Filipinos Born Into American Bodies. Is It Possible?

You might wonder why I chose such a title for this post. Well to be honest I was thinking of an American I met a few years back and came to know until late last year. Well this American I’ll call him “JOHN”, fitting I think you’ll see as the story goes on.

Well John came to the Philippines from Florida where he worked as a union ironworker. John draws social security disability because as he says “I’m a little insane”. John met this pinay online and came here with $18,000 where he promptly bought a Rusco, single for himself and gifts for said pinay and set up house. John later moved with this pinay to a city on Mindanao where he set up another house with this pinay, another American and the American’s daughter.

Shortly after setting this house up John girlfriend and the other American have John arrested and put in jail. This is how I came to meet John as I helped with getting a lawyer and the likes. While John was in jail the American and John pinay sold his Rusco, passport and other items. Now that you have a little background on John I’ll start why the title. John LOVES his hookers. He would often tell me where to get them, their names, how much they charged and if any good.

John also planned since he was a member of the iron workers union in the states, to set up and run a union for the city hookers. My wife at the time had built rooms to rent to students. John offered to fill the rooms up with hookers. Did I mention John LOVES his HOOKERS? Well as time goes on John charges are dismissed and John set free, finds a house to rent and moves in a pinoy he does not know. Several people warned John about this pinoy to no avail. So no wonder one day less than two weeks in the house John returns from the store to find his fridge, Samsung 32″ lcd tv plus the pinoy gone. John shrugged off the loss.

John would boast about being arrested several times in the states for various crimes. Now John has a new woman and they have a daughter and I heard she is pregnant again. Here is a man who ask for a loan of P500 so he can buy a micro sd memory card for his phone yet makes his woman pregnant for a second time. So here is why the title.

1.) John finds nothing wrong with committing crimes. Neither do filipinos.

2.) John chases hookers. So do filipinos.

3.) John makes babies he cannot feed, educate or provide health care. So do filipinos.

4.) John sneaks out of his house at 3 AM to chase hookers while his woman sleeps. filipinos are known for having many women besides the wife.

5.) John thinks the philippines is the greatest place on earth. So do filipinos.

6.) John thinks filipinos are the greatest. So do filipinos.

7.) John thinks filipinos are perfect. So do filipinos.

So is it possible that in John we have a filipino who was born into an American body in the U.S? Could the filipinos have found a way to plant pinoy sleeper cells inside of American bodies?

Published in Expats, Humor


  1. Profile gravatar of Sarah

    It’s called re-incarnation Mike! 🙂 I am sure most Pinoys would loved to be re-born in the west, to a white man’s body. Obviously, some succeeded.

    I’ve often heard Kanos say “if you want to make a small fortune in the Philippines, start with a large one”. 🙂

  2. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
    Pinay Lover

    John sounds like he has a poor background. I wouldn’t be surprised if he grew up in a trailer park where this kind of low life mentality is in the American world. If he did grow up in this kind of environment, it makes perfect sense that he likes the Philippines. It’s just a tropical version of a trailer park.

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike
      Mike Post author

      Pinay Lover,

      You’ll just love this. “John” is from the Tampa area and is half Spanish. His religion is Mormon. Now get ready for some “John” quotes;

      1.)”She is not a hooker if she does not charge me”.

      2.)” I will not have sex with a woman unless she is my wife. But if we have sex she is my wife”.

      3.) ” I am a warlock in the Mormon church as well as an ordained prophet”.

      4.) “My tee shirt is a special tee shirt that protects me from evil spirits”.

      As for number 2, I guess that means he is married to most of the hookers in town and other cities already.

      How did he meet his current woman? He was going down the street on his single and she was selling cutting boards for a store. Just happened to be her last day as contract ended. He bought a cutting board and told her if she gets on his scooter he will make her his wife. She got on!! So now he feeds her daughter from a pinoy, her, his daughter with her and got her pregnant again! He even told me that it was philippine law that he has to support her mom, dad, uncles, aunts- well the whole damn family since he is common law husband to her. He never did tell me who told him that. I did tell him it was false but don’t believe me. Yes I think he is a filipino in a Western body.

      He has two monkeys he keeps chained the way filipinos do. Three dogs that have complete access to the house. I went to visit once to discuss something with him and over by the tv was a pile of dog shit they did not clean up. So as sitting there, away from the dog shit as possible what happens? Another dog walks in a pisses and craps right there in the living room. John and his woman just watch but neither made no attempt to clean it up!! “Hey Mike, want to stay for dinner”? That’s what I heard.

      1. Profile gravatar of Spartacus_killingus

        It is clear that “John” has some serous mental issues. No wonder he collects disability.
        Warlock of the Mormon church, and ordained prophet of hookerology and mystical laundry.

        Next you will tell me he reads the future in dog shit smeared on the floor.

        So the premise is:
        In order for an American (In this case) to be a Filipino he has to be utterly insane.
        Therefore all Filipinos must be insane because “John” acts like them.

        Normally this would be considered purely deductive and faulty logic. But in this case Ill make an exception.

  3. Profile gravatar of Gerd

    When I told one of my acquaintances (a non- Filipino, Caucasian guy born in the First World, not of Filipino ancestry, with a Filipina gf; I’ll call this guy David, here) that I told him that one of my best friends caught her Filipina maid (here, I’ll call her Angelita) in the “with her hands in the cookies jar” (a kind way to say “stealing”… and of course, you can imagine my friend’s and Angelita’s reactions…), this non- Filipino answered “Your friend did very bad to scold the poor Angelita, maybe she was forced to do so by a very bad boyfriend”. I think also David absorbed some traits of the so-called “Filipino culture; it’s the case to quote this proverb here “those who go with the lame learn how to limp”.

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike
      Mike Post author


      The hands in the cookies jar validates something most of us here have said before. Filipinos are never at fault or do anything wrong. There is always a reason in their minds why it is someone else’s fault. I got in a debate with a pinoy about the pinoy habit of pissing everywhere, well he denied it saying they did not. Well he finalyy admitted they did but it was not their fault. What was his reasoning it was not their fault? Prepare to laugh.

      He said they piss everywhere “because the Spanish did not introduce toilets or the sewer system to the philippinos when they were running the country.”

      My reply was simple:

      “The Americans kicked the Spanish out in 1898 and they did introduce toilets and sewers to the philippines and in over 100 years the filipino still has not learned to use them.” I have seen them walk up to an EMPTY cr and piss on the wall beside it.

      1. Profile gravatar of Gerd

        Hi Mike,

        I’d call this behaviour “cowardice”…and I can understand if this Filipino/a would say “I know it’s wrong, but we have not so many working public toilets and the ones that are working are in a very very sorry state”…but to pull the Spanish in…c’mon! Not even my cat would “buy” it!

      2. Profile gravatar of Spartacus_killingus


        “Are not to blame fore anything”

        This is most correct.
        Bad social habits are not heroin addiction. If people see that they are doing something that is not favorable they can collectively stop it from happening.

        Just, because someone did something a certain way in the past doesn’t mean you can’t do something different now.

        But we are talking about the Philippines here. They will blame other people for what those other people see as socially unacceptable. This is because to Filipinos, they think they are right, I the honestly think they are perfectly within the realm of normality and everyone else is on the fringe.

        Why stop pissing on walls, that simply makes no Filogical sense?

        I had two guys outside my front door sitting on my chair burping farting loud talking loud and one actually PISSED on my front door. ITS FUCKING WOOD and he pissed on it!!!!

        His apartment is one over..He couldn’t be bothered walk 20 feet to piss in the toilet, he had to piss on my door?

        I call him out on it, and guess what? I am wrong for being angry. “Why do I not have a gate up around my door way ?… It is my fault.”
        ” I shouldn’t put chairs in front of my apartment, I should have a gate around my apartment section.”

        Nope.. It is ALL my fault this grown ass man pissed on my front door, my fault and also the fault of the Spanish.

        Do you see now? Do you see now why I had to leave that country man? IT was only a matter of time before I found myself in prison, I shit you not.
        With that kind of blatant stupidity and the shedding of personal responsibility someone was going to get hurt. I had to leave.

      3. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
        Pinay Lover

        A “debate” with a Filipino is never really a debate. It’s just giving hard evidence, reason, logic and having it stomped on, thrown back into your face and then ridiculed. On top of that, to add insult to injury, you are made out to be a monster, a racist, discriminator against Filipino culture and told to get out if they don’t like it. Or they just make up some bullshit reason that make them look incredibly stupid.

        For instance, I just had a “lovely” talk with my wife’s friend last night. My wife was totally on page with me, because my wife has more of a balanced opinion now being with me 5 years. Anyhow, me and her friend were discussing hospitals and nurses and why many of the Filipino native hospital workers are reduced to low level positions here in Canada. I told her simply, “the reason your people are reduced to lower positions is because your school system is BELOW STANDARD. Canada simply has higher expectations and more sophisticated procedures, therefore Filipino’s must retake school if they would like to be a higher level nurse or a doctor again.” Her response was simply, “No, that’s not it, our school system is good”. Where is the reason and evidence behind that statement? I again told her the reason, and my wife came in as well and also told her the same thing. The topic was changed pretty fast.

        What the fuck is with these people and admitting fault? I complain about my country all the time, that’s the only way you grow as a person, why can’t they? What’s the problem with admitting issues?

        Here is another weird example of an argument with a Pinoy. My wife was complaining that it was too hot today. I told her, “is would be cold in the Philippines, what’s the matter with you?” She got all defensive like I was saying something bad about her country. WHY? It was a fact, it was my opinion that was an accurate opinion. These people compute just about everything someone says as an insult, I swear…..their brains are somewhere else.

  4. Profile gravatar of Mike
    Mike Post author


    WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?? I should come there and slap you around a little bit. Why should the filipino piss on his door when he can piss on yours??

    1. Profile gravatar of Sarah

      SK, you are lucky that your low-life neighbor only pissed on your gate. When I was about 7 years old, we were visiting one of Mum’s Aunts in Cebu city. Now, this Aunt was living in an upper portion of an apartment, but the toilets were downstairs . I got up one night to get a drink, went to the kitchen…..only to see the Aunt’s husband in front of the sink – urinating in the sink!!! I fuckin’ kid you not!! Did he rinse the sink after the deed? NOPE!!!

      Come morning time, I refused to eat or drink anything from that house if it came anywhere near the sink! I told mum what happened that night, so we ended up having breakfast in a restaurant.

      1. Profile gravatar of Spartacus_killingus

        LMAO Sara!
        Why am I not surprised man. When I first moved to the Philippines the family I lived with used to wash their dishes on the ground by a water faucet that was about 5 inches off the ground in a corner.

        I never ate anything from the house for nearly two years because the house the 7 male members living there used that corner for pissing, sweeping dog piss and dog shit also. The wall was even stained a different color and it would get on the faucet naturally.

        In addition to that, anytime they got drunk guess where they would vomit? That’s right, in that same corner all over the faucet. It was the grossest thing ever. Not to mention Rats ran through the drain hole near there.

        One of those things about mainland Filipinos I never understood was how they are overly worried about being clean in one area, but in another they do just the most filthy things imaginable.

      2. Profile gravatar of Sarah

        EWWWW! SK, that is just sooooo disgusting!! Maybe someone can start a thread on Filipino’s filthiest habits? We can start with piss habits, spitting habits, etc…

        For a country with such abundant rainfall, I really can’t understand why they can not maintain clean toilets!

        Ever tried going to any food court toilets? Half the time only 1 – 2 cubicles are working, and the Janitress are flat out mopping floors, which I must say is a safety hazard, anyone can slip anytime!

        And oh, you are not allowed to drop the “dirty” toilet paper onto the toilet bowls in case it blocks the pipes! That’s because when building these toilets, they use small pipes to cut costs!

        So, back to the “soiled paper” – what are we supposed to do with them? Drop them on the bin next to the door! Do these have lids? NOOOO!

        I’ve lost the number of times I’ve used toilets in shopping malls and Doctors/Dental clinics and while doing my business, the “soiled” and sometimes “bloodied” tissues and sani pads stare at me from an often overflowing bins! There goes my breakfast… that’s why I always eat first before I leave home, as often I lose my appetite after visiting one of these disease infested “CRs”.

        “CRs”…. what a misnomer! It does anything but comfort me. It makes my stomach churn, it makes me lose my appetite and it makes me depressed, worried that I might have caught something while trying to wash my hands… which I sometimes can’t do because there aren’t any taps/faucets working, or the water is down to a trickle and no soap! That’s why I now carry alcohol wipes with me wherever. Better than nothing.

        And when there are working taps, you can’t squeeze in to wash hands because they’d be full of Pinays preening themselves. Putting make-up, wash face, pluck and re-shape eyebrows (I kid you not!), it is often easier to just wash your hands with alcohol somewhere!

        And oh, ever noticed how many Pinoys leave the CRs without washing hands? Let me tell you guys, there are plenty of Pinays that do! Hope they’re not the ones who were preparing food….

        I often wonder what is the real statistics on Hepatitis rate in the Failippines?

      3. Profile gravatar of Spartacus_killingus

        Here is a chart showing hepatitis around the world.
        Many times when I am in the mall I would hold the escalator rail or run my hand along the rail on each floor as I walk. Only afterward I would catch myself and remember that’s filthy.

        Worse yet, I would do that then go with my girl friend to get something to eat (Usually hand food) type of snack, and pick it up with my fingers only to remember where my hands have been.

        I am very surprised after all these years of living there, I didn’t contract something.
        I don’t mean that in a sexual way, I’m not the “sexpat” type, I’m referring to just general filth from cabs to JEEPS,.. Jesus I just though of that one, those rails in jeeps, omg… LOL

        Also, have you seen these booths they have on the street for pissing? It’s essentially for urinating under cover but it doesn’t go anywhere. Just onto the ground drains off into the sidewalk. Walking on Filipino sidewalks is like some precarious temple scene from an Indiana Jones movie.

        Stepping over huge gaps full of who knows what, slippery toxic waste making traction difficult. Large parts f the side walk completely broken away into holes over a meter deep. Poison gas coming up from the sewer, rabid rats and roaches crawling every where and dead animals; natives peeking at you from behind walls and columns. Now, you have to quickly maneuver all this while being chased, except instead of a rolling boulder it is a bunch of speeding motorcyclists riding illegally on the sidewalk disregarding your existence.

        But, yeah its just amazing that I didn’t get deathly ill or simply die. I dodged a bullet there huh? haha..

        Ill try and start a thread about Filipino filth habits, good idea.

      4. Profile gravatar of Mike
        Mike Post author


        I too carry the baby wipes but do everything I can to avoid crapping when I leave the house. But nature sometimes does not cooperate as I’m sure you know.

        Well one day my wife and I took our son to the playground then to Chow King to eat then nature decided for me that this task would not wait until we returned to the house. So to the”CR” I go, very fast, get in line and wait my turn as I was taught to by my mother. Well very soon there is a couple of pinoys waiting behind me as I am next in line, the door opens and in I rush. One because of line cutters but more importantly Mr. Bowels said I better move my ass fast. Close and lock the door (a one seater cr) and get pants down as fast as I can while wishing I super glued my asshole shut because it is a coming.

        So pants down and barely assume the position when,,,, well you know RELIEF!!!! But what happens? I’m not even in there a minute and the filipinos are banging on the door and trying to open it even though they saw me just go in. Well they kept up the knocking and trying the door knob the entire time I was in there as I’m sure you have experienced. So now time for the clean up, after all no job is complete until the paperwork is done correct? Still the knocking and I’m wondering if they ran out of walls to piss on. So that done up go the pants and turn to send my donation to the philippines through the pipes and still the knocking and trying to open the door.

        Now my mother taught me manners but I figured if these filipinos want to be rude so can I. I just walked out, looked at the next in line and told him you wanted it so bad it’s all yours. Well I get back to my table and say nothing about what happened when my wife’s niece gets up to go get some silverware and napkins. Where? By the CR! She comes back and starts talking to my wife and they both look over at the cr, now I have an idea what is being said. Filipinos did not take their time in this cr I can assure you. Even the tables by the cr started complaining about the fragrance of the aroma. Well I could not help but to grin a little which the niece spotted and then she started laughing as she pointed to me so my wife would know who did it. Yes I did and told my wife why. Everyone at our table started laughing at the chaos unfolding before us.

        Revenge is sweet saith Mike.

      5. Profile gravatar of Mike
        Mike Post author

        By the way. There was no exhaust fan!! We moved into this apt and son went to the cr turned on the light and an exhaust fan turned on. He just looks at the fan, looks at me and said he’s glad it has a fan.

      6. Profile gravatar of Spartacus_killingus

        It can always be so bad you will do it just about anywhere.
        I had to get my NBI clearance in Manila at the NBI building. I was fine all day until I left and that’s when it happened. That sudden feeling that you try to deny but deep down, you know what the score is.

        So we get in a cab and start going back (during rush hour), as we pass business after business I keep thinking about just using a restroom real quick, after al it isnt that bad.

        The problem is, when you have this sudden onset of trouble, thinking about it only makes it worse!!
        Within about 20 minutes I went from passivly uncomfortable to Grinding my teeth, sweating, and trying to be the HARD CORE army guy I know I can be.

        “This is nothing, I can deal with it.”

        “Suck it up little bitch, get you mind right!”


        “Omg, this is impossible..SHUT UP, this shit aint nothing!”

        “Damn it I thought the word “Shit”..Just amplified my problem!”

        I soon realize that THIS moment is the worst time I have ever had to go in my whole life, and that Im actually not a tough guy, Im a little whiny child who would do almost anything to find the security of a bathroom.

        We get about half way point to home around Trinoma Mall and I say we need to go to trinoma because this is an emergency.. So the guy turns and I see the road. Traffic backed up for about 2 miles.

        I am praying..Please don’t make me have to get out of this cab and run to the side of the road to take a shit! please, please!!

        Needless to say, I managed to control myself until we got to trinoma where I actually found an almost empty bathroom, clean, and I stayed in there almost an hour.

        BUT……In those moments before that when I was on that long road, had it been one iota worse than it was then I would have taken any CR. Hell I almost dropped my pants right there in the side of the road and yes I did think about it. Some potted plants facing traffic in fact.

        LOL..Can you imagine that? The foreigner shitting in a large potted plant on the side of a main highway? LOL……YANKEE GO HOME!!!

      7. Profile gravatar of Spartacus_killingus

        By the way. There was no exhaust fan!!

        Regarding that, What is the deal? They say they have “architects” design and build homes, but in my former house there was zero ventilation and the pipe that normally goes out of the roof to channel sewer gas, was channeled into the room itself and was open about 8 inches high.

        The house shared a septic tank so that part of the house was so bad you couldn’t go in it. It smelled like poison gas. The only window was glass block, no opening , no nothing. That to me is like running fumes from your cars exhaust back into the window with garden hose.

        WTF is wrong with those people?

      8. Profile gravatar of Mike
        Mike Post author

        My wife is of the business mind and always thinking about setting up this or that business. Well she had a sari sari and laundry business years ago and employed about 6 people two of which were husband and wife with one son about 6 years old. Well in a case like that if they prove to be trust worthy and reliable we might let the child come and stay as the couple were stay in. So we decided to let their son stay and see how it went. So one day I’m standing in the front door and the son is standing beside me when they ice cream man comes down the street, the one who carries the cooler.

        Being the nice asshole that I am I go ahead and buy the kid an ice cream, what’s 5 pesos anyway right? So the guy asks the kid what flavor then proceeds to get it out of the cooler while the kids mom watches. What does the kid do? Whips out his pecker and pisses on the vendors feet!! Yep, let loose the stream and moved his pecker back and forth to make sure he got both feet good and wet! What did his mom do? Breaks out laughing while her son is doing this and the vendors eyes start to squint as I know he wants to spank this kid. Blame him?

        Well kid gets his ice cream and mom just stands there. I had to tell dip shit mother to get some water and wash the vendors feet. So I guess they are taught to be rude, ill mannered, self centered and cruel from an early age.

  5. Profile gravatar of kalbo

    Some of the better filipinos I have met on my travels have been the ones with absolutely nothing. These are the guys that go through trash in the middle of the night and sort it into plastic, paper and metal.

    Then they actually sweep up the remaining crap and leave the street as it was.

    If you help these guys out by putting an empty can or bottle in their sacks usually they will say thanks.

  6. Profile gravatar of Sarah

    Mike and SK… you guys are cracking me up, I am laughing so hard here in this cold Sunday morning in good ol’ clean Oz! 🙂 I don’t know if I can beat your tales, but I’ll try. Gotta go feed the body first so the mind will work properly . But please keep it coming, LOL!! 🙂

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike
      Mike Post author


      Here’s one that happened back in the states. Not about a filipino but it involved my dad, his Chinese wife and myself. Well dad owned 4 houses at the time and would often ask me to come and help with house repairs, work in garden and other hose related tasks, this was one such day. Well all three of us are in the back yard weeding the veggie garden, picking veggies, mowing the grass and such. When done we cleaned up then dad and his wife drove me home 20 miles away and on the way we stopped to eat.

      We walk into the crowded restaurant and get a booth, dad and his wife on one side and me on the other. Orders are placed and we start to eat and I could not believe what was going on with dad and his wife, embarrassing it was. They were sitting there eating, smacking their lips, making slopping sounds, chewing with mouth open and were so loud the other tables start looking over at ours. I’m the only one with table manners it seemed. Well sitting there I felt something rumble deep, deep down and make it’s way to the one way exit down below. Don’t let it out I said to myself time and time again, it’s impolite.

      Then it struck me. Why not let it out? Dad and wife not worried about manners so here it comes, the SBD (silent but deadly) fart. I know when it hit dad as he looked up from his plate straight at me, his wife did a few seconds later when she caught a whiff. So I go on eating like nothing happened and letting loose with the SBDs with deadly effect. This I know because when a fresh one made it’s appearance it did not stay at our table but made the rounds for the enjoyment of other diners who kept looking at dad and his wife every time the air got freshly scented. So we finish eating and leave with dad and his wife leading the way and me leaving another calling card as the other diners looked at dad and his wife with blame in their eyes for the SBDs

      After all if they were that rude in eating then they would also fart at the table right? That’s what the other diners were thinking and it did not help that I was pointing at dad and his wife shaking my head left to right as they walked in front of me. Nothing like getting revenge and someone else get the blame for it.

      1. Profile gravatar of 30-30

        any drain hole around the house is an excuse for a flip to piss into.
        Even if th e cr is 3 feet away, somehow is feels better to piss on the floor all over the place, the to use that new tecnology with the water and a u tube to keep the stink in the sewer…
        do not egt me into flip movies,,,
        #1 never buy a tv for the bedroom… u will go to sleep and wake up with flip movies,,,,u knwo the ones with 10 machine guns firing all over the place and only the bad guys die…


  7. Profile gravatar of Mike
    Mike Post author


    Here’s one that mystifies to this very day. when done watching tv the filipinos will turn the volume all the way down, turn off with remote, unplug tv for wall or extension cord then push button on extension cord so little red light goes off.

    1. Profile gravatar of kalbo

      I think lots of filipinos have strange ideas about electrical items generally. There are all kinds of myths floating around about what uses the most electricity.

      Maybe that’s because the PI has some of the most expensive electricity prices in the world. We all know that’s due to corruption and just about every viable power station scheme that they came up with was never completed because someone ran off with all the money!

    2. Profile gravatar of Spartacus_killingus

      Im not certain that your profile pics you or not. If it is you then you look like you know more about electricity than me if you are allowed to climb a pole.

      Some years ago I was sitting at my computer and in walks about 4 pinoy family members. They have a plastic package of piattos or some potato chip that they have cut and shaped into a square.

      They proceed to push my desk back as Im working on it and ask me to shut off my computer,

      When I ask why, they tell me they will just tape this silver plastic wrapper around the bottom part of the cord . That is to say, about 1 inch up from the plug part, wrapped around the cord.

      Now, I watch them do this asking again what the significance of this is supposed to be.
      They tell me that it saves electricity, yet they can not or will not explain how this is supposed to work even when I press them; they just get aggravated and demand to do it.

      Here is what I “thought” I knew.

      1. while everything does have some conductivity, Plastic is one very poor conductor.

      2. Just because plastic looks metallic, doesn’t mean it is. (NOT mylar)

      3. Even if it were metal, what would wrapping it around the cord do? The cord has thick insulation.

      All I can figure is that the “metal” which was plastic, was supposed to slow the electricity down,…. somehow.
      It really makes no sense to me. I could be 100% wrong and they are electric geniuses. But they didn’t even seem to know why they were doing it.

      Any idea what this is about, I can’t find info on the internet.

      1. Profile gravatar of Mike
        Mike Post author


        That’s not me on the pole but and uncle on my mothers side. He was USMC during Korean war. After he got out he started working in construction in the midwest. While working on a building in Feb 1073 he fell from 6 stories. Man was a blast to be around. I thought not only a tribute to uncle but also symbolic of the website, gets us as high as possible out of the filipino bullshit. When it comes to electricity the only thing I’m an expert at is getting shocked.

  8. Profile gravatar of Gerd

    I have 2 more examples of “Filipino minds in American (or in my specific case) European bodies: the people I’m going to write about seem to personify some bad traits of Filipinos:

    1) disastrous overbreeding
    2) “Help me, help me” + sob story
    3)if YOU need help for some reason, “well, it’s your problem”
    4) incapacity of managing money correctly
    5) coming from a poor background and if they put some money away, giving him/herself the airs of a king/queen
    6) living on their family charity
    7) once you can’t give money or do favours for them, they stab you in the back, spreading malicious rumors.
    8) irresponsible behaviour with pets

    Example #1:

    A close relative of mine (I’ll call her Vicky here) comes from a poor background. Her family was such in a bad financial situation that if my mom wouldn’t have bought groceries for them, Vicky would have starved; if my mom wouldn’t have paid Vicky’s rent for kindergarten, Vicky would have remained in that hovel that she called home (she grew up in the European equivalent of the South Bronx; my mom “pulled some strings” so the local council finally gave Vicky’s family somewhere more decent to live; hadn’t my mom bought her presents for Xmas, she would have found nothing under the Xmas tree…According to her family, “holiday” meant “visiting cuz Gerd at her seaside home”…these visits were the only holidays they knew for years. I think you got the picture). Well, luckily Vicky’s parents both worked (a low-paying job, but they worked), they had the sense to think that “education is our top priority for our daughter”, so Vicky finished high school, got a job a later married a decent guy. Vicky’s husband family bought them a house with 3 bathrooms, 3 bedrooms, a garden, etc and now Vicky put on the airs of a queen. When I was in dire straits because of an abusive relationship (thank God I managed to walk out from it and thank God I had some savings apart, because to quit my ex, I also needed to quit my job, the city where I was living in, etc, because, according to what the cops said “I was at serious risk”, so they advised me to move “almost six hours of driving away from your abusive partner”), I came back to my home city and Vicky invited me to her place just to brag about her house, children, husband, berating and belittling me in every possible way. (Well, just to let you know, when my former partner once called me every name under the sun in front of her, swearing like a trooper, she didn’t move an eyelash ). Afterwards, I moved abroad (“wise move”, according to the cops) and I was lucky enough to land a job in a field I know and I like (in TV productions). Well, things seem to go well…One day, Vicky writes me on Facebook and says that “one of her friends needs help for her college thesis about the media industry”. I replied “Well, Vicky, tell your friend to put her B-side on a plane and then we can talk” and then Vicky put on a sourpuss (do you call it a “tampo” in this blog :)? Then, she insulted and me for everything I wrote on FB, every occasion was good to throw a virtual fight, so I blocked her (and also my mom was shocked when she saw what she wrote). Well, I came to know that she was pregnant again and I wrote “Does it seem that I care?” on FB so our friends in common clearly saw what I thought of her. The baby arrives and it’s the dead of the European winter.
    My mom calls, she says “Vicky’s baby is sick, he needs a warmer, drier climate, Vicky asked me if she can spend a little holiday with you, so you meet also her new baby…” I replied “Mom, tell Vicky “Big, huge, fat HELL NO. Next time, she learns not to treat me like trash. Does she brag her hubby is rich? Fine, let HIS family provide the holiday in the “hotter, drier climate” for the brat.”

  9. Profile gravatar of Gerd

    Example #2:

    There was a colleague of mine, I’ll call her Eliza here…Well, Eliza worked with my productions quite often and saw that my situation with my ex partner wasn’t good at all. He treated me like trash also in front of her and I reacted. Eliza said “Gerd, you are too impulsive, you should enrol in a yoga or meditation class” (well, I think every reader of this blog would have gone BALLISTIC for MUCH less…Eliza showed me the first clue of Filipino attitude in an European body).

    Then, she lived in a 70 square meters apartment with her partner and 3 kids and she adopts a dog. Ok, that’s nice from her to adopt a puppy, but the problem is that she and hubby worked all day and “the children couldn’t walk the dog, it was a big dog”. The aforementioned dog was a hunting dog…I don’t think it makes sense to adopt such a big dog that needs space and movement, if you live in such a small, crowded apartment. And the eldest kid is 13, she can take the dog out for a walk after school, she’s not invalid. On the contrary, she was quite plump, so a bit of walking would have done her a world of good. Once the situation between me and my ex was so bad that “in a murky and cold winter night” (an European winter…), I packed up all my stuff and left. While I was driving, she called me sobbing that his youngest child had a earache, what I could advise her, and things. I replied “Eliza, this time I can’t help you, you have to help me.” I just asked her if she knew a hotel (I didn’t even asked her to take me in!) and she threw a major attitude calling me a selfish b*tch, I didn’t care about a poor, sick kid, etc (well, ehm, and who cared about me when I was in dire straits? A big, huge, fat nobody).

    Well, after a while Eliza says that she lost her job due to downsizing (as far as I knew the boss there, he replaced her with somebody else he knew…a bit like the “compadre” system in the Philippines) so she and her partner decided to move abroad. Ok that they moved to her hubby’s original nation and she spoke the language, but she never even visited the place and she made a total mess while preparing the moving (some things they sent never arrived, she didn’t know that the kids also needed passports so they missed their flight…Filipino-like organization, I think).

    Things seem to go well, she posted on FB pictures of food, drinks, sunset on the beach, etc (like many Filipinos do at Starbucks and Boracay, it seems to me I read here); whenever she contacted me, Eliza bragged how she hit the jackpot and whenever I needed someone to talk to, due to my divorce, it seemed that she always had sthg else to do “right this minute”. Well, I also move abroad and Eliza seems eager to talk to me, to know what I do, and bla bla bla.
    I tell her that yes, I work, and Eliza wants to know how big is my apartment, how much I earn, if it’s difficult to move to the nation I live now (this reminds me quite much of the Filipinos I read here about). Well, I answer to all that questions, “smelling a rat” already. When I “digged” in Eliza’s thoughts a bit more, I found out:

    1) she was in some sort of financial mess about which she never wanted to share the exact details with me (like many Filipinos do when they mess things up and expect white people to help them…). All her family ended up completely broke and Eliza’s family had to ask money all around the neighbourhood to buy the whole brood the airplane tickets back to Europe.

    2) She wasn’t sure of her partner anymore

    3) She adopted other 6 dogs and she was “brokenhearted” at the thought of abandoning them (I think that she should think twice before adopting every stray dog she sees…dogs also cost money for food, vet expenses, sterilization, etc)

    4) Cherry on the cake, she was pregnant again with her fourth kid (irresponsible Filipino-style breeding)

    Eliza asked me if she could move with all her brood to the country where I lived, if I could sponsor her to get a job for her and her husband, to take her and her family in, “we’ll sleep on the floor” (I think this blog readers heard this sentence, already, quite many times…), I’m ready to do everything, even washing dishes in restaurants and pick fruis…”. I explained her that her idea was completely impossible, as here the “sponsorship system” doesn’t work, and to move here legally, either you are the registred partner of a citizen of this state, either your family was originally from here (sthg like the “ius sanguinis”…). And guess what she said? “Ok, then I’ll meet some guy on the Internet and tell officials he’s my bf”. I replied “Officials will check you and your potential partner exactly like in the movie “Green Card” and if you lie, either they deport you, either you’ll rot in jail here. And who will take care of your kids you, Santa Claus?”.
    And I added “If, let’s imagine, you manage to arrive here and you scrub floors and your husband washes dishes in a restaurant, you won’t be able to support 4 kids decently…what will you do, live on charity or do you think I take you in and live like a 70s style commune? Poor kids, moved here and there like packs…it’s not good for their emotional stability, as well”.
    Again, this idea seemed me quite Filipino-style…swindling the law and building up impossible, unrealistic scenarios and thinking that just because you live abroad, you found some kind of Eldorado.

  10. Profile gravatar of Gerd

    Example #3:

    My ex partner had a 20sthg daughter, I’ll call her Cathy here.

    Cathy didn’t even finish high school, if she landed some kind of odd job always thanks to the “compadre” system, she came to work one day yes and 3 days no, because she was often getting over her previous night hangovers (reminds me of many Filipinos after too much Red Horse, rum, of whatever they drink and she considered these jobs “temporary”, because she seemed to like music “too much”…many musicians, before becoming stars, also worked normally and tried to do their best), and she always went around asking everyone she knew “Can I borrow 10 euros, can I borrow this and that…” no need to say that “Can I borrow?” meant “give me this and that” (and be sure you never saw your money or things again because “she was distract, she didn’t know where she left it”, poor thing…).
    As no one wanted to hire her anymore because of her attitude (even if you have an odd job, as long it’s honest and decent, respect it, it’s always a job and a source of income), of course she couldn’t afford to rent a place of her own anywhere, so of course she lived with her mommy. At home, Cathy didn’t lift a finger to clean up her room, or cook, she sat on her PC or with her lazybum friends all day.

    Well, I told her many times that many famous singers were discovered singing or playing in piano bars, marriages and pubs; she did so for a while, then she quit because it was “too tiring, as she had to stay up all day/ all night” (Well, also Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, Madonna or some other singer or performer is quite busy, when he/she is on a tour…) and if you really want to do sthg in the entertainment business, you have to work hard on many things; your performances, your voice, your way of playing, your contacts…You don’t become somebody by just sitting at home, waiting that sthg arrives from the sky…
    And it happened quite often that “she quarreled” with Mom, so my partner “invited” her to our place for a meal…and, like many Filipinos, she didn’t like this, she didn’t like that…I would have understood if she was used to eat in the finest restaurant, but all she swallowed were: pizza, French fries, Haribo gummy bears and booze (and then she complained about her gastritis all the time…a bit like many Filipinos, that they eat a lot of junk food and then complain about their poor health).

    Once my ex and me went on holiday and he “installed” Cathy in our apartment so “she could take care of it, so thieves won’t come in”. You can imagine that the apartment looked like a Navy Seals training camp after that week and Cathy didn’t even lift a finger to clean up the mess (and her dad defended her…). Once we were moving house, and Cathy started her whining “Can I borrow, can I borrow, can I borrow” (in the middle of a moving, so imagine…) I said: “Cathy, you want money? Work it off” and I offered the same amount of money a professional mover would get; and she curled her nose and said “Too tiring”. My relationship with my ex also ended because his attitude towards his irresponsible daughter, so I can understand why so many Western men have such a lot of problems with Filipino families…