Birth Certificate Baffoonery

I’m so ef’ing pissed off right now I’m ready to strangle a few ignorant Filipinos.

I got an American guy in Manila I found online that will submit the paperwork with the U.S. embassy for a DCF visa for my wife. I’ve got true original copies coming from the U.S. of previous divorces and I also need true originals of my wife’s birth certificate NSO’s. This is where it becomes stupid. Back somewhere in my wife’s history a typhoon destroyed vital records and people in the area needed to resubmit there information for vital statistics records. That much being said, my father in law is as dumb as a box of rocks. It may be that the day he went to report the birth records of his kids he was intoxicated. My wife has two different Birth certificates in the data base.

When she applied for overseas employment in her young 20’s it was at that time she discovered the error of Date of Birth that was on file. (basically what was on file put her age at 11 months older than her actual age) To correct this she had to get documentation from the municipality and show these documents to the NSO in Manila to get her corrected Date of Birth into the system. Now for me logic would have it to remove the incorrect certificate from the system. But no! It’s still there.

Two weeks ago we ordered copies of our marriage license and two more copies of the birth certificate. To avoid any confusion I sent a pristine copy of the correct birth certificate needed with a note saying this is what we need, also explaining we are aware of the other incorrect document still in the system and don’t make the mistake of sending that one.

Well true to form my wife just returned from the municipality with two copies of the wrong document. 

I’ve had it with inept idiots.




Published in Blatant Stupidiy


  1. Profile gravatar of FHPS

    Its idiotic that a girl 10 years out of school I know was made to go and show a school leaving cert and birth cert. The even more fucked up thing is the cost to go home and get it.

    I can’t understand this last pay just on baffonery. When you leave a job the leaving employee has to show a postal ID. I said huh? They know who you are and what account have they been transferring your pay to.. Her bank account. It’s common practice to issue the last pay in a cheque and they wanted to verify her postal address! So she needs to apply for an official postal ID — morons

    1. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
      Don Quixote

      I had experience years ago in Australia, I had left home years before had been at sea for 17 years. I applied for Mature Aged Education Entry into University.
      They wanted to know my FATHERS DETAILS INCOME EVERYTHING.???????????????
      The only way I got that to go away, I gave his address as Rookwood Cemetery .
      So I had no idea of his income level. The penny dropped the genius said HE IS DEAD ?????????
      Never admit anything just indicate.
      Yup BUREAUCRATS are the same all over the world.!!!!!!!!!!!
      PS. He died two years ago !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What can I say I almost lied !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
    Don Quixote

    Ive been through this shit myself, we needed to get the child bride a passport, but she was late registered when born in the province. So her Birth certificate was done a a much later time and was miniscule different than the baptismal certificate, her fathers name was spelt different only, Caesar, Ceasar both these spellings are acceptable, and easy to understand a transposition anywhere on earth, EXCEPT THE FUCKING PHILIPPINES!!!!!!!!!
    Now the child bride had left school 20 years before this time. She had Voters ID, Employment ID, College ID.
    Drivers License. NOT FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    She needed her ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TRANSCRIPTS to prove she was who she was WTF
    .Not good enough her college transcripts.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    As if the School transcript would have the fucking fathers name on it.
    Now to get this fucking transcript , it could only be gotten at the school she attended, not available via mail. .
    She had to attend the fucking school she left 25 years earlier.
    Now if she was Illiterate uneducated moron, she could have gotten a letter from an Attorney , and that would have been good enough. I know this is true as my mates wife did exactly that after the nightmare we were put through.
    When the NSO and school all matched it still took three visits to get her passport, then they only issue them for five fucking years. The whole fucking world issues ten year passports, not the fucking Philippines.
    Why so they can make them pay again .

    1. Profile gravatar of FHPS

      My friend paid 700p to a printing company to make up a fake postal I’d anyway in the end!!

      Why does she need to have that situation where she has to orove her id to get finak pay when the money is paid into her bank ac for last 12/months

    2. Profile gravatar of CantFixStupid

      My fiancee just finished renewing her passport…. after 8 visits! She had an error in birthplace on her birth cert. she had to bring her high school yearbook and a bunch of other crap. Oh and on the fourth visit they told her they lost her paperwork and had to resubmit everything. This is 2015, these people don’t know what a computer is for besides Facebook and playing kiddies games…

      1. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
        Don Quixote

        They want you to use their FIXERS that’s why do it yourself you get the run around. Their FIXERS give them a sling for their commission.
        Why do they require all that shit again.
        For a renewal.
        I forgot about that shit when the child bride renewed her fucking 5 year passport.
        It s like starting all over again.
        In OZ take old one to Post Office, fill in form leave passport pay money.
        Two weeks passport arrives Registered Mail, old passport inside clipped in half.
        EASY PEAZY

  3. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
    Captain PFB

    I have never seen a country fuck up birth certificates so much as Philippines. Come to think of it, MOST documents are inaccurate and full of extremely stupid fucking errors. Nothing is important in Philippines. NOTHING. So they really don’t pay any attention to facts or accuracy when documenting.
    My partner once had a business which required new hire’s birth certificates. It is unbelievable how many (like nearly 50%) had the WRONG GENDER!!! WTF???????
    You really have to go to stupid school to learn to be THAT FUCKING STUPID.

    1. Profile gravatar of Troy
      Troy Post author

      I wanna offer an explanation for that. I routinely quiz my nieces and nephews two are attending college in Cebu. The oldest attending engineering school. Not one knows their multiplication table. I don’t like to use the expression back in the day, but where I come from you didn’t move onto the sixth grade until you had this down pat in your head. So, with they’re inability to grasp numbers this lends some explanation why they multiple like fleas….:)

      1. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
        Don Quixote

        As a qualified, certified Marine Engineer I can tell you that NO SCHOOL in Australia would accept any pupil into any Engineering course unless they can PASS a Mathematics Exam. In my case the Exam was as hard as any I ever got in school with a pass mark of 75% some questions were 100% pass. Before you could even sit in a class.
        So it seems that anyone can buy there way into a class, probably buy their degree too.
        As someone who left school at 14 and paid to educate myself I find it morally offensive how they operate schools in the PI.
        BUT. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
        I have heard they DON’T teach the tables in Australian schools by rote these days either.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    2. Profile gravatar of JamesR

      I talked with some Filipinos about this before and probably 80% of the birth certificates have stupid errors. I know a girl who’s birth certificate said she was a boy. So she had to go to a doctor, get naked while he touched her girly parts, and get a piece of paper from him saying she was really a girl. Then she had to take that paper, pay some fees, and wait for it to get corrected. A few months later it was finally done.

      A problem in the Philippines is like what CyberGod says below. The “it’s okay sir” not only from government workers but even the girls parents. Rather than fix the problem right away she had to deal with that shit 20 years later. I know if I had a kid and there was wrong information I would hound those idiots daily until it was fixed. Unfortunately her parents just say, “meh, whatever its fine who cares if her gender is listed wrong it doesn’t matter.” Well it does matter if you want to ever get a drivers license, passport, visa, get married, etc..

  4. Profile gravatar of Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III
    Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III

    I remember assisting a former girlfriend with a passport application, part of which required her obtaining a copy of her birth certificate. Of course, when the certificate was issued her middle name was spelt incorrectly. I’d been here long enough to know to look for this kind of stuff before leaving the office, so handed the birth certificate back to the issuing moron, and demanded a replacement. After the usual bullshit of trying the tell me “…it’s OK Siiiir”, he reluctantly agreed to issue a new certificate. The prick then tried to extract another issuance fee! That really wasn’t the best part of the story though…

    We turned up at the government office complex in San Fernando, expecting that kind of bullshit. What we didn’t expect was that my girlfriend would be barred from entering the building for – wait for it – wearing a dress! The security guard told her that she had to be wearing “long pants” to enter. Seriously, what the fuck! For whatever reason, men were able to enter the building in shorts and slippers, which I did – and got the birth certificate.

    Fucking, fucking, fucking MORONS!

    1. Profile gravatar of Troy
      Troy Post author

      Cebu has the longs pants Bullshit dress code (for men). There is no universal straight across the board statute. It is just make up your own rules as you go along. Tacloban on the other hand could care less, they are just happy you walk through door with pesos in your pocket.

  5. Profile gravatar of Johnny

    It must be a conspiracy to Fuck up the birth certificate. I think they do it on purpose to get the person/ family to come back and pay to get it fixed. They have the hardest time with names and dates.
    Talk to any OFW or Filipino applying for a passport. They ALL have this issue.

  6. Profile gravatar of

    In America any midwife with no training can submit a birth certificate for a child born in Mexico and claim they are American…