Crazy Filipina Mother

Short background on me: My father is Dutch, my mother filipina
I was born in the Philippines, relocated from a small province in Philippines to Netherlands when  I was 5 years
old. I grew up in Europe till I was 16, i was then deported back to Philippines due to me not able to cope with my
filipina mother.

My mother is a woman that has delusions of grandeur. Thinking she is a god among filipinos since she has made it out of poverty. She is the oldest of her siblings (my titos and titas) and just because of this has complete power over the whole filipino family. She decides what happens where, and what happens afterwards. I have rebelled her abusrdities from a young age and have been deemed by her as a black sheep to the family because of it.

I will give you some samples of my life where you will see her retardedness:
My mother was always ashamed of me because of my darker skin tone (something that was admired in holland tanned look). My mother would be angry if i played in the sun allowing me only to play in shadows of trees.. ?? confusing for a child.

My mother would tell me (while my dutch dad is at work) to behave “normal” when my dad would come back from work. Because he pays for the bills and puts food on the table. Normal being to shut your fucking mouth and act like a zombie.. Note that my dad and me were very close (till this date) and we talk and laugh about anything under the sun. My mom would be like a zombie playing the good housewife. cooking food and cleaning like a robot. because that is how she thought she should be towards her foreign husband.

My mother would hold filipino parties, filling our house with idiotic parties that was all really to feed her ego (look at me i have a house, i am not a maid, i have power in this household).

My mother would develop in to a monster that would hold parties continuously ever weekend as her thirst for appreciation had no ceiling of limit. she wants to be seen heard and felt as if she was rich (which we weren’t, we were regular people in europe).

All of this led to me rebelling against this tornado of a woman destroying any and everything in her way of her ever growing ego. The result was me deported to the Philippines as she told me straight to my face it would be better if you live in Philippines so I can live in peace..

So I did, I have lived in the Philippiness for over 10 years, however, I have started my own callcenter 5 years ago and employ 30 people and am living comfortable here on my own, distant from her family. She on the other hand had started to cheat on my dad with many men (which I can write plenty of storiest about, like falling in love with nigerian email scammers pretending to be in love with her.., she believed(s) it because it feeds her unending ego and desire for admiration). She is now divorced from my dad and dated a guy much younger then her and shes taking him on a world tour and trying to pretend shes rich towards her filipino family back home.

I suffered personality disorders from having a disilliusoned mother and a very neutral logical father
growing up. Suffered emotional and physical abuse from my filipina mother from age 8-etc because she is a filipina
moron and couldn’t handle me growing up smarter than her. I think I am someone you could expect when you marry a filipina and bring her to your home country. A mix of psycho and reason. Sometimes I don’t know who I am anymore being surrounded by these idiots in the Philippines. What I do know is this: Believe in who you want to be. And I for sure dont want to be like my mother.

I hope all can understand my writing, it is not my native language. I have many more scarring, disturbing stories of my filipinomother.. if people are interested


Published in Expats


  1. Profile gravatar of dutchy
    dutchy Post author

    “I think I am someone you could expect when you marry a filipina and bring her to your home country. A mix of psycho and reason.”

    What i meant with this was that if you would raise a child with your filipina wife abroad, the chances are they are experiencing a similar childhood as I did. Where there is 1 dumb lunatic parent in the filipina and a logical parent in the foreigner. I have many friends who are also half filipino and we bear the same scars from mixed race marriage involving filipinas.

  2. Profile gravatar of SpatandemOhgod

    aw, u as scarface said in the movie scarface with al pacino he said at the table you people are cockroaches you need people like me to ..(I forgot the punchline) I speak the same language though..i feel for you.

  3. Profile gravatar of TheD

    I think you hit he nail on the head with “couldn’t handle me growing up smarter than her”. That really does seem to be a huge issue.

    PM me, we can chat

  4. Profile gravatar of mother teresa
    mother teresa

    Dutchy. Your story brought tears to my eyes as I have 2 sons mothered by a psychopina. Many of the traits you experienced from your mother have been experienced by me and my sons. I believe many of these traits are rife and very much a HUGE part of Filipina culture. I call it the Imelda Marcos Syndrome where many of these women are paradeing around acting like they are rich, constantly criticizing everybody around them for nonexistant imperfections, back biting there best friends, abusing everybody around them as if they are “useless” maids, criticizing other women’s infidelity when they themselves eventually do the same, constantly being jealous about anything that hinted that maybe it might be better than what she had or could do and on and on.
    My wifes interaction with my sons was somewhat limited and she never really criticized them as they were “only boys”. Many boys in the Philippines arent expected to do much of anything. If these Filipino boys were lucky enough to have a father to guide them then maybe they might become something. Sadly in the Philippines many boys arent expected to do much of anything.
    I was always horrified at the thought of having my wife raise a daughter. I think she would have tortured her into trying to attain some unrealistic status of education, wealth and beauty while at the same time being so jealous if the daughter attained any of it.
    I cant speak for Dutchey’s mother but I can speak for my expsychopina. The driving force behind my ex’s mental state was PURE JEALOUSY. I truely think if my expsychopina saw her daughter was growing up and becoming a beautiful mestiza with a long nose, smarter than her, able to reason, interest for education, interested in becoming a business woman, interested in adapting to new cultures, looking at foriegn men not as an atm but as a true partner, being a faithful partner, treating all people with respect and not like they are useless maids, not jealous, and having bigger tits than her she just might kill herself.
    Dutchy, you dont have to worry about being like your mom. You have a grip on reality and down deep i think you have a pretty good idea of where you are headed. You are at a point in your life that you can tune your mother in as far as you want or tune her out as far as you want. Down deep I dont think your mom wanted to hurt you but it was her sickness that hurt you. You have so much more going for you than most filipinos and maybe just a little bit of that came from your momma. It’s easy for me to say but maybe you can dwell on that tiny little bit of goodness she gave you and try to forget the rest.

    1. Profile gravatar of dutchy
      dutchy Post author

      thank you for your comment, I have completely tuned out my mother in my life simply because I truly believe nothing good can come of it. I am at a point where I do not think about her and have left her behind in my life. There is one thing in your comment where I don’t agree with, regarding the “only boys” comment. I have a beautiful little sister also filipina/dutch, and in my mother’s eyes she can do no wrong. Why? Simply because my little sister is light skinned, beautiful and quiet. Perfect to show off at parties (look at what I produced!). My little sister is an introvert is a bit of a computergeek and spends most of her time reading and drawing anime. Her personality and interests are so far off what my mother is forcing her in to. She is forced by my mother in to countless pageants, literally trying to dumb down my little sister and my sister will do it because it is extremely hard to say no to my mother. It is quite sad, you see my mother doesn’t care in anyone’s interest other than her own.

      When you do say no, the reaction of my mother is so over the top, so emotional and she will literally fight you. A simple argument can blow up in 1 second where my mother is crying, fighting, snot coming out of her nose, screaming and cussing you out all at the same time. There is no middle ground of emotions for my filipina mother, it’s two extremes either emotionally high like laughing etc and emotionally low and crying fighting etc. I truly believe this counts for a large percentage of filipina women.

      1. Profile gravatar of SASSY

        You are a dumb ass bitch. You should be treated the way your mother treated you because of your no respect attitude towards your mother. You should love her the way she is because she is your mother no matter what. If i were your mother i will disown you in a second. You are a piece of shit that have no respect at all to the person who brought you into this world.

        1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
          Captain PFB

          SASSY, Why should you respect anyone that treats you like an ATM machine or disrespects you? You are obviously incapable of thinking for yourself. You are obviously brainwashed into thinking you somehow owe your mother something for bringing you into this world. Reality is, you don’t owe anyone anything for bringing you into this world. IT WAS HER OWN CHOICE TO FUCK, GET PREGNANT, AND SPIT YOU OUT OF HER PUSSY. You don’t owe your mother or father ANYTHING.

          It is the RESPONSIBILITY OF THE PARENTS to raise a child and equip him/her to become self sufficient (But as we all have seen and experienced in your country, Filipinos don’t have any concept of being responsible. Filipinos don’t know what responsibility is). They should not do so expecting something in return. In Philippines, your parents have children so they’ll hopefully have a fucking retirement. In Philippines, your parents treat you like their property, not their beloved children. In Philippines, parents brainwash their children to believe they are enslaved to them for giving them birth. That is the most horrible thing you can do to a child!! THAT IS IMMORAL!!! And that is probably why you’re all so fucking timid and utterly stupid. What incentive does a child have to develop individuality and a sense of value if he’s treated like property and a retirement plan?

          You idiot.

          But you are obviously TOO STUPID to understand that.

          1. Profile gravatar of Steve Declerck
            Steve Declerck

            I couldn’t agree more FiloFail. My idiot wife is thinking the same. Her reasoning is : “I have obligations to my family”. So actually she is obliged to take care of each and everyone of them. She is not allowed to enjoy her own life, no, she has to donate everything to them. And these bastards are not feeling any guilt of it. Her fucking mother is enjoying her retirmement plan while sucking her own daughter dry. These pinoy assholes have no clue what morality means. Anyway I don’t feel pity for my idiot wife, she’s old enough to set boundaries.

        2. Profile gravatar of Eric

          Interesting…you sound exactly like the Filipina mother that Dutchy is trying so desperately to escape. You wouldn’t happen to be…Filipina would you?? Please keep commenting…Just fascinating!

        3. Profile gravatar of Mike


          SASSY is a filipino. Can’t handle the truth and “You have to respect me no matter how much I shit on you and abuse you”. Yep, SASSY is a filipino. Sassy, sorry to hear you are filipino but I can only say “BETTER YOU THAN ME”!!!!

  5. Profile gravatar of SpatandemOhgod

    oh yeah scarface said “you need people like me, to point your f*cking finger..(punchline)haha sorry, I am very absurdly out of harmony here, but some mothers deserve the old Mafioso comparison..haha, mine does and she is from the uk. fuckin cockroach..excuse me where was I ahem..

    im sorry life, a Filipina momentarily had my balls!!!

  6. Profile gravatar of FAFI

    I’m trying to conclude which Filipinas in this world are NOT crazy? There are some, but they usually have some other mental problem. Almost every Filipina I know is crazy.

    1. Profile gravatar of dutchy
      dutchy Post author

      you can see some filipinas (who were born in PH) abroad who LOOK like they are not crazy but that is only a facade. Once they get enough confidence to finally be themselves and stop pretending they are decent human beings they release the insane that is within them. Especially when they are 40-50 and go through a midlife crisis, there is nothing worse.

      1. Profile gravatar of 30-30

        usually the crasiness starts when they get their foreign passport..
        or if they have diplomatic immunity.. JUst research sex for flights scandel.. ABSOLUTE FRIGGIN ANIMALS

  7. Profile gravatar of Sam

    I would have to agree with Mother Teresa, AYYYYYYYYY…… I’m still married to my “PSYCHOPATH PSYCHOPINA!” I’m in the same boat, I’m a foreigner married to a dum ass and I see every day what it does to my son. My son is 12 years old and he fights with her all the time, on different occasion the fighting gets do bad she’s tried to choke him. I had to lay down the law and tell her; you don’t choke my son because no one wants to listen to your dum ass, do it again and I’ll barrier my foot so far up your ass it’ll knock some since into ya at the same time kick ya ass back to the Philippines. They get long some what better now. But don’t get me wrong she’s a nice woman you wouldn’t know she was a “LOL” (I love this term) Psychopina, if you meet her. She has her moments from time to time of being a ideal wife but she still 85 to 95% crazy. But don’t worry Dutchy at lease you had a Father to kept you sane enough to do what is right, be successful, and a Blog to relive our stressssssss.

  8. Profile gravatar of Ligaya

    Sorry to hear that Dutchy. Mothers are not always perfect, even my mine is crazy as well and we don’t get along that much. I just hope you and your mom will reconcile in time, since you only have one mother in this world.

    By the way, I am a Filipina, born and raised in the Philippines and I disagree with some of the points here. Not all Filipinas born and raised in the Philippines are crazy and stupid. There are some, yes.(eg.women who raised themselves from poverty by marrying a rich foreigner). But for women who are actually educated, exposed to other cultures and who have logical thoughts, they can actually raise their kids to be the best that they can be, without being controlling/dumb/illogical etc.

    On the other hand, I can’t deny from the truth either. a lot of points you raised guys are true and sometimes I am ashamed to have these traits associated with being a Filipino 🙁

  9. Profile gravatar of vinzz

    Hi i read this post written a long time ago but it’s really interesting for me.
    your experience decribed here is like a gold mine for me, as father of 2 mixed kids with a filippina who may looks like your mother.
    A wife obsessed by her look, who is still pretty at 35 , becoming depressed with age and who’s not able to understand there something else than beauty of a person in life..
    For exemple yesterday we listen a song of metallica with my son & told her the guitarist (kirk hammet) was half filippino. her dumb reply was the guy may be goodlooking to success in rock scene… dont even understand this guy is guitar genius& that’s why he was here but im out of the topic now.

    With my son it looks more easy to point out the stupidity of her mother , at 6 years old he’s passionated with sports (bicycle, ski, swimming, optimistsailing ) & have the spirit to provide efforts & full of curiosity & he’ s allready able to reply back to the stupidity & the laziness of of her mother.But i am troubled with this situation of conflict : he allways struggle against his mother to do something cause for her it’s allways too hot, too cold, too this…. & allways stay on a fucking sofa…

    My big worry is about my little girl who spent too many time with her when i am at work.
    Her mother is obsessed by her beauty, the white color of her skin & im really affraid she will end as stupid as her mother.
    My only hope is she will start school soon, & she enjoy going out with her brother & me.
    I just hope she will be fond of sport&nature with us to be separated from this moron spirit.

    My fear is the future of these kids only depend on myself & my health. & if something bad happen to me it will be really hard time for their youth &their education.

    Hope i can read some of your other posts 1 day

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike

      This is my second pinay wife. By the first I have a daughter and my daughter talks about the filipino mindset of her mother all the time. Yes her mother is hung up on her looks, always telling my daughter she’s lucky to have a beautiful and sexy mother. By the way, the mother is 51 now and I would say about 150 to 170 at 5′ 1″. Now how bad is it? Current wife same height as first and weighs about 140 and tells everyone that my ex wife is fat. Try to figure that one out. Filipinos never met a mirror or camera they did not like. Might I suggest you pull up an article written by a member called Beavis. I cannot recall the title but it deals with Narcissism.

      1. Profile gravatar of Sarah

        170 lbs or kilos Mikey?? Even at lbs, that’s a fatso!! holly hell!! But that is what happens with Pinays when they get to middle aged, give them enough food they get fat because very, very few exercise! There’s tons of them here in Australia, short and dumpy , they looked like walking barrels with arms and legs. When they don’t get fat, they don’t look after themselves either. They looked dowdy and worn out. Hard to believe that they were so obsessed with their looks when they were young, and like most things in the Philippines, they don’t take care of it, they don’t take care of themselves.

        Yes Mike, the Pinays are so obsessed with their looks, they’d put make up on anywhere, anytime. Try going into a female toilets anywhere in the RP. You can’t wash your hands because the narcissistic little bitches hogs the area where the taps were, preening themselves. And majority wear white make-ups (looking like a clown) while the rest of their bodies are brown!

        But then, what can you expect from these women? They are taught from a very young age that their bodies are their capital. Shame they don’t take care of it once the rich Kano is in the bag.

        1. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
          Don Quixote

          Sarah, What is it about WHITE ARMPITS that they have to have.
          I noted that in Beauty Parlors whilst waiting.
          They all Have this treatment, so It must be IMPORTANT

          1. Profile gravatar of Sarah

            Well Don, you know that these Filipinos, the females especially are obsessed with their looks, and on becoming white. Yes, I’ve seen the armpits whitening ads in the salons. Being brown skinned, naturally there are certain parts of their bodies that are darker than their arms or shoulders for example. These are the armpits, the groin and the back of their asses. So they advertised whitening services for the armpits but not for the groins and back of their asses?? Don’t make sense to me. Another crazy Filipina illogic!

          2. Profile gravatar of FHPS

            yea the adverts on tv showing WHITE filipinos is corrupting their minds
            glutathione injections
            glutathione soaps, creams etc

            but worse…its spreading to males!!
            theres a whitening soap
            and they are saying
            “tired of the dark haggard look use … for a whiter, brighter look”
            as if that is bad — and being a darker skinned filipino is bad.

          1. Profile gravatar of Mike

            170 is the ex wife. After we separated she went on a fuck fuck spree one might say. Well in late 2004 she showed up for our first apo and my mother upon seeing her asked me if she was pregnant! No this wife is not 170 but under that. But make no mistake she is trying for it! THANK GOD FOR SEPARATE BEDROOMS, GOD’S GIFT TO MAN.
            But in all fairness to this wife she does have big (.) (.) even if I don’t see them much and she was thin. HUMMMMM,,,,,, I wonder why she worries about these sexy pinays coming around.

    2. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
      Don Quixote

      If you have to suffer their TV enogh you will see why the bride couldn’t understand that Kirk is a guitar genius.
      It doesn’t enter their brains, that some one can succeed in life without good looks.
      Can you imagine Albert Einstein if he had be born in the PI becoming who he became.
      It would never happen. NOT PRETTY ENOUGH. Steven Hawking ?????????
      Are you sick and tired of Celebrity and their lives watched so passionately by the flips. WHO FUCKING CARES!!!
      They would not be celebrity unless they were beautiful.
      I heard a new one from the child bride yesterday, on Karen Davilla the thinking mans sex symbol.
      Oh she was SO Beautiful when she was young.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      Who Fucking Cares, at least she has a news program that I can watch,
      Unless she falls down on news and has on a Celebrity.

  10. Profile gravatar of vinzz

    Thank you mike
    You give me hope when you describe the spirit of your daughter.After all i know some mixed girl in France who allways talks about the mindset of their mothers too and success brightly, but on a other hand i know some who really screwed their future with this family pressure ( for exemple still dreaming to be a pop star at 20 years old without artistic background, or pregnant at 18 without job nor Professional training, that is really rare in France.
    I will read the article you sugest to me

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike

      My daughter was born and raised in the states and came here only once. My advice is to expose your kids to more Westerners as much as possible. They will hear them express themselves, think for themselves and will learn and question what they see in filipino culture.