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Blogs Home > Filipino Stupidity

The Modern Filipino

Jul 1 | By Mike | Views: 536 | Comments: 31
Yes I have been away for a little while but with cause. Seems the electric company has a problem keeping the juice on and I get about 10 blackouts a day. When the electric is on then the net keeps dropping. Welcome to the suck. So update on life in  "paradise". Which begs the question, 'If they cannot keep the electric on then why do I keep getting an electric bill each month?"

     The child bride has been doing pretty good on business and as a result she has bought 4 houses within the last year as an investment. House number one is two story which she had two walls in the master bedroom and bath tore down to install a Jacuzzi and extend the master bedroom. So it's a 3 person Jacuzzi so naturally I brought up the weight when filled with water and 3 people. "Oh, the engineer said it will be fine" was the reply. Yes, a filipino engineer so why am I nervous?

  One other house is leased to a missionaries and their church pays the rent and taxes. The contract will be renewed with a P1,000 rent increase per month. The other house is being landscaped and will be rented to foreign tourist for P2,500 a night including a driver and car for 8 hours each day. The Mobilia is part of it but if they want the MU X then a little more.

    So today I went for a bike ride with my son and we stopped by the house where the landscaping was taking place. So there they are with the sod pulling little pieces out and planting it. I grabbed 4 squares of sod and showed my son how to do it, you know, stagger like bricks so you don't leave a seem/line. All the filipinos stopped and watched me and then figured out what I was doing and how it worked. But in true filipino fashion they went back to their way. Guess the thought was "Fuck K.I.S.S." (keep it simple stupid).

   Now for the house where I am living while the main house is remodeled. Yes the Brit is still with us (shoot me please someone!) Yes he still walks down the hallway butt ass naked. But there has been a twist so to say. Seems he goes into the CR, takes a shit and leaves shit on the floor as he cleans himself and walks out. Today, that happened and it led to a shit storm, no pun intended. So mother in law wants to take a bath and then see the shit on the floor and tells the maid. Brit says it was mother in law so mother in law gets mad, gets a knife and raises it above her head toward the Brit. Yeah, I know. In civilized countries the Brit might say self defense.

  But for some odd reason filipinos think it's justified to pull a knife in a threatening matter because they were accused of leaving a little shit on the floor. Brit told me that he has had enough but did not say he was leaving. I have been telling child bride to get him a house he can afford with live in care taker and get him out. Otherwise I will be forced to send him up to Capt. Filo to live. Capt, get the room ready.

   You all will love this one. So we went out and bought son and myself a new bike so we could ride. I kept asking the clerk what was the highest speed they had and was told 11 speed was the highest. Odd says I to myself as I look at the bikes then pick one out. Yes according to the filipinos if a bike has 3 sprockets up front and 8 on the rear wheel then it is an 11 speed and not a 24 speed.

    Microwaves and filipinos. It goes without saying that I am the only one who knows anything about the animals in the house. So wife goes out and buys one and all of a sudden all the filipinos in the house are experts in the use of a microwave oven. Want to soften butter? 3 Minutes. Want to warm up a chicken leg? 3 minutes. No matter what you put in the microwave set the time to three minutes. Put popcorn in and hit the popcorn button which puts up 3 minutes and 30 seconds, hit start. Don't listen to the popcorn but go by the timer and burn the popcorn. After all the microwave god is always right.

     I the subdivision we have speeders who dart about regardless of the children. So In relation to this I went to a homeowners meeting and brought this problem up. As a suggestion I said install speed bumps and the reply was classic even for filipinos.
 Filipinos: "We cannot install speed bumps because it is against the law."
Me: But we moved from a lower class subdivision and they had speed bumps.
Filipinos: But speed bumps might damage the cars.
Me: What about speeders running over and injuring the children or killing them?

  BLANK STARE, SHUT DOWN, REBOOT, BLANK STARE.
 I have just made my mind up that I will kick the shit out of any filipinos I see that his a child. FUCK THEM! I will beat them to within an inch of their life and then ask them if they see god yet.

    Here they made a 2 lane road into a 4 lane. Simple right? Not so fast there Hoss. They made the right lane both ways but did not move the power poles back. So now you have power poles to the left of the center line in the right lanes both ways. HOW FUCKING STUPID CAN YOU BE? dO FILIPINOS GO OUT OF THEIR WAY TO BE THIS FUCKING STUPID? Why even widen the road if you are not going to move the poles back?

    Am I stressed? YES! Am I pissed at how filipinos and the country treat us? YES! Do I speak my mind to filipinos with the attitude "FUCK YOUR FEELINGS!" YES! Do I hate filipinos? NO! Do I respect filipinos? NO! They have taught me they do not deserve respect.


     
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CaptainPFB Admin
Jul 5
I don't claim to be nor want to be a leader here. I am merely a host.....a provider of a venue to which I am also a participating member.
David_Roxas
Jul 5
Captain, as our host will you please tell us what is going on with the updates? Seems to happen every few weeks for a few hours.
CaptainPFB Admin
Jul 5
What updates are you talking about? What seems to happen?
David_Roxas
Jul 5
Like yesterday when the page loaded a screen that said under maintenance be back soon. This has happened a few times in the past month or two.
CaptainPFB Admin
Jul 5
Ah yes, My server has had very high loads for quite some time. Yesterday, my host and I were doing some investigating, and discovered some jerk in (a specific country known for malicious cyber behavior) has been trying to attack the server. Simple solution, we blocked that whole country from my server.

Loads now are at an all time low, consistently. The attack attempts failed, as it did not shut my server down. But I put it in maintenance mode those few times for investigating.
Ah yes, My server has had very high loads for quite some time. Yesterday, my host and I were doing some investigating, and discovered some jerk in (a specific country known for malicious cyber behavio...See more
Mike
Jul 5
In all fairness to our Brit guest I have an update that might explain his odd behavior at times. Last week he had a medical exam and the results were read by his doctor yesterday. Stage 4 colon cancer that has also affected his liver. This is his second time with colon cancer. Dr. has given him 6 months to a year at the most even with chemo. Though not sure I suspect the cancer might have been affecting his brain to some degree.

So after much thought and talk the wife and I have decided that we cannot and will not turn him out as the right thing to do would be to help him and make as comfy as possible till the end. Going back to the UK is out of the question as a ferry trip from Manila put him in bad shape. Then we are the only ones in the country that he really knows. His pinay wife does not give a shit about him. He seems to be taking it pretty well though and the other night asked me what the side effects from chemo might entail and went over what he wanted done when the end came. His first bout they got it with surgery so chemo will be new for him if he decides to go through with that.

Now if I was to make a joke about all of this it would be along the lines "David takes in stray dogs. I take in stray Brits."
In all fairness to our Brit guest I have an update that might explain his odd behavior at times. Last week he had a medical exam and the results were read by his doctor yesterday. Stage 4 colon cancer...See more
CaptainPFB Admin
Jul 6
Very compassionate of you Mike.
Mike
Jul 6
Capt,
Thanks. It's nice to know this country and people have not robbed me of all my compassion and humanity, least not yet anyway. On the other side of the coin, I don't think I would have this much compassion or humanity for a filipino in the same situation as my British guest.
Capt,
Thanks. It's nice to know this country and people have not robbed me of all my compassion and humanity, least not yet anyway. On the other side of the coin, I don't think I would have th...See more
CaptainPFB Admin
Jul 6
You'd be surprised at how much of a beating the human body can take LOL
Mike
Jul 7
Capt,
After military service nothing surprises me about how much the body can take. Nuf said on that if you don't mind. Private details.
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