My wife really does the tampo thing very well. She is all but a master at it. Wikipedia lists all her classic behaviours except she never NEVER refuses to eat. Well maybe eat with the rest of us but going without food for one minute past what she regards as time for a meal is enough to trigger a decent into three or four days of my life wasted by her inflicting tampo on all around her. Anyway it’s Christmas again, and apparently me spending 60 hours a week at work is interfering with putting up the Christmas tree again. I try to overlook the fact that she hasn’t worked since we were married and I lower my expectations about what should be achieved by a stay at home wife but that is the easy part. The hard part is not pointing all of that out to her because I DO care and don’t want to hurt her feelings but STILL THE TAMPO AT CHRISTMAS! AGAIN!!!!! So here we are at what should be a great time of the year but instead it is up to me and ourur 6 year old daughter to side step her behaviour and do our best to conjure up some Christmas joy.
After 7 years of cajoling in an effort to coax her back to reality after she decides to press the tampo button it is time for a different approach. Just like when a child’s behaviour is unacceptable I am going to deal with it. No I am not going to smack her (although the thought has crossed my mind). I am not going to give in this time. I fully expect her to not give in either and it may well end the marriage but I can’t have one more weekend wasted by her childish behaviour.
Yeah so I am just going to carry on with or without her. If it is a nice day I am going to the beach with my kid. If my wife wants to join us then great but if she refuses to speak or join in then she can stay home without us. If I ask what she would like for dinner and don’t get an answer then I won’t worry about her dinner. I tried to discuss our daughter’s Christmas presents and got no reply so I bought them all myself. I guess she will be as surprised as my daughter when they are unwrapped but how can she complain. I tried to get her input but got the cold shoulder instead. But she will complain for sure. That will probably be the next time she speaks to me but I can’t keep looking back at wasted opportunities of relaxing time off work realising that her inflexibility and unreasonable and childish and fillogical reasoning is weighing the rest of us down.
I don’t hold out much hope but maybe, just maybe, she will see there are better ways to communicate where the other party (me) will actually have some idea what point exactly she is trying to make when she is upset or disappointed or whatever.