I get up every morning and go through the same routine. First I check our business banking accounts as any payments made since when I last checked need to be added to our system.
This needs to be done manually because errr. I dont fucking know why. Because the businesses here have no idea about how people pay in 2014. They think that dropping cash in my account or a check is safer than paying by card or for that matter paying using any locally safe method online such as ATM bank transfer etc all of which we accept. They fear online as it is the unknown and think if they ever use their card, it will result in fraud. Suspicion and superstition in one.
So, back to the story.
The first bank I check is always BPI. It is first in my list because it takes the longest to load. I check the second (international) bank for updates and then come back to BPI which is usually just finishing loading.
At least 1 in 3 times I am greeted by the message that “Dear valued client, BPI express online is currently unavailable to service your online banking transactions. Please try your access after the system refresh or maintenance activity.”
Lets pick that statement to pieces.
“unavailable to service your online banking transactions”
BPI online banking (as far as I am aware) does not allow you to make any transactions. I am assuming that they are using the term “transactions” as in to transact a service.
“Please try your access after the system refresh or maintenance activity”
Where do I start with this fucking mess of a statement? OK, lets start with “Please try your access” which isn’t even correct. Next: “after the system refresh or maintenance activity”. The system refresh happens each night at 10pm for 30 minutes and the maintenance activity that is detailed is not scheduled for the time I am trying to access.
So what they are saying is “try again after the non existent items”.
Just as everything else with this country, the solution is always “try it again”.
I believe BPI stands for Bank of the Philippine Idiots or possibly Bastos of the Philippine Islands or maybe a mix of both.
Just to make matters worse, their system is so poorly coded that a “6” bleeds over to the bottom of the screen.
Its no wonder they wear flip flops, I doubt most could deal with the complexity involved in tying laces. Thank god for Velcro!
Reading back what I say about the population and business here, I hate myself. I do not want to say bad things. My mother told me that if I didnt have anything nice to say, I shouldnt say anything at all. That makes me a mute in this society.Published in