You know…I was just about to go to bed. I really was. I was laying down, waiting for slumber, and then like an idiot I looked at Flipboard. There, in my news feed about the Philippines, was another one of those lame suck up articles some clueless newbie writes up about how wonderful the Failippines is, and how we should connect with the culture! Oh, I know this isn’t the first, and it certainly won’t be the last, but this idiot took it to the next level. I just had to assert mah athoratay, and pimp slap his ass back to reality in front of all his admirers. Yeah…I admit it…I did it for fun as well. Gotta keep the attention whores in their place, right? So let’s have some fun with what this moron had to puke out. Speaking of puke, I HATE HATE HATE this guy’s formatting. It’s like he’s addicted to the color grey. My apologies for the weird formatting…just only so much I can do without retyping the whole damn article.
Well let me tell you:
- Just about everywhere you go, beautiful women will stare, smile and giggle. Come to think of it, many men will do this as well.
- Filipinos and their bags are fully screened at security checkpoints, but if you’re white, the checkpoint officers will smile, ask “how are you doing today, sir?”, and wave you through without ever checking the contents of your giant, suspicious backpack. (How could a white person possibly have bad intentions?)
- Taxi drivers will automatically stop when they see you walking on the side of the road – whether you flag them down or not…then they will look at you like you are absolutely crazy when you tell them you’d prefer to walk.
- Speaking of taxis, if the drivers see you waiting next to a taxi queue full of Filipinos, they will often bypass the Filipinos and pick you upfirst.
- They won’t do it for Filipinos, but drivers will stop so that YOU can cross the street (it seems that hitting a white person is every Filipino driver’s worst nightmare).
If you land a job in the Philippines, you can be half as qualified as Filipinos, and still get paid twice as much.
You have instant credibility, and are an instant celebrity just about everywhere you go.
Point by point….because that’s how we do things around here:
- The only place I see them giggle and smile at the sight of you is in the KTV bars and the red light districts. Either place is going to cost you if you want to see more of those giggles and smiles.
- This is not out of respect. This is out of fear of nosebleed. They just don’t want to deal with you. I still get the occasional female guard groping my ass, though. I’m sure it’s something she can brag about to her grandchildren…she actually touched a foreigner’s ass!
- We all know why taxi drivers stop for us. It’s because they think we don’t know our way around, and they can drive aimlessly, blame it on traffic (I know a shortcut!), and overcharge the fuck out of us.
- See above point. Plus, Filipinos are cheap and often don’t have money for a cab anyways. They just want a ride to a jeepney stop halfway there.
- This moron apparently hasn’t tried getting a job around here. There’s actually a law that says you cannot be hired for any job a Filipino can do. Guess what? They consider Taglish to be good enough to get the job done! You’re nobody special here, but you damn well better have that work permit. Oh, wait…no company will give you the documents you need to get one, let alone pay the 8k pesos needed for it.
- No, you are a walking ATM machine. They really don’t give a damn about you, but they’ll treat you like gold and then ask for a tip. Maybe he means those friendly MMDA twits who love to stop you for “swerving”, a violation that actually doesn’t exist.
But wait! He could have stopped there. He SHOULD have stopped there. But like a bad morning after, the vomit just keeps coming and coming and coming….
Sounds good, right?
Well, yes…too good. Foreigners – especially white foreigners, are treated like kings! The problem is that they can become quite unpleasant when they get used to this treatment…and start acting like kings.
Foreigners Behaving BadlyI heard a story which, unfortunately, is entirely believable. At a friend’s bar in Cebu, a very drunk foreigner walked over to a group of Filipinos and tried to talk to a pretty girl who was with her boyfriend. Despite the fact that she was already with a guy, the drunk foreigner demanded that she get up and dance with him.
She politely declined and explained that she was there with her boyfriend and their friends. That was simply not acceptable to this foreigner – he refused to accept that she wasn’t interested in him. After all…he’s white, right? Again, he demanded, and even tried to drag her from the table onto the dance floor.
When she firmly yelled “no!” to him, this jerk actually had the nerve to take his beer and DUMP it on her!
This is what I’m talking about – the kind of mentality that some of these guys develop in the Philippines. I had to leave Cebu because this sense of entitlement sickened me so much. I didn’t feel like I fit in with the expat community there.
Ok, so this guy’s problem is that he witnessed an event at a bar….an event that could happen at ANY bar…and slaps a table of “Entitled Foreigner” on it. Like there aren’t drunk idiots in other bars around the world. Nope, only Foreigners in the Philippines, apparently. My take on it? Damn fucking right we’re entitled. We have brain cells, and we’re not afraid to use them! In the land of idiots, the ones with the brain stems are kings.
And yet it spews more….
They Should Be Held Accountable
There is a certain mayor in the Philippines who is known for being tough on foreigners who behave badly. He backs up his word, too – he will just deport them! I applaud this man. Foreigners should have to abide by the rules just like everybody else – and not get a free pass in the Philippines.
Well, gee…what Expat expects he can just go anywhere and do what he wants? Foreigners don’t come here with that attitude. But let’s get real about this mayor…he’s the same guy that plasters his “achievements” in running Expats out of town all over every walking bridge and tarp sign he can get his hands on. He doesn’t have a stiffy for the Expat,and he’s not keeping the law. He’s drumming up votes.
A Message to Foreigners: This is Not Our World
We must understand that this world was not made for us. For example, if the commuter buses in the Philippines had more legroom, it would be wasted on 98% of Filipinos who don’t need it. There would be less people on each bus, longer wait times at the stations, and less profit to distribute to the drivers and employees.
“No, I didn’t come to the Philippines to mold and shape the culture to my liking…I came to observe and appreciate it – to find my place in the Filipino world. “
This would be on that 16 hour bus ride that’s overpacked with Filipinos coughing and wheezing over you, driven by an idiot that thinks he’s driving a Honda Civic? The one that will only stop twice for a bathroom break, and only allow 5 minutes for everyone to get that done? And believe me…IF this was our world, there would be a LOT of fucking changes. This place would actually resemble normal to the rest of the world. There would BE legroom in the buses because there ARE both short and tall people (even Filipinos!), and instead of focusing on jam packing as many idiots into a bus to maximize profit, we’d focus on safety and comfort. However, if you’re looking for your place in the Philippines, then good luck. I’d suggest you keep your eyes more on your wallet, cell phone, and any other valuables you carry around.
If You Don’t Like It, You Don’t Have to be Here
I remember watching a youtube video that a foreigner made after living in the country for 3 years. He ranted and complained about all the ways the Philippines was “backward” and “disgusting”. This video made me furious, because after all, this sleazy guy was here for THREE YEARS! Why stick around and complain about it for 3 years when you can just leave after 2 weeks?
My guess is that he enjoyed the economic advantages and attention from young girls. Afterward, he enjoyed the staggering web traffic generated by angering the “social media capital of the world”.
Of course, the Philippines also has its share of decent, respectful foreigners, but for the rest of you, please don’t forget that you can always go home. In fact, I’ll show you to the airport.
Ah yes, THAT old chestnut. If you don’t like it, then leave. Like this twit has the ability to speak for every Expat out there, why we’re here, and what we do here. In fact, he just loves to make assumptions about it all. For reference, the video he mentions is called “20 Things I Hate About The Philippines”. It was a candid video done by an amateur director that pointed out things like holes in the streets, men urinating everywhere, the horrible bathrooms with no toilet paper, the constant blaring of horns, etc. Everything in there he had video evidence of. What this asshole forgets to mention is that the guy had to take down his video and make an apology video…not because he felt bad…but because he got so many death threats from FILIPINOS. As we all know, Filipinos love to criticize, but can’t take a bit of it themselves. They also love to overreact by issuing death threats…well…those scooter drive-bys ARE pretty cheap! I hope this guy loses a transmission to one of these uncovered sewer holes here. I hope he gets a tremendous rash on his ass because he couldn’t wipe. I actually hope every item on that list of 20 comes to bite him in the ass. Would love to see his followup article then. Meanwhile, here’s the video he was referring to. Every word is gospel here.
If You’re Dating or Married to a Filipina…
I always find it sad when a foreigner’s Filipina wife is impressed with my (limited) ability to speak Filipino languages. These women are impressed with very little, because after years of being married and living in the Philippines, their husbands barely even know how to say “thank you” in Filipino.
Perhaps due to the way they are treated in the Philippines, these men don’t feel the need to learn the language or adapt to the culture at all. Perhaps they just expect the culture to adapt to them.
If you are involved with a Filipina, I beg you…please make an effort to connect with her culture. For goodness sakes, this is your wife…possibly the mother of your children.
At the very least, you will help to lift a barrier between you and her family, and as I’m sure you know by now, family is everything in the Philippines.
Filipinos have opened their homes, hearts, and minds to us. The least we can do is treat them with the respect they deserve.
Oh God…where to start? Fuck me….I’ll be writing here all night just to address that one! Please guys…help me out in the comments. I just can’t take it anymore! I’m laughing too hard! AHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAA!!!!! Medic!