Why does Banco De Oro have huge vaults with 2 foot thick walls and doors in their branches? Well, just like most professional services and businesses in Philippines, fancy slogans and appearance is everything. It’s really all they have.
That vault looks so nice and shiny and impressive indeed! Maybe they don’t want to use it so much because it looks so nice, and fits right in with the impressive decor. Banco De Oro APPEARS to be a bank that has it’s shit together. Mission accomplished! No need to go beyond that.
But any foreigner will agree, underneath all those appearances and fancy slogans are Filipinos. And you know what that means; SHITTY CUSTOMER SERVICE, FUCK UPS, AND MAJOR INCONVENIENCE for customers with at least 75% of anything you do through them. I won’t even go into their online banking dysfunction. Maybe I’ll save that for another post. There’s certainly an endless amount of subject matter to keep this blog updating forever. And to find it, you need only to step out your front door.
Imagine if Filipinos were under a magical spell that forced them to have slogans, based on their existing slogan, to honestly match the reality of their business or service. In BDO’s case, you might see something like this photo when you walk in to any one of their branches.
When I was out yesterday, one of the reasons was to get some cash for a major appliance I am buying from a private party. And I just naturally assumed since it’s a bank, they’ll have money. Silly me, I’m always forgetting to keep my expectations extremely low in order to avoid disappointment.
Whenever I need a significant amount of cash, I’ll usually just withdraw my US Dollars in cash, and exchange it at one of those “black market” huts you see all over the place. I usually save 800p to 1200p in doing so. I don’t do it very often, and I forgot their LAME BRAIN procedure. And I didn’t think that ten $100 bills was very much money, and certainly is less than 1cm thick stacked.
“I’m sorry SIRRRR, you will need to wait until after 3pm, we won’t have that much US currency until our daily shipment arrives. Ten $100 bills is “that much US currency” for the biggest bank in Philippines??? What’s wrong with you people? This is a bank…you know, one of those institutions where people deposit and withdraw money?? And guess what came next? ALL TOGETHER NOW…..
I felt like I was in the Monty Python Cheese Shop sketch!!
So I continued with,
“You mean to tell me you don’t have a measley ten $100 bills in that vault to give to your customer who wants to withdraw???”
“I’m sorry Siiirrrrr, you should call a day in advance when you need to withdraw a large amount of US Currency.”
“I’m not withdrawing a suitcase full of Dollars!! When is ten $100 bills a large amount??? What do you keep in that big fancy vault? A TV and sofa?”
“Mostly Pesos Siiirrrrrrr.”
“And there’s no room for even a stack of ten $100 bills????”
“We have Siiiirrrrrr, but we have to reserve for the people withdrawing smaller amounts.”
“WTF?????? So you have 10 bills, but you won’t give them to me, regardless of the fact THEY ARE MINE, AND I’M HERE FIRST!!!!!!! Why not tell the other people who MIGHT OR MIGHT NOT SHOW UP to withdraw “small amounts” to come back after 3pm IF your run out of $100 bills??? Do you have a clue as to HOW UNBELIEVABLY LAME AND SHITTY SERVICE THAT IS TO YOUR CUSTOMERS????” You don’t want to inconvenience CUSTOMERS THAT ARE NOT YET HERE, OR MAY NOT SHOW UP AT ALL, but you’ll inconvenience ME, who is a customer here right now!! You people are unbelievable fucking stupid!!”
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