I know, I know. Stop rolling your eyes and get reading.
- Get in. State destination. Prepare for battle.
2. If the driver does not know destination then ask him to consult his map (BLANK STARE) and get out…
3. If the “meter is not working sir” hit the 2nd buy to the left and claim you’re the son of Dog and its their day for a “miracle”….You only do one “miracle” a day, so therefore the “miracle of a tip for good service” will not be forthcoming.
4. If the driver states, in their customary graciousness, the fare is “one fifty sirrrrrrr” (for a journey that is normally one hundred), READILY ACCEPT and thank them. When you arrive at your destination give them the ONE fifty peso note that they asked for and watch their confused little perfict spiiking inglish faces get all bitter and twisted.
5. Get in. Driver drives off……. Then, 500 m up the road the demand for 500 or whatever silly figure they come up with. Reply without accepting. Continue journey for a short distance and look for a petrol station, 7/11 or other. Ask them to stop for a cola, get out and tell them you do not require their services further, but thank them for saving you money by getting you closer to your destination.
6. And my favorite. Get in. Get immediately asked for an outrageous fare. Get out. When getting out leave the door open. If you get further abuse, open the back door as well. If the driving professional continues his verbal torrent, open the back door on the driver’s side. At this point of the proceedings look around and acknowledge the laughter and merriment of the locals by taking a bow!! 🙂