Debit Cards And Dumb Fucks

Ah yes, the convenience of not needing to carry much cash is certainly a convenience that would be useful in the land of dumbfucks, Philippines. But the fact that Philippines is populated with dipshit imbeciles who are uniformed, untrained, and just plain fucking stupid, you need to carry much cash.

It’s most likely most of you have a Visa or Mastercard debit card that acts like a credit card. You know how it works, I know how it works, but try to use it at most POS terminals, and the Pinoy idiot will see “Debit Card” on your card and tell you, “Sorry Sir, our machine won’t work with debit card. Credit card only.”

Well that’s when I tell them to look at the Mastercard logo. That means this debit card works exactly like a credit card, so swipe the fucking thing so I can get out of here. “No sir, it won’t work.”

Well isn’t that just like a dumb fuckin’ Filipino, to be uninformed, untrained, and unwilling to serve the customer. Maybe it’s because of the fact that way back 20-something years ago when debit cards first came out, they were not associated with major credit cards like Visa and Mastercard, and you couldn’t use them like credit cards. And as fucking lazy in every way that Filipinos are, they just didn’t bother over the past 20+ years to tell their employees who process customer transactions that debit cards displaying the Visa or Mastercard logo can work just like credit cards. Either way, they’re fucking morons for not yet understanding this. Anyway, I tell them, “If it won’t work, what harm can it do to swipe it and try it? Worst that could happen is the transaction will be denied. SO FUCKING SWIPE IT!!”


“HEY DUMBFUCK, don’t you fucking know that any debit card displaying the Visa or Mastercard logo is the exact same thing as a credit card? Only difference is that the money comes out of my account.” Why doesn’t anyone in this land of complete idiots know this??? I ask for the manager, and if by chance there is actually a manager on duty (you’ll often find when a customer asks to speak with a manager, they’re often “in Manila” or “on vacation” or some other idiotic reason for not being there. But no matter, “So then who’s in charge here???” Momentary blank stare….”nobody sir.” Yes, and most businesses operate so poorly and stupidly and incompetently BECAUSE OF THIS. Quite frankly, managers are just as dumb-fucked as those below them. They are just a decoration. They are just idiots with a manager title. They have very little to no real decision making power anyway. They can’t think, they can’t keep proper stock, they are no less an idiot that those they hire. Decision-making power is always hoarded by the head idiot in Manila. So any decisions, even simple ones must wait days, even weeks, before the head dumb-fuck in Manila can get to it.

I swear to gawd, this happens EVERY SINGLE TIME I try to use my Mastercard Debit Card. When will someone train their employees in this utterly stupid country of ignorance? Even BDO employees don’t know this!!

Fucking imbeciles.

Published in Filipino Customer Service, Filipino Stupidity


  1. Profile gravatar of CebuBear

    Happened to me last May. I quickly twigged and went into Bong Tree Mode, as I call it. I told Dong or Dai it was a mis-print and the word was spelt incorrectly, it’s ok to use and every time they accepted the bullshit and swiped and voila!

    Bong Tree mode is how you survive there. A bloke called Ogden Nash wrote a ‘nonesense poem’ (aptly named)called ‘The Owl and the Pussycat’. He had to be writing about a mixed race marriage where they go to live in the Philippines. I’ll post about it and you’ll see my reasoning is sound… well as sound as it needs to be for the Pilipeens! Hahahaha

  2. Profile gravatar of FAFI

    As little trust I have for this country of complete idiots, I never ONCE used my debit card to process any transactions, being that it is also my main method of withdrawing money. I strictly use CREDIT CARD only if I need to use a card transaction. That way, if my credit card gets compromised for any reason, I can deal with it since there is a credit limit, but once somebody steals my debit card information, I am somewhat screwed since they have access to my account where I keep my real money. There is no telling if your credit card information is being shared to 3rd parties in this country. Many of you are already aware of the many money laundering scams in this country, no way in hell will I give them a chance to access my bank account. Even if compromised, what course of action will the local law enforcement here do for you? Absolutely NOTHING! You are at a loss. There is no insurance in this country for dishonesty, incompetence, carelessness, and irresponsibility. Once you are fucked, it’s game over! If it wasn’t for my paranoid distrust for the Filipinos, I would’ve gone insane by now due to the high amounts of scandalous operations that targets foreigners. The less I trust them, the better off I am. 🙂

    1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
      Captain PFB Post author

      Well FAFI, I have been using a Mastercard protected debit card in this country for 7 years without an issue that wasn’t able to be corrected via Mastercard and bank protection.

      When you have a debit card with the Mastercard or Visa logo on it, you get the same international protections against fraud as you do a normal credit card. That’s what I mean when I say it works exactly like a credit card. Not only on the processing end, but protections as well.

      7 years of using them, I’ve never had any fraud issues. A couple minor issues in 7 years, yes. But those were corrected through the issuing bank itself.

      When using my Mastercard debit card, I never use it in POS debit mode. I always use it like credit card, requiring my signature.

  3. Profile gravatar of

    Funny shit. Same issue happens to me on almost a daily basis – sometimes at the same store – most times with the same cashier. It’s as if they can’t see the Mastercard/Visa logo in the corner.

  4. Profile gravatar of Mynaaa


    Try cover the word that said “Debit” with color matching tape or something?

    I don’t know if I want to have debit card or not. I only have credit card and still new at it.
    FYI, I’m young person not residing in the PH yet. Ethnic filipino but not born in there.

  5. Profile gravatar of jimmy smith
    jimmy smith

    Yeah was my problem too. You need to have alot of cash, and having 1000 dollars as hidden emergency money is a must. Last time I didnt have, the other times I been there except the first I didnt and got in trouble due to my debit master card not being accepted. The atms can also take the card telling you its been reported missing or stolen, even you never reported a god damn thing. Total failures and complete idiots. Just like filofail says, only with a title. Still a total retard.

  6. Profile gravatar of Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III
    Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III

    Using Visa and MasterCard debit cards – just one of many otherwise innocuous activities that I’ve simply given up on in the Philippines. I just can’t be bothered even arguing the toss with these numb-skulls on this issue, any more. One of my highest priorities each day is simply to avoid as much as possible all contact with Pinoys. I find that my day goes far better when I succeed with that single objective.

    1. Profile gravatar of FAFI

      I absolutely agree! The less I correspond or associate with Filipinos, the better my day gets. Being that I go to school here and have to be around them for about 7 hours a day, you can just IMAGINE how fucked up my day gets. I’m halfway insane already!

        1. Profile gravatar of CantFixStupid

          I couldn’t do it either, I really want to know how it is you go to school with these guys and don’t rip their faces off everyday. Especially after they’ve just said the stupidest shit you’ve ever heard in your life… every new day. LOL, how do you do it?!?!

          1. Profile gravatar of FAFI

            I often wear earplugs during some of my classes when class is not in session, and I drink beer on my break time which helps put me in the “I don’t give a fuck” mode so I don’t stress out so easily. I’m currently under stress medication after suffering a severe headache last week. Damn this place to hell…. FML

    2. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
      Captain PFB Post author

      All the reason I rented a nice big house as remote as I could be from the population and noise. I avoid going out as much as possible. But of course we all have to go out now and then. And I really hate it.

      I resort to using the Debit cards, because it’s a trade-off. Spend half my day at the bank where the simplest of transactions still take 15 minute per customer while they fumble around with carbon paper, ledgers, multiple little slips they have to fill out, even one for when they scratch their ass. Damn surprised they don’t have to go get each slip notarized too.


      I have gotten it down to where I can convince the idiot with the intelligence of a paper clip who’s telling me their machine won’t take debit cards to swipe my card in about 5 minutes or less. That’s much easier than spending half my day once or twice a month standing in line at a bank among nose picking morons who have absolutely no awareness of time, and just stand and wait with ZERO expression.

      Such brainless turds.

  7. Profile gravatar of crosstown

    I went through this managerial trip more than a few times before. Same old BS line, boss is in Manila, bla, bla, etc. And I do savor getting hold of “the supervisor”. It’s ALWAYS someone with about a Jr.High level of knowledge,and minus the basic job intelligence. Really fascinating to observe the dumb look on their faces, when you tell them that they basically don’t know what the fuxk they are doing! Yet another Philippine given, Endemic Stupidity. TOP DOWN!

  8. Profile gravatar of

    I can’t believe that there’s a website just for Filipino ignorance ROFLMAO! Just bumped in I find most of the articles here very entertaining and darn right true! I can’t help my self posting a comment in this article since I had a similar experience. We were planning of watching The Hobbit Desolation of Smaug and I was excited on what would Smaug would look like. I’m a Tolkien fan so It was like holding my first hunting rifle or my first hunting trip with my old man. But NO! THIS DUMBASS HAD TO RUIN IT! We were on time excited and ready to watch and relax and ladyluck was with us since we’re the first in line. Buddy of mine paid first then after that asked the FILIPINA BTCH if they accept debit or credit, she says yes. 15 mins before movie starts , gave her my card bitch looks at the card. Then she looks at me with an odd face saying that they dont accept foreign credit cards. I said thats a WF debit card. Looks at it again then says WE ONLY ACCEPT MAJOR CREDIT CARDS! I was like WTF ! I was thinking that is it me or is there something wrong with this woman. I looked at her side and at the back of the desk there are like 5 or 7 card swiping machines. I was calm and i only have 15 mins left. I educated her that this card has a VISA logo and I used that card for shopping and my BOA CREDIT CARD WITH THOSE SIMILAR MACHINES. She ignored my explanation with a blank face and i was like not even there. I was about to fucking bitch slap her and ask for the manager so I just fucking ignored her grabbed my card had to fuckingngo down and look for atm machine that would cost me extra $5 like 200pesos and fuckking rushed back and fall in line again. I was running out of time and i dont want to be laate and miss some first few scenes. When i was backb their were like 7 in line. Good thing my friend was proactive and went back in line for me. Good thing we were not late and gotbthem fucking seats! It costed me extra and miserably had to pay !!!!! it was tough looking for working atms here in this countryb and i had to fall in line waitingbfor 3 dumbfucks! The bitch should have told me before that SHE only accepts credit cards that shes familiar with so my effort and time was not wasted! She even mentioned that if she swipes my card it will fall back intobthe system and they will be charged WTF MAN. This was in ROBINSONS GALLERIA FUCKERS!

  9. Profile gravatar of TheD

    I had no idea they accepted ATM cards with NO LOGOS as payment methods. I was like “say what?”

    The Philippines… for everything else there is mastercard!