There is an ancestral belief amongst Filipinos that God tried a few times to make Man out of clay. The first try cooked too long and came out too dark. The second one was undercooked, and was too light. The third one made him smile because it came out just right. And that’s how they believe the Filipino came to be.
I, however, have a different theory. God loved having sex with angels. When he fucked an angel that was strong of back and limb, birth was given to those who were strong and dark of skin. When he fucked an angel that was bright and intelligent, birth was given to those of light skin and quick of thought. But one night he got drunk and decided to fuck the most stupid angel in heaven. Realizing his mistake at the last minute, he pulled out…but not before he shot his load on the side of her leg. Before he could catch it, his sperm rolled down her leg and fell to earth, where it landed in a pile of shit. Thus, the Filipino was born.
Ok..hey…I have a lot of fun laughing at the bullshit that goes on around here. I really do. But like a huge ass zit on date night, you just know something’s going to come around and piss in your cheerios and ruin your day. Today handed me one such moment.
Ok, it’s bad enough I had to do 3 hours of driving in Manila traffic. Even saw taxies playing tag with each other. Meh. Nothing new there. The bullshit actually started when I got home and checked my news. My jaw dropped, my heart sank, and I realized not just the usual amount of stupidity that lies in the Filipino mind, but the incredible cruelty that lies in their hearts.
These stupid motherfuckers are so ignorant and cruel, they actually go out of their way to break the law just to be cruel to creatures that, by my calculations, sit higher on on the evolutionary ladder than them, but are just more helpless to defend themselves.
What am I going on about? I’ll let the following video explain it all for me:
What you just saw isn’t made up. These fucking goddamn monkey faced idiots like to throw a mare in heat in between two horny studs..keep them away from her until they’re good and pissed off, then make them fight to the death!
And that’s not the end to their cruelty. The fucking training alone has them tie a rope to a horse’s neck and use a pulley to make them stand on their hind legs for long amounts of time to “teach them boxing”. They also use goats as practice against the horses.
And when a horse loses a fight and has the audacity to still be alive? Killed. And the ones that aren’t killed die in about a week due to internal bleeding from the rear kicks.
Oh yeah…it’s also against the law on both a national and local level….but…you guessed it….even the vice mayor has shown up at them and given the opening address.
You know..there are times when I start slipping…thinking there’s some kind of silver lining to this place. I start thinking I might go see some of these beaches and actually believe that the bullshit is mostly in the cities.
Now I know it’s all bullshit, and that bullshit is spread everywhere. There is no regional areas of stupidity. It’s an inherited disease inhabiting every corner of their motherfucking shrunken brains.
And if you laughed at the start of this article, and now you feel like ripping some heads off some Flips, now you know how my day is thanks to this.Published in