It’s taken a while to write this post as I’ve been waiting on the final elements of my divorce plan to fall into place. Didn’t want to Jinx it by crowing about it.
Filipino’s make great candidates for divorce, which is probably no surprise to most of you. The reason why they’re such good candidates is pretty much down to displaying the traits you see mentioned in nearly every thread. Divorcing a Pinoy is a picnic and if you keep your head straight you can easily engineer your dream divorce.
I’ve seen so many guys do this and end up with a maintenance free divorce. To illustrate why I’ll relate my story.
I first visited the Philippines as part of a work assignment initially due to last 3 weeks but extended to 6 months. The job would have taken 3 weeks in any normal country but lets just say after the 1st day, the schedule and timetable was shredded. During this time I met and fell in love with my Ex-Wife. We married after 18 months. Like any marriage, it has it’s ups and downs and you learn to adapt and make the best of the situation. We had two lovely kids and I was content.
My wife and the kids visited the Philippines every year for anything from 3 weeks to 2 months. Often I would join them for 2 or 3 weeks. Invariably this cost me a small fortune as on top of flights, my wife required anything from $200-300 a day to survive in her home place. Never understood why, as never seemed to have anything much to show for the cash. Mind you she used do crazy stuff from time to time, like sponsor beauty pageants just to hear her name called out during the pageant.
Well during one of these visits, she met and fell in love with an ex-classmate, surprise, surprise. When she returned from this trip she was silent for he first 5 days, not speaking much. Now it isn’t unusual for her to be a little depressed, after a few weeks living the millionaire lifestyle, but this was different and more like a tampo. She stopping dong tampo 5 years prior to this, as I just learned to enjoy the peace and quiet, a tampo can bring. Then she dropped the Bombshell, she had an affair and under questioning told me all about the guy she had met, 95% half truth and lies. She wanted to leave me for this guy and live in the Philippines.
I digested the news for a couple of weeks, re-accessed my situation, gave her the opportunity to change her mind, then proceeded to hash out a divorce agreement. No need to waste money on expensive lawyers. She wholeheartedly agreed,as she still felt guilty about how she was treating me, this guilt wore off quick. Her Pinoy friends advise her take the deal, while it’s on offer, they all got burned bad in their divorces. When all sides lawyer up, the lawyer can get the wife good deal, but then mysteriously all the assets have disappeared and the guy is unemployed and on welfare, so no pot of gold at the end of that rainbow and she’s stuck with the kids to feed. If she had played hardball this would have happened her too. The courts always give the kids to the mom, so I did well to keep our son, I reluctant knew I had to accept defeat on our daughter.
All she wanted was to live in the Phils with her new beau, and just keep one of the kids as ransom, to ensure a good flow of cash. She couldn’t have done this with a lawyer as although she would get custody of the kids, I would have visiting rights, so she won’t have been able to return to the Phils.
I went on the internet bought a divorce agreement template and filled in the details, deleting anything I didn’t much care for and put in a few subtle clauses of my own. Given that I wrote the agreement, it was one sweet deal for me and she believed a sweet deal for her. She was too lazy to read it fully and too dumb to understand anything but the cash she would get. she gets to live in the Phils and have an income that’s several times what an educated professional earns there. All she got was a regular maintenance payment, which was 25% of my salary but the way our tax law works this actually costs me less as I get to pay this from gross income, i.e. tax free, tax man ends up paying 45% of my maintenance. This was less than she was costing when we were married. I get to sell the house and keep proceeds, keep my pension another $200,000 and our son gets to live with me (his choice). No Lawyer could ever have got me this deal.
We went to the attorney and got the agreement finalized. Attorney (female) wasn’t happy, repeatably asked Ex if she wanted independent legal advise, but I had prepared her for this eventuality, so she told him no need. Attorney only got fee for witnessing and certifying the document. Certification wasn’t necessary by law, but Filipinos are so impressed by the extra stamps, especially the colorful wax one, that it’s well worth the extra $50. Makes it more legal in their eyes. All her friends were impressed.
She then left for the Phils with my daughter leaving our son behind. I stuck to the agreement and after a year the divorce was finalized. The house sold and I ended up $200,000 richer. I now have enough cash and income to do anything I want. I visit my daughter in the Phils 3 times a year, staying for 1-2 months a time. Work have been very flexible, as they know they need me more than I need them. While no-one is irreplaceable, I’ve been there long enough (20 year) that replacement is a very tough option.
When in the Phils I live the life of Reilly. Enjoying life with the kids by day, dropping them at their moms in the evening. I now met a lovely woman, but now that I’m experienced battle hardened veteran, as soon as it sours, it’s time to wave goodbye and move on.
Meanwhile my Ex is constantly broke, as she never learned to manage money always looks for a $100 here or there, for one bullshit excuse or another. I never pay any more or less than what’s in our divorce agreement, as that would be a slippery slope. Gotta hand it to her though she is very imaginative. The kids seem to enjoy the arrangement too and are thrilled with their new brother and another sibling on the way, yep that’s right no need for birth control in flip relationships.
So hopefully you can all learn from my experience and remember when the inevitable happens keep calm and reasonable above all stay on speaking terms. Work out the best case scenario for you and then patiently explain how they are getting a great deal, low ball them on the settlement, allowing them to feel accomplishment when they negotiate more. The settlement is all they will care about, besides returning to the Phils to show their big success and spend all that loot. Remember always express maintenance as a yearly amount, that way it seems like they have hit the jackpot, remember math is not a strong point in the Phils. If kids are involved pay the maintenance weekly, otherwise the kids will suffer while she waits for payday to arrive. I would pay daily if I could, but didn’t think that would fly in court.
The reality is the agreement wasn’t worth the paper it was written on, if she ever contested it in court. Key is not to get to court until she’s left the country and the agreement has been adhered and been in place long enough for the court to accept it. Then you can get your divorce, which she didn’t contest as suited her be be divorced so no longer living in sin.