Boracay: Snitch Island

Hello my investigative chums! Kalbo here. Well I’ve been running the gauntlet also known as Boracay recently. It was not a bad trip despite being the recipient of various unsolicited goods and services.

I came across many prominently placed posters around the island right next to the beach and decided to post one of ’em here.

Where I’m from, snitches get stitches. On Boracay, however, snitches (magsumbong) get 2000 pesos!



Published in Crime


  1. Profile gravatar of snakebitbytheflips

    The Bureau of Imbeciles (oops, I mean Immigration) has been called one of the most corrupt–if not the most corrupt–agency in that poor-excuse-for-a-country. One of their scams involving foreigners–which has been going on for several years now and is getting worse–is to target certain people who either take frequent trips to the country, stay there for extended periods of time, or who accidentally overstay their visa, slap “exclusions” on them, so when they try to enter the country they will not be permitted in and will be forced to return home. They target such foreigners because they feel that those people have some sort of “ties” to the country (wife, girlfriend, businesses, etc.) and therefore would be most likely to pay the “fees” (read: bribes) to have that “exclusion” lifted. this has become very easy for them to do now that their system is computerized.

    I know of two missionaries, who had been taking trips to that country for many years, who were targeted on separate occasions. One of them knew a flip attorney and that attorney told him about this scam in the BI. The attorney said the only way to get the “exclusion” lifted was to pay their “fees” (read: bribes) which may amount to as much as US$10,000.

    As for the “snitch for cash” thing they are running, methinks that will be ripe for abuse. What if a certain foreigner was living there on a valid visa, and someone–who may have had his/her “pride” wounded–decides to falsely report him as an “illegal”? Would the BI arrest him, lock him up, then force the legal foreigner to hire an attorney and pay the “fees” (read: bribes) to get released and exonerated? Yes, the foreigner can show his passport with the appropriate stamps, but with people “as crooked as a dog’s hind leg” (as my adopted father would say), they might still target him for exploitation.

    Also, given the corrupt nature of the BI, it might take months, if not years, before the snitch sees any of the reward bounty…if at all….

    Just another one of many reasons why no foreigner should ever visit–much less live–in that poor-excuse-for-a-nation. The foreigner is much more deserving, and there are many other tropical countries with beautiful ladies where you will not have to deal with this s—.

    1. Profile gravatar of kalbo
      kalbo Post author

      It seems politically motivated. Why put these signs up on boracay along the beach path where all the tourists go. They are several metres wide. Imbeciles. And of course boracay is full of police types. Auxiliary police, barangay police, tourist police, traffic whatever police. Plus army patrolling. I even saw a bunch of them walking around with guns videoing themselves probably for their Facebooks.

    2. Profile gravatar of Johnny

      YOu have to know about the BI locking people up on fake charges or minor visa violations, which would be a simple fee in other countries. Then they continuously extort money for them. Look up a guy named George Spanos. The guy was locked up for 18 months. They just kept giving him the runaround to get more money from him.
      The BI mostly target the Chinese, Koreans, and Indians as they are the most common to overstay and be illegals. The best part is they pay the extortion and bribery charges so its a win for all, except the country.

  2. Profile gravatar of tambok

    There’s a Canadian guy here who shot two flips four years ago. He was deported and black listed. Now I see him back here again. One, how did he avoid conviction? Two, how did he get back in?

  3. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    To joekano.
    There was a canuck who shot 3 in cebu courtroom. I never heard from that again. A real Canuck would have got himself high up in the building and took out more than 3.
    To Mike.
    There was a sniper record made by a canuck in afganistan ,, the shot was more than 2 kms. I dont know if it still holds??

    1. Profile gravatar of Johnny

      Yeah, I remember that guy. I think he went insane being tied up in the corrupt court system with some pinoy jerking him around. His neighbor was giving him BS charges and doing the pinoy thing of dragging it as slowly as possible in court. They like to do that.
      I wish he would have taken more of them out. Then maybe they’d look to tidy up their shitty system.

      1. Profile gravatar of 30-30

        yes,, he starte dshooting them in the courtroom, However he could not have been a redneck!
        zA redneck would have shot them and run to the highest place and start throwing bombs and everything.

      2. Profile gravatar of Johnny

        He got passed security with 2 guns I think. The security guards are about as good at their jobs as the judges and court clerks. For that matter, is there anyone in the Philippines that is good at their job in gov’t or even in the private sector?

    2. Profile gravatar of Mike

      That record still stands. The taliban had a patrol pinned down and the sniper sat on a hill 2 kn away with his spotter. The taliban was also sniper with a spotter. So Canuk takes a few shots but range off and tal never moved. So Canuk got the range of the tal behind the rifle and whacked him. Now tal spotter takes over the rifle and Canuk whacks him. Funny thing, the tal never caught on that there was a sniper shooting at them. Bullet impact sent dirt up and to their right should have them that being shot at from the left.

    3. Profile gravatar of Mike

      Don’t forget the Canuk in Surigao City. They keep hassling on him to get bribes from him at provincial building. Would keep sending inspectors out to his place and “find” stuff that was wrong. So one fine sunny day Canuk shows up outside the provincial building and waits for the two assholes behind the harassment to come to work. They show up with their bodyguards of course when Canuk pulls his gun and starts shooting at them. He hit one bodyguard but missed everyone else before they got him on the ground. Just wounded the bodyguard. Never heard what happened to him as by the next day it was hushed up.

    4. Profile gravatar of Mufazzza

      And with that horrible procreation rate (where foreigners sadly contribute) they should import a division of Canuck snipers to keep numbers down!;-)

      Procreation should be prohibited for 100 years, to get the level back to 1896 where it was 6.705.354, or thereabouts! They are Really Fuckers! In the most literary sence of the word!

      With the disgusting lowlife attitude of the victims the snipers would simply do an effort of….cleanliness! Let’s hope Canada volunteers in this most laudable assignment mr. Al!;-)

      1. Profile gravatar of 30-30

        Not a chance, Our leftie do gooder PM wont even fight ISIS. Too busy importing illegal aliens. I see our hudson bay peso is down to 1.45 to the USA dollar.
        This time around,, the low oil prices will hit harder because the east canada does not much manufacturing left. It all got shipped to Mexico with the NAFTA treaty or China.

  4. Profile gravatar of Johnny

    You guys will also have to be wary of the BI setting you up to fail so you can get caught in their net. They might give you a fake stamp at teh BI office nonetheless, then later have you arrested for having a fake stamp. Another tactic is when your visa date is going to expire on say a Saturday, sunday, or one of their typical holidays, you will show up to pay the day before they are off duty. They will be there, the office will be open, and they will be “operating”. However, they will say, “no more payments sir. cashier gone sir” at 3pm. Then they will say you have to come back when they open again in 2-3 days, which means your visa will be expired.
    They did this to friend. They told him no more payments accepted cause cashier is gone and they can’t issue receipt. He said to them, “then what are you all doing? why is your office even open if your not going to process anything? Why can’t you take my money now, give me the stamp, and then cash it on monday?” Of course they did not care at all his Passport was going to expire. Luckily he raised a big enough stink and must have threatened to tell the right oversight person. They called the cashier back gave him his extension and he was out of the office at 4pm.
    Bottom line, they can set you up to fail, then pounce on you to extort you or penalize for what they did.

    1. Profile gravatar of 30-30

      Alway save the paper receipt for anything. They do not trust the stamps in the passport. They will offload you and you have to go an B of idiot office.

    2. Profile gravatar of Hey Joe
      Hey Joe

      Amen to that Johnny!!. Must be on guard 100% of the time.
      I always show-up at the BI 3 weeks to 1 MONTH before my visa expires.
      So far they always date the stamp ahead so I don’t loose that month..but I watch them like a hawk.

  5. Profile gravatar of FHPS

    I like how they use “foreigner” always – hardly welcoming …
    why don’t they have a dob in a pinoy hotline – never have that – so busy protecting the filipino culture.
    Always wanting to make something out of foreigners.
    I’d never dob in someone for 2000 pesos
    i could hand them a list of people who have been overstaying
    7 years
    10 yars +
    booh ha fuck you Philippines Immigration
    shove your fast lane fee up your fucking brown arses.
    I’ll never turn in overstayers, never. You fucks don’t give me any favours why would I want to give you favours.

    1. Profile gravatar of Hey Joe
      Hey Joe

      Yup, me too. I know 2-3 guys that have been here for years. Guess i am to much of a pussy to risk it.
      If I was single, no kids..??????
      It’s easy here to hire a boat at midnight that will haul your ass over to beach in Malaysia. If you need to “get out of Dodge” fast.

      As is said … “don’t pay the ferry-man till he get’s you to the other side”

  6. Profile gravatar of Phil Doh
    Phil Doh

    This snitch scheme has got sweet fuck all to do with weeding out the bad guys. It’s just another money maker. Two example cases I knew of which prove this:

    Kano 1: Overstayed by 3 years thinking he’d never leave then gets a well paid job abroad and needs to get out, he sends his gf to BI pays the fees and gets out no problem.

    Kano 2: Ran out of money, living homeless, begging for rice off the locals, visa expired many moons ago. Another kano takes pity on him and tells him if he goes to BI he will be deported to his home country where he will at least be able to claim welfare, housing etc. So off they go to BI, only to be turned away because he cannot pay the fines for his overstay.

    The scary thing about this snitch scheme is how many pinoys are going to see it and think, “wow 2k if I grass on him for overstaying, what will I get if I accuse him of rape or pedophilia.”

  7. Profile gravatar of kalbo
    kalbo Post author

    That’s what I was thinking Dr Phil.

    It’s likely the snitcher doesnt really know the true immigration status of the Kano and may just do it for revenge or purely because they hate Kanos. I’ve come to realise that most flips actually hate Kanos (or envy them). Imagine the immigration show up at some Kano’s house looking for dirt and find none. Must be pretty embrassing, especially for them as they are sensitive souls. But then it’s an opportunity to discover other “illegal” things the Kano is doing and extort cash by some other means.