Filipino Family Dysfunction: The despicable nature of Filipino children appeasing their abusive parents

This part of the culture will always defy all reason for me. It drives me mad how much “adults” in the Philippines use their “adult” power to manipulate, overpower and abuse their role as being a guardian. The irresponsible nature of these people show that mental retardation is rampant and will never go away. For a while, I have been able to separate myself from this brainless “culture” but being that I am in a relationship with a Filipino, I am reminded every now and then. You’ve noticed in just about every post I always put “culture” in quotes to show exaggeration. When I think of culture, I think of something to be proud of, something with substance, something deriving from intelligence, ingenuity, and triumph. That is what it means to me. Not cock fights, irresponsible breeding, abusing children for money, poor ethics, money moron tendencies, materialism, childish behavior, narcissism and shitty food. This is really all I’ve come to grasp and understand about their “culture”. The only positive side of the Philippines is the nature, tropical areas for outdoors, but you can’t tie that to culture really.

So, onto the subject of parenting. I’ve had a good long break, not hearing or even seeing my partners parasite pest  parents (because they are on the other side of the world) and I gotta tell you, it’s been liberating! But, since Filipino’s have such a devotion and subservient nature to their pimp parents, I get to hear about them every now and then and guess what question arose from my partner? “If my parents ever make it here can they stay with us?”. I just about puked, stress levels peaked, and my anxiety levels hit max. So you want to bring these ungrateful, no good, emotional black mailing scumbags here (with the NO money you have) and have me live with them? What a fucking stupid question. I don’t know why it was asked, and why I would even answer this? But being that Pinoy offspring excuse and love abuse from their superiors, it is inevitable.

I’m baffled the amount of dedication these people have to their parents and how they excuse every single bad action no matter how horrendous it may be. I honestly have come to the conclusion that my wife’s parents could have beaten her daily, raped her every Sunday and she would still put them at the top of her list of importance. In western culture (although not perfect) I see defiance, arguments, discontent and at least a little rebel in teens which I think is a perfectly natural part of growing up. When I was a teen I liked my independence and freedom and felt some of my parents actions were going in the wrong direction, and as an adult I still stand by some of my distaste for their parenting! For Filipino’s, they question NOTHING and allow ANYTHING and EVERYTHING their parent’s do. Even if they discover something disgustingly wrong and call it out, they will soon discard it and pretend they didn’t do anything wrong. For example: Last year I hear that my wife had some money kept with a friend in the Philippines. She wanted it kept there, so when she came to visit she would have some spending money. So somehow her worthless, degenerate father found out about this and went to this friends of hers and said “My daughter said that money you are holding for her is mine! So give it to me” and he went off and bought a little motor bike for himself. My wife never knew about it until some relative told her. Well guess what happened after that? My wife was initially disgusted and angry but soon after that it was erased from her mind. I brought it up one night and her excuse was “That was money he took from my sister, not me. He needed it so he could go to the market and get groceries”. So do you see the weakness of this excuse? Does it make any difference? The bottom line is, he stole money, bought himself a bike and didn’t tell anyone about it until he was caught! It doesn’t matter who it was from, what he was using the money for, it’s the fact he stole from his own blood! This is the kind of people she wants in my home? Fuck that.

The other occasion that puts a nail in the coffin for me, is their blackmailing and constant comparisons they make like “so and so got her parents this, and so and so got that” creating this value on materials and money as their only purpose, like they are only worth what they can give them! It fucking disgusts me. In an earlier post I mentioned, my partner had given them money EVERY GOD DAMN MONTH (even when she didn’t have it) for food and bills since she came in 2008, and one day they Skyped and told her “you gave us nothing!”. This is the kind of disregard these degenerate ingrates have for their offspring. This is not a culture, this is plain and simple, exploitation at it’s finest!!!

You wouldn’t believe this, but after all this abuse, including my wife’s sister crying because shes discovered they were pocketing much of the money she sent (which was meant for land) for themselves, they excused it all and started frantically packing boxes and boxes of goodies to appease their masters! I just couldn’t believe it! Sister comes to visit one day with boxes and fucking duck tape and they spend the whole day packing gifts for their abusers. What the fuck do I do? I try to intervene and ask “what in flying fuck do you girls think you’re doing? These people are ungrateful scum and you’re packing them goodies?” I know any disdain and legit criticism will be swiftly ignored. So it’s come a time where I just have to stand idle and watch the bullshit unfold in disappointment. Both of them are wasting money on these worthless ingrates and getting nothing in return for their efforts but “you don’t give us anything, you owe us more”.

This is a “culture” that claims itself to be based on family values. They scoff at us in the West and our dysfunction. You do the comparison though and the conclusion for better family life would be SUPREMELY Western.

A: You probably won’t have dirt poor, mentally retarded parents

B: You won’t have 6 brothers and 4 sisters and parents that can’t afford them(nothing wrong with that if the parents are middle class/wealthy)

C: You don’t owe your parents SHIT, because that’s part of being a parent! You decided to fuck and have a kid? You owe your child until he grows up! That’s your job! He becomes an adult, you fucking leave him/her alone! No rewards for fucking!

D: You get to visit your parents and enjoy their company without them expecting materials and gifts.

What could be better than that? There is nothing wrong with giving and spoiling once in a while. I do it with my boy, but if you raise your kid’s to do your bidding and base their value on how much they give, you are a disgusting, worthless individual who doesn’t deserve respect.

So, to put a Filipino’s life in perspective, it’s nothing different from being pimped. Most of these hookers here in the west come from broken homes, without a father or mother to raise them. They’ve been tossed around foster homes and then kicked out into the cruel world looking for love and providence, and find their sugar daddy pimp to “save” them from their despair. What happens next-she gets used and abused for money but doesn’t see the wrong in it. Being able to hand 90% of her money over to the pimp and have her pimp take care of her and “love” her, is of the utmost importance. That’s what this Filipino “culture” is truly all about.

Published in Filipino Stupidity


  1. Profile gravatar of Failappines

    Nail, head. You got it. Seen numerous examples myself. I believe it was Einstein who said insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Flips are insane!

    1. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
      Pinay Lover Post author

      Ups and downs mate. Things are going pretty positive for the most part. Her parents are on the other side of the world. If they ever visit here, they will have a couple month and then I’m swiftly giving them the boot out of here and will most likely never see them again. So I focus on that…..If I compare to others who have their shitty inlaws living in the same city, I really benefit from this. Also, my wife basically shut them off for money and they bowed down and showed respect saying “keep your money”. So, there are some improvements. If there was no family of hers in the picture, I think this would be a pretty dang good situation. Hell, her siblings are great, it’s just the parents that are the issue, and the life expectancy is 65 for most, so that means they don’t have much time left.

      Oh! On a side note. I love these fucking boxes they send them! You know why? Because none of this shit is actually really beneficial for them! It’s just junk food and useless shit that will shorten their life span! So I’m all for the boxes! Sure, hey, let’s add this toxic shit and this toxic shit….hey, MSG food and sugary sweets? Perfect! Lets add more of that!

  2. Profile gravatar of Angeleyes

    Great article Pinay Lover.
    When I did my apprenticeship I worked with a lot of Samoans, Cook Islanders, Tongans and Rarotongans. Having been bought up in a not so multicultural, provincial, life based on Western values the things I learnt turned my naive perfect little world upside down. The company I worked for had lots of Pacific Island workers and I made many friends with them often drinking and socialising outside of work and attending the many birthday parties of the huge numbers of relatives they had. Something that really stuck out to me is how demanding their parents are. A couple of younger guys would have their wages paid to their parents bank account and if they were lucky mum would give them $20 or $50 a week in pocket money. I also met quite a few who’s parents had put electric bills in their names when they were kids, with no intention of ever paying, and their credit ratings were so screwed by the time they started working they would change their names to get credit to buy a car or TV. The parents were always demanding money off their kids even when the kids had kids of their own and were struggling on their apprentice wages and who would get excited they can have some sardines or tuna with their noodles for dinner instead of just plain (true stories of people I knew). The thing that gave me the shits (I was young and thought I knew it all) is that the parents would just waste away the money and ask for more next pay time. The parents would buy new cars and fancy dresses so they could look the part when they went to church every Sunday and doled out hundreds of dollars to the church. I used to chat with them on smoko and would explain, gob smacked, how fucked it all is and was silenced a few times by my boss and told “They have a different culture son, shut up”. Then one day I clicked; in Western culture when we have kids we do everything we can for our kids. From the day they are born until they leave home, and often beyond, we bend over backwards to give them the best start in life so they grow up to be successful, well balanced, people. Do we ever ask anything of them? Never, a lot of people even help their kids when their older to buy a house or set up a business and establish themselves a good life. All in all we do everything we can so they can live a better life than we did. Sure there are exceptions but this is the way we raise kids in our culture. In the Pacific Island culture they were the opposite. When they had kids they owed their parents. The parents, often with low wage jobs and big families, would put next to nothing into their kids and press them into work as soon as they could leave school. I remember one poor guy who was going broke because he bought into a taxi franchise but spent most of the day driving all the family around for free. The young girls too were always eager to have a white boyfriend as they know we would tell the cousins and family to F off when they came bludging. Ironically, about 5 years later, my mate was doing his counselling degree and based one of his papers on the topic. The main conclusion was that this culture keeps the family poor and if we don’t invest in our kids a society can never advance economically to a first world economy. Is this a problem that is related to poverty? No it is not as many of the older generation (in the western world), like my Grandparents and some older members can remember, life was bloody hard in the old days . Many people really don’t understand the hardships they suffered but at the end of the day they pumped everything into their kids and over a few generations their decendants thrived and built some of the greatest nations on earth. The only way out of this situation is education and putting the kids first. I have said in past comments if you want to fix the Phils make education the priority and put everything into it, that is the only way to rid society of the ills they have now. BUt sadly it is an ingrained cultural trait and is near impossible to change
    This comment is getting long but the point is that just like Pacific Island culture, Filipino culture works where people are indebted to their parents and western culture is the opposite where as we do everything for our kids and never ask them for a thing. Until the Philippines changes their culture and mindset and puts everything into education (like Japan, South Korea and Singapore did) this attitude will never ever change and the Philippines will never ever move out of third world status.

    1. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
      Pinay Lover Post author

      I would argue it’s an abused culture. It was originally meant to be treated in higher respect for the successful relative who would make their way to the west, help a sibling or two come here and then bare no more responsibility, there on. Nowadays this tradition is completely spoiled and the successful one of the family simply becomes a host for parasite family back home until they die. I see it with my sister in law. She will never get married, wastes most of her money on these ingrates and by the time she retires she will have nothing but some cheap land in the Philippines. It’s amazing to me how the parents couldn’t give two shits about their offspring getting into eternal debt. I can understand that these people have no concept of the west and how the average person carries debt. They think we just have piles of money here. Thats no excuse though. My uncle worked his ass off and made good money, but even if I were out on the street I would not ask a cent out of respect. These people don’t respect their children’s hard work. The parents are so selfish they only think of the ‘hard work’ they had to endure raising their kids. And now ‘it’s pay back. I raised you, you owe me’ . It’s pure selfishness.

      People make their own future. You decide to keep fucking and no pilling out, you made that reality of ‘having to raise you’ for yourself. The child does not deserve indebted owings to the fucktard parents the rest of his/her life. This goes against the laws of nature. Parents raise their kids to succeed so they can prosper andeventually pave the way for their own kids. This isn’t a culture, it’s exploitation.

      1. Profile gravatar of Angeleyes

        I agree and understand what you are saying Pinay Lover but would argue that it is culture. Yes it is exploitation but it is also the culture. Many people say it is because of poverty and the parents have kids to help them when they are old but is it really because of poverty. An example I think of is my Grandfather, born in 1926, and the way he loved foods like sheep brains, cow tongue, ox tail and tripe. Leaving school during the Great Depression he was part of a generation who had nothing Even so his parents would strive to buy them a book or some paper and a pencil for Christmas. Sure they were raised piss poor but his parents did all they could to give the kids everything they could. Even though when he was older he ended up giving his mother a house to live in until she died, she never ever asked him for a thing and he used to leave money under the table cloth or in her pillow case for her as she would never accept it from him. So the idea that it is poverty related does not make sense and I am sure some older member here, maybe Al and Mike, can understand fully what I mean. Why was his mother like that? Because it is our culture, asking your kids for anything is shameful. Sure, you may make you kid pay board when they leave school and get a job or pay you back for a car you bought them but as much as we would love to let them have it we also need to teach them to be responsible adults, pay their way in the world and honour their debts. Now compare this to the Philippine or Pacific Island culture and it is the exact opposite. Even Pinoys who are well of due to their kids building them a nice house, a car and a Jeepney still expect their kids to pay their bills and it never stops. It is not poverty related it is culture. We could argue the toss all night exactly what culture means but surely you understand what I am saying. To us it is despicable, disgusting, horrible way to raise our kids but to them it is totally normal. I will admit it causes a lot of friction in my marriage and is taking ages for my wife to understand but after being scammed out of our house there, her parents and family can go to hell. Kind of glad we got scammed for the house, it may have cost me 700k but now I have an excuse for telling them to go to hell as I often cant be bothered explaining anything to her empty head.

        1. Profile gravatar of Mike

          Big difference huh? My mother was born in 1942 and her mother and father in 1909. Total she had 16 brothers and sisters. Grandpa worked the coal mines at night and hoed corn in the day. In 1947 he had the mine collapse on him and in 1948 he passed. Grandma passed in 1960. My mother busted her ass to give her kids the best head start she could give them and never asked anything from them. In later years she got lung cancer and went on disability and still never asked her children for a dime.

          I started driving an 18 wheeler and then bought my first then a newer one and would visit mom every chance I could. Mom had a ceramic tea pot she put her change in but would never take money from her children. I got into the habit that when I visit and she left the room I would put $50, $100, $200 in the tea pot without her knowing. That was every week.

          Back in the 90’s mom found out she had lung cancer and 2 months left and still never asked for a thing. Mom had oatmeal carcinoma which spread rapidly but she proved the medical world wrong and beat it for over 10 years passing in 2014 after it came back and spread to her brain. She did not tell her children and let nature take it’s course to spare her children the stress and financial burden. But before she passed she told me that she was ashamed to take the money I left in the tea pot but she needed it more than I knew.

          Yes, my mother was old school. Am I am more than proud to be old school. But even more proud that old school raised me.

          1. Profile gravatar of 30-30

            To Mike.
            My mom dressed like bag lady,,, but left a huge estate. I was raised old school too,,,, a 1950s redneck and proud of it,,,..

          2. Profile gravatar of 86andBelow

            @oldnavyfart I don’t mind admitting that brought a tear to my eye.
            My mum suffered with many health problems throughout her life but she never complained.
            She died last year after having to endure 4 years of hell. It was only at her funeral that I learnt that as an 8 year old child she had been told she would never walk properly…….at 10 she started ballet lessons and despite her disabilities she continued to love dancing throughout her life.
            As a teen she had the option to choose between straight, normal looking fingers that wouldn’t work or permanently curled fingers that wouldn’t extend. After that operation she started secretarial school. She also knit, sewed and did needlepoint until her final years. She apologized to my wife that she couldn’t complete a landscape that she started for my mother-in-law just before she died.
            She also worked in a naval base when she was 60ish and would regularly go to the gym to exercise on the running machine (although she could never run) to get her legs in better shape. She used to laugh and recount about how funny she looked next to huge marines who were pounding along at crazy speeds. She was.flettered that they all knew her by name and I’m sure that is because they could see how she struggled but were impressed by her heart and will to “just get on with it”.

          3. Profile gravatar of Donnie

            She’s such a lady. You are very lucky to have a Mom like her. I could tell the same thing about my Dad. We never really thought he has Lung Cancer til the time it was on Stage 3.

            He kept it all to himself all the time, though I know he smokes and he enjoys a good smoke as a past time. and I know in time it will have its consequences but I never knew it would be that soon. My Dad never asked any penny or peso from me even when I am working full time though I regularly give money to help pay the bills ( we were really tight at that time and he’s the one managing the finances cause he’s better in handling money than my Mom)

            Meanwhile, My Mom is an example of what everyone here is talking about though the parasites are not her parents (I grew up with my Grandma and she never asked for any money) but her sisters… now we’re talking.

        2. Profile gravatar of 30-30

          As an example of how the western world has changed,,, i used to get beer, cigs and cash on credit in a little country hotel,,,, yes,, they would bitch and man,, but still they would put the paper under the bar.
          Flash forward to now,, our little town has no police dept. , so the gangs tend to drift there. The bar got held up 4 times,, beat the bar owner up.. the only income he has is the slot machines, becauseu cant smoke in a bar Nymore.
          This is just one example of our western civilasation gone to hell
          I hte these tab,ets,, so my spelling is f&&^%%ed. Up

          1. Profile gravatar of 30-30

            Watch the you tube of popcorn sutton and his christmas…. notice the differencein our cultures beween now nd then

          2. Profile gravatar of Sarah

            “I hte these tab,ets,, so my spelling is f&&^%%ed. Up”

            Al, try and search if there are any “speech to text” apps for your phone. I downloaded ZenUI keyboard for my Asus Fonepad 8 (model FE280CG). The ZenUI keyboard has a speech to text function, that is, it types the words onto a screen as you speak. It works very well with Gmail and with FB messaging. Just watch the spelling though, coz if you don’t speak clearly, it prints the wrong word. I’ve had the word “rock” come out as *@#k!

            Apparently there is a Google speech to text apps for Samsung, but I have not explored it yet. In my opinion, ZenUI is very easy to use, even a half asleep dummy can use it effectively. 🙂

  3. Profile gravatar of hcbrennan

    An absolutely brilliant assessment and one that essentially spells out my own wife’s experience. The most astute observation is where you relate the Filipino culture to the South Pacific culture, because that’s what it really is. It definitely isn’t the ” Asian” culture that these folks claim it is. These guys are South Pacific islanders who have made their way to Southeast Asian waters. This is where visitors and future foreign residents make their biggest error. If you want to understand Filipino culture, before you come here, then study the South Pacific islander culture first – not Asian (and certainly not Roman Catholic) culture. Bravo!

    1. Profile gravatar of Angeleyes

      I read a while ago that the Spanish never thought of the Filipinos as Asians and always considered them Pacific Islanders and it was only when Winston Churchhill drew the boundaries for countries that he lumped that part of the world into South East Asia. The Filipinos showed very little in common with Asian cultures and did not share the language, architecture, traditions or customs of their Asian neighbours. I have been trying to dig up an old video I once saw but cant find it so here is another one. Watch this video and tell me are these people Asian or Pacific Islanders. To me it is very obvious.

  4. Profile gravatar of Idiotocracy

    Thread hijack… Does anyone know how much time is needed to transfer from Cebu Pacific to United going through the Hong Kong airport? Assuming the boarding pass is pre printed, can you stay near the gates or do you get herded through immigration? Been through once and had to go through immigration to get a Cebu Pacific boarding pass so I know how long that took, won’t make that mistake again. Need to visit next week then flying out the following week but connecting flight time is tight on the way out.

    1. Profile gravatar of snakebitbytheflips

      I would NEVER trust Cebu Pathetic (or any flip airline) for a tight connection to another airline. If you must go this way, at the very least, you should give yourself 8 hours for the connection. Good luck.

      1. Profile gravatar of Mike

        You mean you don’t trust an airline that has a plane take off with all the props and land on Mindanao one prop short? Then all the filipinos have to say is “We don’t know where it fell off. We did not know it was gone until we landed.” That happened about 3 or 4 years ago.

  5. Profile gravatar of hcbrennan

    I just showed my Filipina wife this post (copied onto an MSWord document). She freaked out and said that it was a “lie”. This, from an OFW who. after 16 years, came back to the Philippines with ABSOLUTELY NOTHING (I take that back – she did have some shampoo). ‘Nuff said…

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike

      Only the filipinos, no matter where they are huh? You can catch a pinoy urinating on your wall with his pecker in his hand and still streaming the golden flow and he will still deny his urinating on your wall.

    2. Profile gravatar of Mike

      Only the filipinos, no matter where they are huh? You can catch a pinoy urinating on your wall with his pecker in his hand and still streaming the golden flow and he will still deny his is urinating on your wall.

    3. Profile gravatar of Angeleyes

      It is just so amazing how even when presented with facts they will say it is a lie and this frustrates me big time with them. But then what do you expect from some of the most corrupt people in the world. They say it is their politicians who are corrupt and ruining society but no it is not, it is all of them from the president down. Hell I have even had 4 year old kids trying to sell me way over priced fruit. Why? Because I am white and supposedly rich and they are corrupt as shit. I could write a post on all the dumb shit my wife says. She will believe anything her mother tells her even when a 60 second google search will smash what she is saying. They are very closed minded people, learning anything new is just too scary for the average Flip.

    4. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
      Pinay Lover Post author

      She freaked out because she was shown the bad truth, and Filipino’s don’t like anything to do with bad truths. They will lie through their teeth to themselves and those around them and make believe until the bad truths are vacant from their mind. Try and get any criticism about themselves and their culture…..ANY-you never get any self criticism….nothing constructive. The best way to solve problems in the Philippines is first to admit there are problems. If they can’t even do that, it’s no wonder the country and it’s people are so fucked!

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike

      Ok, we all know how it goes, it’s like Ivory soap 99. 44/100 pure. Well the whole world can be the 99.44/100 about anything filipino but filipinos will claim the .66 is fact.

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike

      Don’t need to. Bar there just keeps insisting on showing us and the world just how stupid and blind filipinos are. Yes, it’s good that Duterte got elected. Now he is showing the world on the international stage just how fucked up, stupid and double faced filipinos really are

    2. Profile gravatar of snakebitbytheflips

      Nearly all of us on this forum know that a flip will deny everything, even if he/she is caught red-handed with twenty five high-resolution video cameras recording the act from every conceivable angle. Should any of use be surprised that Duturd is denying what he said?

  6. Profile gravatar of hcbrennan

    To Pinoy Lover – That’s a very astute assessment. It took me a while to figure that out, myself. After 2 days, my wife is still feeling the effects of being told the truth. I had to fake being ill for a day, in order to snap her out of it and redirect her focus. Amazing…

    1. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
      Pinay Lover Post author

      Admitting a bad truth about their family and their country will make them explode and argue until you just give up. There are no problems with them, their culture, their family and if you show it to them, they put their head in the sand and shame you for it. They are open to criticizing you and your faults as well as your country, while they reap your country of it’s benefits and stability.

  7. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    When my auntwas 80 years and living alone,,, she used to ride a lawn mower andcut her own grass for 4 hours. I used to given her heck for that
    Then ask your neighbors here if their roof is leaking???? o f course it is,, no budget,,, OH!!!!!!! What about theat sa miguel sitting in front of you every evening???????

  8. Profile gravatar of Sarah

    one day they Skyped and told her “you gave us nothing!”

    I just so detest those words… “you gave us nothing”. Mum’s low life brother, the asswipe, complained that we did not buy even a bag of rice after staying with them… in the house that Mum paid for. Yes, she paid for asswipe’s house, gratis. Yes it was true that we did not buy a bag of rice because we gave the assholes gifts, all expense paid trips to the city, expensive lunches and dinners, Mum paid for the asswipe’s designer clothes and finally, thousands of pesos as payment for the use of electricity and water. In hindsight we should have stayed at some hotel. Would have been cheaper and comfortable, minus the seven barking dogs and roosters and loud motorbikes.

    So now they can bitch till the cows come home that we don’t give them anything, because we don’t!

  9. Profile gravatar of Lester P.
    Lester P.

    News flash. Before I got kicked out of my apartment I got laid. A most interesting thing happened to me. I was barbequing and enjoying my last days before I decided to live in my car. Smoked leg quarters, corn on the cob, and baked beans. A maintenance lady (native American), had always been nice to me and said< OoooO that smells good. She gave me her apartment address and told me to come over that evening when she was off work. I brought the chicken. To cut to the chase. I knew her and spent the night. She told me to stay in the states. And her response was anything but demeaning to me. Not to mention she wants to come up here ( 4 hour drive), to see me. That is something I have trying to get away from, but it boosted my confidence in a positive way. I really am trying to settle down. Got the bankruptcy going, looking at getting work at the University, and still have the Pinay Skyping me, for some reason. The only thing I can devise in my feeble mind is that people love you when they want, or need something. Only God, and the Dog love you unconditionally.