Knowing Your Ass From A Hole In The Ground; A Good Place To Start For Progress In Philippines

The stupidity and complete idiocy of the Filipino way of doing things has delivered the ultimate fuck-over for me and my way of earning a living. The brainless, completely irresponsible, unaccountable idiots known as native Filipinos continue to out-do their stupidity, and this time it could cost me my livelihood.

My business is 100% dependent on a somewhat consistent high speed internet connection. Time is money. My progress and volume is throttled by internet speeds and up-time. Therefore I subscribe to both PLDT and Globe DSL services.

I recently relocated, but before choosing this house, I inquired with both PLDT and Globe to make sure their DSL service is available to the house I was intending to lease. Of course if it’s not available to this particular house, there’s no way I can operate, and will have to find a house that would be within their servicing area.

So when I called and gave them the address / location of the house I would like to rent, BOTH PLDT AND GLOBE asked me for a “sketch” (or hand drawn map) to the house. There’s the first utter fucking stupidity. First of all, any PROFESSIONAL company would not ask the customer to do their job. Secondly, any PROFESSIONAL company would have maps of the city which pinpoint all of their existing connection cabinets, and the range of areas within the spans of those cabinets marked out for immediate reference. But stupid morons can’t think that well. But fully expecting complete stupidity, I did better than draw a map. I did what they should have done, went online, printed out a map of the barangay, and highlighted the path to the house and spent the better part of a day fighting traffic to and from their offices to deliver the maps. Then they said they would contact me with an answer within 24 hours.

Of course as expected, I did not hear from Globe Telecom or PLDT with their answers. So as usual, I am the one who has to call them back after 48 hours to get the information they promised to give to me within 24 hours. And of course, it was forgotten about, and nobody knew a fucking thing, nor could anyone find the maps I spend most of my day delivering to them at their inappropriate idiotic request. So the typical arguing and fighting ensues, and the call ends with the typical perpetual cycle of the 3 F’s; Forward the concern, follow up, and feedback, then forwarding of the previous forward, feedback on the forward of the forward, and follow up on the forward and it just goes on and on. Eventually, after much hair-pulling frustration and complete typical Filipino stupidity, irresponsibility and ignorance, I got an answer from them.

Both Globe Telecom and PLDT told me that they do have service available to this house I want to lease. So I initiate the transfer of both my PLDT and Globe DSL accounts, and I sign the lease for the house, and start packing, and eventually move in to the new house.

Within a day or two after moving in, PLDT shows up to install. But they give me devastating news. “I’m sorry sir, but you are not within range of the closest connection cabinet, service is not available to his house.” and to make a long story short, Globe shows up the next day to deliver the same devastating news.

Needless to say I blew my top and delivered a major tongue lashing telling them how fucking stupid they are, and now they have put me in a position of not being able to do my job or make a living. I just spent over 200,000 pesos on the costs of relocating based on the fact they confirmed that DSL service was available to this house. So much for the map I gave them! FUCKING FILIPINO IDIOTS!!!!!!!

Well, I told them now is the time to extend their service just a little bit more by installing another connection cabinet and take responsibility for the MISINFORMATION they gave me which made me move into this house. I certainly don’t have another 200,000 pesos to move again, and I am seriously fucked now. I could almost hear their thoughts about my demand to take responsibility: “hhhmmm what is responsibility? I don’t know that word”. Filipinos are complete failures.

So far, neither Globe or PLDT have done much, and refuse to extend service a few hundred meters to service my new house. I’m stuck with a wireless USB device which is shitty, slow, and completely insufficient for my requirements.

I have had to deal with Filipino stupidity, unaccountability, irresponsibility for several years, and it’s been tough but managable. But this time I just don’t know if I can recover from this complete failure from Globe and PLDT. I guess time will tell. And maybe it’s a sign that my time here is finished.

I can certainly see why most of the world community will not invest in or associate with Philippines or it’s people. They are complete and total stupid, irresponsible, unaccountable fucking idiots who don’t know the difference between their ass and a hole in the ground. I swear, these people are so fucking stupid, I am beginning to question if they’re even human!! Because I find it hard to believe that any single living thing with a brain could actually be THIS FUCKING STUPID!! The cockroaches here are smarter!


Published in Blatant Stupidiy, Communication, Filipino Customer Service, Filipino Stupidity, Globe, PLDT, Utility Companies


  1. Profile gravatar of richmess

    I know it s no consolation, but I am very sorry about the situation you find yourself in. I share your frustration and it bought a tear to ny eye when you say it is a sign that your time is finished. I know that feelin too well. The waste of money, energy, intelligence bears a real cost on the human spirit.

  2. Profile gravatar of FAFI

    Wow, I can most certainly sense a high magnitude of frustration and disappointment you have for this country. I try my absolute best to not get involved with the idiots here and try to be less dependent on their services as least as possible. That’s who I was able to manage my anger and disgust with them. They have totally pushed it for you, I can tell. I have a limited tolerance for stupidity, and how that makes me and you different is that: If this happened to me, I wouldn’t be on the internet, I would be in jail by now. I would’ve broken somebody’s neck for being that severely stupid. I accepted the fact that they are helpless pieces of shit, and I even learned to talk to them like the pieces of shit they are. BTW, I know how slow that USB internet is, I use it and it’s really fucking slow. I got that ‘StupidBro’ internet stick (well it’s really called “SmartBro”). That is because I don’t trust these fucks to sign me up for a plan with my credit card information. How long ago did this happen? It sounds like it was recent. It’s ironic that I read this because your experience is very relative to the article I just submitted on how filipino stupidity effects not only themselves, but everyone around them. Your experience is a prime example. Well, it’s more than an experience, seem more like a tragedy when it comes to dealing with these mindless fucking Pacific Islanders. For the record, they are not Asians because Asians are smart. I never heard of so many stupid Asians being in one place before. Anyway, I will talk about that in another article in the future. I enjoy reading your posts and sorry for the 6 week absence. I’m back again now.

  3. Profile gravatar of Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III
    Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III

    I hear you brother! There are just now words to adequately describe the mindless stupidity, gross ignorance, and sheer ineptitude of the staff of PLDT. Like you, I am dependent upon the internet to make a living. My biggest gripe with PLDT (and there are sooooo many to choose from) is their internet speeds. On a 5 mbps plan (the best they could provide) they guaranteed me a minimum seed at all times of 3 mbps. There are days when get 0.01 mbps for pretty much the entire work day. The idiotic manner in which these air thieves have attempted to deal with the problem defies description. It would probably take a five page blog post to go into it – and that blog post would of course finish with me still having speeds of 0.01 mpbs on a guaranteed minimum 3 mbps speed. Your post is a warning to me. My lease expires soon and we have actively been looking for somewhere that has fiber to the node available. It seems clear that I am not going to be able to rely upon either Telco to tell me if they can deliver the service. They clearly don’t fucking know! There are two words I’d like to add to your 3F’s – “The FE”. I call it the five great lies of Pinoy customer service;


    Each one of these words is equally meaningless. Whenever I call PLDT (which is almost every day) the first thing I tell the mental retard on the other end of the phone is that they not permitted to use the words forward, follow-up, feedback, escalate or endorse at any point during their conversation with me. They are warned that use of these words will immediately result in me turning into the customer from Hell. Needless to say, I ALWAYS turn into the customer from Hell. The fucking air thieves who work (and I use the term very loosely) for PLDT are 100% deserving of the verbal abuse that I now regularly give to them. Trying to step through problems with them and find logical solutions is just a complete waste of time, effort and my now very limited patience. Both PLDT and Globe are little more than government sanctioned, criminal enterprises. The people who run these organizations are thieves, and deserve to be in prison. Of course, with so many retarded Pinoys ready to just bend over and take it up the ass from these guys, that will never happen.

  4. Profile gravatar of huwag-kang-tanga

    I feel the pain man. I’m an IT guy here so I’ll give you some options. One go buy a globe tattoo 4g stick, I’ve had suprising success with this option Globe’s LTE is starting to make progress and even their 3.5g HSPDA+ seems to be function better, it’s not DSL but I’ve been getting in the 1 to 2mbps range when connected to HSPDA+ and close to 5mbps on LTE. That’s in the Pasig/Ortigas area not sure where you are located. Another option is instead of getting a home line, ask pldt about a business line they tend to be more willing to help business customers, if you are in the Pasig area I can give you the contact of the guy I work with, though not smart, he did what I asked. Also one other provider of dsl is bayantel, I hate them with a passion, but if you don’t have any other options at least it’s dsl. The final option would be sky cable, they now have cable internet, I’ve been considering switching to their service after I demoed a 100mbps connection last month in my office, the problem is availability, they have a limited are of service. If you are desperate you could purchase a router that has multi lan connectivity and aggregate the service.(ie 3 globe tattoo sticks linked together yielding higher collective speeds.)Feel free to contact me if you need help with anything.

  5. Profile gravatar of

    Yeah, the internet providers has a fetish for sketches here.
    I was to relocate a DSL connection from my office located on the second floor of the same building as the Globe office to a house located next to a Globe cabinet, which I gave them the id of.
    Man did the lady behind the desk sound stupid when she asked for a sketch to both location. I asked her how she made it to work in the morning without a sketch, and if they didn’t have any idea of where their own cabinets are located.

    1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
      Captain PFB Post author

      You’re right. Rather than buy maps of their areas and pinpoint their cabinets with id #’s on the map (or even just use an online map like google maps, which you can pinpoint things), they, without any logic, reason, or consideration to the customer, and by mindless idiotic default, ask for a sketch.

      But even asking for a sketch is an illusion in my case. They asked for a sketch. I did even better; I did what they very easily could have done, and went online, found my area, highlighted the path to my house, printed it, and brought it to them. Both Globe and PLDT. IT DID ABSOLUTELY NO GOOD WHATSOEVER. They just mindlessly said they could service my house with DSL connection. I then rented the house, moved in, and when PLDT showed up, “sorry sir, you’re too far from the cabinet”. Next day, Globe showed up and said the same fucking thing. I can’t believe the utter stupidity. THIS WAS INFORMATION I WAS ASKING FOR BEFORE deciding to lease the house!!!!!!! More than that, this information was 100% the deciding factor to lease the house or not. I MUST HAVE AN INTERNET CONNECTION to generate my income!!! FUCKING BRAINLESS STUPID SHIT-HEADS Filipinos are!!!

      1. Profile gravatar of heyjoe

        FILO. I hope you were able to resolve your problem. I have lost track of the times I have been promised by these ignorant stupid Filipinos that they could or would do something just to find out that they had no idea what the fuck they were talking about. Then when they are confronted about their fuck ups they have no remorse what so ever that they totally fucked over you and cost you time and money. It is never ending. You can never depend on anything you are told or promised until it has actually been completed. What gets me is the ease with which they make these promises knowing that they are lying and not caring how much they inconvenience you or how much it is going to cost you. It seems like their only goal is to make themselves look good at the moment and then to get rid of you so they can go on to fucking over the next person they deal with. So one rule to live by is to NEVER EVER believe what you are being told by a Filipino. Another rule is NEVER EVER trust a Filipino and by all means DO NOT ever give any cash advances.

        1. Profile gravatar of

          True. Another event was when we rebuilt the kitchen in our resort. We asked for a timeframe, as we needed to close down the place as you can’t be open when you can’t serve food. We were promised a date and I emphasised the importance of being finished on the said date. Of course they weren’t. Had builders breaking cement walls in the kitchen at the same time we were fully booked with customers. It’s more fail…

          1. Profile gravatar of heyjoe

            I feel your pain. We are remodeling our house right now and it can be a complete cluster fuck dealing with these idiots. Trying to get an idea of how long something will take is nearly impossible. They just make shit up. Promise things that they think will make you happy but they have no desire to actually do what they tell you. They just make up shit to get the job and once you get started on the project they figure you are stuck with them until its finished. Then there is the process of getting building permits. Dealing with these slugs in government is a real treat. Glad my wife has to take care of that.

        2. Profile gravatar of FAFI

          Ah men to that brother. I learned myself the hard way to never trust these fuckin idiots. I never expect anything from them except for the very worst. I just ordered an item off a T.V. commercial, I immediately cut him off after he said,”Our shipment will get to you on Friday at….(I told him to literally “shut up” at this moment.) Last thing I ever want is to be disappointed by these primitive piece of shits. I didn’t want him to give me a time in fear that he will be 100% guaranteed late, then I’m gonna even more pissed off when they arrive. Well they finally showed up at 7:30pm, I bet that wasn’t the time they were gonna tell me, but it kept my mind at ease knowing that I wasn’t expecting them to show up any sooner. Of course I paid with ‘Cash on delivery’ even thought they had a credit card option. Which is beneficial that way I don’t risk the chance of these fuckers stealing my credit card information for their own benefit, plus they may fuck up the delivery and never show up, since never asking me for a sketch or where is my place is near by. I don’t expect anything good from a Filipino when it comes down to ‘Quality Service.’ Everything they do is already pre-meditated, therefore I treat them like dog shit before they fuck up my order or whatever services they are offering just to get my share first. Many broken promises, planned events going to hell, and lateness by these Filipinos is what have driven me to react this way to them. I’m contemplating if they are even human?

          1. Profile gravatar of heyjoe

            That’s why it’s so hard on Foreigners to move over here. Most of us are use to competent service, promises being kept and warranties being honored. Then we get here are are lied to and cheated on a regular basis. At first we are in shock because we can’t believe that people can be so incompetent and dishonest. Then after being fucked over several times we learn that that’s the way it’s always going to be here. So then thru experience we expect to get fucked over and learn how to protect ourselves, don’t believe anything we are told and avoid the disappointment. For as we have all found out, for them to actually to do something right is God-Damned near impossible

  6. Profile gravatar of FAFI

    Out of all the fuckin Filipino idiots I deal with on a daily basis, I can honestly say that only 0.2% of them are intelligent judging from my experience and interactions with Filipinos. My course professor may be an example of an intelligent Filipino, and sad to say, she sees half of what we all talk about through the actions of her classmates. She even admitted that the majority of her classmates are idiots. It takes alot of balls for a Filipino to call another Filipino an idiot, and she is not even a guy…lol. She often gets as stressed out as I do when it comes to my idiot classmates. If it wasn’t for her accent, language, and her uncontrollable urge to eat rice for breakfast, lunch, and dinner (like everyone else here), you may confuse her for being a non-filipino due to her intelligence. The point of this comment is not to brag about my smart filipina teacher, because I’m sure she holds some of the other negative traits of a typical filipino that we preach about everyday. The point is that if ONE can do it, then maybe there is a glimmer of hope for them after all, it’s just going to take them centuries for them all to achieve that level. If some country was smart enough to start a war with Philippines, completely conquer them, have everything rebuilt and everybody repopulated, then Philippines would have an even greater chance at becoming the Prideful great country they always talked about being. I hope this makes any sense to somebody.

  7. Profile gravatar of heyjoe

    Makes perfect sense. There was an article written several years ago. I can’t remember the author’s name. I believe he was an American. After spending a long time in the Philippines he wrote that the Philippines would actually be a great place if it wasn’t for the Filipinos. Needless to say he caught a lot of grief from the Filipino population. Sort of like Dan Brown on his recent book where he described Manila as the gates to hell.

  8. Profile gravatar of

    Hello to all. I am virgin to this blog spot, be gentle. I am also a tall white Kano who has found himself in Bicol. My love interest of nearly 5 years is the laziest and dumbest Filipina I have come accross, makes me kinda dumb too, I suppose. I have a son with her, he is 3 Y.O. and smarter than she is already. She has cousins and an uncle who are quite industious and by Philippine standars, very successful.
    OK to the point….If any native Filipino’s are reading this, I am glad you’re hear. I am starved for intelligent exchanges with anyone whose brain is not completely trashed by ABS-CBN and Emperador light. I won’t spend a lot of time desparaging Filipinos, but I will offer blistering critiques concerning Fil entertainment and the farcical government.
    With that, howdy-hi y’all.