Cignal Satellite TV’s Corrupt Ctupid PoliCy

Anyone else here have Cignal Satellite TV? Have you ever called them to report that your service is disrupted? Well, I’m sure you have, as it’s run by idiot Filipinos. Service interruptions are a regular thing with utilities here in Philippines.

That’s all fine and dandy, and if you’ve lived here for any significant amount of time, you expect it, and live with it. Not much you can do when incompetence is culture.

But here’s another mind-boggling Filipino utterly stupid and corrupt policy; If your service is disrupted, they ask you if you would like them to send out a technician. My answer is usually, “Why are you asking me? I am not qualified to diagnose YOUR problem with YOUR service which I AM PAYING FOR. For those absolute Filipino dumb fucks to ask ME if they should send out a technician is like a doctor asking me if he should prescribe me medicine for what’s ailing me. I simply tell them, “All I know is that the service I am paying for is non-functional, and I want it fixed, and whatever you have to do to get my service which I’m paying for fixed, do it. If you feel it requires a technician to visit, fine, let’s set up an appointment and get it done.”

Cignal Digital TV Broadcast operated by idiot FilipinosBut that’s not the the main point of this article. That is just the “pre-Filipino-stupidity” before the main stupidity.

“Ok Sirrrrrrr, we’ll send a technician, but you must pay 700p for us to come out there to fix the problem. It’s called a “Professional Fee” Sir”


“If your installers were professionals to begin with, THERE WOULDN’T BE A FAILURE you utter shit-for-brains! That’s not a “professional fee”, that’s a “fuck me in the ass fee”!

Stupid corrupt Filipino CEOs

Filipino idiots (L-R) Commercial Head of SMART and Sun Cellular, Mr. Charles Lim; President and CEO of PLDT and SMART, Mr. Napoleon Nazareno; MediaScape COO and Managing Director, Ms. Annie Naval; Chairman of SMART and PLDT, Mr. Manny V. Pangilinan; Director of MediaScape and Chief Wireless Advisor of SMART, Mr. Orlando Vea; and MediaQuest President and CEO, Mr. Noel Lorenzana.

For anyone with the slightest measurable level of intelligence, I need not write any more. Because you are “WTF-ing” also.

But being that I’m so mind-boggled as to the COMPLETE ABSENCE OF LOGIC about this insane policy, I’ll continue for the sake of the dumb fuck native Filipino reader who just doesn’t get it.

Cignal TV is the one who came to my house and installed the system. I PAID THEM an installation fee, gladly. I PAY MY BILL MONTHLY for the service, gladly. What do I expect for the money I pay? I expect the service to work. I realize we don’t live in a perfect world, and technical problems arise, but THEIR TECHNICAL PROBLEMS ARE NOT MY PROBLEM. Especially when I’m paying monthly for their service!

But when their service fails, THEY WANT TO CHARGE ME EXTRA TO FIX IT?????


Needless to say, I told them to fix THEIR problem at no extra charge, or the only visit they’ll be making to my house is to uninstall their equipment. And then what do they say to that???

“There will then be an early termination fee Sirrrrrrrrrrrr”

I told them, “Fuck you, you won’t get another peso from me you senseless moron! You are in violation of COMMON-FUCKING-SENSE and I don’t owe you anything! You have 7 days to come get your dish and cable boxes out of my house. After that, it’ll be placed on the street outside my house.”

Published in Blatant Stupidiy, Corruption, Filipino Customer Service, Filipino Stupidity


  1. Profile gravatar of CebuBear

    I love it! First there is the ‘professional fee’, then the ‘early termination fee’. These guys learn quick from our own rip off utility companies and banks etc. They emulate us but fail to twig that just slavishly copying our tricks doesn’t work if they apply them in a blanket fashion and out of context. Of course, to apply them appropriately requires logic and a grasp of the absurd and how to avoid it.

    I had a phone line installed in 2002 in Bogo, along with cable TV. The ‘technician’ had a pair of pliers and a Philips screwdriver. Period. I loaned him my drill and other tools and his eyes widened when he held the battery powered Makita in his paw. What he could achieve with such magic were it his! I could see this thought above his head in a classic lightbulb… for a second then there was the usual brownout… but I digress.

    In Cebu we had a disruption to our phone service with PLDT. It took several calls, several attendences by ‘technicians’ and two visits to the local PLDT office and yes, they wanted me to pay for their screw up.

    Then there was the time I wanted to pay the bill only the office in Bogo only opened two days a month! My bill was due inbetween and they would cut off the phone (and internet) asap… so I was expected to go to Danao, 2 hours on the bus and pay there because they had no way for me to pay otherwise. I just changed provider, it was simpler in the long run.

    As for those CEOs, the telco infrastrcture is owned by the usual gang of oligarchs. The ruling 20 or so families who own everything and they have no desire or reason to improve things. They have no problems because if they have an issue everyone jumps and kow tows and crawls and mano po’s to fix it. They live in a privileged cocoon where they barely sense there is a shit hole of a sewer called Manila outside their mirror tinted, wang wang siren shrieking armoured 4WDs.

    As for the poor dong or dai you get on the phone or over the counter, go easy on them. They are not the problem, they have no authority or ability to do anything other than read off the script or follow ‘policy, sirrrrrr’. They know no different but that is not their fault. Try to have some compassion for them, if not that then try pity. I only have to imagine my kids growing up there and looking for a career in that society and I am so glad we left.

  2. Profile gravatar of JosephA

    I experienced something similar to this with Cignal. My service was down for over 2 weeks – a service I’d already paid for. I emailed the idiots and eventually received a reply telling me that they would need to send a technician to ‘assess’ the problem.

    I told them that I had already assessed the problem and I needed a new reception box because the old one was ‘burned out’. So all you need to do, you dumb idiots, is to send me a new box. Simple, right??

    Nope – a technician would have to visit and there would be a charge of 728 pesos for his (or her) time.

    Okay, well, in which case, I’ll just drop the damn Cignal box in the trash and get Sky instead. Good job Cignal!!

    Utterly stupid way to conduct business, but then, as we all say on this blog, it is the Philippines after all so what do you expect.

  3. Profile gravatar of Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III
    Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III

    I’m yet to have the displeasure of Cignal, but can’t imagine that it will be any better or worse than that other Pinoy moron-olith called Sky. Words pretty much fail me when trying to describe the kind of mindless bureaucracy, and demonstrations of borderline mental retardation which accompany EVERY encounter with Filipino utilities providers. There are just NO good stories to tell. Not one.

  4. Profile gravatar of FAFI

    When it comes down to the topic of ‘PROFESSIONALS’ in the cable business, this is my jurisdiction, since I have been a cable installer prior to coming to this shithole country. In my experience in working at Time Warner Cable, there has only been one scenario where I would charge a customer to fix a service problem, and that is only when it is a ‘Failed Self-install’ service. Some of my customers who already has the wiring and cables set up at their place of residence may opt out to have a technician like me to install their service for them, because they may be too cheap to pay the technician to install it for them, but when the customer fails to install their own internet for any reason and request for a technician to check it out, a $35 fee is charged on their account for me to look at it, we call that a ‘Failed Self-install kit.’
    But in Philippine’s instance, I never heard of a case where we are given the option to install our own cable, so they are liable to fix any fuck-ups that they have conducted during the initial installation. My cable went out at one point, but lucky for me that I am somewhat familiar with the cable sources, I was able to fix it on my own. For a tip: if you live in a condo or apartment, you are likely to experience future signal problems since your signal level will be knocked down during each installation of cable or internet by your neighbors living the same building as you. The cable business is kinda corrupted since we mainly worry about the current customer we are dealing with, which may result us to weaken the signal of existing customers. That’s just a little input I wanted to share with you all, so I’m sure it’s just as worst or much worst here. You all take care, my school starts up again 2moro and I gotta get some sleep. Gudnyt to you all.

  5. Profile gravatar of FAFI

    This has nothing to do with this topic, just need some honest feedback referring to my idiot professor at the college I am attending.

    I just realized how powerful Filogic is today during my morning exam. I almost had a perfect score, but the only question I got wrong was only wrong due to my teacher’s idiot Filogic! The question was:
    Where do you find the rank of a Commissioned Police Officer? During class discussion, she mentioned it being on the shoulder boards, and I try to avoid it being a trick question by answering with the only logical answer “Shoulder Board.” Well, according to my idiot Filipina Professor, the answer is wrong, because it should be “Shoulder.” Just as she said the rank of a non-commissioned police officer is on their sleeve. Ok, lets think logically here, if I was a Commissioned Police Officer of the Philippines (just pretend, I’m not low enough to get a job like that), and I took my shoulder boards off, where the fuck is my rank? Is it still on my shoulder, or is it on my shoulder boards where it was sewed on? So in other words, my idiot teacher is saying that the ranks of these Commissioned officers is tattooed on their shoulders right? I tried to explain it to her the way I see it, but she wasn’t buying it, Filogic rules over logic in this country any day, no matter how logically you explain it to these idiots. You can tell them that ‘SHIT’ is ‘SHIT,’ but they will still call it chocolate. Can I please get some feedback on this one? Should’ve I had gotten that question wrong? It sucks that Filogic governs on school tests too, I’m so fucked.

    Here is an image of a Commissioned PNP officer, and you can all see for yourself that the rank is embedded on the shoulder board, and not on the uniform (or body) itself.

    But if the tattoo of every PNP officer has their rank tattooed on their body under their shirt, then I rest my case. Sorry for involving my annoying and petty school life on here, but I just wanted to show how Filogic can ruin you in school too, and I’m really upset about this. Thanks for reading and allowing me to vent this out.

    1. Profile gravatar of CantFixStupid

      I think both answers would be correct, but since you know Filipinos don’t want to “seem” wrong, especially a teacher, she just couldn’t let you be right in front of the other students. Or she’s on her rag… either way, do you care? Aren’t you gonna finish your Bachelor’s in the U.S.? Just make sure they don’t screw up the transcripts for your transfer credits 🙁

      1. Profile gravatar of FAFI

        Yeah, you are right. I’m gonna finish it up in the states anyway so my degree can actually hold SOME significant value. The transcripts are guaranteed to be fucked up, so I am ensuring that I get notarized copies of each semester credit I have completed here after each semester. I demand it immediately upon completion of the course. Nothing is worst than trusting a fuckin Filipino to do things correctly, especially on the first time!

    2. Profile gravatar of Pearl Of My Ass
      Pearl Of My Ass

      to me you are correct, and she just did not want to give you full mark and did believe her (twisted) rational was as good as any -> that is being stupid and taking people for idiots… but then, can you blame her 😉 being surrounded by half-wits to be (you present company excluded of course).

      1. Profile gravatar of FAFI

        Thanks Paarl, I appreciate it. I figured my answer was acceptable, this is the same idiot Professor I’ve been preaching about for a while, the one who demands to be called a “Doctor” as her title. She is pretty hot, but still a fuckin idiot! Funny how of all times, she decides to be ‘SPECIFIC’ now when the time isn’t necessary, she could’ve gave that answer to me. But it’s whatever, I’m already acing the class, she is just tired of seeing me in the top 5 in her class every fuckin semester, that’s what it is. She probably hates the fact that her only Americano student is out-smarting all of her idiot Filipino students. That’s ok, I enjoy a challenge 🙂

    3. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
      Captain PFB Post author

      FAFI, You and I have at least the basic cognitive and logical processes going on in our minds. And the reason why virtually EVERYTHING in Philippines is so fucking ass-backwards, is because the people have little to no cognitive skills, nor the integrity or dignity to make a bit of sense when they are “one-upped”.

      I have no doubt that she has never aced an exam with a perfect score in her life. And to allow any subordinate to “one-up” her just cannot be allowed. It is obvious she intentionally rummaged through your perfectly scored exam on an intentional search and destroy mission to find SOMETHING, ANYTHING, like a disgruntled, envious child, to make sure a perfect score would be shot down.

      And once again, the Filipino practice of “making no sense at all and relying on utter filogic to become fact via words spewed from the lips no matter how ridiculous you sound” has been used here to attempt to preserve her “honor” and “superiority”. It’s self-preservation at the cost of dignity, integrity, fairness, and honesty. Being one-upped by a student just cannot be allowed.

      But don’t sweat it. You did well enough on the test to pass with flying colors. Remember, you’re dealing with people who possess the cognitive abilities of children no older than 5 or 6 years old.

      Are educational credits from a Philippine school even recognized or honored outside of Philippines? I really don’t know, that’s why I’m asking. I guess they must be, otherwise, why waste your time? It’s obvious these courses are not at all a challenge for you whatsoever.

      1. Profile gravatar of FAFI

        Those are some inspiring words, thanks. I’m pretty much aware of who I am dealing with here, but didn’t expect that type of crab-mentality to come from a teacher. Yep! I just called her a teacher and not a fuckin “Doctor,” I would love to say that in her face after graduation or voluntary withdraw from her course (if I go that route). I bet she runs the class the same way she was taught as a student, so I’m quite sure she hasn’t received any perfect scores either, yet alone probably cheated a few times, since she allows her students to cheat. The school is easy, very dummy-proof, but to supplement the easy difficulty to make it harder is the noise and the relentless commotion of classmates during class that makes it harder to concentrate and focus on the task at hand. The last thing I need is for some corrupt teacher to lower my grade at their own discretion, posing it to be an incorrect answer. I take it that my teachers may have been scolded for allowing me to pass last semester with a GPA high enough to obtain a scholarship. Scholarship = 50% discount, and nothing hurts the school worst than a foreigner get a 50% scholarship on our tuition since we end up paying more anyway. If I was the dean of a school and I lost half of a fortune because one of my foreign students got a discount, I would be pissed off too (if I had a crab-like, greedy Filipino mindset). Well with that said, I’m looking towards to be cheated of my grade in other subjects too, don’t think I will be applying for another scholarship here again 🙁

      1. Profile gravatar of FAFI

        To be honest, I have seen that too. Even mispronunciation of simple English words, and few still gets their pronouns fucked up, like calling a ‘he’ a ‘she’ and vice-verse. What such fucking idiots.

  6. Profile gravatar of jimmy smith
    jimmy smith

    Got Cignal here in Mindanao. Cable tv which has 24 channels. 3 of them preaching some crap about god. 2 supposedly pinoy news channels, Disney channel, CNN, fox movies with lots of snow, HBO which is sometimes decent transmission, but most of the time not good enough to watch. Then 2 sports channels, one with basetball and another one jumping up and down on the picture so much it gives me headache. Last one is NatGeo which is poor transmission also. the remaining channels are out of service. basically I got 3 channels worth watching sometimes. If it rains then I can forget about tv, if its windy then I can forget about it too. Everything here is bad quality, the standard of everything is so low that its pathetic to a degree which for people who never been here is unbelievable. If I was a stand up comedian then I would have so much material from this country to make 3 movies and go on a 10 year world wide show telling not jokes, but truths about this country. And the world, well some of the world would laugh alot at these jokes, if they knew it was the truth then they would be either crying or laughing even louder. One song I often hear here on their karoke bars is that one where they sing…when the children cries, let them know we tried…..That makes me laugh alot and think….when the children cries, then they got beaten with bamboo sticks by their drunk mom or dad…..And saying you tried is the same as saying you failed. But not in the PI….In the PI it means they worked hard to make it to last place, cause they cant finish 1st place or even 15th place, and who gets remembered ? the first and the last……So the pinoys got this attitude “I can do this” “Do what ?” “lose!”

  7. Profile gravatar of

    Cignal came to install my service yesterday. They showed up on a motorbike and didn’t have a ladder. Genius!

  8. Profile gravatar of
    Anne Reyes

    Hi FiloFail, I’d like to share my experience with Cignal. Since the typhoon Rammasun/Glenda, our service has been disrupted. I’ve already sent them numerous emails and called their hotline (I was only able to get through once since their lines were always busy) but until now it hasn’t been resolved. I want to terminate our contract already but they also told me that I’d have to pay the early termination fee. How did your experience go by the way?

    1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
      Captain PFB Post author

      I now have Sky Cable. I now can watch TV when it’s raining. I told Cignal I don’t have to pay them shit, because THEY are in violation of the service agreement, and unless they would like to deal with a complaint filed with the DTI and NTC, they’ll have to kiss my white pimply ass on the early termination fee. I am not paying for services NOT RENDERED. I’m terminating the service because they FAIL TO DELIVER THE SERVICE! When I moved, I left the dish and the box right where they installed it, and gave them the phone number of the owner of the house to arrange to come get their equipment. I never heard from them again.

      They are typical stupid dumb fuck Filipinos. I don’t know how any ONE SINGLE person could possibly be that brainless, but there is an entire nation of people called Philippines who actually are that brainless, and complete dumbfucks beyond anything imaginable.

      So that’s how my experience went.

  9. Profile gravatar of Jason Aquino
    Jason Aquino

    I plan on terminating my account because it does not work whenever it rains. I haven’t payed them for a year, then they send me a demand letter asking me to pay 5700 pesos. What will happen if I don’t comply to their request? Sorry if this post is considered as necro.

  10. Profile gravatar of YB

    I agree!!!! Indeed VERY CORRUPT!!!
    You want something fixed, YOU NEED TO PAY!
    If they CAN’T FIX IT!!! BUY A NEW ONE!
    You DON’T GET the SERVICE you deserve!
    NO COLLABORATION! Very POOR Customer/Tech Support!!! and one thing I learned after talking to them! “PROMISE’S ARE MEANT TO BE BROKEN!”