To say that the Philippines is a nation of “Me Monsters” is to make a gross understatement. And to understand the raw truth of the disgusting me-first attitude in this country you have to see it for yourself. Words just cannot convey it adequately. But I will try.
The ways in which this me-first syndrome (a sickness here, really) gets expressed are multivarious and omnipresent. On the roads, in the malls (for the pedestrian component, as there are virtually no sidewalks here – WTF?), at restaurants and especially at all waiting lines, anywhere there are Filipinos, there are Me Monsters.
Let’s discuss a few true life examples.
Once, while carrying a heavy 5 gallon jug of water down a sidewalk (rare, but sometimes you can find them), I was rudely T-boned by a gaggle of empty-headed Filipinas exiting a strip mall parking lot (on foot, thankfully). I saw them coming because that’s what I do when I walk – I use my fucking eyes. I look around.
They were using their eyes to look down at their cell phone screens. Apparently, whatever was on those screens was more important than whatever obstacles might be in their paths, including other people.
Now, I assume that when one exits a side street onto a thoroughfare, the main traffic artery has the right-of-way, correct? Not in the Philippines! Why? Because every single person in this fucking country is apparently the most important person in the Universe. Me first!! How can that possibly work, you might ask? Not too fucking well. It might be possible for one person to be the most important douche bag in the Universe, but it’s not logically possible for every douche bag to be that. But that doesn’t stop these idiots from trying, and the result is a hair-pulling clusterfuck of frustrating chaos.
So what was this air-headed Filipina’s response when she ran straight into me?
Yeah, she thought it was my fault. Unfuckingbelievable, yet true, and it happened right here in dumb-as-dirt Philippines. You know what’s worse than a dumb fucking moron? An arrogant dumb fucking moron!
The funny part was that I knew it was coming. I saw her not paying attention, totally oblivious to her surroundings, and I’d been here long enough to know how people think, or rather, don’t think, and I was curious to see if this twit and her friends were stupid enough to actually plow right into me. They were. Don’t ever underestimate the capacity for stupidity in this country. EVER! That’s one thing that this country gives generously. The same goes for selfishness and greed – and all are required components of the me-first syndrome, which nearly everyone here suffers from.
Think about the consequences in traffic of this mentality. Makes you shudder, doesn’t it?
The best way to explain the result is to say that there is no right-of-way in traffic. It doesn’t exist here. There can be no right-of-way when every single person is always right.
So what you get is that every vehicle constantly moves forward as there is space to move forward (and sometimes even when there is not). You can imagine what busy intersections look like. Despite this resulting chaos, accidents are surprisingly infrequent. That’s a mystery that remains unsolved.
One time I was waiting in an area for a bus to arrive. I just happened to be standing at the curb precisely where the bus ended up stopping at, much to my surprise and delight. As the bus slowed to a stop, the rear boarding door was directly in front of me. I was ecstatic, for approximately one second, as in the next second there were suddenly four black-haired heads between me and the as-yet unopened door. Yep – Me Monsters. I had no idea how they got there so fast. It’s like they were line-cutting ninjas or something. True professionals. Total me-first fucktards.
Everyone here seems to love being on the roads, especially if they are not in a vehicle. They walk on it (no sidewalks, remember), stand on it (doing nothing), and sit on it (again, doing nothing). They build their houses and businesses so that the front wall abuts the pavement. What that means is that when they step out of their front door, they’re ON THE ROAD!! And if you think they poke their heads out first to check for traffic, you’d be wrong. Me-first idiots, all the way, all the time. Oh yeah, let’s not forget that they let their dogs take naps on the roads as well. I guess the dogs are filling in for these morons when they’re otherwise preoccupied. Idiots.
My last apartment was in one of these houses built right on the road, which was lovely, because there’s not one motorcycle here that has a functional muffler. To make matters even more delightful, there was a young couple with a very loud child that chose to park their selfish asses right next to my window near the street to sell their fried bananas on a stick. They cooked these with a wood fire, which meant that all the sooty smoke wafted into my window which I left open so that I wouldn’t suffocate from the heat. I suffocated anyway, thanks to the smoke.
But the smoke was not enough for these self-absorbed dingleberries. No. They could do better than that. They chose to also play cell phone music at ear-splitting, tinny volumes (china-made phones here are surprisingly loud). The whole damn day. Selfish, ignorant fucks!
The last example is one of incomprehensible stupidity. I was at a port on my motorcycle after disembarking from a ferry. Traffic was backed up at the gate while the guard collected his extortion, umm, I mean, the terminal fee (sure, if you give it an official name, it’s not stealing – greedy thieves). I got off my motorcycle as traffic was not moving at all to stretch a bit. Then, for no reason, the douchebag Filo in the pickup in front of me decided to back up. Maybe he was too important to wait in line like everyone else.
I wasn’t worried because I didn’t know this place yet at that time. I expected people here to act like people do anywhere else. Big fucking mistake!
So, he backs up until he’s getting dangerously close to my front tire. Now, mind you, he’s looking back over his shoulder at me the whole time, so I know he sees me. But he doesn’t see me. That’s the incomprehensible part. He’s looking right at me, but he doesn’t see me. How do I know that? Because he hit my fucking front tire!!! It’s beyond belief! Before he hit my tire, I was waving my hand frantically at him to stop – you know the gesture, it’s fucking universal. But this Filo dumbass didn’t know the gesture, and he didn’t see me, even though he was looking right at me. It’s beyond comprehension, but here, it’s possible. And to round out your understanding more fully of the decadent, morally bankrupted nature of these hopeless idiots, know this: all the Filipinos standing by (they are forever standing by, doing nothing, wherever you go) who watched the whole sad event transpire, what did they do? They laughed, of course. Fuckturd assholes.
Some may say it’s unacceptable to use the language I used in this post, and I would say to them “Go piss up a fucking rope!” Others need to be warned of the truth before coming here, and any clueless Filo that stumbles across this blog needs to hear shock language like this in order for them to wake the fuck up. You don’t wake someone in a coma up by gently shaking them. You wake them up by bitch slapping their ass.