Believed At Last! – Spreading the word on Beautiful Philippines

Hey folks, it’s just me, your friendly neighborhood FAFI back into business. I know it’s been a while since posting on here, but I have been keeping up with the articles weekly. I’ve just been sheltering myself from anything pinoy-related ever since my trip back from America, I even went as far as avoiding bitching about the nonsense that goes on here, but ever so did I realize by doing so, I feel like I ended back up at square one again; constantly frustrated, bottled up anger, and having no one to vent my perpetual problems to, so I inevitably came back. As for my absence, just face it, I’m gonna be bouncing back and forth to this blog like how I do my yo-yo diets.

Yes, you all heard right. I was back in the good ol Red, White, and Blue. The place where principles do exist and where you can talk to people without being expected to give money at the end of a conversation. Unfortunately, I was stupid enough to come back to this brain dead nation where (most) beer is cheaper than water. Then again, every country does have its advantages, and to be honest, I did miss the view of brainless models compared to being surrounded by intelligent ogres. If I ever become single again in America, one thing is for sure: My sex life is over (meaning that, I don’t find American women attractive anymore now that I’ve experienced hotter while in Asia).

I’m not going to bore you with the details of how America life is like, because we’ve all been there, or at least you’ve been to some other developed nation in your past if not your own respective country of residence. The one thing that I want to point out is that we, as a community of expats on this blog, are not delusional when we speak of our experiences here. I was viewed as a complete nutcase when speaking of my experiences here from a distance to my folks back at home, but I took it upon myself to gather as much video and picture evidence as I can to show my friends and family.

Upon witnessing what I had to show them, their facial expression was priceless. It’s the kind of look a 10 year old would have after seeing porn for the first time. They were just as heavily disgusted with the foul state of Philippines as I was, and it had talked them all out of making any future plans to ever visit this country. Unfortunately I was unable to reach this message out to my cousin, who is currently country hopping in Asia. I guess he will have to find out about Philippines the hard way.

Well I will feel guilty if I took full credit for coming back to this blog on my own accord. I had recently met a new expat friend who thinks no differently than any of us on this blog, he kinda looks like a fat version of Jesus, but he doesn’t believe in all of that sky fairy nonsense that is being abusively displayed in this country either. Just for the sake of concealing his identity on this blog, I will just refer to him as “Fat Jesus.” As for Fat Jesus, he has been deeply exposed to some incidents in Philippines that had even blown my mind! He is swimming in the belly of the beast and I’m sure he has some stories that you will all be shocked and appalled by. I sure hope he joins us soon, and it’s not just for the sake of our entertainment value, but I fear for his sanity and restraint against inflicting harm against these corrupted little bastards which will land him some hard time in Philippine prison. He has already found the magic word that will instantly piss off 90% of Pinoys, and I’m just afraid that he may end up saying that to the wrong group of Pinoys someday. You know how vindictive these critters can be.

For those of you who are following my stories, you would know that I have a dumbshit Filipina wife who I somewhat love and care about. Well my buddy Fat Jesus just made me appreciate my Filipina idiot wife so much more. If you think I have wife problems, then wait until you hear about his! I’m not gonna gossip his entire life story on here. For one, I’m sure Fat Jesus is reading this too, plus I’m sure he will be more than happy to tell it himself, but to put it in a nutshell: she is shit fuckin crazy times a hundred! I really do salute his courage to put up with an abusive girl like that, the reason why he is still with her is beyond me. What I heard about her was almost enough for me to commit homicide or suicide if I was in a relationship like that! It was just way too much!

Don't Go HereWell anyway, I managed to find my happiness while being here in this country and that happiness simply consists of NOT BEING HERE! Recently I decided to be a monthly frequent flyer. I will be travelling to Malaysia in a few days from now, then I will be hitting up Hong Kong next month. Those two tickets are already booked, and I’m still deciding where to fly to after Hong Kong.

Note to yourself: if you follow the promos on Cebupacificair, you can book yourself a ticket to one of these nearby Asian countries for less than 3,000 pesos roundtrip if you catch it at the right time. Lately trips to Hong Kong have been 900 pesos (double it for roundtrip). If you are an expat under a short term tourist visa, I advise that you travel to nearby countries every month for less than 3,000php instead of paying that 3,000php to immigration every month (or every 2 months) just to stay here longer. This will stop the immigration from getting rich off our sorry asses, and it’s good for your sanity to escape this hell-hole every once in a while. Try it! This works for me! 🙂

Published in Expats


    1. Profile gravatar of FAFI
      FAFI Post author

      You betcha! It was like an orgasm in my mouth. But to be frankly honest, since being here in Philippines I had to learn how to cook real fast, that way I actually have something to enjoy eating around here. I hate to brag, but I make one hell of a good chef!

  1. Profile gravatar of snakebitbytheflips

    Good chef, really? Good for you! In fact, that is just about the only way you can trust the food you eat over there–because you made it yourself without having to worry about it being prepared by some filthy flip who failed to thoroughly wash his hands after taking a dump and wiping himself without TP.

    I love to cook also, and some time in the future I plan on posting an experience I had after cooking for those vermin. It will be a good read, trust me 🙂

    BTW, what is that one word that will piss off 90% of flips?

    1. Profile gravatar of FAFI
      FAFI Post author

      That word is “Hampas-lupa.” He uses it notoriously and it really does a lot a mental damage. Try it and you will see.