As you know, every good story has a part 2 to it. So I am here writing a continuation of the very first story I posted here from when I joined back in 2013. It’s needless to say that my wife is a fuckin idiot, but it has gone to the extreme that I start questioning if she is human or not. With that said, I have been reducing the amount of bedtime fun I have with her lately simply because I’m against bestiality.
Remember my friend “Fat Jesus” from my previous article? Well he came by one morning to talk over a beer about his psychotic and out of control wife. I guarantee that none of you have a wife/girlfriend eviler than her, it’s beyond compare. Well anyway, on with the story. 3 days later while I was scavenging around for something I lost, I came across an old cookie container with some mysterious murky fluid inside of it, which kinda resembled apple juice.
My wife was out at the time I found this container, and I gave her the benefit of the doubt it could’ve been cat urine (since we had recently adopted a cat), so I waited to confront her when she got home. Well she got home and I questioned her what was it that I had found in the cookie jar. She had then admitted to me that it was her urine that I had found in the cookie jar. I was in a rage to hear that, but I kept my cool so she can justify herself.
Apparently, being a typical pinoy who can’t take responsibility for their own actions, she blamed my buddy Fat Jesus only because he was there. Her reason for doing that was because when Fat Jesus and I was having our guy talk in the common area of my condo, she felt too shy to come out and use the CR/bathroom. So instead, she decides to piss in the cookie jar. Alright, if I had SOME level of tolerance for that, I probably could’ve let that pass with just a slap on the wrist, but the last time Fat Jesus visited my condo from the day I found the cookie jar of piss was 3 fuckin days ago! She could’ve at least dumped it later that day, but decides to leave it there and have our unit smell like an animal shelter!
Yes, the featured image in this article is the ACTUAL container of her urine, disgusting and not lady-like right? Well here are a few other things about her that has been pissing me off lately pertaining to her Filogic and stupidity:
- When it’s hot during the day time, she would open not only the windows, but the screen door as well. She says its to give us more fresh air, but she is letting all the bugs in as well. I prefer the screen doors closed to keep out all the rodents and insects, but she doesn’t see it that way.
- While cooking, she keeps the door to our condo open to let out the heat. Sometimes she will do that while I’m cooking too. It pisses me off because I prefer my privacy. I dislike it when I have annoying little kids in the hallway staring at me rudely while I’m cooking, and sometimes it distracts me because I will often have neighbors come over to engage in small talk with me.
- While watching the movie trailers of Deadpool on Valentines Day, the trailier of “Batman vs Superman” was showing. I told her that I really wanted to see that when it comes out. She then asked me, “Which one is Superman, the one wearing black?” I sarcastically told her yes and she actually believed it…. What a fuckin idiot.
- She still fucks up left from right. While in a taxi coming home from our shopping. She means to direct the taxi to take a left turn, but tells him “kanan” (which is right in Tagalog), then abruptly correct her to the taxi driver, “KALIWA, KALIWA, KALIWA!” How she fuck that up, Tagalog is not even my native language.
- Which reminds me from number 4, she even fucks up “Up and Down.” While leaving the condo together and taking the elevator, she still continues to press the “up” button by mistake when the only way out is “down.” This causes delays in us leaving the building every week.
- It annoys the fuck outta me how she prefers everything to come in sachets. Her Dove conditioner is the worst bcuz I constantly have to take a shower with empty sachets at my feet! I give her hell for that.
- She runs a private freelance ticketing agency, but doesn’t know how to book an airline ticket online. I pretty much do all the work for her, as much as I teach her it never sticks! She has been doing this for over 2 years now.
- Sometimes when I offer her food when she is hungry, she replies with “I want rice.” I then ask her “why?” then she says, “it makes me full.” According to universal logic, if you eat enough of ‘ANYTHING’, you will get full, but in Pinoy logic, ‘rice’ is the ONLY food that will make them full. So if I gave her 10 pieces of chicken she wont get full, but if I gave her a plate of rice she will be full? I never understood pinoy logic and it gives me brain cancer trying to figure it out.
- She thinks that rubbing alcohol is more effective on the underarms than deoderant. I bought her a bar of womans Deoderant and she still absolutely refuse to use it (its still just sitting there unused for 5 months). Many times before she tried to get me to put rubbing alcohol on my armpits instead of deoderant.
This list can seriously go on forever, and I really wanna keep it short this time. So what are your thoughts, will your significant other ever do anything like this, and if so, how would you react?Published in