Conversations With My Wife And Friend

The Tantrum-Lady (@Filipino Tantrum) was too good to be true and I thoroughly enjoyed her retorts to everyone’s comments. She was calm and collected at first then slowly started to unravel in all her glory. It was what we all knew would happen because we all deal with it in our own personal lives here. She seemed to be really really upset that we were generalizing and applying our personal experiences to the entire population – which in all honestly is a fair argument. I understand her point that some people are just underprivileged and are not fortunate enough to be exposed to formal education. I also understand that some don’t realize how ignorant they are, but there is no excuse for insufferable stupidity – so this will be my primary focus. What I decided to do is create an entry that applies to ONLY my universe here by sharing the head-smacking blurbs of the simple-minded that I hear on a daily basis from my friends, family, and co-workers.  They are just too good to be true and my plan is to submit my observations to National Geographic and hopefully get paid for my hard work.  I will preface this by saying that I love my wife, love my friends, and respect my co-workers – but they unfortunately are susceptible to the well-known genetic Filipino disorder known as “insufferable-stupidity” from time to time and will be identified as follows below:

ISW –> Insufferably-Stupid Wife

ISF –> Insufferably-Stupid Friend

ISC –> Insufferably-Stupid Co-worker



Driving down the a major throughway in the metro – and after I dodged no less then five marketers handing out fliers for yet another condo complex – I turned to my wife and asked

Me: baby – do they really think that people will pull over and grab a flier? Why don’t they go to the mall with the other marketers where people would be more inclined to listen?

ISW: What do you mean?

Me: ummm…why are they standing in the middle of this busy street handing out fliers causing even more traffic by taking up the right lane?

ISW: So what is your question?

Me: NEVERMIND – what do you want for dinner tonight?

ISW: Do you want to take a shower first?

Me: Are you even IN there?

ISW: Where?

Me: Let’s just ride ok?

ISW: wait..where am I? Why did you ask me that?

Me: Ok….

SCORE –> 4/5 Headsmacks



While I was on a business trip to the US, a very good friend – living in Quezon City – that I have known for years asked me to please pick him up a PS4. He said he would pay me in Pesos upon my return and I agreed since this is something that we did often with hard to find items. I arrive back to Manila and wait for his arrival to get his PS4 and pay me back. And wait…and wait…and wait…. 2 months later he shows up – at 10pm on a weekday

Me: Hey man! Where the hell have you been? How is the family?

ISF: Im fine. My daughter is sick with dengue and we had to confine her for a few weeks. So expensive!

Me: What?! Why didn’t you call me?

ISF: I know you are busy here at work. I didn’t want to bother you

Me: So what’s up? Everything cool?

ISF: You never called to tell me you were home from US. I didn’t know you were back here already

Me: But you just said that you knew I was busy here at work – and remember we spoke before I bought your PS4? I was leaving from LA the next day..remember? I also called when I got home so that you could come and get it right?

ISF: Oh I forgot –

*** here we go ***

Me: So…are you coming for the PS4?

ISF: How much?

Me: Remember I told you it was 14k?

ISF: Oh I forgot –

Me: So….

ISF: Where is it? Can I get it now?

Me: Sure! I’ll get it…but the 14k?

ISF: So expensive! Maybe I’ll just wait for sale.

Me: ummmm…I am not a department store or distributor of PS4. You asked for this and I brought it back just for you

ISF: Will you take 10k?

Me: WHAT??!!

ISF: 11.5k?

Me: Seriously??!! Your negotiating with me? The price was 14k – per your instructions I bought it and there it is right there waiting for you

ISF: ***Blank Stare***

It is still sitting on my kitchen table almost 5 months later and he is avoiding me to this day. Never again –

SCORE: 3/5 Headsmacks



Published in Uncategorized


  1. Profile gravatar of

    >>.She seemed to be really really upset that we were generalizing and applying our personal experiences to the entire population – which in all honestly is a fair argument.

    She had no problem generalizing in order to praise filipinos.

    That conversation with the stupid wife was spot on. Looking forward to more of these.

    1. Profile gravatar of Eric
      Eric Post author

      Dude I can do this all day. She’s a good woman and I love her to death, but sometimes all I can do is just pat her on the head. Especially when she blue-screens and reboots in front of me. Observe:

      Me: baby…you won’t believe what happened today

      ISW: what is it?

      Me: I was driving home from work today stuck behind this shitcan jeep

      ISW: Ano?

      Me: This jeep

      ISW: AH…did you eat?

      Me: Pay attention

      ISW: Ok..cge

      Me: I was driving behind this jeep, and it was overpacked with passengers. There were three guys literally hanging off the back of it

      ISW: and then?

      Me: So the jeep hit a bump and two fell OFF into the street!! There was a bus that almost ran them completely over.

      ISW: and then?

      Me: Well..they got up just in time and ran to the side of the road. The bus missed them by inches. They just made it

      ISW: and then?

      Me: ummm…they just made it. they were ok..thank God right?

      ISW: ahh..and then?

      Me: *sigh*….that’s it sweetheart. That’s the end of the story

      ISW: How’s your day?

      All I can do is pat her head and chuckle at the hollow sound it makes. Classic blue-screen and reboot after she complains that my stories have too many details

      1. Profile gravatar of

        Seems they have all been to the same school… All answers start with ano… and continue with infomation based on other topics! It is worse than talking to a wall because this person answers off topic 99% of the time. Trouble is; we have to listen to them and discern if this answer is among the 1% that falls on topic, then weight the answer to determine if it makes any sense in context. Eric; so right on, made me laugh till tears flowed!

        1. Profile gravatar of Eric
          Eric Post author

          Ok…one more for you that Im sure we all can relate to:

          ISW: Are you busy?

          Me: No what’s up?

          ISW: Are you sure? You look busy. Maybe your chatting

          Me: I’m not busy and I’m not chatting…WHAT’S UP?!

          ISW: Anyway…I have question. Are you busy?

          Me: WHAT IS IT?????

          ISW: Aye…I forgot

          Me: that’s impossible…you couldn’t have forgotten that fast sweetheart. What is it?!

          ISW: It’s ok…for awhile ha? I have to poop

          Me: Seriously? How many times have I told you to just GO to the CR. You don’t have to tell me everything

          ISW: Why? I don’t keep secrets from you. Are you keeping secrets from me? Maybe you are getting tired…

          Me: WHAT?? How did this become about me? I just don’t want the nitty gritty details when you have to take a SHIT

          ISW: I think you are keeping secrets from me…maybe you have another girl somewhere. I know one day you will leave me for another girl

          Me: Jeezus….

          Sound familiar??????? Kill me now….

          1. Profile gravatar of Joe

            Eric, I totally get it regarding the head smacks with our filipinas. I too love my wife very much as you do too, but sometimes, well, it boggles the mind what they come up with, but it’s doable and I roll with it myself. It almost sounds like you were recording our conversation. I have to step back sometimes and bite my toungue and hide my expression-like when she said, she loves whiteners (even though she’s got the greatest dark skin imaginable) and she says she wishes she was a blonde. I said under my breath…”In a way you were”. She said huh? I told her “In every way you’re the bomb”. One of many recoveries on my part. I had some of those rear view pine tree air fresheners I had forgotten that I brough over. She found them and hangs them on the door knobs of the house and cuts them up and sets them all over. By the way, I bought a LARGE bottle of Listerine and have it out-not saying a word. Her breath totally stinks after a while eating those crazy little crunchy fishies and sardines, etc. No amount of showers can fix bad breath. It’s all good because she’s drop dead gorgeous and doesn’t know why I suggest she wears the lace socks I bought her every time she puts her hair in pony tails-lol. In other words-she’s worth the effort-lol.

  2. Profile gravatar of L. "Dead Man Walking" K.
    L. "Dead Man Walking" K.

    PS4 Setting.

    I know this behavior.

    If his daughter wasn’t actually sick, he tried pulling the “feel sorry for me and give me the ps4 for free” scheme.

    If his daughter was really sick, he just wanted you to buy, so he can hope to haggle you for a cheaper price especially after spending so much on medical bills, he would turn around and sell that ps4 for the price you bought it for if not more because sought after electronics such as consoles and the latest smart phones have a premium here than when buying in a 1st world country where the sales volumes are hundreds of thousands if not millions.


    hes just an idiot that forgot or really had no idea what he was asking for.

  3. Profile gravatar of FAFI

    I’m gonna call the cops on you and my wife for adultery Eric. Are you sure that wasn’t my wife? Because I can expect dumb shit like that coming out of my wife’s mouth too. I bet you 1000 pesos that my wife is more dumber and ignorant than yours. If you asked my wife to cook corn dogs, there would be a skillet of chopped up hotdogs and canned corn.

    As for the PS4 thing, if you had any prior experience with Filipinos, then shame on your to PLAN anything with a Filipino beforehand. The word “Planning” and “Early Commitment” doesn’t mean jack-shit to them. You have any idea how many Filipinos I had planned something a week ahead, and they end up forgetting the following week? I wonder the time gap of the PLAN you made with that Filipino? Months?! Hahahaha, I know better than that! Sorry for dissing your friend, but it’s a sure fact about Filipinos. I’m sure I can say the same for my Filipino friends as well, let alone my Filipina idiot wife.

    I wish it wasn’t too late for you to read snakebitbytheflip’s Pinoy Jokes article, he had named two useful resources as to why your friend couldn’t be trusted.

    – All except for 3 jokes, are actually true stories.
    – When a Filipino says, “I’ll pay you back,” he is really saying, “Fuck You!”

    This is not my article, but I just felt like bringing it up since it really did give me a laugh, and it seemed relevant towards your story. You probably are probably not a gamer, since you didn’t decide to keep it for yourself, unless you already have your own game console. I’m a XBOX guy, and I don’t feel like starting over with Playstation again. I don’t even own a PS3, so I’m totally not into PS4. I still have my PS2 though, you wanna trade? Hahahaha, stupid offer right? If you just wanna get rid of it, then how about try selling it? I’m sure you can get more than 14K with it if you tried to sell it on Craigslist or But I’m sure you are just being a good buddy holding onto it in case he does have the money and changes his mind. Good luck with that!

    XBOX all the way buddy! I love my HALO games 🙂

    1. Profile gravatar of heyjoe

      Yeah. That was a big mistake trusting a Filipino to pay you back. Whaaahahahahahahahahahaha. You should of told the guy how much it cost and then had him send the money first. Also this piece of shit that said he was your friend did not take into consideration how much time and effort it took you to buy his order plus you had to pack it and carry it back to the ungrateful asshole. Usually when a Flip ask you to bring an item or something back from the states they think it is pasalobong ( a gift ).

    2. Profile gravatar of Eric
      Eric Post author

      Agree 100%. Hindsight is always 20/20 – unfortunately thats why its called “hindsight”. If it wasnt for the fact that he has a great job and is more than capable of paying for this ps4, I would have just fucking given it to him. But the FIlipino trait of always finishing ahead or first must prevail

  4. Profile gravatar of mike-test

    Living else where and being generally detach from Filipinos for sometimes now – wife actually shows good progress. She’s telling me of the things that I used to tell her about Filipino disease before and now all I can say is “I told you so”. Im crossing my fingers that she’s 100% cured from the disease. Though I’m still worried as the disease could be genetics and might resurface in the future. I really hope it will not be passed on to our future offspring.

    1. Profile gravatar of mike-test

      Being ripped-off by a “relatives” of a “substantial” amount definitely helped her realize. And before it happened I’ve warned her over and over and over again and I actually saved us more than half of the amount by convincing her not to pay in full – while being accused of “having no trust” blahblahblah. To cut the story short – I proved myself so damn right! And now I can freely say “I WARNED YOU ABOUT IT”, “I TOLD YOU ABOUT IT”, “I WAS RIGHT”. But why I let it happened? First it was her money, secondly I took the risked hoping that she’ll learn a hard lesson or two. As an end result – it is almost impossible for Pinoys to earn her trust.

  5. Profile gravatar of JackTheBlack

    We were watching sunset on a beach with my girlfriend and when the sun “touched” the ocean I explained how ocean starts to boil because sun is so hot. And yes, she believed me. 😀

      1. Profile gravatar of JackTheBlack

        She sure is filipina and everything that is written about them in here applies to her. Well she doesn’t pee on the floor but everything else.

        She’s the kindest person I’ve ever met, but like her kind lacks common sense and the college she’s studying in wont make her genius. I still don’t understand what Java programming and crafting nipa hut from ice cream sticks, or drawing comic book (3rd grade stuff) has to do with each other, but that kind of assignments they get from their “professors”.

        1. Profile gravatar of FAFI

          Thank goodness she was a Filipina, she has a pass 🙂 I get idiot assignments like that too. I once had an assignment from my major course to create a photo album with a group of 4 idiots. It was all colorful, full of ribbons, and it was 100% non-academic and unrelated to the subject. I felt like I was back in kindergarten again. Don’t expect any college degrees from Philippines to be worth much, I will even shun down on my own degree I will inevitably obtain in the near future. My basic logic for common sense supersedes any degree you can obtain in Philippines. Fuck a degree, if your girlfriend can pass my common sense test, I will give her a ‘Certificate of Common Sense,’ she can land almost any job with that!

        2. Profile gravatar of FAFI

          For the record, my idiot Filipina wife can’t pass my common sense test. But I’m not gonna bash on your girlfriend about intelligence anymore than you do. You love her, and I refuse to be the type of guy to come between a man and his woman, regardless of their background.

          Enjoy having MORE FUN here…….NOT!

          1. Profile gravatar of JackTheBlack

            I’m quite confident that she won’t pass it, but let me try to find it (if it’s posted here) and try.

            She’s also reading this blog, so maybe she’s already preparing for the exam 😀 😉

          2. Profile gravatar of FAFI

            Wait a minute? She is reading all of this, and she hasn’t signed up for an account to start lashing out at us in defense for the pride of this nation? Wow! She has a lot of restraint. Most Filipinos/Filipinas (like Tantrum) would’ve addressed us all in denial by now. My idiot wife doesn’t read this site, plus her English comprehension is so low, she can’t barely even understand half the shit we say anyway. Plus ‘READING’ isn’t in her blood. She doesn’t possess the focus to read a complete paragraph, and comprehend it all. So I know whatever I post on here, is safe from her.

            Sometimes I briefly summarize to her what we say on here, but only material that I deem appropriate for her to understand. She knows that Philippines is an idiot nation, that’s for sure. But she hasn’t come to terms with her own idiotness yet.

            Even last night while me, her, and her younger (19 year old) sister were all talking. I made some hot wings and I said how they tasted like “Hooters.” She asked me in a high pitched voice,”Hooters? What’s the spelling? Is it H-O-T-T-E-R-S?” Then her sister jumped in and said,”No that is hotters, Hooters is double ‘O’ with one ‘T.'” At this point I wished I married her younger sister, because she was way smarter than her dumb 30 year old sister, who happens to be my idiot wife.

            Wow! WTF was I thinking marrying that bimbo 🙁

          3. Profile gravatar of JackTheBlack

            She says she agrees with many of the writings, but I’m yet to figure out if she really thinks so and if she understands what she reads. Her English is challenged, and often she misunderstands what she reads or hears.

            About marriage, in my humble opinion it doesn’t matter who you marry, it’s still a mistake 😉 🙂 😉 🙂

          4. Profile gravatar of FAFI

            Well I have still came across better options during this visit. Some who are smarter, some who are financially stable, some who are independent and can think on their own and have their own mind, some who engage in better activities than just lying on the couch watching PBO and basketball all day, and some who are educated. And she is none of that. So yeah, maybe every marriage may be a mistake, but I definitely made one of the worst possible choices.

            Supposedly she is gonna make me a little rich in a few years, and I already married her. So that pretty much are the few reasons I’m still clinging onto her. Just gotta wait and see what happens.

  6. Profile gravatar of Chicago_IceSkater

    so my mom’s cousin who works as a nanny here in the US, her mom (my mom’s aunt) died and so my mom’s cousin (ill just call her tita) wanted to fly back….well of course she doesn’t have the cash to front the airfare and my mom, bless her heart wanted to help, offered to buy the ticket using my credit card that i gave my mom where she is an authorized user. my mom has her own financial issues and this is my way of helping her, but i didn’t want her offering which is really MY help cuz it’s my name on the credit card. anyway so long story short my tita did fly back home, and she was able to pay off her debt on the card on a monthly basis (fully paid, rare for a Pinoy huh?) with interest so we’re in the clear. but what baffled me was that supposedly she has no money (i mean come on she had to mooch off my card to buy her airfare), but on Facebook i see that she is treating practically the whole clan to meals at the mall, shopping for pasalubongs and they all even flew to the province for the funeral, instead of taking the cheaper ferry. like i would understand if my tita and her own aunt (meaning the older folks) being on the plane but the cousins and nieces and the rest can hoof it in the ferry. but no she had to make PASIKAT and treat everyone on a plane ride. surely if you can do that for everyone then you can afford your own international airfare. Oh well she hasn’t borrowed any money since and I think now she knows better.

    1. Profile gravatar of heyjoe

      One thing I noticed about my Filipino family members and friends in the States is that they can not come back to the Philippines for a vacation or visit if they can’t impress the people here that they are rich. After all, they came from abroad. They must be wealthy and they have to prove it. They will spend all of their savings and go into debt just to prove to the people here that they are rich. Sobra mayabang! There is no way that they will come here and admit that they just have enough money for their airfare and expenses. They would loose face if they did that. So they go to extremes trying to make all their family and friends think they have a lot of money even if they have to borrow every dime they spend and work for the next 5 years to pay off a 1 month vacation. It’s worth it to them because everyone thinks they are mayaman. That’s all they care about. To be a show off even if they have no money at all but at the least people think that they do.

      1. Profile gravatar of FAFI

        Yeah that’s one thing I did notice about Filipino mentality. And it’s fucking stupid that they do that because they are aware of the CRAB mentality their people are unfortunately burdened with. If they see your successes (from being an OFW), they wanna drag you down and rob you of all your riches until you are as broke as they are….. back to square ONE, then they have to work abroad again to make back the money they lost during their vacation. Filipinos contradicts themselves so often, but at the same time, all their problems can be easily solved if someone SMART had ran their country for once.

        I can guaran-fuckin-tee you all that if I was president of Philippines for 1 year, Philippines would be out of 3rd world status. I can unfuck everything in this country only if their constitution allowed foreigners to be their president. But nope, they prefer Filipino idiots to gradually destroy their country. It’s weird how this world operates.

        I got a joke for ya!

        Saddam Hussein, Barrack Obama, Kim Jong Ill, and Benigno Aquino were all sent to hell for corrupting their respective countries. They were each given a chance to call home, but had to pay the devil for each minute spent talking.

        Saddam called his wife in Iraq for 5 minutes, after he got off, he paid the devil 5,889,363 Dinar (5000 USD) for his phone call.

        Obama called Michelle and his kids for 15 minutes, after he got off, he paid the devil 9,300 USD for his call.

        Kim Jon Ill called the South Korean President for 30 second call just to say,”Fuck You!” He hung up, and paid the devil 512,661 WON (500 USD) for his call.

        Benigno Aquino called ABS-CBN to deliver a 4 hour speech of Pinoy Pride to tell his people. Exhausted with words, he finally hung up. Then he asked the devil, “How much will that be?”

        The Devil Responded: “261 pesos”

        Barrack Obama: Why fuck does he get to pay Six dollars for a FOUR hour phone call, and I had to pay OVER 9000 for my 15 minute call?

        The Devil: “Philippines is already in a state of hell, therefore it’s considered as a local call.”

      2. Profile gravatar of Richard aka Dick Head
        Richard aka Dick Head

        “One thing I noticed about my Filipino family members and friends in the States is that they can not come back to the Philippines for a vacation or visit if they can’t impress the people here that they are rich.”

        Agree 101%.

  7. Profile gravatar of Eric
    Eric Post author

    I just remembered another priceless conversation I had with my wife a couple of years ago. I’ll explain what triggered it in a few…

    Some background: My wife’s grandmother was a ya-ya for some family years and years ago. Long story short she was fired because the baby DIED while in her care. I can’t remember the exact details but from what I understand it was preventable and grandma was at fault more or less. So she took off to escape revenge – and most likely prosecution – living/hiding in a southern province somewhere with a gang of her useless kids and their useless/toothless progeny.

    Fast forward to 2012 – when our daughter was about to be born:

    ISW: baby…are you busy?

    Me: No – what’s up?

    ISW: Are you sure? You look like your chatting again…how is she?

    Me: No Im not busy and no im not chatting…WTF IS IT???!!!!

    ISW: ahh ok. Can I ask you question?

    Me: Fucking Christ…

    ISW: I was thinking earlier

    Me: uh oh –

    ISW: Why do you always say that? I dont get it!

    Me: Exactly…

    ISW: anyway – I was thinking what we should after the baby is born

    Me: Uhhh…let’s feed it and change it then go from there?

    ISW: But I was thinking that I need help

    Me: Nope you’ll be fine. And besides I’ll be here after work and such

    ISW: But what about when I get tired. I dont feel safe here all the time

    Me: we live in a heavily guarded subdivision..your good I promise you

    ISW: Are you sure? You see in news all the time that people get murdered in their house

    Me: we live in a heavily guarded subdivision…your good I promise you.

    ISW: what if I request my grandmother to come and help me

    Me: Im confused…I just said that I will be here too. What do you need help with exactly

    ISW: What if Im tired? What if your tired?

    Me: Keee-riste

    ISW: My grandma could live with us and help me with the baby

    Me: Wait…the same grandma that had a baby DIE under her care????

    ISW: that’s different situation baby. Its not her grandkid…you know?

    Me: Just stop talking…I can’t do this right now, and I dont want killers in my house. LOOK! Cartoons are on


    She stopped talking and started to watch cartoons…I shit you not

      1. Profile gravatar of CantFixStupid

        I do that misdirection thing to my girl all the time. Soon as she starts babbling nonsense, i turn the tv on or put some music on that she likes. She’ll stop talking and get distracted long enough for me to continue to read my Game of Thrones or PFB 😀

        Not hard to distract childlike minds lol

        Jeezus her 54 year old mom lives with us and gets in trance mode soon as some stupid novela (soap opera), Eat Bulaga, or Showtime is on. Good thing is they take care of the babies (our newborn twins) with utmost care and loving 🙂

      2. Profile gravatar of Eric
        Eric Post author

        Al I can’t tell you how many times I have played goalie at my front door blocking Uncle Dong and his gaggle from trying to move in. It’s a game that I have become very good at playing and actually enjoy getting the snaggle-toothed grin of defeat as I out-wit them – which takes all of two seconds in most cases. You gotta have fun with it..otherwise you would blow them away and end up in a prison of Uncle Dong’s for the rest of your life

          1. Profile gravatar of Spartacus_killingus

            I too would like to know this, Magic of which you speak! Because clearly I had gone about it all wrong. lol

            Jesus, I mean, I get outsmarting them, but that’s only working so well when you get outnumbered by people who believe they live in a teledrama.

            I swear I did that once and they literally waited at my gate over night. Ahhh yeah, Laying on the guilt real thick, putting their kids out so you can see them, getting attention of passers by making me look like a jackass to the subdivision. THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND THE WORD “NO”..

            So yeah I also would like to hear your stories, if you don’t mind.

          2. Profile gravatar of heyjoe

            As Nancy Reagan use to say, just say no. I have been a victim of the leech Filipino relative also. But that was long ago. If you allow them to stay the word gets out to all the relatives and they begin to flock to your door like roaches. But if you are rude and deny them the chance to fuck over you that word also will get out on the grapevine. I never have that problem anymore. The only people that are allowed at my house are people that I want to stay in my house. All others are out of luck. They will try anything. I had one cousin in the family stand across the street and every time he saw me he would hold his kid up over his head for me to see to gain sympathy. That shit no longer works. Once they get their foot in the door it is a major pain to get rid of them. Also it’s funny how they always have enough bus fare to get to your house but never enough to get back home. I had one uncle that thought he was going to be a permanent resident. He was a carpenter. I had some carpenter work that needed to be done so I told him he could stay with free room and board if he did the work and I would pay him minimum wage while he was here. He said that he needed more money than that. I told him that’s as good as it gets. He said he was offended. Needless to say I have never seen his useless ass again. Once you let them in there will never be an end to it so you just have to put your foot down and say no.

          3. Profile gravatar of Eric
            Eric Post author

            Al and Cameron – it’s no magic at all. I just become an everlasting prick to those that look at me like a walking-ATM sucker.

            When Uncle Dong and his 7 kids come over unannounced I simply ask them why they didn’t call first. Of course he is too stupid to be embarrassed and his kids too unruly to care, so I say “Maybe next time, because we are about to run some errands”, smile and close the door. They stand there for about twenty minutes but I don’t give a shit because they don’t give a shit about me either. I felt bad maybe the first or second time…but he rarely comes around anymore so fuck it.

            This ONLY works because my wife cant stand her begging Uncle Dong’s or Aunt Imelda’s either. Her brother and sisters becoming just as worthless but anytime they ask me for money i just tell them “wala im broke.” That seems to be the universally recognized and accepted excuse here and doesn’t require any further explanation. I don’t give a shit if they don’t believe me or not, because..well fuck ’em.

            I am a nice guy and very sympathetic to people in need…but I could care less about blood sucking leeches that are not interested in bettering themselves or contributing to a healthy family environment. Each one of my wife’s siblings has blown their shot at a college education, because “they didn’t like the school”. Didn’t matter that tuition was paid in full and books were bought…each had dropped out – after multiple second chances – within two weeks of the start of school. So…fuck ’em

          4. Profile gravatar of Spartacus_killingus

            “Of course he is too stupid to be embarrassed”.. Laughed my ass off at this, so many visuals! LOL

            I’m one of those people that don’t like people not liking me. I naturally want everyone to not have a grievance against me.

            I went away from here for 6 years, joined the Army in 2006 ETS 2009, worked as a Corrections officer until I came back here in 2010. Naturally my (I dont give a fuck what you want) attitude was not what they remembered about me. LOL the over all change really scared them, and I honestly liked it.

            It is also the reason I said fuck’em and left their bullshit backstabbing, close knit hate monger, thieving, lying,fucking wastes of space family behind.

            Also you have to love their excuses for not completing school, priceless I bet. The ones I heard were, “My professor isn’t smart enough” and “I have argument with professor, I don’t want to apologize so I quit school”. Jesus man.. Pinoy Pride all day long!!

          5. Profile gravatar of Eric
            Eric Post author

            Al – another method is to use your “sick” child to your advantage. Filipinos are deathly afraid of getting sick. It’s why they scatter like roaches at the first sign of rain. I swear there are more expert street doctors here per square meter than anywhere else in the world. “ need efemenic acid for that cough” HAHAHHA

            I tell Uncle Dong and Aunt Imelda that our daughter has a nasty cough and it buys us a few days of peace. But they’ll be back..they always come back

  8. Profile gravatar of Spartacus_killingus

    I almost………ALMOST…. gave up my US citizenship because I was prepared to stay here forever. Much to the dismay of my now EX wife who I married here at the ripe old age of 20, who wanted her fucking “american dream” which she didn’t earn.(DOUBLE FACEPALM). Thank God, I woke the hell up!

    All these conversations I see here are so unbelievably spot on its uncanny. I found this thread like many other people; I saw something that pissed me off to the point I’m grinding my teeth, punching the fucking walls, and on the brink of losing all control.

    What do I do? I look up “Why are pinoys (insert any random shit here)”
    All this has really helped me to codify my feelings into a more coherent and understandable formula of emotion. Seeing others having the exact problems I have when I thought I was alone in it, is such a freaking stress relief I cant even tell you. I thought all expats were this jolly bunch of people who thought the Philippines was just the greatest thing since sliced bread, and maybe I was just an uptight little bitch who complains too much..No I know better, hehe..

    I have a GF that is one of those 1 percenters that FiloFail talks about,she doesn’t blue screen, and she doesn’t even have a Filipino accent. She doesn’t want my “monies” and she doesn’t even want to go to America. I got lucky, you should hear the shit she talks about dumb flips man, she hates there stupidity even more then Filo. lol

    I’m actually glad I came here when I was 20 and went through all this hell, because at least now at 35, I know that it would have been a fatal mistake to retire here. ( another double facepalm for thinking it.)

      1. Profile gravatar of 30-30

        to eric,
        even i would not have thought up… maybe a case of some real contagious disease would keep them away fro one day. make it sound exotic, lol

        1. Profile gravatar of Spartacus_killingus

          Just say with confidence. “My daughter has been diagnosed with “EPR syndrome” (Excessive Pinoy relative syndrome.) Even go so for as to be honest explaining in a dramatic and heart felt way that, you have to physically limit how many pinoy relatives are around at any given time.

          Then explain how its deadly and very contagious. These people believe looking someone in the eyes will make you sick, trust me they will believe it.

          If I was able to temporary convince People in the US that I was genetically immortal do to a bullshit, non existent soralosoloctis syndrome. (The joke ran for nearly a month).. Then you should totally be able to convince a pinoy the sky is falling or worse.

          But I’m with Al, really make it stick whatever it is.

    1. Profile gravatar of CantFixStupid

      I will repeat this til i’m blue in the face. Only reason to come here are for hot women, the CLEAN beaches, and mangos.

      Otherwise come back in 30 years when it MIGHT be a decent destination to retire, hopefully the population’s IQ has risen 1 or 2 points by than. If not retire in Florida or the Carribean, or some other place in the 1st World (hopefully affordable).

      1. Profile gravatar of Spartacus_killingus

        First relationship went exactly as you say. From day one, I became the resident ATM. At first I didn’t have a problem with it as I felt I was helping them enjoy some of the luxuries I also enjoyed while in the states.

        I purchased them a Ref, a microwave, washing machine, I gave her brothers allowance..( I DON’T KNOW WHY).. I even helped pay for their school and book, lol yeah they really cashed in on me. All her brothers were older than me by the way, and surprise. surprise, they are now in their 40s and still waiting for their parents to send remittance while they sit on their ass and consume and play computer games. As if that shit wasnt bad enough her prents went to america, and neded a place to live.. Guess who was expected to supply that? My mother a trucker at the time let them live in her apartment rent freaking free, for nearly two years until they got evicted. Rather than pay or help pay rent they just sent money to the phils, so their lazy ass kids can have a new TV and such.

        Then to ad insult to injury, a few years later after I ETS’ed from the Army they wanted to come live in my studio apartment in Texas. Didn’t matter if I said it had no room. They couldn’t get a job there and that as my fault also.. Fuck all that man.. I couldn’t stand it anymore.

        The only thing that ties me to that family is my daughter, and that alone. I could not deal with those people any longer, I would wind up in local prison without a doubt. I had been close to that on quit a number of occasions, until I realized I needed to let it all go and leave.

        Yeah, it was 100% my fault for coming here at 20 years old and not knowing shit about the place. Being naive as hell and assuming that no one would take advantage of me if I’m so nice. LOL… Well, welcome to the Philippines where taking advantage of foreigners is business, and business is good.

        15 years later, (I believe) I’m much wiser in my choices. This place has taken a good portion of my life and flushed it right down the toilet. Not only is it a money pit, its a soul sucking black hole. I just have to put in a few more years here and Ill retire to Wyoming or some place out far away from people where all t his will be a bad memory. So I guess Ill suck it up and move on.

        1. Profile gravatar of Eric
          Eric Post author

          Dude – I swear if you replaced your name with mine then this story would also be mine. I have said this a million times, but I am so lucky that my wife is not a blood-sucking leech like the rest of her family (save maybe her little sister). This is place is alluring when you first arrive and meet that woman of your dreams, and easy to get caught up in the scams of money-grubbing relatives. I learned quite a bit of Tagalog when I first got here and overheard one of her Aunts tell my wife (who was just my girlfriend at the time) that she and her husband came up with a story to tell me that will convince me to support them. I then watched my future-wife curse them – in Tagalog – and tell them to stay away from me. I THEN watched Auntie and Uncle actually have the audacity to get pissed at her and cut her off for not following through and exposing their plan.

          Long story short?? fuck ’em. You already know who you can trust..if you have been supporting them for more than a week, cut the umbilical and tell them to fuck themselves. If they get pissed..fuck ’em

    2. Profile gravatar of Eric
      Eric Post author

      Looks like you found a keeper. There are plenty of them around but look out for the family…they are bloodthirsty wolves in the proverbial sheep’s clothing. My wife is definitely more “local” but doesn’t have an evil bone in her body. She is not after my money and is genuinely a good person – for that I am supremely thankful. But her family are useless bags of meat that will stop at nothing to get at my money and would like nothing more than to move into our condo – and it doesn’t matter that it only has three bedrooms. We have the big three – internet, aircon, and food – and that’s all that ever matters to them. My wife tells them to fuck off with regularity but to them that only means “for the day”.

        1. Profile gravatar of 30-30

          to eric
          i would not have thought of that.
          how about upgrading it to some deadly contagous desease where all people have to stay away…. something from africa,, make up a paper from doctor,, haha
          my mil passed away , so one long lost relative from the province, came here,,, then upon leaving had to have money to go home,, and some for the sick buffalo,, she said ” your husband works overseas and has lot of money” p/s this relative was never seen for the last 20 years..
          they can only show up on your doorstep,, if they want to ”barrow” money

  9. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    in hind sight,,, us telling filipinos that the police are honest in norht america is just like telling a cajun from Louisiana about 4 feet of ice in northern canada.
    they can not fathom it. they have been raised from birth in a dishonest, thieving, corrupt country as apposed to us who have been raised in a relatively clean and safe country.
    only thing we can do is to get our wives to do the grunt work for us and protect us from the massa

  10. Profile gravatar of mumu

    I am a newbie to the Philippines culture. Well it has been a year now. I believe I have found a 1% er. Like others have posted she doesn’t have an evil her tiny 90lbs body. I am in my mid 40’s divorced for 12 years. I like to think I have become a good judge of people. I have visited her 5 times the last year. And have skyped all the other days. She has never asked me for anything other than a sack of rice for her family. Now the mother. Well you all know the type! She eyes me like a starving dog to a juicy steak. The 3 times we actually visited her family my poor girlfriend left in tears each time. Ashamed of her family and their blatant hands out towards me.

    I have made it 110% clear to my girlfriend I will not be an ATM. Will I send some money to buy rice and gas to help feed 12 kids. Of course. Will I send money for a new flat screen tv. Nope. Will I send money for auntie who needs surgery. Nope. Maybe her family will be upset they didn’t win the lottery with me but I worked to hard all my life to away to people who don’t earn it.

    On a side note I lived on a Pacific island for years. The people were just as poor and lived life very much likie Filipinos. The main difference was these people never expected a hand out. In fact as poor as they were they would feed me and refuse to take my Money. I used to have to hide it in their house then tell them later where it was so they would.accept it.

    Well I enjoy this forum and I sympathize with anyone living there. I could not do it. My girlfriend would like to stay in the Philippines (away from family) but I honestly cannot stand the place. Two weeks is my limit and then I can’t take the stupidity any longer…

    Stay strong all!!

    1. Profile gravatar of CantFixStupid

      I admit it’s not all terrible. The terrible part comes when interacting with idiotic pinoys/pinays. If you can exclude them from your daily life as much as possible, things get easier. Of course you still want your lady around, even than, unless she’s intelligent, you’ll find yourself reading and not talking to her often. 🙁

  11. Profile gravatar of mumu

    Of course it’s not all bad I am sure. Unfortunately for me I have not been outside of manila and quezon city so I have not seen the beauty of the islands. I am sure I will see some nice tourist areas in the future. The fiance is actually pretty smart for only a high school education and her sense of humor is really intelligent which I love. Funny how she is the favorite of all the relatives now that she is coming to the U.S. the hands are out in full force. But the good thing is she see’s it and is embarrassed by this culture.

    The 1% is the key!!

    1. Profile gravatar of CantFixStupid

      Yea Metro Manila is the asshole of this country, literally looks and is shit. You definitely should travel to some of the provincial areas. There are some beautiful places here, just get away from the smog nd congestion of Manila and you may find a few hidden treasures.

  12. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
    Pinay Lover

    Well, as long as she looks good it’s a plus! Thank God she sees through her parasite family. It took some time with my lady……unfortunately they are complete money morons and this took me years to handle……and I’m still presently trying to handle her moronic money handling.

    It’s funny how they think debt is free money. “It’s credit so it’s free money!”. and when they finally clue in what debt is they say “it’s just debt…every one is in debt”.

    1. Profile gravatar of CGM@BGC
      [email protected]

      Agreed, they treat money like a child treats his pocket-money : no thought and no planning and based on the theory that there’s more whenever I want it.

      Give it a couple/few years and this Country is gonna be absolutely awash with people defaulting on their carloans, homeloans, etc etc.

      They all want to live the western life and have all the good stuff and are quite happily (and stupidly) going into debt to achieve it just so they can be like the people they see on TV.

      1. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
        Pinay Lover

        ” no thought and no planning and based on the theory that there’s more whenever I want it”

        That’s a perfect quote that explains their money handling.

        My cousin told me the other day that he was standing in line at a bank and this money moron Pinay was asking for more money from them and the bank teller is like “Look, you already who lots, we can’t just give you more money!” but she couldn’t understand this.

        They have a belief that when you get to a 1st world, you are automatically rich and successful and if you can’t live up to that dream, you better rack up debt and obtain that dream! And the irony is that they didn’t earn it and it is just a DREAM until the collections comes to their door and makes it a NIGHTMARE!!