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Pasalubong is Wonderful and teaches us about giving

Jul 11 | By ParaPo | Views: 351 | Comments: 19
Hey folks,

Just saw this on BBC and thought I would share

http://www.bbc.com/travel/story/20170706-what-the-philippines-can-teach-us-about-giving

We learn why pasalubong is so awesome and important in this article.

This must be why the ugly fat lady at the hardware store asks me for pasalabong whenever she sees me, because she wants to teach me about giving.  Like we have a relationship or that she even knows my name.   Go figure.  That's why I walk three times as far to another hardware store to buy what I need.  Her need for greed has stopped my from buying at her store.
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forawhilesir
Jul 13
It's amazing how Filipinos manage to get their bullshit repeated on international TV. "We're all such close families", "we look after our old people and you put your old people in homes", "we're the only Christian country in Asia [or most Christian country in Asia"], "we're a loving and giving people" ... it goes on and on and on. The idiot reporters never seem to actually look around them and notice that whatever the Filipinos are saying, the reality is the exact opposite.It's amazing how Filipinos manage to get their bullshit repeated on international TV. "We're all such close families", "we look after our old people and you put your old people in homes...See more
Mike
Jul 13
@85,
"Ingrate"? Damn hope I have not gone native. As for getting Capt riled and giving ulcers remember obamacare is no more. As for me I'll just sit back and watch over a cold beer. Unless DD invites me to his place then I'll watch over a gin and tonic. LOL
@85,
"Ingrate"? Damn hope I have not gone native. As for getting Capt riled and giving ulcers remember obamacare is no more. As for me I'll just sit back and watch over a cold beer. ...See more
ControlNumber
Jul 13
@Sarahfin wife and I have to keep quiet when we go over for a visit or you get "cmon just take this 30kg of Cadbury chocolate and give to my sister, aunt or neighbour" OR "can you bring back ate's prawn paste"? or similar.
Sarahfin
Jul 13
"We're all such close families, we look after our old people and you put your old people in homes" forawhilesir, if I hear any more of this "close family ties" bullshit, I swear I'll puke!! No, you Flips don't put your old people in nursing homes because 1) you haven't got the facilities, and 2) you or the old person in the family can't afford to pay for the fees because you would have conspired to bleed poor Grandma out of her money, or stolen whatever she has left of any value. So Grandma gets shafted from family to family, unwanted, unloved in her old age. Of course, not all Flips are like these but a good majority are!"We're all such close families, we look after our old people and you put your old people in homes" forawhilesir, if I hear any more of this "close family ties" bullshit, I swear I'...See more
Sarahfin
Jul 13
ControlNumber, we never take someone else's package, what with drug dangers in "unknown packages" these days. :) Besides, it's OK for Flips to ask you to bring a box of chocolates for Ate, but will they return the favor? Prawn paste? Dried fish? no thanks!ControlNumber, we never take someone else's package, what with drug dangers in "unknown packages" these days. :) Besides, it's OK for Flips to ask you to bring a box of chocolates for Ate, b...See more
85andbelow
Jul 14
" So Grandma gets shafted from family to family, unwanted, unloved in her old age." So damned true. GF's grandma asked to come up to stay at a second house that we helped some of the family members/workers get as she was being mistreated at her daughter's house near Manila. I okayed it as long as her home was the second house and provided a small stipend for her food and small needs. Hard working woman, cleaned the GF's house, kept an eye on the little sister, very decent person who contributed to the family. Wasn't long till she was sent packing though, not sure why, but I paid the fare back to Cebu." So Grandma gets shafted from family to family, unwanted, unloved in her old age." So damned true. GF's grandma asked to come up to stay at a second house that we helped some of the family ...See more
Mike
Jul 14
85,
Wife has two mothers, one birth (a bitch) and the one that raised her. So wife goes Manila to handle a house deal and comes back and she ask me if it's ok if birth mother comes to stay with us as she has no place to live and will care for the house in return. This woman I nicknamed smokestack and a chain smoker.

I told wife just one screw up and she is out, wife agreed so smokestack comes down. About 3 weeks later I hear screaming from smokestack and wife so I go check it out. Smokestack on the phone with one of the pinoys from her litter of rugrats and there is a problem in Manila. Another of the rugrats is a shabu user and is stirring up shit in the house we own, the one wife is selling/sold. Told wife to contact he person at PNP up there and have shabu rugrat picked up and went back to my man cave.

Little later wife enters the domain of man and before I could say it she beat me to it,,,,,, "I'm sending her back to Manila." 85, Smokestack should be knocking on your door anytime now.LOL
85,
Wife has two mothers, one birth (a bitch) and the one that raised her. So wife goes Manila to handle a house deal and comes back and she ask me if it's ok if birth mother comes to stay wit...See more
Sarahfin
Jul 14
GF's grandma asked to come up to stay at a second house that we helped some of the family members/workers get as she was being mistreated at her daughter's house near Manila. Hard working woman, cleaned the GF's house, kept an eye on the little sister, very decent person who contributed to the family. Wasn't long till she was sent packing though, not sure why, but I paid the fare back to Cebu.". That is such a sad story, 85andbelow, butsadly only one of many. Three years ago, the tenant of my house in the city was a young, factory worker. Then her family dumped her Grandma onto her, when she was working full time. They did not tell her that Grandma was dementing and prone to wander out. Then she lost her job, so told the family she could no longer care for Grandma. No, they won't take Grandma back! In the end, with no income and a dementing Grandmother to support, she moved out, then contacted the DSWD (Philippine social workers) for help. I don't know what happened to her Grandma after that.

The obligation to support is actually in the Philippine constitution. According to Article 195 of the Family Code, the following persons are obliged to support each other:
the spouses;
1.legitimate ascendants and descendants;
parents and their legitimate children and the legitimate children of the latter;
2.parents and their illegitimate children and the legitimate and illegitimate children of the latters;
3.legitimate brothers and sisters, whether of full or half-blood.
​By ascendants of course is interpreted as ​"Those from whom a person is descended, or from whom he derives his birth,​" Perhaps this is where the culture of supporting the family comes from. ​

But back to close family ties.... in any case, even if the family were willing to provide care and support for their aged relative, most Filipinos simply don't have the knowledge and resources to deal with their sick and very old family members, especially bed ridden ones. The poorer Filipino's practices of sleeping on bamboo beds or floors can only ensure a quick death, but not without suffering.

One of the important cares we give to the nurses if a patient is bed ridden is, pressure area prevention. This involved providing a soft mattress, and strategic positioning if the patient is in bed or chairs, and turning the patient every 2 hours. Imagine how fast a pressure area ulcer can develop in a patient who sleeps on a hard bed?

I was in 4th year of med school when I was asked to give an opinion on a bed-ridden patient (a distant relative of my Flip Grandma) who was living in the mountains of provincial Cebu. The family were very poor, and obviously lacking the knowledge about caring for a bed ridden elderly relative (as mentioned above). Upon examining the patient, I was horrified to see a pressure ulcer so large and so deep, my fist could easily have fit inside it. I believed that the ulcer had gone deep into the bone. Even in our modern medicines here, an ulcer that deep is difficult to treat and costs a lot of money in terms of special dressings, not to mention utterly strict sterile processes when dressing the wounds. Also, some of the special wound dressings that we use for pressure ulcers are very expensive, some costing $50 each!

Considering the family's financial situation, I really could not advise them anything else but to take their Grandma to a hospital to get that pressure ulcer attended to. Sadly, the Grandma died two months later.

So, Filipino close family ties or nursing homes in the west? I know which one I'd choose.

​​
GF's grandma asked to come up to stay at a second house that we helped some of the family members/workers get as she was being mistreated at her daughter's house near Manila. Hard working woman, clean...See more
85andbelow
Jul 15
I guess the woman that got Grandma dumped on her was thought to be responsible for the obligation now that she had 350 pesos a day coming in....
85andbelow
Jul 15
Sarah, have you ever seen or heard of anyone being held responsible for supporting family through that Constitution Article? Part of me likes the idea that family can be held responsible for other family members but only if the unfortunate one is truly unable to care for themselves. That would solve a lot of problems in society if people had to provide for their own. Might put some work ethic into the lazy spawn and parents too.Sarah, have you ever seen or heard of anyone being held responsible for supporting family through that Constitution Article? Part of me likes the idea that family can be held responsible for other fam...See more
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