Filipino Property Laws

Well folks,

I decided to post this so the naive expat/visitor, who has yet to understand the utter stupidity and immaturity of the flip, can start to realize what he/she will have to suffer through in the event he/she decides to stay in the “Turd of the Orient” for any length of time.

So…I present to you…”Flip Property Laws!”

(many of you may recognize this list as having come the timeless “Toddler Property Laws,” but given the fact that the average flip is much less mature than the average toddler, this is quite apropos)

1. If I like it, it’s mine.

2. If it’s in my hand, it’s mine.

3. If I can take it from you, it’s mine.

4. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.

5. If it’s mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.

6. If I’m doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.

7. If it looks just like mine, it is mine.

8. If I saw it first, it’s mine.

9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.

10.  If it’s broken, it’s yours (no, wait–all the pieces are mine)!

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  1. Profile gravatar of FAFI

    Incidences that happened to me in regards to number 1 & 2.

    1) If I like it, it’s mine.

    – My idiot wife decided to keep my headphones (that are American quality) because it looks better, works better, and because she likes it. (I plan to get it back eventually)

    2) If it’s in my hand, it’s mine.

    – Be careful with public transportation, especially taxi drivers. If the meter reads 78 pesos, and you give him a 100 peso bill, they believe they are not entitled to give you your change back, because they think that entire 100 is all theirs.

    Enjoy your time in hell everybody 🙂

      1. Profile gravatar of 30-30

        land titles are very bad in this country. b4 u buy land,, get a surveyor to map out the lot.. these simpletons will encroach on part of your land!!
        b4 u build,, ask all the neighbors about their concerns.. they will have headaches about the noise,,, dust,, and everything under the sun,the water buffalos will be dieng,,, especially if they see white skin involved.
        i was at naia last nite ,, hot!!!!!!!!, no aircon, coz of construction in this 1960’s era russian piece of archetecture,,, st raigth from the 60’s.. 750 pesos airport tax for years and no simple airon,, no fans,,

  2. Profile gravatar of Richard aka Dick Head
    Richard aka Dick Head

    Squatters/Illegal Settlers Ownership Law : So what if we have no title to this property and so what if we are not paying realty taxes to the city. We’ve been living (read : illegally occupying) this property for the last 10 years.

    Happened to me. I almost shot and killed these subhumans when they tried to resist our legal moves to recover our property.

        1. Profile gravatar of

          Oh so very true filofail…….demand every possible form of respect but without the slightest thought to another’s feelings. I see it daily in my own home. I can’t count the time my mother in law has taken something of mine and made it hers to send back home in a care package. DVDs, cameras whatever. The best we’re pictures on our own wall that her oldest son back home had seen while chatting to my wife on webcam one time and said how nice they were. Next thing I knew they were gone and I was told she didn’t like them anymore and took them down. Turns out, they were sent back there ffs.
          But if I happen to use a bit of Filipino peanut butter that the MIL likes, we have a 2 day sulk fest of how I’m eating her food. It is truly pathetic. I only hope I can handle things there on our upcoming trip. Most days I want to stab myself where my brain is.

          1. Profile gravatar of 30-30

            i would booby trap something that she llikes.
            or set up camcorder to catch her in the act,,,

      1. Profile gravatar of Marius O.
        Marius O.

        You wanna be careful with that. Some halfwit politician did, in fact, grant squatters a load of rights that nobody in their right mind would think is a good idea. Squatters cannot be forcibly evicted unless you “compensate” them and (get this) find them somewhere else to squat! In other words, the law says you have to assist them to break the law.

        Only in da pilipins.

          1. Profile gravatar of Richard aka Dick Head
            Richard aka Dick Head

            The government can call them INFORMAL SETTLERS for all we care. I can call the croc a saurian, but that won’t change anything, the damn croc is still ugly and deadly. What’s it gonna be ? Shit or Poopoo ? Who cares ? it still smells bad :=)

    1. Profile gravatar of

      al – these people are naive and stupid. Sometimes you need to do that. I’ve done that several times here in our place. It’s the only way to get their attention. When you load and point that gun at them…boy they listen quick!!!

  3. Profile gravatar of CebuBear

    Actually the Lima Law states that if you remove squatters then it is your legal responsibility to compensate them or find them alternate accommodation. This law was pushed through by Joey Lima, hence the name. Squatters are a major problem in many areas (see this article ) including professional squatters. They squat on government land, like along the national railway line, then the govt gives them title to the patch or they are given alternate land if the govt needs to reclaim the squatter area.

    So gangs, organised crime and of course corrupt govt employees and politicians pay squatters to occupy land they know is going to be developed and then they rake in the votes or a share of the compensation and so on. So much fun to be had! We have a couple of lots of beachfront and we fenced that, even though we are surrounded by relatives on three sides. Plus we insist if they want the bananas and jackfruit on the property they can help themselves, but pay a peso a time. Something to remind them it is not free.

  4. Profile gravatar of Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III
    Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III

    When I first started visiting the Philippines, I noticed many vacant buildings with signs on them stating “This property is not for sale” – often with the name of the owner and a contact phone number. I thought at the time it was kind of dumb.

    Fast forward to today, and I understand EXACTLY why property owners display those signs. Being the land of imbeciles and thieves, it is apparently not uncommon for property to change hands fraudulently. At least by displaying a sign saying “This property is not for sale” owners are sending a message to both both potential fraudsters, as well as prospective purchasers that they are across this scam.

    If I was stupid enough to own a vacant (or inhabited) property in this place, I’d erect the same sort of sign. Another Failippines fail.

  5. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    regarding building a building… never again will build a house here in flipland,,, every tambay will get off his ass and complain about something,,,oh and permits are subject to tong and bribes

  6. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    yes,, the neighbor wanted us to give a piece of our land so he could have access to his friggin lot.instead of him provideing his own space to his craphole…
    they will even steal the hand water pumps right off your proeperty
    i hope and pray i do not encounter these vermin in my own country or i will go postal on them,,,, fornutely they are only employed as hamburger makers and such low paying jobs.