Jaime DIPSHIT and Friends

    Well if you have cable or satellite tv and the History channel then I’m sure you see the previews about Jaime Dempsey “Ride and Seek Philippines” show.  You know, the white chick that has tattoos all over and rides her motorcycle around the Philippines telling how great the country and people are.  Has anyone besides me noticed that in her shows there is no trash along the roads, filipinos pissing everywhere, the beggars, getting overcharged or scammed?  So now what is she doing? She’s doing commercials for a car and another one for a gas station chain. So in the car commercial she walks in and hugs a pinay then they test drive the vehicle on the streets in Metro Manila area.. Odd thing though there is always very little traffic and the other vehicles are staying in their lanes, obeying traffic laws, not cutting people off and so forth.  Then in the gas station commercial she walks up to an attendant and he tells her how great their gas is and how they make it and how it’s good for their engine. Where is this pinoy at? I have trouble just getting them to understand “Fill it up with the best gas.” I’m waiting for the episode where a pinoy driving a trike or jeepney passes on a blind curve and splatters Jaime all over the pavement. If pay per view it will be a sale out with the expat crowd here before it hits YouTube.

      So yesterday son had to dress up  in a traditional costume of another country and went as a cowboy. So all the kids go on stage one at a time and pose for pictures, USA, India, China, Japan, Australia, Spain and ALASKA just to name a few. Yes I said Alaska. Seems the teachers handed out who was what country and the teachers said Alaska was a county. Of course I was wrong when I pointed out Alaska was not a country, I forgot for a moment that filipinos know everything and are never wrong. So after school it’s off to SM to have his picture taken in his cowboy outfit with lasso and his holstered plastic toy gun. The female security guard about went postal, grabbed him by the arm, pulled the gun up and still it took wife and male guard to convince the female it was a toy. So time to pose for the pictures. One with son alone, then family, then wife and son then son and I. Yes I got “THE LOOK”. Wife was outside so I took sons toy gun and held it to my temple and told shutterbug to take the picture. She did twice then showed it to my wife. THE LOOK was more deadly than Duterte.

  Time to eat and off we go to Moon Cafe for Mexican food. I look at the menu and spot filet mignon with mashed potatoes, under it another steak with a baked potato. I ask if I can get the baked potato with the filet mignon and told yes so I order. After a reasonable amount of time my steak and potato arrive. What was the “filet mignon? Well strips of beef about 1/2 wide and coiled then held together by bacon on the outside. The baked potato? That was a potato cut in quarters and shoved in the oven. Talk about disappointment!!! So after start eating in walks a high maintenance pinay with her friend. Have to admit she was pretty and had the body to match but the kind that if you bought her a Mercedes she would bitch it is not a Rolls or Bentley.  So here she is flaunting around and dressing and acting like she is gods gift to men. But she failed to notice one thing that ruined everything for her. Yes, I looked around but said nothing, her white tight fitting pants showing all the lines and curves, her cushion for the pushin in the back and the dreaded camel toe in the front.

Published in Filipino Stupidity

Comments

  1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
    Captain PFB

    Cracks me up about Mooon Cafe’s filet mignon. It’s fucking sirloin strips rolled into a medallion as you stated. Talk about utterly blatant deception. But they know filipinos won’t stand up for themselves and complain. They’ll just fuckin’ eat it. It’s more likely the will not even know it’s not a real filet. Idiots.

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike
      Mike Post author

      Capt,
      Want another joke? Veterans who are service connected did not get a COLA increase in 2015 or 2016. But Obama gave us one this year,,,, ready?/ You sure?? Ok, service connected disabled vets get a raise of 0.3%!!!! So if your monthly pension is $113.17 Obama raised it to $113.57!!!

    2. Profile gravatar of FHPS
      FHPS

      @filofail i have a picture of a salad i got at moon cafe – it is unbelievable. its such a sad photo i will put it in a future post some how how horrible food presentation is (no doubt the business doesnt want to pay for training, after all, — its a cost) – filos will never complain – when you do they will
      1. expect you to pay for another meal
      2. say dont like it leave
      3. say no one else complains.

      the fucked up thing is i had a guy who got a hair ball in his soup and the guard wouldnt let him out of the place until he paid for it!!
      another i heard found a hair in his ice cream and was told “its not human hair sir” and do you think they woud be nice to say “sorry sorry sir … let me get you another one”

      the other fucked up thing i encountered (non food business) was buying movie tickets. my gf at time spoke in perfect lingo to the local girl who sold us the wrong ticket.
      the girl said sorry sir, no exchange (even though the wrong movie was 6 hours away and the movie we wanted (pointing to the fact we should have been in another line – so despite hearing the wrong thing sold us the wrong ticket) – told me to walk around and talk to customers and see if i could swap or sell it to someone

      LOL …CUSTOMER SERVICE AT ITS FINEST

      1. Profile gravatar of snakebitbytheflips
        snakebitbytheflips

        Oh, that reminded of my first trip there in 2006; I heard about Jollibee (but not the bad stuff about them–yet), and on one of our mission group’s off days one of the flip chaperones, another group member, and I went to “tour” Manila by rail (the rapid transit lines that are in the city) and we also visited a museum. Around lunchtime, we saw a Jollibee and I suggested that we eat there for lunch just so I can “experience” the place (Hey, when in Rome….). I order a [mystery meat] burger meal, asked it be prepared a certain way (no cheese, only lettuce, tomato, and ketchup on it) and when they finally came out with my burger it had mayo on it. I brought that to the server’s attention, and after the “blank stare” for what seemed like 5 minutes, he brings a manager out. Now, here in the civilised world that would be no big deal (“Oh, I’m sorry sir–we will bring another out to you right away!”), but in the Land of Imbeciles I experienced a healthy dose of “culture shock”–blank stares, blame-shifting, denial, etc. I politely stuck to my guns, so the baboon manager brings it back to the “kitchen”, and several minutes later brings out my burger. Surprise, surprise, it was the same burger–all they did was scrape the mayo off.

        That other group member who was with me spent the rest of the day on the toilet.

        Welcome to the Philthippines.

          1. Profile gravatar of Mike
            Mike Post author

            DD,
            You’ve never really lived until you wolf down a Champ hamburger from Jollibee. Yes 5-6 hours later your stomach is cramping, upset when “the champ” decides it’s coming back up. Now after 5-6 it should well be into it’s journey into the abyss more commonly known as “the wormhole of the intestines”. But no, it comes back up completely undigested, chewed but undigested. That is one tough burger huh? Then just when you think your over it because it’s out “the champ” that did make it through the intestines then decides to let it’s presence known via “the Hershey squirts.”

  2. Profile gravatar of Rice Ganda
    Rice Ganda

    I caught this show on History channel here in Malaysia. I stopped watching it out of disappointment after the show where she did some snorkeling activities which revealed she was as flat as a pancake.

  3. Profile gravatar of leavinglaspinas
    leavinglaspinas

    Mike, if your son brought that toy gun to schooling the US, the least he would get is a permanent suspension. But you know that. Good story though.

    I don’t get the H channel but I did once see an episode of “Don’t Drive Here — Philippines”. It’s a Canadian show. The guy came here, got a driving license, drove a jeepney and whatnot. However there was so little traffic in what was supposed to be Metro Manila that I almost lost interest. Plus, even without traffic, he didn’t even attempt to turn left from the far right-hand lane, so what does he know?

      1. Profile gravatar of Catabisis
        Catabisis

        Don’t forget the kindergartener in the U.S. who was booted from school for shaping his PopTart into a gun. This is no lie. In 6th grade, in 1970, we were given a choice to report on anything we wanted. We had to bring in the item and explain it. My friend brought in a 12 gauge pump shotgun with a round of ammo. He gave the report without a thing said like it wasn’t shit.

  4. Profile gravatar of FilamboredinthePH
    FilamboredinthePH

    I feel you on that resentment towards the “hot pinays”. I’m not talking about the cute ones you’d see working at a bar or whatever that most expats tend to like. I’m talking about the light skinned genetically blessed kind that typically marry the local rich/powerful guy. I still haven’t decided though yet which group has the higher sense of self-entitlement: Gorgeous pinays or hot blondes in America. I lean towards hot pinays as typically I only ever see them just taking selfies and posing in front of things but never actually do anything while I HAVE actually seen hot blondes who can surf waves, crossfit, triathlons, and typically do interesting things beyond taking selfies so they’ve earned their smugness. I’ve been here long enough and have never seen a “for real hot pinay” actually doing anything outside besides sitting around on beaches and in restaurants.

  5. Profile gravatar of Bastos
    Bastos

    I attended a UN day event for my daughter’s school yesterday. I was surprised to learn that Hawaii is a country as well. Didn’t notice Alaska in the mix though.

    1. Profile gravatar of leavinglaspinas
      leavinglaspinas

      I remember showing my former driver a world map and showing him that this entire country would fit into Saskatchewan’s northern lakes with room to spare… and virtually nobody lives up there. His response was “wow.” and then he completely lost interest.

      1. Profile gravatar of 30-30
        30-30

        To Leaving,
        Try to explain that land is surveyed into sqaure parcels??????? And not into pie shaped lots like here, What really amazes them is that 3 peolle can harvest 50 hectares a day with no sacks?????? Oh and do not mention about fly in fishing camps either?????
        Google maps is not on their no. 1 list of things to do.

  6. Profile gravatar of Johnny
    Johnny

    I always thought the “ride and seek” girl was super hot. Either way, it’s a fluff piece, travel show. Not going to show the sad reality of a country or area. I take pictures of manila or my shit hole city and show people why they should Not visit me or the Philippines and tell them Thailand is 10x better for tourists than the Philippines.