So, you’ve lived in the Philippines for a few years. You’ve maybe made a few expat friends along the way. Some of those are probably on Facebook or other online forums. Well, surely you will run into a few of these “apologists” who just love to troll expat forums and groups so they can boast about how fucking worldly and tolerant they are and how you just “need to understand the culture”. These are also usually one of those spineless idiots who believed all the horse shit when everyone told him “that’s how it is here”. “You pay for all our things, and we get to come over whenever we like”. “It’s our culture.” When they speak to you, most of them will also add in the obligatory “well you’re a guest here, so if you don’t like it, just go back to your home country”. Can you even fathom the fucking arrogance of a statement like that? I pay the same taxes (VAT). I pay my rent. I pay for my food. I don’t get ANYTHING free here. I have absolutely no liability footprint whatsoever in the Philippines. If anything, I am contributing wealth and well-being to some Filipinos as a result of my living here.
So what’s the deal with these people who just love to say that shit? It’s like you CAN’T complain about anything or else you’re an intolerant dick in their eyes. What about the shit people do to me? Does that count for anything? So, I have this new thing I say now when one of those dip shits says something like “if you’re going to live here, you need to embrace the culture and do as the Romans do”. I fucking LOVE it when they say that shit now! Here’s my reply…
“Okay! No problem. But, I have a feeling my GF (wife) isn’t going to like it so much when I take a kabit (mistress) or two for some “on the side” fun. And I’ll need to start urinating all over the sidewalks and streets from now on. And I’ll make sure I stop over at all your houses at least once a week for some free food. I’ll drive like a complete asshole. I’ll cut lines everywhere and push my way to the front. I won’t yield to ambulances. I’ll stop working so hard, and take a “bahala na” approach to everything. If we don’t have groceries or rice, I’ll send my wife/GF out to scrounge some off the neighbors or a friend.”
You bet!!! I’ll embrace the culture!Published in