Fil Valley PTA

As you read this please play the song Harper Valley PTA in your minds. Today I had all the fun and enjoyment to attend parents orientation at my sons school like all good parents do. So I meet my son at the gate and off we go to the classroom for the first part of this exciting adventure. Once in the classroom I take my seat in second row from the blackboard in one of those tiny first grade chairs. That was an adventure in itself, not because I’m fat or tall though. It seems filipinos have a very hard time making a chair or table where all the legs are the same length. This chair was no exception as it would have made the most salty sailor sea sick just sitting in it. Then what do my eyes see? Could it be? YES another American is here too!!

My eyes gaze upon the writing on the blackboard which had the following:

PTA OFFICERS in big bold letters


Secretary of Ways and Means____________

Secretary of Culture__________________

Secretary of Information____________________

Secretary of Documents_______________________

Secretary of Finance__________________________

They never explained what each officer does and for president never singled anyone out to ask them if they would be nominated.

And then comes the nominations, slow at first then we have the president. Next nomination is for the ways and means (raising money right) and who is the the one they look at and ask if they would like to nominate themselves for ways and means? You guessed it, YOURS TRULY!!! Now being in this country long enough to know better I promptly declined stating I avoid politics, a lie I know. Then who is the second person they ask? The other American who also promptly declined. Guess he has been here long time too. But they did get a ways and means officer but both before and after they tried to corner the Americans into the office of ways and means they never asked anyone else directly to volunteer.

I found it interesting that the only time they asked anyone direct to volunteer it was the only whites in the room and for the office of begging for money. The day only went down hill from there until I sneaked out and went home. Had to, was putting head on umbrella handle going to sleep. Yes, It’s more fun in the philippines. One bright side though. The secretary of Culture was a very good looking woman. Wonder if she’d like to share a little culture?

Published in Elections


  1. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    cantk read messag,es on the right side,,,,
    Anyway,,,me and my boat anchor went to bureauu of immigration then to et police clearance,
    The police clearance was supposed to e online and no police clearan es would be entertained at the main office,
    WFT do i see,, they have computers free so all can register online,,,, for 115 ppesos,,versus 440 pesos doing it online,,,the C rowds are less there now,,,you still have to get your fingerprints done by ink and by camera,,,now they have running water and soap for u to wash ur hands,
    So far we have visited 8 windows at the bo immigration,, and have to wait until i get police cleaRAnce,,,
    They changing from the flintstones to pcs.

    1. Profile gravatar of Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III
      Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III

      Don’t go getting too excited al. Going online never means that you’ll have to give up standing in queues, this being the Failippines – a land of imbeciles and thieves. Now, instead of hand writing forms, you’ll need to go online to complete them – then print out a paper based version. You’ll then need to sign that with a pen, and go and stand in the same endless queues as what you did before, with your nicely printed forms. Payment processing online? Spare me. I’m already laughing hard just thinking about how often the new website will fail to even load. Welcome to the digital age – Pinoy style!

      1. Profile gravatar of 30-30

        Yes,, u r right,,, i screwed up when i thought these luddites could make something efficent, then my boat andhor was complaining about the extra cost,,, the boat anchor with 1o bags hanging on the door

  2. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    But the online paymenats system worked,,,!BUT it cost 440 pesos versus going to the beuraea and it costs 115 pesos there,,,but whqt a long line up for the computers, ,,if u figure in ur time getting roasted and feeling like battery acid is on ur skin,,,and being in a crowd
    440 pesos was worth it,,u just pat bank,,!anything yto keep away from flips

  3. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    yup,,, i still had fill out paper forms,,,, took my prints with camera,, picture of my ugly face,,,then had to shuffle my tired body over to Fingerprinted WITH INK!!!!!!!!!
    *****if my big car wont make it up the hill
    *****i will write my suicide note on a hundred dollar bill

  4. Profile gravatar of Sum Dum Joe
    Sum Dum Joe

    LOL. I am glad to know I am not the only one. I am PTA of my son’s class and vice president of the whole school.
    At least I can use it as an excuse to check up on the kids.

  5. Profile gravatar of Mike
    Mike Post author

    Here’s what I noticed. They made sure that they had a filipino as president BEFORE asking the Americans to accept ways and means. Then after that was filled they never asked any filipino direct to nominate themselves, just the Americans. Here’s the way I figured it:
    President- All the paernts going to come to you complaining.
    Ways & Means- Your fault if not enough money raised or money missing.
    Culture- What culture?
    Info- You have to find info the filipinos are too lazy to find while spending your own money.
    Documents- Will keep coming to you for documents they lost or destroyed.
    Finance- See ways and means.

    No thanks. I get enough bullshit from filipinos just going down the street.

  6. Profile gravatar of kalbo

    “No thanks. I get enough bullshit from filipinos just going down the street. ”

    I think that’s a useful phrase that all newcomers should learn by rote! In fact, I’ll try that one out on my next trip!