Dining In Philippines

Dining in Philippines is like being treated like a child.Do you remember when you were about 5 years old, and how mom and dad used to dole out how much of anything you could get at any given time? Remember when you were only allowed to have a little bit at a time, because when you were a child, you used to want much more than you would eat or use?

table condiments

You will almost NEVER see a restaurant table like this in the land of utter stupidity which is Philippines.

Well, dining in Philippines is sort of like re-living the days of childhood. You will seldom find any condiments on the table. Go anywhere else in the world and you’ll have all the common condiments at the table, containers well filled and plenty of everything you need while you enjoy a meal. But not in Philippines! Not even the most commonly used condiments. Why? Because Filipinos feel the need to be like the parents, while at the same time, they are so incredibly childish if they are the ones dining. The reason why they don’t put condiments on the tables is because, just like themselves, they know people will empty the containers into something they bring with them to take home. The restaurant owners and workers know this, because they know it’s what they do themselves. Therefore, condiments are doled out in small portions, just like mom and dad did when you were 5 years old.

Stealing condiments while dining in philippines

They are not mature enough to use just what they need while dining. They think that if it’s there, it’s for the taking. What a bunch of stupid idiots. So that’s why when you need soy sauce, they dole it out to you in little saucers….just enough to get by. Forget about ever finding salt and pepper on the tables. And if you request some, it will usually come in a small container, just enough doled out, and you have to use your fingers to pinch it onto your food. What a bunch of dumb fucks. A restaurant without salt shakers is just like a Filipino with a brain…it’s rare!!

Tiny Thin Table Napkins In Philippines

This is a rare case of condiment provision in a restaurant in Philippines. But notice the skimpy thin little napkins. They crumble and tear the moment you use them! Filipinos are idiots!

Now lets talk about table napkins. They are usually doled out as well, 1 tiny thin little rectangle about 2 inches wide by 3 inches tall, and they are usually so thin and so small that with the first wipe it dissolves in your fingers, and you are quickly requesting more. They are essentially USELESS!

What the dumb-as-fuck Filipinos don’t realize is, that it’s just a fucking customer inconvenience (which shit-for-brains Filipinos are experts at) to make the customer have to use 10 tiny little tissues that fall apart in 1 wipe instead of providing 1 or 2 larger, thicker quality napkins that can be used throughout the meal. What you end up with is a table full of 50 or 60 tiny little wadded up balls of tissue all over the table, instead of a few larger, better quality napkins being used throughout the meal. Again, Filipinos are complete imbeciles.

Moving on to the meal. Let’s say you order a couple appetizers, some main courses, a few side dishes…maybe a salad or two. Here’s the stupidity; some places the food will start coming out right away (which tells me it wasn’t prepared to order, and by the taste, tempurature, and texture, it’s obviously been sitting in some kind of warming device for who knows how many hours. And what comes first? The main courses. 5 or 10 minutes later, then you’ll get the appetizers, and at some point in between, your salad will show up, if not the last thing brought out. Again, what a bunch of stupid fucking morons Filipinos are.

Stupid Filipino Waiter

“I hope you enjoyed your side dishes. Now here’s your delicious main course sir, enjoy! I’ll be back in about 10 minutes or so with your appetizers and salad.”

Anyone with even a measurable level of intelligence knows that APPETIZERS AND SALADS COME FIRST!!

But Filipinos are too fucking stupid and lazy to learn how to time out an order and know what comes first. Filipinos are too fucking childish and immature and completely dishonest to know that the condiments are for use during your meal, not to take home. Idiots.

When I go to a restaurant, I’m a grown man. I don’t need people to dole out condiments in the tiniest of portions to me. I’m not a fucking child. Maybe the rest of you Filo idiots are, but I’m not. So learn to use only what you need, and leave some for the next customer you stupid fucking imbeciles! Might also help to learn what an appetizer is if you’re going to run a restaurant. Fuckin’ idiots.

Published in Blatant Stupidiy, Dining, Filipino Customer Service, Filipino Stupidity


  1. Profile gravatar of Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III
    Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III

    You forgot to mention the process of ordering your meal. Anywhere else, you can just kind of blurt out your order and be reasonably assured of getting what you ordered. Not in the Philippines. If you want the bacon and egg breakfast, with crispy bacon, fried eggs, brown toast and black coffee, you’ll have to order it like this if to want anything resembling what you require;
    Retarded fucking Pinay waitress (RFPW): Sir, my name is Sweetielips-fucking-Retardo-Gomez-Manzano. I’ll be your waitress today. Can I take your order?
    YOU: I’d like like the bacon and eggs breakfast. Crispy bacon, fried eggs, brown toast and black brewed coffee.
    RFPW: Bacon. Is that crispy bacon Sir?
    YOU: Yes, with fried eggs, brown toast and black, brewed coffee?
    RFPW: How would you like your eggs, Sir?
    YOU: I just said, fried.
    RFPW: Yes Sir. And your bread; would you like white or brown.
    YOU: I fucking told you already. Brown.
    RFPW: Sir, would you like that toasted?
    YOU: Yes. I already told you! Just bring me my fucking breakfast!!!
    RFPW: Your coffee Sir; brewed or instant?
    YOU: Fuck me! How many fucking times do we have to go through this this. I fucking told you – black, brewed coffee!!!
    RFPW: Would you like milk with that Sir?
    And so it goes on. Even after all of this shot two things are absolutely bound to happen;
    1. When the RFPW reads back your order it will invariably be wrong, and you’ll have to start the whole fucking process all over again; and
    2. You will get the wrong staff served at your table – every time – guaranteed.
    Sweetielips is a fucking idiot. So isd the chef. So is the manager. So is everybody else who works in the restaurant. So is everybody else she knows. She only knows how to be a fucking idiot. You can expect no better.

    1. Profile gravatar of

      Dude I literally almost choked on Pepsi when reading this – so damn true and funny. I was at a restaurant with friends last weekend and have a classic experience to share. 6 of us order dinner…5 dishes served within 3-5 minutes of each other (not too shabby considering..). The 6th dish doesn’t come for a bit so we inquire and it goes something like this –

      Me: * raises hand signaling in need of assistance *
      RFPW: Yes Sir?
      Me: Uh yeah, we are waiting on the baked lasagna? You just left here like 5 mins ago and said you would check. Any idea how much longer?
      RFPW: For a while Sir
      Me: Ok..please hurry because we are all almost done here
      RFPW: Yes Sir…I’ll just follow up with the kitchen sir
      — another 5 mins passes and she returns with a menu —
      RFPW: Ah yes Sir…unfortunately the Lasagna is not available at this time. Can you please choose another order?
      Me: Seriously? why didn’t you tell us that 20 mins ago?
      RFPW: Ah yes Sir…unfortunately the lasagna is out of stock
      Me: I understand that…but why didnt you tell us that 20 mins ago?
      RFPW: Sir the kitchen staff just inform me that the baked lasagna is unfortunately out of stock at this time
      Me: Check please!
      — 5 mins passes and shit-for-brains-manager comes —
      Manager: Yes sir…we are so sorry for this. Unfortunately the baked lasagna is out of stock. Can we prepare something else for you instead?
      Me: yes…the check. thank you!
      Manager: — blank stare —

      So the check comes…do you think the lasagna was on there? Two choices (Yes/YES) – How long do you think it took them to get that sorted out?

      1. Profile gravatar of CantFixStupid

        This happens ALL the time. If you order something and it’s never brought out, just check the bill before paying. They are too dishonest to take items off the bill and love to pad anything they can, namely their own pockets…

      2. Profile gravatar of JoeyG

        Ah yes, this one is so true. You know why? And this is not an excuse. It’s because of those shit head restaurant owners (Filipinos as well) who think they can get by with having their places so badly understaffed and so badly equipped. They think they can make do with 2 severely underpaid waiters serving 100 customers at a time. Do you know waiters only get paid the equivalent of US$10 a day in the Philippines? And yes, that is right, A DAY, not an hour. Good thing they make a bit more on tips, right? NOPE! Filipinos only tip them maybe the equivalent of 50 US cents, regardless of the size of the order. My Filipino “friends” laugh at me when they now see me tipping the same amount I would in a US restaurant whenever I am in Manila. I tell them that if I expect quality service, I should pay for it. You know what my “friends” used to do? If, say, I leave a couple of hundred peso bills on the table for the wait staff after we’ve been served food worth 2,000 pesos, my Filipino “friends” would steal them both back and quickly replace them with A 50-PESO BILL. So now what I do when I dine with them is to actually wait for these guys to head out AHEAD OF ME so I can leave behind a decent tip for the wait staff. This way, the staff remember me, treat me so much better the next time I am around, and actually pay attention to me when I tell them what I want to eat.

        So next time you dine out in the Philippines, do show the wait staff that you are willing to spend money unlike their Filipino customers. Now be a bit patient as they ask you to repeat your orders a bit because with the amount of money you’ll spend on them, the wait staff does want to try to get things right. You do have to remember, in the Philippines, it’s you guys (Yes, you, the white or the black guy) that HAVE THE ACCENT, not the severely underpaid Pinoy wait staff.

    2. Profile gravatar of Mike


      I have seen them do that with the tip. My wife even done it once and asked me why so much. Well if it’s good service and good food then they deserve a good tip. I did eat at a very good place, service was good, food good and it was clean. So wife ask for the bill and then paid but done the tip different. She put it in the hand of the waiter and told him good job. She even tipped a Western amount. But if you’ll check you’ll find waiters and waitresses do not make minimum wage in the states. It starts out at about $2 an hour but most of their pay comes from tips.

      1. Profile gravatar of JoeyG

        $2 an hour, that’s still 60% more than what the Pinoy waiters make a day on just pay. Plus, we do tip better here in the US, twice the amount of the sales tax. In Manila, waiters are lucky to get even just the same amount as the tax.

      2. Profile gravatar of JoeyG

        By the way, putting the tip in the hands of the waiter in the Philippines means that it is all his. Putting the tip with the check means it is meant to be shared with everybody working in the restaurant. I think the wait staff gets 60%, the kitchen staff gets 40%. Management gets nothing.

      3. Profile gravatar of Mike


        It might be 60% more as you claim except for one thing. The cost of living in the states is much higher that in the philippines. Besides, you think if the tip was left in the folder the waiter would tell the others about it in this country? Highly doubtful.

      4. Profile gravatar of JoeyG

        There’s usually a tip box right next to the cashier. So when the check gets paid and the restaurant’s copy of the receipt gets returned to the cashier, he/she actually checks the folder for tips and puts them all in the box. If there’s nothing in the folder, they ask the waiter, who then has to show the cashier tip coming out of his/her pocket. Tipping the wait staff personally does not happen frequently in Manila (maybe one in ten customers do it).

        At the end of the day, the night manager counts them all in front of everybody and splits them accordingly.

        How do they check that everything’s being done right? My guess is they go by the law of averages. They know weekends are busier than weeknights, holidays may be either too busy or too slow (depending on which holiday it is), and that there are peak hours during each day and night. If the amount of tip is out of the ordinary, it has to be explained somehow.

      5. Profile gravatar of Mike


        Anyplace we eat they bring the bill to the table in a folder. I don’t recall seeing a tip box by the register. Will have to look closer next time. You said that you put 1 100 pesos notes on table here but friends would pick it up and put down a 50. Have you seen them do that in the states?

  2. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
    Captain PFB Post author

    Yep, that’s pretty much how it goes here in Philippines. Just a nation of people dumbfucking all over themselves. I am talking complete and utter imbeciles. They don’t listen, they don’t process what you say, they are just permanently dumb as fuck. It’s mind-blowing.

    I honestly am beginning to believe they are not quite human. I cannot believe any human mind can be that god damned mother fucking STUPID!!!

    1. Profile gravatar of montreal_dude

      Hi sir. I found this internet site yesterday and I was so happy to finally find a website where we can hear THE TRUTH about what’s going on in the Philippines. I really blame the medias in general for letting people who never been in the Philippines so misinformed about the mentality there. I only went there once. It was in 2007. I stayed there 7 weeks. And I sware that at the end of a day I wasn`t able to sleep. My mind was too disturbed by all the shit I could see in a single day. I have too much to tell. And it sucks cuz now I need to get prepared to go to work. But I toke a lot of pictures of ‘filipineries’ that I saw there and I wish to make some articles about them. Can you please tell me how to make an article? I searched yesterday but haven`t found how. Thanks and try to have some good time in this hole of shit of the Philippines where people fix problems with smiles and prayers.

  3. Profile gravatar of mike-test


    and yes i think failipinos are sub-humans. or…. i think failipinos decidedly that its better for them to have emotion than to have brain. so as you can see (evidently) they are fucking brown emotion fucking machines. they churn emotions like the ocean churns waves.. they really dig intense emotional telenobelas, in which a normal person find it tooooo exhausting (that’s if you manage to watch it even for 1min).

  4. Profile gravatar of mike-test

    Every election failipinos again and again prove to the world on how stupid they are. The word stupid doesn’t even do justice anymore and neither retardation. Failipino stupidity is really a sub-human intelligent. I think it is insulting to the Orca killer whales if we are to compare pinoy thinking to theirs – Orcas are capable of complex analysis and problem solving ability as a herd or as individual.

    1. Profile gravatar of

      Elections??? It’s the same song and dance in all countries that were at any time under Spanish colonial rule. There is no such thing as election fraud, vote buying is how politics works in the RPI. If you have enough money you can purchase an elected position. The electorate doesn’t necessarily show their stupidity on election day, they simply vote for the highest bidder and live free for a day.
      Bong Revillia is a Senator, nuff sed.
      Each area of the country has it’s royal family and they toss 500p into the hands of voters to get their relatives elected to whatever position they want.
      During the last Presidential cycle, so many predicted that Noy noy could not win because he didn’t have enough money. Manny didn’t realize how much foreign money the Aquino’s could leverage. Some Filipno’s actually believe that money had nothing to do with that election, they think it was truly the will of the people. Idiots. Not even in the “real world” does the will of the people matter. No thinking American actually voted for the Usurper, votes were bought and stolen. The Philippines has learned all it needs about corrupt politics from the USA. Coupled with the Spanish colonial royal family construct, there you go.
      Emelda Marcos is a Senator, WTF, right?
      Enrile, no shit?!??

  5. Profile gravatar of montreal_dude

    Once I went in a Mc Donald in Baguio with my wife and after we’ve finished eating, I brought our 2 treys to the garbage, threw the waste in the garbage box and place those treys over the garbage box we what most adults are doing in America. No big deal right? BIIIPPPPP!!! My wife was wondering what was I doing. She never saw anything like that of her life. She said we don`t need to do this because the employes will take care of it. Yeah hu? Cleaning? Me? Fuck you! Why would I waist 20 seconds of all my precious time while I can go to sit down on an upside down bucket and watching cars passing for hours? I`m way too important. After all I`m a the Ultimate Master of the Universe. Just like He-Man!! HE-MAN!!! I wonder how come nothing is improving in the Philippines. Oh yeah I forgot. It`s all because of the corruption from politiciens. I have nothing to do with that ME because I`m amazing.

  6. Profile gravatar of

    Even though i’m a Filipino. But you’re so fucking right, they are some fucking stupid Filipinos don’t have manners stealing some condiments at the table is just so fucking insane and when you request one it took them so long to bring it to you. and when you ask for more the look on their faces like there pissed off. like what the hell! i’m a fucking customer here. And when it comes with there food service at first they will serve you your drinks and then after that it will take you half an hour just waiting for you fucking food. then your done drinking your fucking drinks because your too hungry waiting for them to serve your food.

  7. Profile gravatar of

    “Out of stock”, my personal favorite. It is a constant reminder of the old Monty Python Cheese shop sketch. Restaurants, hardware stores, camera shops, sari sari stores the lot of them. I usually ask before ordering at restaurants, “What is not available?” to save time, however, this is not fool-proof. Sari-sari shops that have the packets of “you name it” , I ask for a sachet and it is out of stock. I am looking at the sachets but can’t buy one…WTF? My idiot girlfriend runs a Sari-sari store (into the ground, BTW) The store has a great location, 10’s of thousands of people walk by each day. She sells a lot of particular items, ice candies and at night a shitload of Red Horse and Emperador, and cigs by the stick. Do you think this birdbrain would have the business sense to have a solid stockage of these items? Why Hell no, of course not. She’ll have 8 or 10 ice candies each day, though there is a chest freezer big enough to accomodate 1000 of them. This dipshit has San Miguel deliver 2 cases of Red Horse each week, 2, not the 10-20 cases that she could sell, just 2. It is all borne of her laziness. If she had plenty of stock, she would actually have to sell it to someone. I have had it up to my eyelashes with Pinoys soliciting my help in getting a business started. Absolute waste of resources from start to finish. I don’t bother coaching her, I don’t fund anything. I have done cartwheels bending over to serve and assist, with the same lame-ass result. The outcome is the result of abject laziness. I take care of my business and she has nothing to do with it. She serves my needs when I need her services.
    And don’t bother asking any of this type any question at all. Like where is the…? Puckered lips point in the general direction, as if speaking would require their last dying breathe. Sorry, rambling.
    Out of Stock….hilarious! The chicken bar-b-que stand has no manok, the tire shop has no tires, the sari-sari store is exactly that, a sorry, sorry assed excuse for a business.

  8. Profile gravatar of

    BTW, has anyone here ever ordered a “Bucket of Beer” at a bar? Brilliant, 5 opened bottles of beer in a plastic (dirty) bucket. Not one tiny chunk of ice. The iced down bucket is the f’ckn’ reason for having a bucket of beers at the table. The concept of cold beer is lost on all of SE Asia. I love a website that invites me to rant, f’ckn’ brilliant!!!!!

    1. Profile gravatar of heyjoe

      I have ordered their advertised “ice cold beer”. I received a warm beer and a glass with a small piece of ice that usually melts in about a minute.

      1. Profile gravatar of JoeyG

        Hey, the ice melts quickly because it is HOT and HUMID in the Philippines. That the Philippines is a tropical country is not Filipinos’ fault. LOL!

        But yes, if I ask for ice cold beer, I do want ICE COLD beer.

  9. Profile gravatar of Chuck

    Hi all,

    please apologize my bad english, I am from Germany and since 3 years in relationship with a really very intelligent and tough filipino.

    In the first time when I visitet him at his place, i often was getting crazy because of all the facts that are described here in this blog. And often my bf and me had arguments about that. After he visitet Germany for at least 3 months and had his veryvery first impressions of the world “outside”, he was becoming very reflective and thoughtful and said “Chuck, now I really understand what all you meant and was complaining about”.

    Well, back to the topic
    Scene in the morning in a 3star-hotel in Mindanao where be both intend to take our breakfast. We took place at the table and waitet patiently until the waitress finished texting. Then she scuffled to our table and awaitet our orders:

    waitress: Sir, whats your order?
    me: Well, Ill take the american breakfast
    waitress: Sir, ham or bacon?
    me: Well, ill take the bacon….
    waitress: Sorry Sir, we dont have bacon
    me: (a bit confused but still nice) Well, then ill take the ham…
    waitress: Sorry Sir, we also have no ham, out of stock. Sorry Sir…”
    me: (i was in good mood, so I took it somehow as a comedy) Well, then just bring me a pancake or some rice or whatever is available. But please bring me a brewed coffee.
    Waitress is noticing all our difficult order to her notebook, well we are the only guests in that time, maybe she is a bit overchallenged. After about 5min she returned:
    waitress: Sorry Sir, we dont have brewed coffee, only instant…

    What the hell is going wrong here? There are plenty of coffee plants not more then 20km away, but they are only serving Nestle every now and then? When you order a pinaple juice, they will serve you a nestle instant pinapple sludge?????

    Dining in Phils is a real pain in the ass!!

    1. Profile gravatar of JoeyG

      Again, this one is very true. I get exasperated a lot when I ask for three different items on the menu one at a time, only to be told each time that the restaurant doesn’t have it. So I am okay with unnerving them by yelling “SO WHY DON’T YOU JUST CLOSE UP YOUR RESTAURANT TODAY?”

      1. Profile gravatar of Mike


        I get the same thing. Sometimes I can understand it though. Went to one place that had ostrich and alligator on the menu only to hear “out of stock”. That I understand as not your everyday orders and would run out fast. No problem, next item.

  10. Profile gravatar of Phil Doh
    Phil Doh

    I wonder if the timing with serving food is somehow related to filipino time. I serious think they just have no concept of time whatsoever. I’ve been in restaurants where there is just myself and my wife, no other customers, we’ve both ordered starters and she’s towards the end of her main course when my starter eventually arrives. How is that even possible? Even if it’s the chefs first day on the job he must still have some idea of how long the dishes take to prepare and cook. Sometimes the meal which takes longer to cook will come out before the one which takes less time.

    I could probably write over a 100 separate things which have been fails when dining out here. I used to find it funny, then I used to get annoyed, now I just expect it every time.

    My favorite fuck up has to be:

    Waitress: Sorry sir, we don’t have. May I suggest this dish instead.
    Me: Sure, that’s fine.
    Waitress: Let me just go and check if that’s available.
    Five minutes later: “Sorry sir, not available.

    Had a pretty shitty experience at grab-a-crab the other day. I enquired about a chicken dish I wasn’t familiar with.

    Waitress: It’s slices of chicken with vegetables in a sauce

    When I think of “slices of chicken” I imagine nice tender carvings of chicken breast. What I got instead were chicken bones with a few slithers of brown and pink meat around them, served with a spoon to pick at. The vegetables: a few pieces of cauliflower where you could see the dirt still on it from where they hadn’t even bothered to wash it.

    Go on their FB page and people praise it like they’re living the dream by eating there. They should rename it to grab-some-crap.

    1. Profile gravatar of CantFixStupid

      I never ever read any filipino reviews of any sort, whether it be for hotels, restaurants, vacation spots, etc.

      They’re so accustomed to shit, that anything better than what they’ve seen is a 5 star experience. I just skip to western reviews of any places i want to visit.

  11. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    To Fafi,
    I see the edit button now,,, kewl thechnology
    If only it would put paragraphs, right spelling in,, Caps…
    proper english.
    You are doing aa great job in keeping my sanity in this nuthouse