Scotch Tape. What would idiot Filipinos do without it? I’m sure a significant portion of Scotch Tape profits come from the massive use of it in Philippines. Order a meal to take out, and you get home with everything sealed with tape, even the fucking paper bag it’s in.
I used to love to play with Scotch Tape when I was like 5 years old. I used to tape everything! I loved getting my hands on a roll of Scotch Tape when I was a child. But I grew up. Seems these complete Filipino idiots just never grow up. I have to always keep a pair of sissors by my bed (that’s where I eat most of the time), because the food always arrives taped up as if it was shipped halfway across the planet.
It’s become a ritual. Get myself all comfortable, ready to eat. I got my fork, spoon, and sissors all set up. I start by ripping the 3 strips of tape that’s holding the paper bag closed. That bag isn’t re-usable anymore. It’s all torn up. Then I pull out the soft drinks with the criss-crossed tape over the lids and straw hole. Snip snip….. Then out comes the burger. I could almost toss it across the room and if it didn’t have tape, it would still stay shut. That’s how good they make the burger boxes these days. But Filipino idiots love to tape things like I did when I was 5 years old. You would think about a 1 inch length holding the top and bottom closed would suffice. NOPE!! The stupid fucking Filipino has to wrap the entire box around North and south and east and west with Scotch Tape. Then the little side order cups with snap lids are all taped together in a stack too. What the fuck?
The stupid fucks can’t uphold anything resembling corporate standards. The fries are ALWAYS either undercooked or overcooked, the bun stale, obviously been sitting under the warmer for at least an hour. And they’re ALWAYS out of something. I can never place an order without a “Sorry sir, we’re out of stock on that item.” But boy they sure do focus a lot of attention on sealing every-fucking-thing with wads of tape tape tape tape tape!! They NEVER run out of stock on Scotch Tape! Fucking idiots!
By the time I’m finished UNTAPING everything, I have a baseball size ball of spent Scotch Tape. There’s nearly as much tape as there is food.
The plastic twine isn’t enough for the pizza boxes. The imbeciles have to tape all 3 unhinged sides of the boxes closed as well with a 12 to 15 inch long strip of tape on all 3 sides. Then they string it all together with that plastic twine shit they use and tie in a knot that my mother couldn’t even get out.
What the fuck is it with Filipinos NOT WANTING YOU TO GET ANYTHING OPEN???Published in