Globe Telecom Uses New Term “System Enhancement” – Same Crappy, Incompetent Service

So I bought one of Globe Telecom’s pocket wi-fi devices 3 days ago. But I was told it cannot be activated because they are undergoing “system enhancement”, but will have it activated within 24 hours. Bet you can guess why I’m writing this post.


I called after 24 hours to ask why it’s not activated. Guess what they told me; “Sorry sir, we’re undergoing system enhancement. Your device will be activated within 24 hours.” And I could just see the blank stare happening on the face of the complete imbecile on the other end of the phone line when I told the brain dead idiot that is what they told me 24 hours ago. So now it’s another 24 hours?

Called again 24 hours later. Had a major case of deja vu.

So I like to look at the positive side of things. At least this gives me something to feed my blog.

The next day I make a trip down to the Globe office. I was in a complete state of irritation as I so often am in this country, and I was just way too frustrated to hold back. Here is what I told them:

“So I know you brainless lie spewing turds love to use fancy phrases and cool sounding slogans, but you forget one thing: TO ACTUALLY DO WHAT YOU SAY!!! Three years ago it was “system improvements” every week that I called and complained about your pathetic unreliable service. Last year it was “system upgrading” every week when I called to complain about your pathetic unreliable service. Now the new fecal matter that projectiles from your mouths is “system enhancement”.

But what you don’t realize is, for the 3 years you have been “improving”, “upgrading”, and “enhancing”, your service has been the same shitty, pathetic, disruptive, unreliable RIP OFF that it remains today. I would think that all this “upgrading” and “enhancing”, there would be at the very least some measurable, slightly noticeable improvement. I am here to tell you that all your enhancements, upgrades, and improvements do NOTHING MORE than inconvenience the customers. Maybe if you did less “enhancing”, you could reduce the number of times you have to say “sorry sir”!!!!!

The level of utter incompetence and complete ignorance to anything remotely resembling customer service in this pathetic country boggles the mind and goes way beyond anything I could call human. I’ve never seen a country of people be so god damned “god fearing” and at the same time be so fucking dishonest and corrupt. Lies spew from your mouths as easily and freely as diarrhea flows from your ass after eating that pork and chicken you left out on the table all night long.

Published in Blatant Stupidiy, Filipino Customer Service, Globe, Utility Companies


  1. Profile gravatar of Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III
    Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III

    I think I’ve finally given up trying to deal with these fucking imbeciles. PLDT is nothing more than a special sheltered workshop for people too fucking stupid to make it into an ordinary sheltered workshop. I know from experience that it’s exactly the same at Globe. How they can find so many mental defectives and gather them in the one place is still a mystery to me – even given the monumentally high mental retardation factor in the Failippines. I’m sure that all job applicants for Failippines telcos have to fail a literacy test before getting the job, as well as proving that they have an IQ below a certain cut-off point. I’m guessing about 70. The telcos then train these retarded, robot-drones to read from a script-go-round, designed to do nothing more than apportion all blame for any problems on the customer, and ensure that any persistent callers simply abandon all hope of trying to get the service that they are paying for. Both PLDT and Globe are little more than criminal enterprises – designed to fleece customers of their hard earned cash – and provide as little service as humanly possible. Just another Failippines fail!

  2. Profile gravatar of heyjoe

    The only thing about this story that would have surprised me is that if it was actually activated within the 24 hours that they promised you. It is so totally shocking how a business can so blatantly lie to its customers without any remorse what-so-ever. Do they have courses in their business colleges here that teach students “How To Fuck Over Their Customers?” Do they graduate with high honors by learning the secrets to deceitful and dishonest business practices?

    1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
      Captain PFB Post author

      Virtually EVERYTHING is ass-backwards in Philippines, and it begins with their filogic (absence of logic) and their inbred sense of entitlement to be stupid, ignorant, and lie through their teeth. Customer service doesn’t improve, because nobody here knows what real customer service is. When any company sets up a customer service department, it consists of employees who cannot do a fucking thing about your problem. Any customer service department in Philippines is merely a firewall to protect the decision makers and policy makers of the company from those who buy their products or services. Because the only contact with the company that customers have is with brainless, unconcerned idiots who have no power or authority to do a god damned thing about your problem. They are simply given a book of protocol and terminology to rattle off to the customer.


      Always courteously begin with “sorry sir/ma’am, but…..”

      Then proceed to feed one of these lines of utter bullshit to customer:
      1. We’re undergoing system enhancement.
      2. we have a national advisory of a problem.
      3. I will forward your concern to the appropriate department.
      4. there was a power outage
      (and the list varies depending on the company, but it’s always generic bullshit)

      If customer asks to speak to someone who can actually do something about their problem, tell them one of the following lines of pure bullshit:
      1. I’m sorry, but the manager is in a conference (NEVER EVER offer to have someone who can actually do something to solve their problem call them back.)
      2. I’m sorry but the manager is on vacation (and there’s never a manager to fill in, leaving the fucking place without a leader).

      This “wall of protection” between the general public and the idiot who’s in charge is an institution of business in FAILippines. “Customer service departments” are simply a way to offer more empty lip service to the customer. Their main purpose is NOT to serve the customer, but to serve and protect the criminal imbeciles that manage, run, and make decisions within the company.

  3. Profile gravatar of mike-test

    Not surprise at all. Fuckin failipenis. Recently my wife was duped huge amount of inflated peso shit, though I clearly positively know that it will and I could probably stop it from happening but for some reason I didn’t. Maybe because from the back of my mind I want her to learn a very very hard lesson and I want to be able to say “I told you so” and I want her to open her eyes and stop arguing about me on how I see failipenis and how I don’t trust them even if they are kamag anaks”.

  4. Profile gravatar of mike-test

    The fucking whole country is mega fuck-up, the filipinos are fuck-up, culture is fuck-up, the politics is mega fuck-up, their intelligence is a mega major fuck-up! Even the food which they though are theirs originally – in actuality its a bastardize chinese, malay, thai, indo, spanish mix-up. Phil used to have nice natural wonders but of course its now destroyed, abused, overly commercialized. Even cost of living is rising up like crazy for the past years. No saving grace.

  5. Profile gravatar of FAFI

    Fucked up culture? I’m surprised that you admitted they had a culture….lol. Everything that is exposed from them has been stolen from other cultures. Even their language has many stolen words. Some of their words can’t be translated so they just steal our words and fuck it up. For an example: English aka the original word- “Academic.” Now take that word and fuck up the spelling and you get- “Akademik,” which is suppose to be academic in Tagalog. Same goes for many other words, all they do is fuck up our correct spelling and call it “their word.” Look at all the other shit they try to copy and fuck up? Our “Ritz” that comes in a Red package with the Yellow font in front of the blue oval, well guess fuckin what! They have “Fita” that was designed the same way, but tastes worst than Ritz. Same with our OREO and their Cream-O, they copy off of EVERY-FUCKIN-THING!!! Take America, then drop 50 trillion gallons of shit on it, that is what Philippines is. Just a fucked-up version of America. They try so hard to be like us, if they do, then should try to copy our intelligence and our gift of common fuckin sense!!!
    As for their Business School, now I’m curious of what they teach in their business subject here, there is a business course at the college I attend here, I should go there and check it out. Just to give you a heads up, these filipinos acts like out of control fuckin idiots in all my classes, so I don’t expect much different from the business department students. I’m taking Law Enforcement (Criminology) here and they are suppose to be the most disciplined students in the entire fuckin school, well guess what, they are FAAAAAR from that. I personally have to babysit them and give them demerit points if they misbehave and act up in class. And when they actually do behave (by some miracle, I reward them with little gifts like they are fuckin 5 year olds. Sad, but true. I have record of all the fucked up idiots in my class that I report to my department head-teacher monthly. This was just my way of putting these fuckin idiots in line. They are waaaay too out of control and insane for me. You wont believe how often these fuckers are either late, out of uniform, or misbehaving in class. They cheat like crazy too. These are the things I grade them on. It’s quite pathetic that a student has to do a teacher’s job, but what choice do I have if they wont maintain class discipline? This country is so fuckin hopeless.

  6. Profile gravatar of Mynaaa

    You’re not alone. Lots of my friends suffer from shitty internet connection from Rogers in Canada (I’m Canadian-born Filipino). I think Japan, South Korea, Singapore and some European nations have better and competitive internet server providers. Faster and cheaper than US and Canada. Watch this video.

    More information about ISP in the PH. I’m not sure if you knew it.

    In short: Oligopoly.