Irritating the Irritators!

Does anyone here do as I do to amuse themselves?

When I have reached my wits end dealing with flippers I have been known to play with the ignorant twunts for my own amusement – a self medication of dishing out their medicine if you will.

One of my favourites is standing in the supermarket with my trolley (cart) in a queue. Then, when the shopper in front moves forward I don’t move an inch. Now, as you are more than patently aware and even before I go on to explain, this causes the flipper behind me to experience immediate distress: “JESUS he has left a trolley distance between himself and the person in front that a) needs to be filled, and, b) can be filled by me.”

So, after a little anxiety filled period of xxxx nanoseconds the flopper (flip shopper) decides that they are entitled to the gap in front of me, for some inexplicable cultural reason i.e. rudeness, and proceeds to sneakily push their trolley past me. However, they did not take into account that this foreigner was playing them at their game and, just as they are starting to steer into the gap, I casually and very slowly push the trolley forward closing the gap. Et violá, flopper is left hung out to dry feeling silly and I silently LMAO.

Does anyone else do such things (I have plenty more) or have I just got an odd sense of humour?

Published in Cultural Rudeness, Humor


  1. Profile gravatar of

    well i used to hate how rude customer service people were… id just get rude back and tell them that is a poor attitude to take with customers… without them you wouldnt have a job…customer service in phillipine yeah right

  2. Profile gravatar of tambok

    That is so good!!! It also drives me nuts when they start staking there stuff up behind me when I’m at the cash register before I even have my stuff on. Sometimes they even start bla bla bla to the cashier who is trying to deal with the customer at hand. So bloody ignorant and stressful. Always always push push push in everything they do from driving to talking…… What I do sometimes, you know when you ask for something at a store and then you wait for them to get it, but then ten seconds later, anything else??? I say if I wanted something else I would have asked for it!!! And then when they bring it they don’t tell you the cost, you have to ask them, how much? So sometimes I just pick it up and start walking out. Then it’s sir you pay! Then I still wait for them to tell me the price. WTF??

    1. Profile gravatar of


      Same experience here why do they start packing their stuff whilst at the cash register behind me, it’s not yet their turn. Fucking irritating. I have been to other ASIAN countries and never experienced similar retardation. Fucking rude.

  3. Profile gravatar of tambok

    I have one for you.
    Where I am the roads are one lane each way and quite dangerous. I drive a motorcycle and the menace are the car drivers. The safe speed is 40 50 60km max. So I am cruising and these pushy pushy maniac assholes get up behind me from doing a 100 plus and get ready to pass. So what I do is speed up when they are passing so they can’t make it and then I slow down when there is oncoming traffic. They are so fucking crazy! So then the horn and flashing lights start. I love it, assholes.

    1. Profile gravatar of

      Driving in Manila blows my mind. I thought you had to have your wits about you in Sydney but this is something else.
      As much as I hate to admit, the traffic system in our area actually works. There are soooooo many vehicles that a traffic light system is not appropriate but when the enforcers are on their game they get the cars moving. I have seen enforcers who are useless too and the trafic is kaos. This leads me the assumption that when done right it can work.

    2. Profile gravatar of FilamboredinthePH

      I fucking hate those assholes. They think because they bought a million peso truck they deserve the right to drive it at full speed everywhere. Hey bro it sucks you have that awesome Toyota truck in a city without the infrastructure to drive it the way it was intended but that doesn’t mean you can start driving in the middle of the road like you’re a fucking scooter just slipping through. Also if you obviously aren’t going to be able to motherfucking pass anytime soon then get back into the lane and let the people on motorcycles through!

      1. Profile gravatar of Hey Joe
        Hey Joe

        There is one Highlux in town missing a drivers side mirror for pulling that stunt with me. And folded in at least 3 more.
        I almost went off the road with laughter watching his mirror spinning down the pavement.
        Got to love the old trucks sometimes, made of steel vs these new plastic cars.

    3. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
      Don Quixote

      Mark that’s Russian Roulette on a Bike.
      I used to own a diesel van with bull bars front and back it was old and cheap, that’s when you have fun with those assholes.
      It used to drive the child bride nuts.
      My fault I was causing problem !!!!!!!!!! What the fuck overtaking ten cars and trying to push in to a line of traffic is in the right ???????????????
      To get a bit even without detection I would wait leave a good sized space in front of me until I could see one on their way in the opposite side and coming, then I would close the gap, the asshole behind me would being a flip automatically close that area.
      Ive had two head for the bushes to avoid a head on.
      They were still there later when we returned trying to get their brand new pick ups out of the ditch.
      Fun Fun Fun. and sneaky with it, so the Child bride didn’t see anything.
      Now she drives, she naggs me if I leave any gap , which I immediately or slowly close depending on whats coming.
      She has no idea what a side mirror is, if I’m looking there its a big secret.

      1. Profile gravatar of

        Hey Don, I hope you don’t ride like they do in MM. The favorite trick is to overtake on the gutter side where the speed bump has a gap. They zip through there when the car in front slows and when I come out of a side street, they just about T bone my car. Happens when I take the kids to school so often. Overtaking or passing in the gutter is sooooo dangerous.

  4. Profile gravatar of loco_loco

    The trolley game is great….i will give it a try…. I am doing that fun with the taxis at the malls… its often that the malls have after 6pm no taxi a lot of flips are standing outside and waiting for a cab….just when the taxi stop i will go behind their back and jump on the seat and give them a smile. the cab driver wont say anything because I am a foreigner so he can try to press a bit more money out of me 😀

  5. Profile gravatar of Brent

    Uhh, okay, have some questions here.
    1. Isn’t this just showing how you are trolling Filipinos? Is it really hard to just move the trolley by a few inches?
    2. This doesn’t make the Philippines into a better place, what’s the point in living in a country you hate? Just fly away to a better country.
    (btw i agree that Philippines is shit but it really doesn’t help make the Philippines into a better country by trolling the citizens)

    1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
      Captain PFB

      @telephonedude (Brent)
      You are Filipino. How can I tell? You exhibit the same behaviors, knee-jerk reaction, and inability to form logic. You speak before you have informed yourself. (If you would have simply read the “About Us” page FIRST, you would see that this blog isn’t here to help Filipinos. Filipinos are helpless. Therefore it’s pointless to try to help them. They don’t want help. They just want handouts. They want their country to change, yet they refuse to change their ways. They keep repeating the same mistakes over and over and over and over again. They don’t learn.

      Therefore this blog is not here to help Philippines or Filipinos. This blog is here to help us foreigners release the frustrations of dealing with the incomprehensible levels of widespread stupidity, ignorance, and corruption. And just because we share our true experiences and observations, does not mean we hate Filipinos or Philippines.

      Let me ask you this…would it HELP Philippines to do like YOU DO and pretend the problems don’t exist, pretend you’re all wonderfully smart, intelligent, and pretend there’s so much to be proud of here? Do you really think that mindset HELPS YOUR COUNTRY???? Sweeping all your problems under the rug, pretend like you are all so great because of a fucking boxer? Does that HELP your country????


      Again, this blog in NOT here to help you or your people. But I can guarantee it does NOT hurt your country or people any more than you people hurt yourselves with your denials, lies, ignoring your problems, allowing corruption. It is because of your GENERAL WAYS AND MINDSETS that this blog even exists. It is because of FILIPINOS IN GENERAL that you “agree that Philippines is shit”.

      1. Profile gravatar of Johnny


        Your responses pretty much nail it dead on. Do you just have these responses saved now for a quick copy/ paste? I hate to think you are typing this in each time in response when a pinoy writes you or makes a comment.

        I always like the comment of the Filipinos who say the “problem is the gov’t is corrupt”. The truth is FILIPINOS are corrupt. The morons act like its some outside culture that governs them and cheats them.
        What I learned from being here all this time, “Filipinos are the enemy of Filipinos”.

    2. Profile gravatar of Johnny

      What happens is it aggravates foreigners from places where people are considerate of the rules, manners, and other people. Filipinos might be very polite people with their “yes po” and they are not rude as they are very non-confrontational. So Filipinos are not rude people by any means, but they are the most inconsiderate little fuckers you’ve ever met.
      Westerners are the opposite. We greatly respect other peoples spaces, the rules, consider the “right of way”, respect lines/ cues, and definitely respect order whether it be in traffic/ lines/ personal space. However, us westerners will become very rude motherfuckers if you disrespect us by cutting in front of us, driving like an arrogant asshole putting our lives in danger or simply being disrespecful to our personal space. Basically, if you do not respect teh basic manners of a civilization, we WILL say something 90% of the time.
      2 Jeepneys will pull along side each other and carry on a full conversation in the middle of the road with no thought to the people whose time they are wasting by blocking them. Filipinos behind them will not say anything cause the culture dictates never confront anyone (yes, I find it cowardly as well). but that is the way it is.
      Now, 2 Jeepneys in front of Americans/ English people will get yelled at and definitely confronted. The westerners will definitely lay on the horns and yell obscenities at the inconsiderate fucks. Now, it might be rude to yell at them, but it is well justified. Now, on the other side of that, us westerners would NEVER have a conversation in the middle of the road as we think first of how inconsiderate it is to waste other peoples time for our stupid conversation so we would pull to the side of the road to have it.

      We do NOT want to be put in the situation to say something and we do NOT want to say something. However, When we say something, its fucking aggravating and raises the blood pressure as we do NOT like to be disrespected by inconsiderate little fuckers. So, as the poster stated, he is using this as self-medication or personal therapy instead of getting angry about it. Sadly, the behavior is predictable so he has fun with it. I’ve had to come up with a few little things to have enjoyment with the insanity of the culture instead of getting mad about it.
      Now, we all come from much more advanced countries. We have all learned to wait in line properly and to be considerate of other people.

    3. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
      Captain PFB

      “what’s the point in living in a country you hate?”

      Who said I hate Philippines? Why do Pinoys always automatically assume when someone speaks the truth about their country, that we hate it?

      This isn’t a hate blog. It’s a truth blog. I don’t hate the Philippines. I actually have never been happier in my life. But the fact that I’m happy living here doesn’t automatically make Filipinos intelligent. They’re dumb as fuck, that is the truth. It’s not MY fault they’re dumb as fuck. I’m just an observer here. And I’m simply writing down my observations and true experiences. Why does that have to mean I hate the country?

      Why can’t someone like a country, AND speak the truth about it at the same time? Philippines isn’t ALL bad. It’s quite a wonderful place. Unfortunately, it’s infested with brainless Filipinos. But I have learned to expect stupidity and failure with everything. I have adapted to my environment, without becoming a part of it.

      So please stop translating truth telling as hating.

      1. Profile gravatar of 86andBelow
        86andBelow Post author

        Same here Captain. I don’t hate the Philippines or filipinos in general.

        Most filos are generally very pleasant one-on-one. Just don’t ask them to do anything and don’t have any expectations, that’s all!

      2. Profile gravatar of

        You are both right. I think the old saying”the truth hurts” is very relevant here. Some people would say oh, I should try to do something about it but they just act hurt and remain ignorant of a whole world of better alternatives. I don’t hate them either; I feel sorry for them.

      3. Profile gravatar of Johnny

        I’ll be honest. There is very little I find redeeming in the country and I have little to zero respect for their culture. Or I should say lack of culture.
        I finally left the Philippines (although I’ll be back soon) and it was against everyone telling me to stay. I’m part filipino, my parents live there, have a family business I’m supposed to help with, and a fiance. The problem is I grew up in America with Americans, and very few Filipinos. My mother was very well educated and did not associate much with other Filipinos as she did not like the typical tradition of getting together and doing chismis (useless gossip) as she had a very professional job. So, I never got the opportunity to associate with Filipinos and I’m thankful for it.
        So it seemed for me to take over the business in the Philippines, get married there, be content, be happy, have maids, and chill out.
        Unfortunately Filipinos are awful. The country would be great if Filipinos did not live there or govern the place.
        I despise that culture with a passion. I have no respect for them. 1 out of 100 might be a good, decent person, but its not worth the trouble to get to know them.
        Yes, I could have had a happy life there with everything taken care of, but I was not happy there. Maybe in a few years, but I’m too young and get frustrated too easily for that place.
        So, not everyone is some old westerner married to a young girl getting by on a pension. There are those foreigners, but each person has a different reason, purpose, or mission for being there.

  6. Profile gravatar of Mike

    I went into Ace Hardware to buy some AA and AAA batteries, simple right? So standing there at check out I look at the price of the AAA, 24.75 (price right on them) for a pack of either 2 or 4, can’t recall but still simple right? I mean the price is right on them. Then the fun starts. The cashier calls some guys over and they start discussing the price of the AAAs, are they p24.75 or are they p25? and this keeps going on for a few minutes and I’m standing there wondering WTF? It’s so simple! I just looked at them, told them it was simple and got a blank stare. Just paid for the AA and told them I will not stand here while they debate about 25 centavos per pack (less than p1 as had three packs). Blank look again.

    As for what they do, start piling their stuff on the checkout counter while your doing it, I just reach down and push it back without even looking at them. I’ll have to try the trolley game sometime though.

  7. Profile gravatar of kalbo

    Well Mike, I have to say that Ace certainly employ some of the best looking chicks about. I sometimes nip in there just to check out the eye candy. After all when they advertise jobs, they ask for 18-21 year olds with pleasing personalities who must be single! Cool!

    One game I love to play is when Im being followed around by hookers/ladyboys who just wont give up. One time 2 ladyboys followed me in makati for over 5 minutes. I dashed into 7-11 and pretended to browse for some items. The ladyboys then see a window of opportunity and start grabbing lots of things from the shelves, almost like they are stocking up for the winter or something. I then offer a few words of encouragement like “Help youselves! Whatever you want!” etc. Then, when their backs are turned, do a runner and leave them high and dry with no Kano to pay the bill :). One time I ran up the road but couldnt resist looking into the shop window seeing these ladyboys putting all their stuff back on the shelves 🙂

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike


      I just have a ball with the hookers, messing with their minds. Like you said they won’t take no for an answer and always buy me ladies drink. SOOOOOOOO, I’ll start talking like I’m interested:
      Me: So what you want?
      Happy Hooker: Baby from you.
      Me: How much?
      HH: 2,500 pesos.
      Me: For how long?
      HH: All night, 24 hours.
      Me: Your a good looking woman and I would like to go to bed with you. I could use the 2,500 pesos but I’m just too damn tired.

      I was sitting in front of a store at table by myself drinking a beer. A few tables over had 2 women sitting at it and a woman standing by it. Woman standing comes over and asks me if I want a girl. Told her no, just a beer and to be left alone. Still she would not take no for an answer so here we go:
      Me: How much?
      Her: 2,500 pesos
      Me: For how long?
      Her: 3 hours.
      Me: Well Manila it’s 500 pesos for 3 hours.
      Her: But this is _____________, not Manila.
      Me: So what makes the pussy here more special than the pussy in Manila?
      BLANK STARE and scurry back to the table. Beer in peace.

      1. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
        Don Quixote

        There were six of us on a bar hop in Subic City once, the place was dead.No one was in the bar when we arrived
        But all we wanted to do was drink and talk as we hadn’t done it for a while, as we had gotten married and one had gone back to the states and returned and remembered the great times we had there so we went with him..
        The mamsan drove us nuts, trying to get us too barfine a girl or buy them a lady drink, WTF, they were ugly or fat, I said it was dead !!!!!!!!!!!!
        In the end we all walked out to a bar in Barretto where we could all catch up without being annoyed to death by that bitch.
        She could not take any hint whatsoever.
        We could only leave too shut her fucking up.
        So this genius lost 6 paying kanoes because she would not listen
        Im happy to say that bars closed and up for sale again.

  8. Profile gravatar of Hey Joe
    Hey Joe

    Here is my little game. Pick-up cans.

    When in a market, and a pinoy shopper is near, pick up an item, look at it place it in your cart. Then a sec or 2 later put it back and move forward a few feet. See if he wants to play??
    They will often pickup the same item (monkey see monkey do) and more often than not, put it back. (game on) now keep doing this as long as you can/
    My record play time is 1.5 aisles.

    1. Profile gravatar of loco_loco

      No joke now…ive tried that today inside the SM Super Market just to see really the monkey see monkey do effect…guess what that shit really works… Flip Lady around 20 years was next to me…I took a Del monte Pin apple can…look to her one second put the can back into its place…and leave…20 sec later the flip brain worked it out ( haha i have to touch the same can like the Kano ( for them iam a kano) and guess what she really did it …she grab ” my” can …there are plenty other pineapple can ..why she took the same which I had in my fingers ??? cant figure that out in my mind how far or low their brains are working…. Thanks for the new “idea” I will have some fun in the next days in the supermarket …:D

      1. Profile gravatar of Hey Joe
        Hey Joe

        🙂 Glad you had a good game. It is fun to screw with them some times.
        I’m not sure what it is, guess we have to call it the kano effect or something. If it’s imported It MUST be better, if a kano likes this can of corned-beef it MUST be good.
        I stumbled across it 3-4 yrs ago by pure chance when I noticed the pinoy behind me picking up every single thing i looked at.
        So, I just had to keep doing it… trying to keep from busting up laughing was the hard part.

    2. Profile gravatar of 86andBelow
      86andBelow Post author

      I tried it today, but with no success H-J. I was either playing it wrong, was too ugly to be playing or maybe it was the fact that when I thought of playing there were only two filipinas in the aisle and they were over 60. Hahaha

      I’ll give it another go!

      1. Profile gravatar of loco_loco

        Did it today again…but this time with our german made products… U have to make a small voices like ” AHHH” ( when u grab the stuff) that they hear it …then the game is working…did that for 15min today and 4 Flips couldnt resist their”mind” monkey see , monkey do …I love that game really shows me always ” Man your here in the jungle keep calm they are nuts”

  9. Profile gravatar of Johnny

    One thing I was doing was taking the Filipino FAIL pictures. Things like crumbling roads, bridges, spaghetti electrical wires, open sewage, stray dogs, kids begging, people pissing in the streets, etc. Just the basic shit that is disgusting and sad to look at. Then I was posting them on my Facebook status for my American friends to comment on. (since I got tired of describing it as well and tired of explaining why the power was out).
    Since I have a lot of Filipino friends, family, fiance, and some of the Filipinos I know are actually successful (2 are city councilors) they would see the pics. These same people who would tout how great the Philippines is or were feebly (city councilors) promoting tourism were so quick to ask me not to post the pictures anymore. They would suddenly get embarrassed since it was being broadcast to other foreigners.
    It was insane. They said, “why do you need to portray the Philippines in a negative light?” I said, “I’m taking pictures along a walk and of shit we ALL see everyday in the major parts of town. I’m NOT going out of my way to take nasty pictures. I’m just posting pics of what I see daily.” It made me wonder why they would get so embarrassed I posted the pictures, but did not care everyday when they saw it. The reality was embarrassing to them when a foreigner actually showed other foreigners, but for them they did not care and said, “we are going to be a huge tourist point” no matter how I told them tourists want clean, safe, and fun environments. Our city was none of that.
    However, like anything Filipino, they care more about image than substance. If they put actual care into the substance. Just look at the APEC and how much they hurriedly “cleaned up”. The place looks like shit year round, but for APEC, ASEAN, or the Pope they clean up real fast.

    1. Profile gravatar of Johnny

      Get a local senior citizen card. You can bribe the local barangay person to get it for you.
      Just give them a pic and the info and they can do it,,,,, for a fee of course.
      It might cost ₱1000, but it’s worth it.
      All the local foreigners have one even though they are not supposed to. They just bribes the same person to get one.

  10. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    thye take my 13a visa ID at restos,, but the discount is only for me,,, I think you need a book of some sort for them to write your purchases in??

  11. Profile gravatar of

    Don, You can get a Person With Disability( PWD) card if you quality and it is accepted at Mercury drug and others. It is better than the one in Aust. You can also park in the pwd parking spots.