Extremely Shitty Filipino Punkass

Just a short detour from all the ventings, some of you might find this amusing.

Anyone who has turned to alternative sources in seeking explanations for why people behave the way they do has likely come across this little something called the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. Many have come to the conclusion that it is but mere pseudoscience, and aye, it may very well be. Notwithstanding that its actual validity is highly questionable, I love the system and use it all the time in coming up with base personality profiles for my fictional characters.

To those who are not in the know, MBTI is like this sort of theoretical system that, through a questionnaire, would determine where you stand amongst its 16 personality types. It was created by a duo of mother and daughter, and largely based on Carl Jung’s personality types theory. In fact, each Myers-Briggs type is made up of a distinct configuration of all of C.J.’s personality types treated as mere cognitive functions.

According to the MBTI, a person is either:

Extraverted (E – predominantly concerned with the outside of self)
Introverted (I – predominantly concerned with inner life);

Obtains information in a manner that is:

Sensate (S – predominantly concerned with concrete details, and “what is”)
Intuitive (N – predominantly concerned with abstract details, and “what ifs”);

Makes most decisions governed by:

Thinking (T – logic and detachment, “object”)
Feeling (F – values and attachment, “subject”)

And finally, operates more comfortably in a style that is:

Judging (J – meets deadline, “deciding”)
Perceiving (P – anticipates deadline, “probing”)

And these make up the 4-letter combination which results in a Myers-Briggs personality type.

Before I cut to the chase, I just want to say a couple of things:

  1. that there is really no “best” or “smartest” or “master race” type (“thinking” does not necessarily equate to “smart”, and “feeling” does not necessarily equate to “wuss”, “judging” does not necessarily equate to “responsible” and “perceiving” does not necessarily equate to “procrastinator”)
  2. you can put one hundred people of the same type inside a room and you get 100 very different people anyway. So while it fails as an effective tool to understand why psychos be the way they are, I think it shines as a medium for a more generalized understanding of people; and, generalization, albeit a poor practice in most situations, is a good tool to be used to evaluate entire populations.

That said, I present to you, the ESFP (Extraverted Sensing-Feeling Perceiver).

Personalitypage.com begins to describe the ESFP thus:

“As an ESFP, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. Your secondary mode is internal, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit with your personal value system.

ESFPs live in the world of people possibilties. They love people and new experiences. They are lively and fun, and enjoy being the center of attention. They live in the here-and-now, and relish excitement and drama in their lives.”

Sound familiar?

A very good site that says it like it is and is based on actual survey is Similarminds.com. Here’s the stuff they put together about the ESFP:

“outgoing, social, group oriented, dislikes science fiction, does not like to be alone, feels at ease around others, conventional, talkative, modest, does not like to be alone, good at getting people to have fun, values relationships and family over intellectual pursuits, open, likes to dance, spontaneous, underachieving, at times unprepared, emotional, values organized religion, suggestible, at times easy to impress, not analytical, disorganized, prone to crying, likes to be center of attention, happy, trusts others, can be influenced more by others than self, can be touchy feely, feels the emotions of others, likes teamwork, guided by moods”

I think that, generally, ESFP describes the Filipino very well, no? Especially the negative traits. And thus, the bane of the civilized world is born: the Extremely Shitty Filipino Punkass.

“Extrovert Privileges” run rampant in this country like you wouldn’t believe. Sometimes, all it takes for Filipinos to regard you as “intelligent”, or “strong”, is that you “speak up” (with, ideally, as loud a voice as you can manage and as little thinking you have done prior), and be damn sure to say the things they want to hear. The measure of your resolve is determined by, ironically, the amount of un-thinking you do (plus the volume of your voice, like i said) because considering that the bigger problems in life are often multi-layered and complex, the Filipino mind simply cannot take them on the way they are. As it is often the case with the wild species often found in elementary classrooms, Filipinos prefer a “race you to the end of a minefield” as opposed to a “sit the fuck down, shut the fuck up and think” approach to life. Easy explanations are highly valued.

Those of you who use your heads while you live your lives, may find that, if you truly think about it, there have been a few moments in your existence when you found that a spade is not necessarily always a spade, because there are more abstract things to consider, and values to be weighed against logic when coming up with decisions, if we are to not regret them eventually. A spade is ALWAYS a spade in this country, because the Kapusos and the Kapamilyas say one thing and that makes it automatically explain everything. This principle also explains why the batshit obsession with religion, because the bibles easily explain away that the world is built from magic and sorcery (and dragons for all we know, there have been certain scriptures that were omitted, right?) and we know better than to question the plots of High Fantasy novels. Nobody ever questioned how Gandalf could have been reborn into a more powerful wizard when he died fighting the Balrog in the Mines of Moria. Of course we would suspend our disbelief the same way for the death of Jesus.

(No hate to the proper theists on here, but the fact stands that to scrutinize religion is the lesser evil when trying to figure out just exactly what the fuck is wrong with this country.)

When you, however, say something that is backed by some measure of substantial thinking (especially if it deals with the ugly truth), AND in a loud voice, then you are simply “bastos”. But here’s where it gets interesting. If they like you enough (in other words, deem you their master and protector and benefactor, for the moment, at least), the Punkasses would simply agree and tailor their ways around that intelligent bit that they allowed themselves to pick up from you so that you would like them back. Yep, it’s all for appearances, as that intelligent bit was the byproduct of your very own mental gears, nuts and bolts; and that intelligent bit, as a foreign object in another’s brain (in this case, a Filipino’s brain), is completely wasted unless truly milked and processed. Such processing is a distinct IMPOSSIBILITY for a mind that has no capacity to break through the bed of ice which is the Filipino brand of reasoning.

Well, shit, it’s on now; you can forget about that damn detour. I really have nothing against extroverts (on a global scale) save for the fact that I don’t think they try to understand introverts as much as we try to understand them. But the ESFP-Filipino quality that really gets on my nerves and baffles me to no end is the disrespect for individuality. And the fact that they would steamroll you with canned emotional responses when you challenge them with… anything, really, says a lot about our character as a people. Flippo ESFPs only want to have fun and you had better do it their way or else you are a weirdo. Some user named Jalex on the INTJforum said it best when he enumerated the reasons why he thinks that the Philippines is the most ESFP country in the world:

“always late
unreliable Ps
talkative and loud
always make excuses
always hang out in groups
refusal to say anything directly
like to appeal to emotions / guilt / pity
refusal to take accountability for their words
nobody is allowed to stand out as individuals
everyone is expected to conform to the group
full of shopping malls where people waste their time
extremely sensitive to criticisms and take them personally”

+1 for the “shopping mall, wasting time” bit. That is a damn good observation.

An ESFP is not necessarily a shitty individual. But since the Filipino ESFP’s primary mode of living is largely reliant on what is in the present moment and not much else, AND with their being oriented to extraversion at that, means that they would rather seek amusement and/or generally wallow in shitbaggery, again, in the present moment, because here in the Philippines, the present moment means that you don’t take initiative for any possibility of a better life and worldview, because, in the present moment, “possibility” does not exist. Of course it doesn’t! Believe me; I’ve checked underneath the bed! I’ve checked in me arse!

Well, if you are an NT (Rational) or an NF (Idealist) type living in the Philippines, you are playing on Artificial Difficulty and you had best believe that. If you would like to find any halfway-sensible people to bond/associate/form true fellowships with, I am sorry but you would have to dig very, very deep. You may luck out yet, however, for amidst the poser metalheads and übernerds and artsy-fartists you meet in the subcultural scene, there will be intelligent people of similar temperaments as you, and they rage the same way. Speaking of subculture, maybe in a future post I would write about “The Matrix” in the Philippines and the misadventures of us, the “Redpills”.

I hope you had fun reading this thinly-veiled pseudo-scientific rant that went nowhere. Respectfully, one who scored INFP.

Published in Filipino Stupidity


  1. Profile gravatar of Hey Joe
    Hey Joe

    LOL..Love it !
    According to the test I just took at the site you supplied. I am 100% fu#ked in this country. I am a SOTID Primary type is Spartan.

    Spartan:Characteristics: appearance is not a priority, care less about wealth/fame/status than peers, does not like to appear better than others, finds prestige chasing silly, prefers a simple/minimalistic lifestyle over a high-end/luxury one, would rather be oneself than fit-in, finds external indicators of success shallow, does not think their own happiness/success is more important than others, has no need for power over others, does not care about being at the top of any ladders, not competitive, desires less social interaction when depressed, would not enjoy being a celebrity, would be uncomfortable living in a very expensive house/apartment, don’t care a lot about dressing nicely, does not think image is important, could be happy poor, prefers to work behind the scenes without credit, would rather please self than others, thinks internal beauty is more important than external beauty, values freedom over money, tends to dislike people who chase wealth and status, values cooperation over competition, does not measure success by public opinion, does not love to be complemented:

    I could have wrote the above about myself….Scary accurate.. I’m Screwed !!!!!

      1. Profile gravatar of Hey Joe
        Hey Joe

        I am indeed (Spartan-like) So yes I am screwed for sure. I did not need this test to tell me this, but it does give weight to what my “gut” told me. That I made a mistake ever coming here.
        The good news is, I am a very independent person. Comfortable in my own skin, as is said. So I could care less if I ever leave my little farm. I grow/raise a good % of my own food, my need for grid power and water is getting less as my systems improve.

        That I see as a good thing for me. The less I am forced to deal with the bull shit, the better off I am. I “need” little.
        I am who I am, and that’s all that I am -PopEye 🙂

        I admit I am somewhat of a hermit.. but it keeps me out of trouble.

        1. Profile gravatar of Pitchblackcats
          Pitchblackcats Post author

          “I grow/raise a good % of my own food”
          Smart. If y’all thought the documentary “Food Inc” was gross, you ain’t seen crap. You should see the way they treat meat at factories here.

          1. Profile gravatar of Hey Joe
            Hey Joe

            Agree 100%. The local fly infested markets pushed me to just raise my own.
            It’s not that hard. Plus I sure do enjoy my American style ham and bacon and refuse to pay for the over priced imported stuff. So my only choice.. make it your self!

            Home made Ham and eggs from my own chickens for Sunday morning breakfast almost makes me forget I’m surrounded by retards.
            Plus I love the feeling one gets knowing I did it myself. Guess that’s my Spartan independence coming out. 😉

        2. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
          Captain PFB

          You’re not alone my fellow hermit. I find that the less I have to go out and deal with these idiots, the happier I am here. I pay others whom have earned my trust over the past 9 years to do everything I don’t have to absolutely do myself outside my home. I get out about once every 3 months for a haircut and some banking. I trie to kill as many birds with one stone as possible when I do have to go out.

          I am perfectly happy to stay in my little paradise up in the hills away from the “jungle”. It’s quite quiet and peaceful here.

          1. Profile gravatar of Hey Joe
            Hey Joe

            Yes, Kermit the hermit.. “it’s not easy being green”-or-(kano) here.

            Same here. We live out of town up in the hills on a small farm. It’s nice and quiet and a cool breeze most of the time. I feel sorry for the people that cram themselves into man-made prisons that some people call apartments or subdivisions, with there concrete walls (with broken glass on top) and armed guards to (feel) safe.
            But..hey, to each there own. Whatever floats your boat.
            I Do most all my banking by internet, pay as many bills as I can the same way.I even mail order things I know I can get downtown so I don’t have too. Keeps my blood pressure down. And keeps me out of jail, as I know I would kill one of these retards one of these days.

  2. Profile gravatar of Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III
    Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III

    As a long time user of Myer-Briggs, I see that as an insightful and hilarious take on the general population of the Failippines. Don’t know why I’ve never noticed it before. Probably because my INTJ head long ago decided to withdraw itself, and just stay away from the maddening crowds of imbeciles and thieves all around it – most especially in those fucking shopping malls!

  3. Profile gravatar of Joshua

    Just found some traits that are very much my certain contemporaries,
    “talkative and loud”
    While I and some of my classmates were doing group study sessions, these “certain contemporaries” were talking and laughing so hard. At one instance, I overheard them talking about one of them looking like a Korean when she changed her hairstyle. Because of the noise, the teacher from the next room got mad and took all our ID’s and confiscated them -_-

    “always hang out in groups” and I would like to add another one: “Fake personalities and double crossers”
    Oh yes, they’re always together. I actually went with them once. They were ok at first. However, they gossiped about people and backstabbed our classmates. The people they talked about didn’t even do anything to them. That was when I excused myself and left.

    You ever get that feeling that you’re the only doing the project while the rest of your group does nothing. That was how I felt in two instances. In the first one, I was randomly grouped with three of them. I told them to do each of their assigned tasks. In the end, they didn’t do anything and I had to do everything myself. In the second instance, I was randomly grouped, coincidentally, with four from the same annoying group. I had to do the work while they loudly talk to each other about mundane stuff.

    There are many more traits they have like their obsession with malls and laziness but there’s just too many of them that I can’t post them all here.

  4. Profile gravatar of crosstown

    Hey! FIVE Stars for this one.. I got on to the Speak loudly bit. Whereas for me, I tend to speak with a bit of distinction in my pronunciation, enunciation, and diction, during which, my voice tends to come across a bit above the Philippino chat level. This appears to generate a sense of fear towards many people I speak with, particularly with the “official types”. I do this primarily to TRY to assure that the dimwit receiving my conversation can better focus on what I am saying, thusly minimizing the possibility of receiving the moronic “Blank Stare”. Aaah yes, the rest of this comment was 10/10. Thanks mucho, amigo!