Everything I HATE about Fast-Food in Philippines

Jollibee beats MCDsSomeone may have already paraphrased the general idiocy of fast-food joints in Philippines, but I’m here to fully tackle this issue in detail since I have been dealing with this a lot lately. I’m sure most of you can relate.

1. WHERE THE FUCK IS THE LINE???!!! – Have you ever entered a Jollibee or McDonalds and ready to order, then the first thing you see is a gaggle-fuck crowed of Filipinos bunched up at the cash register? I never know where to stand, do I line up in front of the cash register, or beside it? Sometimes the line even shifts to the point where you somehow lose your place in line. Or sometimes you are in the middle of a line, a new register opens up and the people behind you are first again. Sometimes I am standing behind a few customers who are picking up there food, when you intended to stand in the ‘ORDERING’ line.

2. THE MOST USELESS JOB OF ALL TIME! OK, you are in line, and you already know what you want to order, then some jackass comes to you with a piece of paper asking you what you want to order. I always tell them to fuck off every time, but what is the point of placing your order two times? Plus, the more people you have to place your order through, the more chances you have of getting your order fucked up. Those little order slips don’t always clarify the specifics of your order; like if you want Sprite instead of Coke, burger toppings, spicy or mild, or flavor of ice cream you want, so you end up having to re-verify your order anyway! Bad enough the cashier always fucks up my order when I place my order directly to them verbally, going through a third party will just fuck it up even more. They don’t speed up the ordering process and you are still waiting in the same line. I’ve seen times where they would approach a customer who was next and ready to order at the cashier, so everything they are saying to the idiot order taker could’ve been said to the cashier instead, just taking up more time! So why do we need them again except for increasing employment opportunities?

3. FOR DINE-IN!!!!! When I order food, especially for take out, I don’t always just order for myself, sometimes I order for the group I am with. I find it extremely rude when I am placing an order, I start off by saying what I want, then I get rudely interrupted with “For Dine-In?!” Then I end up losing my trend of thought before continuing on with what everyone else wanted. Sometimes they forget the first thing I order, so I end up repeating the first order to them again, especially if it had specifics (example: no cheese, or extra rice). Isn’t there some type of protocol where they can ask you ‘Dine-in’ or ‘Take-out’ before or after the entire order, instead of rudely interrupting you in the middle of your order? At least in America they do it the right way, but this place gotta get their shit straight. There have been times where my after they interrupted me with ‘Dine-in/Take-out’, computed my subtotal, and mistakenly completed my order when I had more to order for the group I am with (who are usually holding a table for us).

4. TAKE YOUR SEAT AND WAIT 10 SECONDS! Have you ever taken your order, and you were just waiting for one one more food item to complete your order, then you are directed to take a number and sit down? This is not serious in most conditions, but there have been several times where I am just waiting for fries, or something that doesn’t take much waiting, they give me a number and order me to take a seat, then 3 minutes later they come to me with my fries (fries is just an example), but out of those 3 minutes, the fries were ready in 30 seconds, and they spent the other 2 and a half minutes looking for me, there has been a time where one gave up looking for me because I was seated upstairs, so I had to personally come downstairs to inquire about my missing order. Lately, I just request to wait at the counter until my food is complete, even if they give me a number. Last week at Jollibee (this actually happened), I ordered Beef Tapa and Pancakes for breakfast, the pancakes weren’t ready yet, so they gave me a number and asked that I sit down and wait. As usual, I declined to leave the counter since they may forget about me, and there wasn’t anywhere to sit (I will cover that in number 5). Then guess fuckin what? In less than 10 seconds, they came out with my pancakes? I bet it would’ve taken longer if i sat down, and trust them to find me before my food gets cold. Waiting 10 more seconds at the counter doesn’t hurt me 🙂

5. TABLE-TRASH! We can all guess what this is about. There are times when I can’t find a place to sit because it is lazy piece of shit Filipino’s tradition to not throw their own trash away at fast food restaurants, or in any restaurant in a matter of fact…. There has been times where I couldn’t find place to sit because half the tables were occupied by existing customers, and the other half were occupied by previous customer’s platter of garbage and leftovers. I don’t like this practice, but I have been somewhat conformed to it due to the many times I’ve been looked at weird for dumping my own trash, and from times where I have been instructed by an employee to not worry about it, and that they will take care of it. Sometimes they do, and sometimes they don’t. But during slow hours in the morning, most tables at my local Jollibee are flooded with trash, that is probably the only acceptation where I do take-out instead of dine-in.

As you can all see, from the moment I enter a fast-food joint, from the time I exit it is a complete nuisance from start to finish. I just wanted to break it all down and put it in words this time to see what you all thought, and if any of you have personally experienced this yourself as well. If I were to break down everything I hate about shopping at the malls here, it would require writing a whole Perry-book, and I don’t have the time for that….. LOL

Published in Filipino Customer Service


  1. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    hmmmmm,, shopping malls,,,, I hate the loud friggin music so i cant think of what i want
    thats all right for a flip,, they are used to it,,,, but do we need an amplifier every 10 feet to shop with
    the crowds of massa with 10 in each group enjoying the aircon,, one person holding a little brand name bag of crap just to show the neighbors they bought some peice of chinese crap.
    At sm ,,, they do this silly clap ping every hour ,,,,, just leave me the frig alone and includes your noise.
    perfume counters handing out shit samples,,, if i want perfume ,, i will shop for it,,,, real estate or cel fone vendors hANDING out sales folders,,,,
    I went into the resto with singing waiters near roxas street. DO NOT GO INSIDE… SILLY ME,, i should have realised something was wrong when the menu is not at the front door,, EXPENSIVE,,, and who needs singing while eating…..
    manila Bay ,,,, do they ever think about how much pollution or what kind of garbage is in that bay,,,,, NOPE,,, i just look at that greasy dirty water and cringe,,
    IS IT JUST ME or does anybody else feel the same??? please reply.. al

    1. Profile gravatar of Pearl Of My Ass
      Pearl Of My Ass

      al, you ask for reply, I am one beer away from my next cigarette, so I do. I would personally love to hear singing while eating but what Philippines has to offer is not pleasant. Think about about instead of red velour curtains of the Moulin Rouge with Cancan women, tasty food and smooth wine…. that’s it. Hell, even a good juicy Kebab in Hyde Park while listening to good rock band you never heard off while some britt dick head is pucking, that would do. But what The Philippines has to offer is just caca. It’s cultural ? Well… been in many other countries in Asia and I have always been transported by something different. In the Phils, just caca.
      Time for a smoke.
      Take it easy gents

      1. Profile gravatar of 30-30

        i seen tina turner in concert…. 17,000 people sitting QUIETLY In their seats…because she is awesome and the crowd wants to hear her.
        In the phils,,, you could not hear anything for flips screaming and jumping

  2. Profile gravatar of Martin Brown
    Martin Brown

    All the comments about fast food places are correct but do like I do – do not eat in them!! It is junk food mainly anyway and if you eat in a junk food place expect junk service.

  3. Profile gravatar of CantFixStupid

    I hate Jollibee, don’t ever eat there. I do go to McD’s with my girl, but only eat fries (thats the only food item impossible to fuck up). Other than that i stay away from most fast food chains due to the fear of food poisoning. Most waiters and shit most of the Filipino population has no clue how to wash their hands after CR use. I constantly see pinoy douchebags piss (not looking at them), just noticing they start adjusting their hair right after pissing and never washing hands. Man my frustration after 3 weeks of being back has me referring to all Filipinos as “animals”.

  4. Profile gravatar of

    #5 is my biggest pet peeve of all….

    How fucking easy is it to pick up your trash and put it in the garbage can on your way out?? That is the epitome of laziness and I love when I get shit-face stares as I clean my own table and take care of my OWN trash. The people here are so hung up on being seen as elite by others and above such menial tasks that they forget the most basic of manners. holy smokes…

    1. Profile gravatar of FAFI
      FAFI Post author

      Yes, I hear ya on that brother…. I still throw away my trash sometimes, but my idiot wife is gonna hate in America where she will be expected to dump her own trash instead of expecting one of our poorly paid minimum wage employees to do it for them. If Filipinos were able to grasp the basic concept of throwing away their own trash, they may be more cognizant of their environment and be more reluctant to toss their trash on their streets. It’s just humanity to clean up after yourself, which was something I was taught as a child. Why can’t Filipinos fathom that simple thought? If everyone Filipino can take an extra 15 seconds after their meal to throw away their own trash, they eliminate one major problem in restaurants. But by doing so, that shows ‘courtesy’ to the next customer, and we all know that Filipinos are not courteous to each other, they all wanna drag each other down like crabs in a bucket trying their best to butt-fuck each other. Yep! That’s Filipinos alright!

    2. Profile gravatar of

      I take satisfaction in throwing my own trash and leaving a clean table at a fast-food restaurant. One of the hazards of living with stupid dirty people: some of the slime will eventually rub off on you. Nowadays, I sometimes leave my trash on the table; the waiter’s comments and the stupid stares are sometimes not worth the attention.

  5. Profile gravatar of Pearl Of My Ass
    Pearl Of My Ass

    Talking about trash and managing them, where I live, since 2012 we have to buy specific, taxed, garbage bags (about if I convert, 100 pesos the bag) and containers to collect the bags are checked (! Seriously !). Recycling glass, PET, paper, aluminum and even organic stuff has become the practice. And even if it may be pissing off people because you would expect paying local taxes should cover and avoid the bother of doing it yourself, well, it is now considered the standard.
    It is hard to feel like it does matter when you go to Asia and see the way the world is trashed – but when you hear about people dying in China due to pollution, well you realize any little gesture count at the end. I am not an ecologist, but Bly me, we are so much and wasting so much, if we do not start to think, we’re fucked.
    I went off topic, sorry for the ecologist rant (I am more of a capitalist), but it will come to an end where in the Philippines, they will eat and live on and of their own dump, that is, some of them do already (pagpag).
    Sorry for the deviation, not my first beer 😉
    Have a nice Sunday

    1. Profile gravatar of 30-30

      maybe its a make work project, every am a small of army of tambays clean up our baranguy…still thye can not fathom that if you throw garbage the sewers plug up ,,, and u are up to ur neck in water in floods???????
      I bet they dont trash singapore, their asses wouyld be in jail

  6. Profile gravatar of Waipahukanu

    I live in a condo. I have neighbors whose unit is located nearby the trash chute. What they do is just open the door and sweep hair outside their unit, and into the hall. Obviously, this is against the house rules. I got fed up with it, and complained to the management that I was tired of seeing big black hair balls on my way to dump my trash. I know exactly what you are talking about. I am trying to fathom what is in their mind when they do that…. “The maintenance will clean it”? I just can’t understand it. The sense of entitlement just blows my mind. I live in Cebu City; it isn’t the province!

  7. Profile gravatar of CantFixStupid

    There is actually an anti-littering law here, at least in Manila, just wish someone would enforce it…


    1. Profile gravatar of FAFI
      FAFI Post author

      Well if that law was enacted 18 years ago, I know damn well that nobody is following it now. There are many rules, laws, and regulations in fuckin Philippines that are never enforced. They just put out laws for the hell of it and allow everyone to break it. It’s funny, because at the condo where I live, there is a school gate next to the entrance of my condo that clearly says,”No Parking.” Everyday I walk by there I see a line of Tricycles parked there. They either can’t understand English, stupid, or just don’t care. But what will happen to them? Absolutely fucking nothing! NOTHING!!! That is the problem with this country, there is no rewards/punishment system (in most cases). There is no incentive to be a law-abiding citizen, and there is no punishment for those who break the law. I figured this out already while attending college here. They tell us to wear school uniform, be on time, don’t cheat, and all that other bullshit, but when someone actually disobeys those rules, not a single goddamn thing happens to them! As for the ones who follows the rules, they don’t get any incentive, treat, or reward.
      I really don’t get how the Filipino mind works, maybe a dog can. It takes an animal to understand an animal.

      1. Profile gravatar of Waipahukanu

        I know FAFI the laws offers no protection here. One can murder people drunk driving, and one might only have to pay off the victims family. How much depends on how much they think you have. You might do jail time for drunk driving which probably would be a short time, but a reckless homicide charge most likely will not be brought against the drunk. It is very pathetic here. Everyone’s life is cheap here.

      2. Profile gravatar of volksair

        Well the key word is Rules, and if you have been here in this cesspool for any length of time you would realize that the vast majority of the flips here do not give a flying fuck about rules.Why should they care, they now damn well who is going to catch them, there is absolutely, none, nitch, nada law enforcement is this shithole.

        Why should they care, they now there is no law enforcement here.

  8. Profile gravatar of Waipahukanu

    And going back to stupidity at Fast Food places. I was at Sbarros waiting in line, and I was asked 3 times “what about drinks sir?” I told them the first time no thanks. They just look at me crazy with the blank expression every time when I said no. Then finally “for the last time no drinks!” Maybe Pinoys never eat anything dry. Asking me 3 times is one time too many! I think they just like to sell fountain soft drinks to increase their bottom line!

    I can relate to the “Dine in or Take out” comments above. I used to say “to go” instead of “take out”, but it didn’t seem to compute in their minds right away. So now I just say “take out”. There is never a smooth communication flow at a Fast Food Joint… It is usually annoying!