Banco De Oro Epic Fail

This came in as a user submitted post, but it did not have a member listed as the author. I have no idea who wrote this, but thought it was a jolly good rant about the complete fucking morons of BDO. We just can’t have enough ranting about those sub-human brainless idiots at BDO. If this post belongs to you, please claim it. ~ FiloFail


BDO is run by brainless stupid filipinosI applied for a secured loan with BDO about 4 months ago, it was actually an extension of an existing secured loan, so they had all the paperwork on file already, payments on time (DIRECT DEBITS), I am a business customer of theirs with a business account.

The only question was if there was enough equity in the property of which there is plenty. Quite a simple transaction, secured loan, with more than 50% equity, paperwork already on file from existing loan, etc, most banks in Europe would fight each other for a bit of business like that, it is the bread and butter of the banking business. They agreed but needed a complete new application and re-submission of all of the original paperwork which is quite literally a mountain of crap.

Their system is from the dark ages but I live in the Philippines so it is par for the course. A few months later, after a few e-mails, any chance when this will be complete, duh, oh, scratching of heads, we need some more documents sir, we forgot our own processes and I unfortunately had my head up my asshole at the time that you applied, not a problem, just tell me what you need and I will jump through hoops like a fucking circus animal until you cunts satiate your appetite for piles and piles of shit.

Piles of shit submitted, somersaults through hoops successfully negotiated, we now have a meeting to sign, the loan has been approved, NOT FUCKING SURPRISING CONSIDERING IT IS A FUCKING SECURED LOAN YOU NUMPTY CUNTS, THERE IS NO BETTER BIT OF BUSINESS UNDER THE FUCKING SUN YOU MINDLESS REPLICANT FUCKING LIZARD CUNTS, of course no surprise when attached to the appointment e-mail is another long list of requirements and papers required (THEY CALL IT POST APPROVAL DOCUMENTS), long e-mail chain ensues to ensure that I have absolutely all of the docs they need, mission accomplished.

I knew that this would not satisfy their appetite and was uneasy on the eve before the meeting, I even said to an expat friend of mine, I am sure they are going to find some way to fuck this up. About 8 pm I get an e-mail saying that I need to get an Affidavit of Citizenship, that gives me plenty of time to get this sorted before the 10 am appointment the next day. I am sure they already had a copy of my passport which I issued to them three months ago, HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE THE FUCKING RETARDED COGS TO TURN IN THEIR SHITTY LITTLE BRAINS.

So, I show up to the meeting with a truckload of paperwork (FOR A FUCKING SECURED LOAN) the lady I was dealing with then said, I should get 30 of my buesiness contracts notarised, I told her, are you fucking kidding me, that will cost me PHP 30,000 so there will be no point getting a fucking loan you retarded, replicant, lizard cunt. So, she changes her mind about that, bearing in mind, they make this shit up as they go along. So, now everything they need has now been submitted, it is just a case of releasing the funds.

A week later when funds have not been releasedBDO makes banking a real pain in the ass another e-mail from the Fucktard Universe appears, it is a miracle these cunts even have access to the interweb. Your middle name is on your passport sir, but only your middle initial is on your wedding certificate. We need a signed affidavit from you stating that your name is in fact your real name and the United Kingdom Passport Authority did not make a mistake, you need two co-affidavits, ID, three copies, signed twice, with copies of ID, shit marked toilet roll matching their DNA ET FUCKING CETERA. BANCO DEL ORO IS SO FUCKED THEY ARE A DANGER IN A SOCIETY THAT ENCOURAGES THE USE OF FIREARMS, GOD HELP US ALL

Published in Banco De Oro, Blatant Stupidiy, Filipino Customer Service, Filipino Stupidity


  1. Profile gravatar of FAFI

    Well, I definitely didn’t write this. Applying for a loan at BDO is the same as borrowing money from Philippines. Never will I rely on Philippines to stabilize my finances, and I don’t know if it’s worst to trust Filipinos in loaning money to them, or borrowing money from them. Both transactions equally has a chance of getting fucked up somewhere down the line. One remedy I use to keep myself sane in this country is to not negotiate myself in any financial contracts with Philippines in any form; Banks, Credit Bureaus, Grants/Loans, and even pawning. Opening up a bank here is just asking for trouble, NO THANKS! Just look at the headache this mysterious poster is having with BDO… lol. No thanks BDO, JP Morgan Chase has my back 🙂

    1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
      Captain PFB Post author

      So true. It scares me shitless just to put my money in the hands of any Filipino, bank or no bank.

      All banks are fucking evil rip-off artists, but in Philippines, add mindless dumbfuck stupidity to that equation and you’re royally screwed!

      I swear to fucking GAWD…Filipinos must have a notary fetish. I’m surprised they don’t send you out to have your fucking deposit slip notarized, the fucking idiotic imbecile morons! (I hope a member of BDO management doesn’t see this comment, because it will surely give him/her an idea! Soon we’ll have to take our deposit slips to a notary!)

  2. Profile gravatar of FAFI

    Ok, this comment I am about to make has nothing to do with this post, I’m just posting here because it’s the most recent article, and I’m trying to get this thought out quickly.

    What the fuck? Is it already January 1st??? The gym I normally go to was closed this morning, everyone is wishing me a fuckin happy New Year (even the beggars, then beg for money), and Cebu Pacific just released their new 20.14 peso promo online. I had to check my calendar about 5 times to be sure that today is December 31st, and not January 1st. Well, I wasn’t mistaken, today is December 31st… I think most Filipinos needs a fuckin calendar, for a second I thought I had slept through an entire day. Well speaking of day, let me tell you all about it.

    As I said, I tried to visit the gym, but it was closed (because maybe they thought it was New Years too). I normally go to the gym with a new buddy I met, who happens to be an American with similar background relating to me. So we decided to chill somewhere just to waste time, he said he knew a nice spot. Well this nice spot he mentioned just happened to be a broken down food shack with Filipino quality food. I wouldn’t dare eat any of their food, so he offered me a beer. He ordered us two Red Horses, which happened to be warm, and I only drink my beers cold (who doesn’t drink beer cold?). So dirty glasses and ice was provided to us…. Oh yeah, just the way I like it! Ice to water down the beer to dilute the potency and taste of the beer (being sarcastic). The shack smelled like dried fish and sweaty ball sack, flies were swarming everywhere, and stray dogs lurked around in the inside of the cavern. It’s not exactly what I would call a decent ‘hangout’ spot, but my buddy was pretty fond of it.

    He was even interested the waitress who wasn’t all that good looking either, I would rate her to be about a 4 out of 10, his taste in women wasn’t that great either. Mainly because she had some decaying teeth, and her physical appearance wasn’t all that attractive either. He was trying to ask for her number when he had countless better possibilities around him, but whatever, I can’t interfere with another man’s taste. Anyway, I was completely disgusted with the joint, but I didn’t want to express it openly, or I would be just as bad as the Koreans who were acting just as snobby to me. My buddy seemed to be very contented about everything in this shitty country, despite it’s many-many-MANY negative aspects. I applaud him to see the light in this country, he is even brave enough to drive here. Today, he gave coins to a few beggars before walking into a 7-eleven, and didn’t hesitate to give them coins again 5 minutes later when the beggars begged for more. He has a high level of tolerance for disrespect, corruption, stupidity, bullshit, and selfishness. He is very resilient due to the fact that this is only his 2nd visit to Philippines. I’m sure he will be on here eventually some day complaining about this shit hole with the rest of us. Today made me realize what value this place has to foreigners, it’s for foreigners with bad taste, and low standards for living. Since my buddy thinks that a shitty looking smelly shack is an ideal hangout spot to eat and drink with an ugly attractive waitress, then Philippines is right for him.

    I don’t mean to put down my buddy, he is a good friend of mine, but I just recently knew him and hung out with him on 3 separate occasions, so it’s somewhat ok. Well I’m gonna open up a cold beer to compensate for the shitty one I had earlier, that will put me back in a good mood. I will wish you all a Happy New years tomorrow, I know today isn’t New Years yet unlike some idiots I met today. You all have a good one! L8er!

  3. Profile gravatar of CantFixStupid

    I’ll be leaving for a few months. Fairly sad to leave my gf, but will be moving out of Metro Manila when I get back. Davao City and Subic Freeport are top choices. Once we move to either one of those places I’m staying put until the kids are school age (gf is having twin babies). Than off to Florida or Texas… only returning here for occasional visits, my retirement will no longer be in the Philippines. Just doesn’t seem like there’s much hope for this place.

    Anyway, Happy New Year’s Eve everyone! Stay safe out there!

    1. Profile gravatar of FAFI

      I hope you enjoy your temporary moments of freedom as you exit hell for a while. I would move out of Metro Manila, but that is where most the entertainment is at, both good and bad entertainment unfortunately. Well right now it’s 1 hour away from midnight prior to New Years, and of course my neighborhood is being rocked all night with fireworks. I’ve noticed that most of their fireworks deals with sounds and noise, and not the flashy fancy ones. This shows that Filipinos are in love with loud obstructive sounds. I’m hearing fireworks, but barely seeing them. Well, it’s the one time of year when they can be as loud as they want and get away with it….. What! Am I kidding? They always get away with it no matter what time of year it is.
      Well. the most thrilling part of this holiday is when I take a visit to the hospital to see how many fuckin idiots had blown their hands off in the emergency room.

      On the bright side, I live on the top floor of my condo, so I have a perfect view of all the fireworks being launched all over the city. I’m still hearing more fireworks than actually seeing them. Well, it’s gonna be a long night, not really expecting to sleep early. Tried to host a party, but been stood up by the 6 people I invited. Anyway, I don’t give a flying fuck, my XBOX and beer is all that I need. Goodnight peeps!

    2. Profile gravatar of NeoGeo

      I’ve been to the Subic freeport, it’s a pretty nice place. It’s not perfect and there is still a lot of the Failipino way of doing things, but it shows better progress than many other places.

      At the very least, they banned the tricycles and severely restricted the jeepneys. I think I’ve only seen two jeepneys in service within the freeport, and they were not the typical rolling trash heaps. These jeepneys actually had good tires, didn’t belch black smoke, and looked like they were properly maintained. No trikes and almost no jeepneys means that the Subic freeport is actually a pleasant place to drive.

      Dare I say, the Subic freeport is one of the few things the Filipinos can actually be proud of. But apparently they think of it as some anomaly best left to be isolated since all the surrounding areas still have that distinctive Philippine style third world quality. I guess the Filipinos just can’t live without noisy trikes, trash heap jeepneys, and no rules traffic.

  4. Profile gravatar of FAFI

    Like always, Filipinos are failures when it comes down to specifying their views. I went to get a haircut and it got fucked up because the barber (like mos the barbers in this foul country) don’t know a thing about cutting hair. Barbershops in America would ask you what length you want your hair, or style, if in doubt, they would at least have pictures of haircut styles on their wall. Well in fuckin Philippines, they have some weird fucked up numbering system that makes no sense at all! I sat down in the barber chair, and he said,”zero?” I am thinking, what the fuck do “zero” mean? I know my fuckin numbers! Then he explained to me that it means no hair on top. Well, he could’ve said ‘bald,’ or ‘no hair?’ I didn’t want to be fuckin bald, I told him to leave some on top, then he waved his hand over my head in a halo rotation and said, “one?” Ok, I am already starting to get pissed off, I was already tired of talking to the fuckin idiot so I said, “yeah-yeah, fuckin one you Filipino idiot.” Well, his ‘ONE’ was a lot shorter than I imagined and I didn’t like it, but I can’t complain because it was a $1 haircut, where in America can you get a haircut for only ONE DOLLAR? But he didn’t give a tip, which I normally give for a job well done. These Filipinos needs to learn how to fuckin SPECIFY!!! One what? One meter? One centimeter? One inch? Fuck dude?! Why are Filipinos so fuckin stupid and lacks the simplest of common fuckin sense???!!! I guess he didn’t know his unit of measurements. I will give you another example of Filipinos failing to specify their ideas: Most of know I am taking law enforcement here in this shitty country. Well on my first day of school my professor was discussing the uniform we had to wear. The one part I didn’t understand is when she said that we needed,’Wet Look shoes.’ I asked her to specify, and she said ‘WET LOOK’ as if I didn’t know what wet look meant. Well, obviously she meant glossy (just to keep in mind that the words ‘wet look’ and ‘glossy’ are both English words, so she could’ve said glossy). Anyway, I didn’t wanna be like every other stupid Filipino, and I like to dress with some class. So I got a fancy pair of glossy shoes, which were ‘wet look’ and wore them to school. That idiot professor scolded me for it because it wasn’t the style she wanted. OK, so NOW that idiot bitch wants to mention a style? It was fuckin ‘wet look’ like she had demanded. So I come to figure out that she wanted some security guard looking shoes, which she failed to mention the first few times I asked her. She could’ve used the following terms to describe what she wanted us to wear; Police Officer’s shoes, Security Guard shoes, or at least showed us a picture. But whatever, she is Filipino, and she lacks the mentality to clearly specify what is being demanded by her. Personally, out of all the words she could’ve used, she says ‘wet look.’ Not shiny or glossy which are common words to describe an item. The funny thing is, she claims to hold a PHD in two courses, and 3 masters degrees. I already clarified enough about her claims in other comments before, we all know the quality of Philippines. Happy New Years to you foreigners, and as for any idiot Filipino reading this, go to hell. I wonder how fucked up 2014 is gonna be for me in this country.

    1. Profile gravatar of CantFixStupid

      They always ask for clip measurement at barber shops. Normally the clip is in centimeters, so when they say “1?” it means 1 centimeter clip… but yeah i totally see and hear what you mean about specifics in this country. It’s like it bothers them to think more than just a generalized saying of anything. Even the Filipinos who speak normal to above average English don’t ever try to think and describe things “outside the box”.

      Actually I told my gf that the most intelligent Filipinos (men/women) seem to be in the process of leaving or have already gone abroad. I’ve never been to a country in Asia where most citizens actually want to leave their country as badly as Filipinos do, can’t blame em for wanting that.

      1. Profile gravatar of FAFI

        Well, as for clip measurements, my hair is still pretty damn close to being bald. I’m gonna start bringing a hairstyle catalog whenever I go to the barber shop for now on. Another example of them being specific is when you ask them a question, most of them can’t even answer a closed-end question correctly, even a ‘yes or no’ question. Have any of you gotten a “IT’S OK’ response before from a Filipino idiot yet? I have many times. I asked a Filipino classmate of mine before: Do you want the red Tanduay Ice, or the Blue Tanduay Ice? He replies: It’s ok! So I’m wondering what the fuck he meant by that?! Even in other scenarios that requires a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer like, “Do you want to eat at Jolibee?” I will get the same fuckin stupid ass response of “It’s ok.” Do these idiots know how to say ‘yes’ or ‘no?’ This is not a one time thing, this had happened on several occasions with different other Filipinos I associate with. Do anybody understand what I mean? AND DON’T DARE REPLY SAYING, “IT’S OK!” Hahahaa

    2. Profile gravatar of Pearl Of My Ass
      Pearl Of My Ass

      I always made sure I had. Business trip abroad when it was time for my quarterly hair grooming so I could avoid the risk of having my hair cut by stupid and combed by a comb full of flees.

  5. Profile gravatar of JackTheBlack

    When I opened account in BDO I was requested to provide landline number, which I don’t have. After long and painful conversations I found out that the landline number is used to verify my identity. Apparently my passport, local driver’s license, local working visa, local work permit, and European driver’s license are not to be trusted. To my amusement ANY landline number was OK, so I gave number to our lobby. Only in the Failippines identification by any random person is more valid that passport.

    Then to favorite subject, love life. We have saying that “it’s not stupid who asks, but the one who gives” and I have to say that I don’t understand guys who support the extended families… and then complain about it. When I started to date my girlfriend I made it perfectly clear that not a single dime will flow from my pocket to her family, what she does with her money (that time she was still working) is her business.

    When I arrived here I was very active with the girls, and probably saw all/most scams there is. But I also learned the game. I never treated the girls in fancy restaurant, Jollibee it was or Mang Inasal. I was “always broke”, not a rich foreigner. Never paid taxi or jeepney fare or gave anything. I never went on date without other plans, i.e. looking for new shorts or picking up other girls from mall, since all don’t show up and almost everyone was late. I even started to enjoy playing the scammer girls.

    My girlfriends family tried to get money from me, via her, few times but I never gave. Pretty soon they understood that I won’t give and requests ended. They also did couple of surprise visits which ended after I told my girlfriend that I’ll kick her out if it happens again. And I will.

    My girlfriend runs our errands but I make the rules. She has to tell me two days in advance how much money she needs for groceries, so I have time to visit ATM. If she doesn’t she has to pay from her own pocket. After buying what we need the change is on the table with receipts.

    I also don’t give her cash but buy clothes if she needs, because money could go to wrong hands. I don’t buy jewelries either, but take her to have nice dinner or have weekend trip. Things that she cannot change to money, pass to her family or be stolen.

    The reason behind is that I put her into position where she doesn’t have to fight with her family because she don’t have money. She doesn’t have anything to give them, so the family leaves us alone. And where would she need money since I pay her school, provide good living in brand new condo with luxuries, we eat well, travel etc.

    The bottom line is that without clear strict rules and penalties that has impact to them these people don’t learn. It has to be something concrete like breaking up, send her back to province, not paying her tuition fee etc. If the girl is unable to be in relationship without scamming she’s not the one to be with in the first place and with “strict” (for us common sense) rules you at least are not going to be the one to pay the consequences like it so often here is.

    Corrupted shithole is compliment for this country but by following your own plans and mind you’ll iron many bumps on the way, and make your day more enjoyable… if ever that is entirely possible when dealing with locals.

  6. Profile gravatar of volksair

    Here is a post a expat did a couple of years ago about how fucked up BDO is, and the banking industry as a whole in this septic tank of a country.

    well,the Philippines needs all the help they can get,the corruption here is so bad,i hate to live here, ie”i went to my BDO bank and used there ATM and took out P10,000,on the 5th of this month,as i started shopping and taking the first bill out of my wallet,i was down to about P7,000,then on the 7th i went to another shop and paid with another P1,000 and was told it was fake,,??so i gave them another,it was fake,then another,it was fake,so out of the P10,000, P3,000 was fake.
    on Saturday i asked around to find out what I can do about it,,well on Sunday, BDO is closed,so i went to the local police and reported it, then on the following Monday reported to BDO bank, after a few words with several people in the bank,i was accused of being a liar, i did not get the money from there ATM, even though i showed them the statement and my passbook, after a few calls,they said i should have returned the fake money within 24 hours,so i am out P3,000 , my loss,,this happened in kidapwan city, so,if anyone uses the ATM, be sure to have your money verified before leaving,or you could lose also, so all you Philippine roaches at BDO can kiss my ass, this country can sink in it’s own Shit, i will take my P1,000,000 per year and live in another country.

    1. Profile gravatar of jimmy smith
      jimmy smith

      Yeah volksair is the same for me, I will go live in another country too. I cant deal with this anymore. No matter what you do as a foreigner here then YOU are going to be the one who is annoyed, frustrated, ignored, looking like the idiot. Not these low IQ monkeys. They are all eager to leave this country and in my country the debate has been going on for years about the brain drain in the 3rd world. Especially the PI, another debate is about 3rd world women coming as ua pairs and taking care of 1st world children. Their own kids they dont tell to brush, dont clean them, dont feed them properly, have them ride motorcycles without helmets and 5 on one motorcycle. They will spend money on booze rather than on medicine and they will beat their own kids with sticks when they feel like it. Just look at the way they treat their pets, fat people but their dogs and cats are so skinny there is barely anything but fur and bones on them. I will be making a post about their cruelty towards animals in the near future and it will be horrific for animal lovers to read. I did figure out the facination with mirrors the other day using my own logic. I was thinking which animals will be facinated with mirrors and could only think of 2. The parrot and the monkey. Which made me realise that this is what the pinoys are made of and it explains why the sir, sir, sir is coming from and the averge parrot has the potential iq of a 6 year old and a monkey averagely the potential of an 11 year old. So its no wonder anymore or mystery why they are facinated with mirrors, why they will sit on a motorcycle that doens belong to them or their family and adjust the mirrors on it so they can sit and look at themselves eat….God bless the PI, cause I dont think anyone else will !

      1. Profile gravatar of CantFixStupid

        Pretty sure God has already given up on the people of Pinas… just sad overall. I’m in the U.S. now and from talking to my gf, she’s now convinced she wants to move to Florida. At first she was worried because she would be far from her family. I told her she’s far right now anyway lol. We live in Metro Manila and her family in Davao, so I told her when we move to the states, just pretend we’re living in Manila (minus all the shitiness of Manila of course). She’s as tired of the nonsense and the retarded attitudes of her country people and also understands my frustrations. Told her that “I can’t do this (living in Pinas), but we sure can visit”. I’ve given up after roughly 2 years of living there (province to city areas). I wish everyone here who lives there permanantly luck and good fortune.

  7. Profile gravatar of FHPS

    There was an issue with the bank spelling the name on the account wrong. The BDO wanted my friend to go to an attorney to get a statutory declaration signed. I mean, imagine going to lawyers in a western country at $300-$400 an hour to get documents witnessed and fucked around with.

    The other thing is another bank asked me how i got income in the Philippines. I said, online. I showed them an account that made 20c a month. YES, 20c! and she said at the bank that was sufficient proof of income 🙂

    Then i needed another visa card from the BDO as my plastic one perished. I mean, fuck me, they have zero interest on the bank accounts, they lend out money and are in the business of banking but asked me to pay 300 pesos for a new card!! to a lot of filipino thats a days way or half a days wage to pay some stupid card fee. How long does it take you to work a card fee in Australia, UK or US or Canada? – the anser is most likely ZERO as the banks arent stingy like filipino banks and will give you a FREE FUCKING CARD.

  8. Profile gravatar of Random Numbers
    Random Numbers

    It depends on the country. Back in the USA they give you a new card at a regular interval, but if you lose yours, you often pay a fee. Same in Taiwan, if you forget your PIN then they have to reissue and there is a fee. Stupid thing filipino banks do is NEVER give a free new card, no matter how many years you have had yours. Mine is 7.5 years old, in the USA it would have been deactivated by now…