Cargo Cult Bloody Morons

Morons, absolute morons and absolutely bloody morons.

For 5 years I have been trying to establish a business (a particular one) in Phils it may or may not happen. No issue there. Just legal issues are frustrating.

Along the way have discussions with so called middle class about possible businesses. There are maybe two small but possibly profitable sidelines i consider.

These middle class morons waste their own time my time and every one else’s time. They have a “cargo cult” mentality (Like in PNG after WW11 and parachutes of goodies from aussie and american planes). They seem to think it will continue.That some money fairy will just spend a wad, let them have a share and they will do nothing for it. Not sure what I missed in the communication but that is how it turned out.

One time we sat down had some lawyers work on the proposal, then got lists of all costs and materiel. When it dawned on me that their wallets were bolted shut, I was seriously pissed because time (travel) and money (flights and accommodation etc) had been done by me.

I have never come across the idea “hey lets do a business together but you pay and I do nothing”. Seems common in Phils.

Am I right?

Published in Delusional Filipino, Filipino Stupidity


  1. Profile gravatar of CebuBear

    Never do business with Filipinos. I detail my experiences in my latest book ‘More Bargirls, Bini Boys & Blades’ and I go into detail in ‘Making A Living In The Philippines’. Your experience is not unique at all. I remember once watching an American, an Australian and a Filipino all talking ‘big business’. The Filipino owned the land which had a deposit of lime or something similar. The American and Aussie were long time expats who were talking about developing the mine and making millions of pesos from it. One had the truck to cart the stuff off with, the other the expertise and the people to do the digging. It all stalled because nobody had the P200 to pay for the bus fare to get to the land to do have a look and work out details. Oh how I laughed.

    I also knew an Aussie who spent years looking for a fish farm. Nothing was perfect and after several years nothing happened. He had the money and the expertise but couldn’t find a straight Filipino to deal with! Another invested big money in a bar and restaurant only to have the locals demand their cut, so he moved and found government officials less greedy…

    Then there is the Canadian who had a guest house the local police chief used for his trysts with his mistress, but refused to pay for the room. When my friend refused him a room he lost his erection and got nasty!

    I could go on but its all in my books. I do cover the business ideas I feel will work and they are still goers. Check them out.

  2. Profile gravatar of Unggoy

    Cant say how common it is but one of my wifes “cousins” is always suggesting we do business together,he cant afford cigarettes so Im not sure wat his use is to me or wat his input would be…advisor mabey?hahaha.

  3. Profile gravatar of richmess

    I suspect it is very common.

    As a teacher, I am reminded of those students who I’ve been known to say something like the following to. ‘If you put half the effort into doing your work that you put into avoiding it, you’d probably be quite successful’.

    What I mean is that I think the ‘graft’ the fiddle is their objective. To earn easy money, thorugh corruption IS the objective. Their all wandering about fairly aimlessly, hoping to run into some sort of easy money, have it fall into their laps for, as you say, doing nothing.

    My guess, is if these people had shown half an ounce of wilingness, a spoonful of gumption, you might MIGHT have got somewhere. But … that would simply be expecting too much.

  4. Profile gravatar of richmess

    I suspect it is very common.

    As a teacher, I am reminded of those students who I’ve been known to say something like the following to. ‘If you put half the effort into doing your work that you put into avoiding it, you’d probably be quite successful’.

    What I mean is that I think the ‘graft’ the fiddle is their objective. To earn easy money, thorugh corruption IS the objective. They’re all wandering about fairly aimlessly, hoping to run into some sort of easy money, have it fall into their laps for, as you say, doing nothing.

    My guess, is if these people had shown half an ounce of wilingness, a spoonful of gumption, you might MIGHT have got somewhere. But … that would simply be expecting too much.

  5. Profile gravatar of jimmy smith
    jimmy smith

    LOL at the comments. Never ever do business with a Filipino. The ones here who got business only have it because they got a monopoly. I tried too. spend money on pcs to have an internet cafe. Kids breaking more keyboards and mouses than their 5 peso pr 15 min could repay. Internet not working after 2 weeks. Power interruptions. Then there was the cinema project, got a great projector and lots of original dvds, downloaded some movies and it worked for 2 weeks, then the cinema was suddenly living area. and no movies showed. Also tried sorry sorry store and the family ate the stocks and no money to buy new unless I pured in more. Was more of a household stock for them than a store. You cannot do business in a country thats nominated the most stupid in the world. The most corrupt and self proclaimed “fun” to be in. We are the foreigners, we ARE the business. I had a guy offer me if I got a good soundsystem with drum set and electric guitars and moving head lights and all that then it could get rented out for 30 to 35k peso pr night. I saw his old system and the condition it was in, and useless guys being “operators” walking drunk, dropping stuff while smoking the 1 stick they could afford. And only because they got paid in advance from the 150 peso salary for being “operators” or destroyers as I called them. Gave the guy last time I was here some nice tools for repairs, one of the tools was an original leatherman multitool. This time when I returned I saw that multitool completely destroyed, knife, siccors and the thing where you put on bits to handle most screws were gone, stolen by the destroyers. bad coutries are bad because the people are bad. Good countries are good because the people are good. Heard about many stories of business and it always end up being the foreigner who looses.
    Saw a soap opera show some weeks ago on their propaganda tv and this board of directors were talking business, all pinoys, and one says “now that I taken over the European market its time to move to the States.” It almost killed me ! I couldnt stop laughing. They are so funny these pathetic morons. I am going home now, never coming back. Fuck them, fuck their ideas of business and fuck if I need to make 5 peso pr beer in an “out of stock” store. If I had the power then I would cut off the internet to this country, place a fleet around their islands and blokade them completely and not lift it untill they fucking clean up their filthy nation and prove that they can figure out what 45-13 is without needing a calculator. Calling them imbeciles is an insult to real imbeciles. Why there are no Pinoys in Star Trek, the science fiction serie ? Answer is obvious. Because the show takes place in the future ! saying pinoys and business in the same sentence is like saying shit and cake. the 2 have nothing to do with each other and will never come remotely close.

  6. Profile gravatar of jimmy smith
    jimmy smith

    Pinoy immigrant goes to the unemployment office asking “you have a job for me ?”
    The man behind the desk answers “yeah, would you like to work as a scientist, surgeon, accountant or architect ?”
    Pinoy says “are you kidding me ?” The desk man replies “yes, but you are the one who started.”

    Could say the same with business :
    Pinoy to the foreigner “want to do business together ?”
    Foreigner “yeah I can deposit 1 mill peso to your account” and then the rest is the same as the above joke…..

    Facepalm, time to get back and sleep. long day tomorrow at immigration. Getting the hell out of this hell.
    Muhahahahahaha, take care all !

  7. Profile gravatar of Hey Joe
    Hey Joe

    Around 3 weeks ago I noticed my internet was slower than normal, like it’s not bad enough. I guess what do you expect.. Lowest bid Chinese technology run by Pinoy’s.

    Anyway, I find out that yet another peso-net opens up down the road sucking up more of the limited bandwidth. Now 3 in this little town. It’s so small that the one and only gas station closes down.

    Then I find out that the new and very nice looking peso-net store is owned by a new in town foreigner.
    I just chuckled and said, that “they” will suck him dry in a month and the internet will be back to normal soon.
    I can hear it now….. Hey Joe..the computers “broke”.. Hey Joe, my brother can fix them for you!! Hey Joe, my brother said we need new computers, they can’t be fixed so we tossed them out…!
    Hey Joe.. sorry biz was real bad this week, no money in the resister….
    You know the drill.

    I feel sorry for the guy. I don’t know him but, I should direct him to this site to learn the truth.
    It is a real nice looking all remodeled building. It is clear he spent some cash to make it so nice.

    I give it a month.
    At least I will have my internet back again, crappy as it is.

      1. Profile gravatar of Hey Joe
        Hey Joe

        You may be right richmess. Guess it would depend on (1) how much cash he in fact has..”has/had” being the key word. Or (2) how long does it take for him to catch on to the fact he is being played like a fiddle.
        If…if he runs/watches his store like hawk..who knows, he may be okay??
        I’m not holding my breath. If all else fails the Gov leaches will swoop in for there cut.

        Time will tell.

  8. Profile gravatar of Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III
    Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III

    As a seasoned businessman with over 30 years of hands on business experience, I just can’t think of any reason why I would do business here. The conditions are intolerable – completely anti-business legislation, absolutely mindless bureaucracy, corrupt officials at every turn, an archaic banking system, rotting telecommunications infrastructure, redundant roads, rail, shipping and ports, a labor pool filled with ill-trained graduates, and an underlying culture that rewards greed and stupidity.

    I came to the Philippines to exploit the cheap labor pool, and that initially worked out for my business. As the business I am in has changed, and my need for more specific skill sets has grown, I have come to realize that the Philippines is largely unable to accommodate that need. The country pumps out graduates of such a sub-standard nature that it is all but impossible to recruit the kind of talent that my business really need – by that – I mean people who are capable of thinking for themselves and solving problems.

    Frankly, if it wasn’t for my lovely lady I’d be long gone from this filthy, corrupt, idiot-laden shithole. Why did I have to find the only Pinay in the world who doesn’t want to leave here?!

    1. Profile gravatar of

      CyberGod, they are all like that. Even if they do decide to leave eventually they will all come back here. I seen that so many times when I was in the US. I would say 90% of Filipinos are like that. It seems that is the trend – work in other country, get the money and then open a Sari Sari store once they retire.

      1. Profile gravatar of Pearl Of My Ass
        Pearl Of My Ass

        Same feeling I have here, when talking with Pinoy (in Europe), they long to go back home, to go back to this chaos and mindless frenzy… like when we were kids and have no issue running under the rain and rolling in the mud.

        1. Profile gravatar of CantFixStupid

          I find the complete opposite. My ex wife and most of her pinay friends in the U.S. only ever want to visit. They always say they never want to go back to live. My fiancee wants to stay and live in Davao City. I don’t blame her cause I even love Davao. Once I bring her to Florida… she’ll change her tune lol.. pinays seem to love FL cause it’s almost like Pinas except… not filthy, somewhat sensical people, and decent education at schools there.

          1. Profile gravatar of FAFI

            Being that Davao city is a city in PHILIPPINES, it’s still a shit-hole like everywhere else here, but compared to the other shit-holes here, it isn’t as bad as the rest.

  9. Profile gravatar of Davo
    Davo Post author

    Haha Cybergod, its a crappy position. Sure most want out.

    But maybe best not to expose her to the western world, her other good points might change. Have seen a lot that as soon as they land in good ol Oz, be fucked – they change.

    Yes the academics of most graduates are little better if better at all, than a high school graduate here.

    1. Profile gravatar of

      Oh hell yeah, 99% of them are like that. They see you as a ticket to America. Hell, when I was in the US. I knew this filipina who married a handicap because he claim that he is getting millions from malpractice. On their wedding day you can tell she was disgusted kissing him but money talks and bs walks…LOL.

  10. Profile gravatar of jimmy smith
    jimmy smith

    LOL again at some of the comments. I ceared my stuff now thanks to a friend here on this blog. Or a brother from another mother you could also say.I went to immigration to get my visa extension, monday they wanted 5060, this time they wanted 4560only and thats 2 days later. I gave them the blank stare cause I thought there was a hidden cam somewhere and I was on “look at the dumb foreigner” show. But no it was sure enough, saved 500 peso or put in another way. I paid 500 peso LESS in corruption fees. I am just waiting now to get back, back to the free world and I will be laughing hysterically once over scandinavian territory again.Not too much thogh, dont want them to think I gone crazy. Only business to do here is bad business.

    1. Profile gravatar of FAFI

      Have fun escaping your bad dream. I will be outta here in 2 years, but that seems like a long 🙁 I just hope you escape this bucket before one of these Pinoy-crabs drags you back in.

  11. Profile gravatar of

    Dude…my wife’s friend is asking me if I want to partner on a rice business as we speak. I asked her what that “meant”.

    Well…you are the primary investor so we need 30k downpayment. who are the other investors?

    *blank stare*

    So…I am the only investor??

    *blank stare* will this business work?

    We will sell rice out of the house.

    AHH..who gets the proceeds?

    We will split it 50/50

    But I invested all the money…so shouldn’t I get all the proceeds? And then just pay a small salary to someone to run the “store”

    *blank stare*

    Still wanna do this “business”?

    We can split the money 50/50


  12. Profile gravatar of TheD

    This happens all the time. They want you to be a silent investor. Hand over the capital, take the risk and when it all goes belly up, which it will because as a Kayo, you can not be in charge, you take the worst end of the shit stick and lose everything. Meanwhile they likely have tons of rice hidden away or siphoned off funds.

    The best that I see is when customers (biiiig customers) tell me that they want our services. Ok, so its 50% upfront and 50% before it goes live.

    They bitch and bitch and bitch as they want it to start straight away without paying. You bend a little and say you will start it, but they pay you 100% before it goes live. Then they threaten to sue you or kill you when you refuse to make it go live without them paying AS PER THE AGREEMENT.

    On one occasion it went live without the final 50% payment and they promptly spent 6 months making excuses as to why they hadnt paid. When I threatened to pull the plug on the service if they didnt pay the agreed final 50%, they accused me of blackmail! WHAT THE FUCK?

    Completely insane. So hard to do business with most of these people. They have no decency or understanding of basic concepts.

  13. Profile gravatar of TheD

    I hired a removal van when I moved house. They asked me if I needed an extra person to help, I agreed.
    The extra person seemed nice and promptly set about stripping my AC of all copper piping.
    I confronted the company and they refused it was their responsibility. I suggested we inform the police and they threatened me.
    The thief turned up with the pipes in hand and proclaimed “they fell off”. What are you a fucking spoon bender? How can they just fucking fall off?
    The other removal man was crying and utterly terrified as they had just hired this pedicab driver that day to help and he had a machete on him.
    I had a metal baseball bat, mine is longer motherfucker!
    He agreed to pay the cost of having the pipes replaced, but what is the fucking point? I just told him to get lost and hide if he ever saw me again.
    In what other country would this happen?