You Know You’re Filipino If…

You work an eight hour over night shift in a call center then go out and get drunk at 7am,sing karaoke and take pictures of everything you eat,drink and 100 of selfies.

Your solution to every problem is praying.

You save for three months to buy that new iphone everyone else has yet borrow money for bills the entire time.

You wear the heaviest jacket and a wool cap in the hottest weather because you r work has “aircon”.

You can’t go to work because it started raining and you might get wet.

You think sitting in front of a fan makes you sick.

You are scared of the sun and getting “dark”.

You use your “high blood” as an excuse for everything.

You think it’s ok to ask a person you just met personal questions.

You think a person who doesn’t have kids maybe a “gay”.

You think every white person is “kano”

You don’t eat at a certain time every day you will get sick.

You’re late eating a certain meal you get upset.

You think having “white babies” will make you the envy of all your relatives and friends.

You drink,smoke,eat nothing but salt and sugar laced food but you go to the gym so that makes you healthy.

You have two college degrees and work at McDonald’s.

Your parents know your pay day and expect money twice a month from you.

You rent bed space and don’t save a dime of your own money to buy an actual home.

You feel the need to “bond” with every single person you work with because they are all your “friends” because you went through training together.

You go on vacations and “outings” with coworkers,spend all your money then when asked,”How will you pay your bills?” Your response is “Bahala na”.

You wipe your ass with your hand and water but think foreigners using toilet paper aren’t clean.

This list could go on forever…

Published in Filipino Stupidity


  1. Profile gravatar of FAFI

    ‘ You think every white person is “kano” ‘

    You also think that every person who blogs on here is a white kano. This user is a prime example —> MalditangCebuana

      1. Profile gravatar of

        Hey dickheads. I have only mistaken FAFI for the wrong identity, but I’m not taking back everything I posted here.

        Learn to backread my posts and see for yourself how stupid you are as an expat, as stupid as my fellow third world lame ass compatriots.

        1. Profile gravatar of FAFI

          *yawns* Is that all you got? Give it a rest, nobody likes you here….. going back to sleep.

          ‘You know you are Filipino if’ you fight back all criticisms by irrationally shouting back child level insults, thinking that it will make you feel victorious and resolves a problem.

          Look buddy, I can shout out curse words too and think I’m smart,”Oh Fuck-Shit-Damn-Hell-Bitch-Dick-Ass-Pussy-Cocksucker-PinoyBrain.”

          See? It’s easy? Except that I know it wont make me look any smarter.

  2. Profile gravatar of Jay

    This list is right on the money…..of course it could go on and on there are so many stupid things they do and say. Thanks for the laugh

  3. Profile gravatar of
    Steve Declerck

    “… and take pictures of everything you eat,drink and 100 of selfies.”

    All the time I was wondering what kind of a weird behaviour my wife has. She’s exactly doing this wherever we go. Before we can start to eat, she has to take several shots of her plate and after that, I have to take pictures of her in front of her plate. Now it’s clear to me it’s just typical behaviour 🙂

  4. Profile gravatar of JackTheBlack

    You think sleeping with wet hair makes you sick/crazy
    You think you get sick if your hair gets wet in rain
    Your doctor’s advice is always bed rest
    You resign from your job by disappearing
    You think the purpose of employer paid subscription is to pass load to your family and friends
    You think it’s OK to show up 30-60 minutes late to a meeting even you weren’t busy
    You think it’s OK not to meet job obligations
    You think it’s OK you don’t submit your assignment on time and that you don’t let your teacher/superior to know about it in advance
    You think your supervisors is your mom his/her job is to remind you on every single task and carry you to meetings

  5. Profile gravatar of MalditoKano

    You can’t survive without rice at every meal.

    You think whole-grain rice (brown, red or black) is unhealthy, because of the color–only white rice will do.

    You spend your paycheck in its entirety immediately upon receipt on liquor, gambling, whores, clothes, gadgets, accessories and whatever else you want NOW, never stopping for a millisecond to consider that the next day you will be broke and have nothing to eat, trying to survive until the next payday by means of ‘utang’ (loans).

    You ‘borrow’ money, promising to repay it by a certain date, only to either (a) not repay it at all, even though you just received your paycheck or a windfall from your OFW relative; or (b) repay it, but in drips and drabs over a period of many months beyond the agreed-upon due date, always promising ‘tomorrow’, and never the full amount.

    You knock-up girls then leave them.

    You care for your roosters better than you do your children.

    You never think about giving your motor vehicle an oil change or paying the tires’ condition any mind until you suffer a blow-up or blowout, and are thusly involved in a serious accident.

    You think you sound like Frank Sinatra, but in reality closer to a pig being slaughtered.

    You cannot survive in the absence of EAR-SPLITTING NOISE AT ALL TIMES!!

    You close the windows at night, for fear that ghosts might enter.

    You think that sweaty clothes will cause you to catch a cold.

    You use an umbrella in the sun to avoid becoming ‘dark'(er).

    You use all manner of products that promise to ‘whiten’ your complexion–though never actually delivering on that promise–regardless of whether they contain hazardous ingredients; because the possibility of contracting wrinkles, inflammation, blood poisoning, or cancer in the future is not even remotely as important as being ‘white’ now!

    You have no concept of ‘future’.

    Your idea of ‘seasoning’ is a kilo each of salt, sugar and MSG.

    You point with your lips.

    You gape to indicate that you’re listening to, and attempting to comprehend, what someone is saying.

    Your favorite pastime is sleeping, whether at the workplace or at home.

    You don’t know right from left.

    You need a calculator to perform simple arithmetic–even if you’re a ‘teacher’.

    You’re always asking customers, “Do you have [blank] pesos, Sir?”

    You assume that all white foreigners are ‘Kanos’, are wealthy, and owe you.

    You drive like a drunkard, even though you are sober.

    You honk your nostrils with your fingers, discharging dangling tendrils of mucus, just prior to shaking hands or serving food and drink.

    You spit, whenever and wherever you feel like it.

    You urinate on walls, utility poles, trees, parked vehicles, or any other convenient object, in full public view.

    In a CR (bathroom), you prefer to urinate over the shower drain, rather than on the toilet.

    You cough or sneeze among others in close quarters without turning away or covering your face.

    You shower while wearing clothes.

    You cut in line.

    1. Profile gravatar of L. "Dead Man Walking" K.
      L. "Dead Man Walking" K.

      “You knock-up girls then leave them.”

      My projects take me to every corner of the philippines. I have met countless girls in the province that have 5+ kids each with a different man, all of which have ran away. The most outrageous encounter was a 25 year old girl with 9 kids, 9 different husbands all of which have ran away in pursuit of life in the city of Manila. No sense of commitment or responsibility. The stray cats that hang around my condo in manila have more sense of responsibility

  6. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    i seen a mechanical typewriter being used today.. those things belong in a museum.
    Also went to the bank to pay bills,, of course there was a pile of carbon paper beside the teller. Who uses carbon paper in 2014..
    I would use online banking ,, but the tellers advised not to use it,, becos of scamming.
    I have noticed that the korake idiots do not sing when a certain church has their services… The idiots know they will pay dearly for their noise.
    have a good day.

  7. Profile gravatar of Frank

    That was one of the funniest things I’ve read today. My relatives are always telling me I’m going to catch a cold when the fan is on. That thing about praying being the solution to all problems is true too. Dead on. How can I get mad when it’s true? I’ve managed to convince my parents they they don’t have a contractual right to part of my paycheck. Fucking bizarre people…

  8. Profile gravatar of santoro

    if everything remotely pinoy elicits the “pinoy pride” comments.

    if pretending to be as juvenile and as big a victim as everyone else is the only way to communicate succinctly with the rest of the population here *sighs*

    if the local religious groupthink is your rule of thumb, no matter how dumb.

    if absolutely all reactions are extremely emotional in response, without any consideration of context, history, self awareness, and the bigger picture.

    i like jack black’s addition: “you resign from work by disappearing”