We’re 2 Days into the Xmas Season

We’re two days into the Christmas season in Philippines. The dreaded “Ber” months (SeptemBER, OctoBER, NovemBER, DecemBER…fucking brilliant, huh?). That 1/3 of your year that becomes a hellish nightmare filled with senseless distorted garbling nonsense being blasted through 2 meter tall loudspeakers at ear splitting decibels right there at the entrance of retail establishments. Horrifying bullshit traffic jam clusterfucks due to random, spur-of-the-moment parading of that caped chuckie doll  thing through major thoroughfares, thus turning traffic into more of a horror than it normally is. It’s that time that we all wish we were either dead or in a different country. Fuck, it doesnt even change for xmas!

Sto Nino, that Chuckie doll thing that the idiot Pinoys violate one of the Ten Commandments by bowing down and worshiping.

First I wanted to tell you a story, second I wanted to make a proposition.

The Story

I could not understand the xmas songs being played in the mall while I was shopping. “Oh the weather outside is frightful” and “let it snow let it snow let it snow”ok.

The person in charge of the music in SM clearly had downloaded all the xmas albums that they could find and among them was a gem!

A xmas album by a punk band called the vandals. The tracks include the follwing joyful xmas songs:

1.     “A Gun for Christmas”
2.     “Grandpa’s Last Xmas”
3.     “Thanx for Nothing”
4.     “Oi to the World”
5.     “Nothing’s Going to Ruin My Holiday”
6.     “Christmas Time for My Penis”
7.     “I Don’t Believe in Santa Claus”
8.     “My First Xmas (As a Woman)”
9.     “Dance of the Sugarplum Fairies”
10.     “Here I Am Lord”
11.     “C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S”
12.     “Hang Myself from the Tree”

I was absolutely overjoyed to hear these songs in SM. Track 11 is probably the best with the following lyrics:

“C” is for your little clit when I go down beneath.
“H” is for your pubic hair that sticks between my teeth
“R” is for your rectum that
“I” fuck with my dick
Christmas comes but once a year
and makes me fucking sick.
“S” is for your shitty asshole, clinkers ’round your bum
“T” is for your massive tits that make me want to cum
“M” is for masturbation, when you’re not here with me
“A” is for the agony of catching your vd
“S” is for the syphilis that rots away my prick
Christmas comes but once a year
and makes me fucking sick.
“S” is for the syphilis that rots away my
Ding-dong merrily along

I was in my fucking element hearing these songs blast over SM.

ONE MORE TIME! “Christmas comes but once a year and makes me fucking sick.”

ahhh thats what you get when Head Office just tells you to play xmas songs and you dont give a fuck about licensing or copyright!

The Proposal

Why don’t we get together for a drink at xmas? Hold an event, talk about our experiences?

No cameras, no names, not even usernames to identify ourselves, full anonymoty.

I have already planned events in the past and can easily manage this. Failing an actual event, we could simply meet in a bar for a few drinks and few stories. For those of us in Manila, we can meet in Manila. If there are enough people in other locations, I am sure a group event could be arranged.

What do you think?


I’m sure you already know this is just common sense, but I’m going to say it just in case:

I strongly advise extreme discretion if/when planning a get-together. It would be very easy for a disgruntled low-life Pinoy to pose himself as a foreigner here on this site, and get in on your gathering, and show up to crash it or worse. Do your planning in private via email or private chat, find a way to verify all attendees are truly foreigners before disclosing the venue to them (maybe view them on live webcam while chatting with them). Use extreme caution. I do not want to see anyone become a victim of a begrudged Pinoy out for revenge. The possibility is real, maybe slightly paranoid, but better to error on the side of caution.

I have an American friend who was stabbed 9 times by a Pinoy he regularly employed as a driver, who didn’t like the fact that he was verbally confronted for stealing 2000p from his wallet while he nodded off en route to their destination. When they returned home, his driver took a shower, and my friend found his 2000p in a secret pocket he had sewn on the inside of his blue jeans. He spent 4 weeks in the hospital millimeters from death while we had to hunt down 6 pints of blood for him. How dare he embarrass and shame the Pinoy for stealing!

Published in Filipino Stupidity


  1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
    Captain PFB

    Drives me NUCKIN’ FUTS when I’ve been sitting in a taxi for an hour and moved about 1/2 kilometer, and discover it’s a fucking crowd of dumbfuck Pinoys and their violation of one of the 10 commandments with idol worship by parading that god damned caped crusader chuckie doll around in the middle of a major street.

    Why the fuck can’t they keep that stupid bullshit on the smaller residential streets? What the fuck are they trying to prove (other than they’re complete non-thinking inconsiderate dumb fucks)?

    1. Profile gravatar of TheD
      TheD Post author

      I absolutely agree with your notice. I would want some form of verification in place prior to invitations being issued.

      If enough people want to meet, then we can look at what we can do and begin to lay out plans. And you can never, ever be too safe.

      @FiloFail just out of curiosity, are you staggering the posts or did you not like the taxi driver story? I cant recall in which order I submitted them and just wondered. I love the site and hope I am understanding the style of stories the readers like so I can send more.

      Its like they have to be seen to be worshiping, they can not do it in private.

      1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
        Captain PFB

        Sometimes I stagger the posts, usually if I have staggered in from an evening drinking LOL.

        But don’t worry, I usually publish just about everything people put up. I get waves of many member-submitted posts, and sometimes I only have time to review 2 or 3 and publish.

        I’ll get to the rest within a day or two.

      2. Profile gravatar of

        Hey TheD! Count me in if there is a meet. I been wanting to hang with you guys but I always get side track due to my business. If you guys need info from me just message me what you need and I’ll provide. Later…

        1. Profile gravatar of Stu Pidasso
          Stu Pidasso

          Am I the only one who has realized that this MEETING idea is stupid? Forget it. This blog is here for a reason. Don’t try to make a relationship with people you don’t know….and might not want to know. This might turn out worse than a Filipina dating site. FiloFail is right. there is no safe way to organize a meeting on this blog and not be sorry for it later. Leave it be and just keep writing.

          I personally like reading many of the posts here but there is a side of me that says I would probably not see eye to eye with these people in person.

          Even if you come without revealing your identity, you will reveal it once you start sharing stories with each other. And we will all be looking at the 40+ Filipino with an American accent and pretending he is just ‘one of the guys who turned up’.

          You are all assholes…..and so am I. Stay home!

          1. Profile gravatar of TheD
            TheD Post author

            It was an off the cuff idea. I wished we could get together in some way to talk. But you’re absolutely right, the security is a huge issue and I would not want to meet anyone unless I was happy with the security.
            In the situation of a meeting including many people, I don’t think the security could be guaranteed as you have pointed out.
            After all, we do not know who on here is genuine and who is not, so it is much better to ensure our identities are not revealed in such a way.

          2. Profile gravatar of Marius O.
            Marius O.

            I have to agree. I am wary of talking to ANYONE in the Philippines. I usually give people only the most superficial details about who I am and what I do – I’m doing everything straight-up legal, even by the bizarre standards of Philippine laws – but this is a country where normal rules of morality do not apply. Anyone who takes a dislike to you, including foreigners, can have you deported, ruined, or executed on a whim. It’s sad, but that’s the way it is. It’s probably safe enough to whinge and moan on a forum, but real life is a whole different ball game. Trust no one.

          3. Profile gravatar of mother teresa
            mother teresa

            Before i started going to the Philippines I trusted most everybody. Now Im super paranoid about all people everywhere. Philippines fucked me up psychologically. Now I find myself questioning the honesty of ALL people around me everywhere. I have lost trust for ALL people and I didnt even realize it for years. Now that im aware of it I like to think Im coming to terms with it. You old and new comers need to be aware of this and try to keep a hold on it. If you let it the Philippines will fuck you up.

          4. Profile gravatar of FAFI

            Yeah I agree with you Marius, you really can’t trust anyone anywhere online. I admit that I had recently planned to meet up with 2 of the members on this site, but I think I’m already contented in just blogging on here about my daily outbursts. Although, it would be great to converse with someone intelligent in person after a while. My Puerto Rican-American buddy isn’t all that bright, so I hardly consider him as a foreigner. I’ve been on this site for over a year, and I think I pretty much proven my position as a non-Filipino, but it’s just like what Marius said, even some foreigners can’t be trusted either. I knew a few who screwed me over back home, and my buddy here is so far behind in debt with me that it’s starting to accumulate to be equivalent to one of my paychecks.

            Other than that, everyone has their own opinion. Either you trust them or you don’t. If you think you’ve known me long enough with good credibility and you are in my area, I’m willing to go out for a beer with you after I verify that you are not some back-stabbing Filipino of course. Some of you know me, and some of you don’t. But we all met on this blog, and there is nothing wrong with continuing our non-verbal friendly communication on this site. Besides, I usually bump into a fellow American when I’m rolling out alone in the bar district anyway 🙂 So even if it’s not a PFB foreigner, I manage to meet some non PFB members at random while out drinking anyway. Who knows, maybe I seen some of you out in public before and didn’t know it? LOL! You all have a good one.

          5. Profile gravatar of

            Well here’s my two cents. I am not pushing the issue and I do understand there are a lot shady Filos especially in Manila but it can work and I seen it happen. In Bicol (Legaspi to be exact), there is a group (foreigners and filipinos) who meet almost weekly at a restaurant that I eat at. I just never had a chance to approach them cause I am always on the go. So it is possible…

          6. Profile gravatar of TheD
            TheD Post author

            It was one of those late night ideas when I thought “wouldnt it be great if…” but by the light of the morning I knew it just couldnt happen due to risks that can not be avoided.

          7. Profile gravatar of jeff

            Indeed ‘NO ONE’. Because of my lack of knowledge of the Philippines and the culture of it, my first instinct was to lean on the Americans that were familiar. My first trip over was to a resort just outside of Bohol, ‘Visayas Breeze Resort’. I had spoken on the phone with him several times while here in the States before going. He runs a dating site hooking Foreigners and Pinays up! On my own and somewhat blind, he directed me how to get to his resort,telling me he “could throw a stick and hit a dozen beautiful girls in any direction”! When I get to the tiny island resort…I was the only fucking person there other than the slaves working there!!! WTF now?? I had a friend and his gf showing up in 3 days..so I waited it out alone!

            They brought his gf’s cousin with them for my entertainment. By this time I had befriended one of his ‘slave girls’ and was growing fond of her. He was pissed about that because she was educated and generated him money by keeping records and running his internet cafe. Told me that if someone thought they were going to hook-up and take her away it would cost $5000!!That just made me more determined… FUCK YOU!

            There was only one way off of that island,he controlled the boat! Due to she and I exchanging contact info,he charged me an additional 12kp to get on the boat back to Cebu to catch the plane home to the US??? He was also returning to the U.S. By now I’m so fucking mad I extended my stay and returned to the resort without his knowledge…spent some time with her…took his Father-in-Law (caretaker of the resort) to his home in Mindanao for a week. OF course I had to buy all the food for the week for all 12 living there and all travel expenses….So much for HOSPITALITY!!!

  2. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    xmas used to be 2 weeks long, I see in north america it is getting longer and longer,
    I HATE XMAS, can’t get anything done, nobody wants to work,, the bums , creeps and graft come out of the woodwork looking for money,,
    THEN,, everybody wakes up on jan. 2,,, holy crap we have to get working working and to something,,
    jan 31, the xmas bills come in and the debt cycle starts all over again.
    shoot me dead

    1. Profile gravatar of TheD
      TheD Post author

      I think I know why the xmas season is so long in the Philippines. It gives you much more time to go from store to store until you find one that is not “out of stock sirrr”

  3. Profile gravatar of Geronimo

    Must really suck to be stuck in the Pilipins.
    I’m Filipino and lived most of my life in the Philillipines until I moved to the US a few years ago.
    While I would advise an American friend against visiting Manila for safety & sanity reasons, also the “stupid” Filipinos
    I don’t see anything in this blog site but hate,anger & fear.not a nice place to be in.maybe you guys just want to be helpful and all but you guys reek of Hate.
    Nice to have sites like this where you can indulge in this drug called Hate.

    1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
      Captain PFB

      So none of what we say is true, we’re making it all up, Filipinos are brilliant, and all the failure and stupidity we see every day everywhere is just figments of our imagination? Is that what you’re saying?

      If we’re being helpful, it’s only to each other. As stated in the About page here, this blog isn’t here to help Filipinos. You cannot help the helpless. We know this. The Filipino refuses help. And when you try to help. We’re called racists and haters. You cannot criticize a Filipino, not even constructively. They take it as an insult, and call you a racist. So we’re not at all here to help anyone but ourselves. This blog is for expats. NOT Filipinos.

      The stupidity and dishonesty levels are beyond anything even remotely considered common or normal. And because we talk about our experiences here, it’s hate? Are we not supposed to call stupid, stupid? If not, what should we call stupid? Smart? If we did, we would be just like the Filipino.

      Can’t call it “unwise” it goes way beyond that. It’s flat-out, knock-down, drag-out utter mind-boggling brainlessness. The stupidity goes far beyond comprehension. Therefore, it’s newsworthy. It’s worthy of discussion. We need to vent and release the frustrations of living in this pig pen full of corrupt stupid vermin. So we do it here.

      Any problem?

      If you don’t like when people call Filipinos stupid, backlashing and calling it hate and racism does not make you smarter. If you want the world to stop calling Filipinos ignorant dumbfucks, then don’t behave like ignorant dumbfucks. If you want the world to believe you are as smart as you claim, then stop acting like dumbfucks. Act smart. It’s really not rocket science to understand that.

      If you don’t want to be known as a dumbfuck, stop behaving like a dumbfuck. It’s really quite simple.

    2. Profile gravatar of TheD
      TheD Post author

      I assume you are not tarnishing all us users with the same brush by accusing all users of tarnishing you with the same brush.

      Reference my other posts and comments if needs be.

    3. Profile gravatar of 30-30

      To Geromino,
      It is not hate that drives us to this site,. All of us hope one day the Philippines will get its act together and be a properous country.
      However, since the systems in place in the Philippines can never be changed for the better, I do not see the Philippines progressing in the near future.
      It is like the alcoholic who refuses to see his bad habits,
      Why do advise your American friends not to visit the Philippines and the ”stupid” filipinos?????
      You are using a double standard towards your country and countrymen!!!

      1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
        Captain PFB

        This site is here because we want to criticize the hate we see in Filipinos for each other. Look at the way you treat each other. You scam each other, you have no work ethic, you don’t give a fuck about your homeless, you lie, cheat, and steal from each other, you do everything that people with love DON’T do. You treat each other like you hate each other.

        Filipinos hate each other. We see it every day Geronimo. We don’t hate Filipinos. Filipinos hate Filipinos. We’re just here talking about your hate for each other and how it affects us living in your hateful, ignorant country. That’s all.

    1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
      Captain PFB

      We don’t hate Filipinos. We’re just saying they are stupid as fuck. Why? Because we experience dumb-as-fuck behavior from the moment we step out our front door, to the moment we return home. We watch near-death experiences every time we see a pedestrian have the audacity to cross the street in a pedestrian crosswalk. We watch the ignorant, rude drivers lay on their horns instead of their brakes. We watch the complete selfishness and utter rudeness as we get shoved out of the way if we happen to reach the exit or entrance door at the same time. We watch people blatantly walk past a line and go right to the front, as if their shit doesn’t stink. We watch morons work extra hard to not leave any gaps in traffic, to keep his kababayan from easing into the flow of traffic. We watch how you ignorant brainless idiots treat each other every fuckin’ day.

      WE are not the haters. We are pointing out YOUR hate for each other.

      1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
        Captain PFB

        The Filipino can use his mouth to boast how loving and caring they are. But those are just words. We don’t see this “loving and caring”. We see rudeness, no consideration, stealing, scamming, pushing, shoving, ignorance, denial, selfishness, self preservation tactics….

        We see a whole lot of hateful acts towards each other among your people. You are the haters of each other. Because it doesn’t matter what you SAY. If what you DO is the OPPOSITE of what you SAY, you are not fooling anyone but yourselves.

        Let your actions match up with your words. Otherwise, you are all just a bunch of idiots blowing hot air.

        1. Profile gravatar of FAFI

          Now that’s what you call “Being Fuckin Real!” Truth-truth-truth and nothing but truth! I wish I can see comments like yours on these youtube videos that has dumb Filipinos boasting about how great their country is. BTW, I’m still getting heat on that “LKY Filipino irrelevant question” video you posted up a few months ago. The comment thread on that video is full of Filipinos who are delusioned to the MAX, and they just can’t SEE! Their stupidity is painfully entertaining. I don’t know if I should laugh hysterically, be incredibly disappointed on their false information, or try to reason with them as logically as possible so they can see their faults and quit denying them. Arguing with Filipinos online is by far the TOUGHEST task I have ever done in my entire life. They can easily believe in god without facts, but they can’t see their own stupidity with facts. What the Hell!?

    2. Profile gravatar of FAFI

      Let me translate that for you Geronimo: “Truthful words from honest people.” I think that’s what you meant to say. Now I’m not going to sit here and assume that you are Filipino, because it’s wrong to assume. But most of the anti-comments on here against our topics are usually bias-minded Filipinos trying to defend the honor of their country (even though there is no ‘HONOR’ to really defend anyway).

      Before you rant on and call us hateful, like what every Filipino do. How about analyzing everything we had said and ask yourself, “Is what they say is true?” Is it fucking true or not!? And please don’t be like every fucking Filipino and be like, “Is your country perfect? Because no one is perfect” or “We are just different.” No! Just ask yourself that fucking question right now and I wanna hear your answer! I’m not just referring to this article, but ultimately all articles on this site, because I believe they are being SAID for a reason. OK I will stop right there, because I know your tiny little pinoy mind can’t comprehend any more. I will let that portion soak in for a while before I continue on later.

    3. Profile gravatar of TightWired

      Geronimo, Now that you live in the USA, isn’t their something that you dislike about the States ???
      If you say something like “I dislike paying high taxes, I can’t stand Republican/Democrats/President Obama’s Policies, etc…” I won’t call you a racist. Even if you say something like “Whites/Blacks/Hispanics/Asians are dumb or worthless…I still won’t call you a racist…because ….some are worthless.
      IMO, people today use the word RACIST as a way to stop constructive criticism. If any people in the world need this dialog, it is the RP.

  4. Profile gravatar of marhead

    Why did u move to the US?. This has nothing to do with hate. Everyone one on the planet knows the philippines is failing on every level except the filipinos. We are merely pointing out what we see.

    1. Profile gravatar of FAFI

      Filipinos are blind as a bat. They refuse to admit to seeing what we see even if we highlighted it, set up flares, and pointed multicolored neon arrows around it. They will simply deny that it’s there. Filipinos on ALL levels from every profession are this way. They are completely hopeless. I already gave up on them completely.

      1. Profile gravatar of Jay

        It’s amazing how they try to defend their bullshit on this site but yet don’t miss a beat trying to scam their way into the United States getting away from the same shit we talk about that annoys the fuck out of us. Defending from afar, if they were really concerned about shit here in the Philippines they wouldn’t go to other countries.

  5. Profile gravatar of mother teresa
    mother teresa

    Geronimo. I want to apologize to you for failing my mission so far. I dont hate the Idioticppines, i love the Idioticppines. The Idioticppines is so fucking idiotic that nothing there is going to change anytime soon. This means that me, being 53 years old can go to the Idioticppines and treat young Idioticpinas with the same idiotic lies as they treat me(ie: Im a multimillionare retired rocket scientist) and try to screw the idioticness out of them. The only problem is that for the last 22 years i have failed at screwing any of the idioticness out of them. Therefore, I sincerely want to apologize to you and all the idioticppino people for my failure but will continue my mission until i accomplish it.

  6. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    in the middle of september, i seen xmas hampers in hypermart.
    oh boy,, water downed pineapple juice,,, out of date corned beef from argentina!!!,,,,, sardines…powdered fruit juice,,,
    i can hardley wait for xmas to begin..
    on another, does anybody else on this forum, feel tired and burnt out because you are craving good , fresh food from your country????
    please REPLY!!!!!
    SHOOT ME DEAD because there is another ”al” on this site

    1. Profile gravatar of SpatandemOhgod

      no that’s not me, I miss the philiipine food though because when I fire my bullets simply don’t make it that far. Making me miss it.

      so if a Philippino asks me if I miss the Philippines I reply “yes with every bullet so far”