more than a dozen Filipinos having that same thought process at about the same time. Yeah, that’s how screwed up both lanes had become.
Don’t get the situation wrong here. This isn’t about briefly going into the oncoming lane to pass a slow vehicle. This about stupid Filipinos at the back of a traffic jam going into the oncoming lane to try and bypass an extensive line of backed up vehicles. Just utterly stupid. This is basically the vehicular version of cutting in line, something else Filipinos do quite a bit.
Just to add insult to idiocy, guess what the road crew was working on. They were repainting the crossing bars for a pedestrian cross walk. Oh, good lord! This is the Philippines, the place filled with idiots who never pay attention to any traffic guides whether they are painted on the road or on a sign post. Why bother repainting any of those guides? Is it just to remind themselves of yet something else that they don’t pay attention to? “Oh, look, it’s a newly painted trahpeek guide that I ignore anyways. Magaling Pilipinas!”
The Spanish should have never uplifted the Filipinos. It was simply too much too fast for them. Some cultures just need more of an incubation period before they are ready to ascend. If the Spanish never sped up the evolution of Philippine society, the Filipinos would still be loin cloth/vine g-string wearing hunters and gatherers. You know what? That would not be a bad thing. It would have given the Filipinos more time to evolve some basic societal traits necessary for a proper modern civilization to grow within their culture. As it is right now, the Filipino mind is simply not evolved enough to cope with advanced concepts like proper traffic flow and following rules. They still have a very primitive “me want, me get now” mentality.
Time to sign off for now. I’m out of here in a week. But if I can wrap up business matters quickly… hahahahah yeah right. Nothing happens quickly in the Philippines. But if by some miracle I can get out quicker then I’d be more than willing to reschedule my flight home, pay the extra money, and get the hell out.
Once again, a big thanks to FiloFail for providing this site as a place for us to vent. As it is right now, I am indifferent to Filipinos. Without this site to vent out my anger, I’d probably end up being openly hostile to them.Published in