Santa Rosa, Philippines October 2010, am in the morning. My pregnant wife woke me up telling me the water back just broke and she is about to deliver. I grabbed my one year old daughter and the bags, including clothes as well as all the necessary paper works for the hospital. Well aware and well prepared for the insane morons in the private hospital, I started my car 5 Minutes later.
15 minutes after the water back broke we arrived in front of the hospital “Emergency Trauma” Entrance. We were just getting out of the car when suddenly the hospital door opens and a male nurse rushes out.
Male nurse: “Yes po”.
Me: “My wife is laboring and needs a bed for her to lay down”.
Male nurse: “Sorry po, we have to ask for a down payment of 5000 PhP only first”.
Me: “Get my wife a bed and bring me to the front desk and I will pay the down payment”.
Male Nurse: “Yes Sir, but you have to pay first before we can admit her”.
Me: “Are you nuts? It is 4.30 in the morning, my wife is in severe pain, my daughter is sleeping on my arm, I have bags in my hand and my blood pressure is rising to 200. Now, give my wife a fucking bed and then bring me to the fucking front desk.”
Male Nurse: “OK Sir, I bring her to the station but then you have to pay the 5000 PhP”
One minute later my wife was laying on a bed and I went with my daughter to the front desk.
Front Desk Pinay: “Sir, our standard rules in our private hospital……”
Me: “Please Ate, don’t give me that shit now. How much you want – 5000 PhP, right?”
Front Desk Pinay: “Yes Sir, 5000PhP only; because as I mentioned earlier our rules…..”
Me: “Miss, can you do me a favor. I give you 20.000 PhP – but please shut up. I don’t need your empty words 4.45 am in the morning. Let’s get this done so I can take care of my wife and my daughter”.
Front Desk Pinay: “Sir, 20.000 PhP is too much you only need to pay 5.000PhP because our standard rules…..”
Me: “The normal delivery in this very hospital costs minimum 40.000 PhP. Since I do not want to be asked every five minutes for money to buy a fucking napkin or a “Lucky Me” soup I will pay in advance. That does not necessarily mean that I do not want to be asked for permission first – clear?”
Front Desk Pinay: “Yes Sir, enjoy your stay….”
After the money was placed on the table –the “rats” came out of their little shit holes.
Rat 1: “Sir, You daughter is so beautiful can I hold her”
Rat 2:”Shall I give you a hand that bag looks really heavy”
Rat 3: “Sir, you like a coffee”
Rat 4: ” Sir…….”
…. I was almost vomiting from disgust!!!!
After my wife was admitted I was informed that all standard rooms are occupied (what a coincidence). Only the “Super Special VIP President Bachelor Room” was available…. – what a surprise!
Anyway, I did not want to share a room with a Filipino family, so it was OK for me to have a single room. In addition, I was much too tired to have another argument with one of those brain dead dimwits and went with my daughter to sleep in the hospital room.
No Kidding. All possible papers I brought to the hospital, including:
Meralco (Electric bill), Water Bill, NBI and Police clearance. SSS, Cedular, Cemar, Phil Health, Health Care. I even brought my contract of lease and my German driving license, ATM Card, Credit Card…..
Just to be prepared for anything unexpected coming along the way ….. And it did come along.
The name and all information needed for the birth certificate were printed out on a paper in “letter size 14” that the dumb shit typist can read it clear and properly.
4 (!!!!) times they needed to revise the birth certificate before I accepted it.
Letters were missing, wrong birthday implemented, wrong Family names….
The “funny” part – those idiots do not have computers. They are typewriting all of those birth certificates. Making a mistake means that the typist has to start all over again and again and again – monkey style!!!!
2 days later we were about to leave the hospital. I went down to the cashier to pay the final bill. Knowing that “Phil Health” will pay 6000 Pesos out of the 40.000+ PHP bill I had my cash ready.
Cashier: “Sorry Sir, your money is too less the bill is 40.000+ PHP only.
Me: “Yes Miss – please deduct the Phil Health and it will match”.
Cashier: “I cannot do that Sir, you are not member of Phil Health”.
Me: “[Getting my Phil Health Card from my wallet and putting it in front of her face] How does that look like for you?”
Cashier: “Yes Sir, but during the time your information were logged in our system there was no “check” on the check box for Phil Health members”.
Me: “Whatever, I am right now in front of you, presenting my Phil Health Card. Deduct the 6000 PhP and then I am out…”
Cashier: “Sorry Sir, that is not possible. Due to our standard processes, you cannot be applicable for the Phil Health reimbursement as long as the box is not checked.”
Me: “I arrived in this hospital two days ago at 4.30 am and presented all my paper work to the clerk. If she did not check the fucking check box then she has to pay the 6000 PHP.”
Cashier: “I am sorry Sir, but that lady in the front desk is new and a just started one week ago… blah blah… trainee ….blah blah blah……”
Me: “No problem, than the hospital suppose to pay the missing 6000 PhP if they put a trainee in charge of admitting patients….”
Cashier: “No Sir that is not possible. Due to our standard rules and regulations….”
To make a long story short. It took me 8 (!!!) month to get finally the money from the hospital Phil Health section. I and my wife were every week going there to follow up. Stupid, dumbshit, ignorant morons!!!
By the way, that was one of hundreds issues I were facing in the Philippines. I left the country a couple of years ago and headed home and I feel sorry for everyone who has to live in that trash can full of rats and idiots called Failipines….