Late But Coming!!!??

Well here I am again with another tale of grief, frustration and WTF situation. Last August my daughter sent a balkibayan box from the midwest. Pretty simple because as you might have guess there are filipino stores to drop the boxes off at. Pretty simple? I forgot we were dealing with filipinos and yest filipinos in the states are just as stupid and fuck ups as they are here, in case your wondering. SO,,,,,,,, on with the tale.

My daughter whom I’ll call Marie dropped said box off at the house of the store owner who gave her paperwork with a tracking number (after PAY ME FIRST.) and promptly put the box in his garage. There was the first warning I guess. The second? Well the garage was almost filled with boxes going out. Now we can safely assume these are not Christmas boxes, at least not for the year 2014 because as we all know,,,,,,,,, filipinos wait till very last minute to do anything. So the filipino tells my daughter the tracking number will be in the system in a day and he’s taking the boxes to Chicago the weekend coming. He tells her it will be delivered to me in 30 days. WARNING THREE and FOUR,,,, a filipino telling you they will do something and at a certain time.

So off my daughter goes back to her house all happy and content the errand was done. Well the tracking number did not get in the system for THREE WEEKS!!! Well the box sat in his garage for TWO WEEKS then in Chicago then on the ship on the West coast but it’s on it’s way right??? So after two delays the ship finally leaves the states headed to the mysterious orient with my box, remember the 30 days delivery that state filipino and LBC here said. So come OCTOBER the box is still not delivered and told delivery on ship arrives CDO 31OCT,,,, NOT!!!! Banging your head on the wall yet? Just hang on as it gets better. Starting about 20Oct we called CDO LBC and LBC EVERYDAY checking on said box and arranged to pick it up in CDO since we were there and not in Surigao any more.

“No problem sir. We will hold your box at our warehouse in CDO for you to pick up.) WARNING FIVE

Now keep in mind we called both offices up every day about holding the box in CDO. Simple right? Not for filipinos. Well the ship finally arrives in CDO and has to clear customs THEN I can get my box from the warehouse,,,, PLEASE STOP LAUGHING!!!! If you thought stupid and fucked up already, just wait. So box sits on ship for another week while customs “does” their job,  box cleared!!!! Go get it right??? WRONG!!!! Remember the phone calls EVERYDAY about picking it up in CDO??? So now after 80+ days for something that was to be delivered in 30 days I’m told the following:

“Your box is going by ship to Cebu, from Cebu put on another ship to Surigao. We’ll deliver it in 2 weeks.”

Me: “Why is it going to Cebu when I said I would pick it up in CDO?”

LBC: “Because we don’t have a truck going to Surigao to deliver it.”

Me: “Keep it in CDO warehouse and I will pick it up.”

LBC: “You want us to hold the box here at our warehouse in CDO?”

Me: “YES!!!! Like I have been calling everyday for the past three weeks telling you.”

I hope you all see more warning signs as I did. So on a fine day in DECEMBER, a Saturday we sent someone to get the box. BUT hold on Tonto, it’s not at the warehouse in CDO nor on the ship to Cebu, so where is it I ask.

“It’s on the truck going to Surigao to deliver it.” The truck they don’t have remember?

Me: “When will it be delivered in Surigao?”

LBC: “Two weeks.”

So let’s just cut to the chase now as I’m past pissed off and tore into them. To there credit they did get the truck stopped and the box back to CDO that same Saturday but I was told they would open the warehouse and give it to me Sunday. WARNING!!!!! So Sunday rolls around and they refuse to open the warehouse because it’s Sunday and their closed. So why tell me Sunday if they knew they were closed on Sunday?? Filipino thinking or lack there of I assume. Did I get the box Sunday? YES!!!!! But only because the guy I sent to get it did not take their shit, not a man to be trifled with. Now for all the excuses. Then comes the excuses:

1.) You never asked us to hold it in CDO

2.) LBC national never told us to hold it.

3.) We didn’t get the email from LBC main office to hold it because we don’t check our email.

4.) We don’t understand English. ( But it was my wife who called both offices and spoke to them in tagalog and bisaya).

Guess this proves a few points.

1.) Most filipinos are incompetent.

2.) Nothing is ever a filipinos fault.

3.)Never expect quality or service.

So last night I got a message from my daughter. She has another box ready to send. Here we go again. Pray for me.

Published in Filipino Customer Service, Filipino Stupidity


  1. Profile gravatar of Mike
    Mike Post author


    I thought you would like that one. As for me I’m still banging my head on the wall trying to figure it out. There has to be another company that more reliable.

    1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
      Captain PFB

      Things like this I COMPLETELY expect. I throw a fucking mini-party anytime something goes right, or something is done as a filipino said it would be done. Because it is such a rare and momentous occasion.

      I swear to fuck, when you talk to them on the phone, and you tell them something, and they verbally say “ok” or confirm, I have to believe that when they hang up the phone, they do absolutely nothing, except completely forget or blatantly disregard your request.

      I can’t tell you how many times I have spoken to a manager on the phone, and I say, “So you’re not just telling me that, you’re ACTUALLY GOING TO DO THIS, CORRECT?”

      “Yes sir, I promise, I will call you tomorrow to let you know”

      99.999999999999999999999999999999999% of the time, tomorrow never comes, and the 30 minute conversation was a complete and utter waste of breath.

      I have never experienced such utter failure than when filipinos are involved. You cannot ever rely on their word, EVER. Everything you try to do, buy, or go to, there is always a series of some kind of brainless, dumbfuck failures.

      So I have learned to completely expect them, and do my planning accordingly, and always have 2 or 3 contingency plans in place. 9 times out of 10, I can accurately predict the failure that will happen, and I’m usually right on target with my prediction of failure.

      That’s why we call it FAILippines.

      1. Profile gravatar of Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III
        Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III

        I’ve found that having an expectation of failure, plus a contingency plan works for me. To even think that these brain-dead zombie creatures might be able to do ANYTHING without numerous fuck-ups is unrealistic. Build in the stupidity factor. You’ll never be disappointed that way.

  2. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
    Captain PFB

    Exactly CyberGod, always expect the fuck ups. It reduces the disappointment, and it can be sort of fun and therapeutic to play a game of “predict the failure”. Make small wagers with your friends! Make it fun! LOL!!!

  3. Profile gravatar of Mike
    Mike Post author

    Sounds like we all do the same thing. I tell my wife what the excuse will be or what to expect before we even leave the house. She calls it third eye. Third eye? No. I just know how they work and think now.

  4. Profile gravatar of Sarah

    Mike, I sent the Balikbayan box from Oz first week of January 2015. I called the agent last week of May to find out where my bos wad. I was told to “wait a while Lang Sarah, they’re unloading a container tomorrow”.

    So now we’re in June 2015. Am flying to that hell-hole in 5 weeks. I hope I get my box before that.

    Never again!!

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike
      Mike Post author

      I noticed LBC brags about being the largest shipper of boxes but don’t brag about customer service, timely delivery or anything positive.

    2. Profile gravatar of Mike
      Mike Post author


      Refer to the warnings in the post. You were given two of them,,,, a promise and a certain time.

      OPPPS I goofed!!!! He said “they’re unloading A container tomorrow.” He did not say they were unloading YOUR container. There is his built in filipino loop hole or excuse.

      1. Profile gravatar of Sarah

        I’m gonna have to give her a warning tomorrow: No box by end of this month, I want my money back!!

        Sorry for the typo errors guys, am using my phone because I’m at work.

  5. Profile gravatar of Mike
    Mike Post author

    Sarah Dear,

    That’s why we just LOVE you on this site. Your so kind hearted and understanding. Giving them another 2 1/2 weeks to do something that should have been done 3-4 months ago. Now, I’ll tell you what to expect. Come the end of the deadline your box will still be in the filipino abyss as confused as Alice was after she went down the rabbit hole. In addition the agent will have excuses NOT to refund your money. The only thing filipinos hate more than running out of rice is refunding money but not sure which they place first.

    Any how expect to hear “It will be delivered this week”, or asked for more time. Nothing against you but I don’t see Filo, Cyber, myself being so pleasant about the excuses and lack of performance. Scotland has William Wallance the Braveheart. The land of Oz has Sarah the Goodheart.

    1. Profile gravatar of Sarah

      Well, I still have the receipt. These Pinoys might get away with it in da Failippines, but here in Oz we have something called “consumer affairs”. I will get a refund if I don’t get my box before I fly out of here.

  6. Profile gravatar of Elias Loco
    Elias Loco

    LOL. They told you to pick up the item on a Sunday then on that day they’re telling you it’s closed because “it’s a non-working day Sunday”, that must be very infuriating! Total fail. My goodness…

  7. Profile gravatar of Beavis

    I have had very good success when using either FedEx or UPS. The package arrives exactly when promised, unopened, and in good condition.

    I think the problem lies in relying on anything having to do with the Philippine postal service. I never dared shipping a package with the US Postal service. Paying the extra expense to ensure only a foreign shipping company handles it seems to eliminate the extra nonsense.

    And about the Philippine postal service: the other thing I have noticed is including even the smallest item inside a greeting card or letter is a big factor in whether it arrives to its destination or not. For example, a greeting card will usually make it there. However, if you include photos inside the greeting card, that will be an almost 100% guarantee that it will get “lost”. Just the thickness of the envelope seems to arouse curiosity.

    1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
      Captain PFB

      Philippine Postal Service is truly the most unbelievably lame, crippled, incompetent bunch of thieving vermin on the face of the planet. Right up there with politicians and other elected officials.

  8. Profile gravatar of Sarah

    So I have an update on my Balikbayan box…

    Went to the agent this morning, in person. Her name was Sita.

    Me: Sita, I sent that box beginning of January, it is now 6 months and no box and I’m flying out of here in 4 weeks!

    Sita: Oh Sarah, I spoke to my agent in Cebu and they told me that they’ve been delivering boxes this week.

    Me: You said that last month!

    Sita: I will text them now and tell them to prioritize Cebu.

    Me: OK, sure. But if no box by the last week that I’m leaving here, I’m taking you to consumer affairs.

    Sita: You will get it before you fly out of here, I promise.

    So I left, no point wasting time arguing with a lying, brainless Pinay.

    I went to the next store, owned by Alice, another Pinay I’ve known since I was at High School. I ventilated to Alice how my box still has not arrived in Cebu and it’s been 6 months. Alice was horrified. She said it should only take 6-8 weeks max for BB boxes to get there even if the destination was the provinces.

    Furthermore, Alice informed me that another Pinay sent a BB box to the Philippines using Sita’s agency and she never received it, and never got compensated/paid back for the missing boxes. It costs $Au165 to send one of those damn things!

    Now, Alice used to also handle Balikbayan boxes plus the moneygram/western union. But Alice dropped the BB box part of her business because, according to her, Sita was giving her the cold shoulder and Alice suspects that Sita did not want Alice to compete with her (Sita). But recently, Sita had gone to Alice’s store and openly told her to drop the money gram business as well!!

    Can you believe this folks? So here comes a Pinay business woman intimidating a Pinay competitor!!! I could not believe this when I heard it. I told Alice “We are in democratic Australia, not in Italy where the Mafias run wild!”.

    Anyway, Alice informed me that she is restoring her BB box business. Whether I received my BB box or not, I will never use Sita’s BB agency again!

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike
      Mike Post author

      We can arrange for some filipinos on a scooter do do a drive by at Sitas or would you prefer black candles?? Starting to sound like your box was stolen.

      1. Profile gravatar of Sarah

        Oh, I sure hope it was not stolen. Thieving Pinoy bastards! If it was stolen, I will help Alice re-build her BB box business by giving her all the BB box that I need to send there. So many Pinoys actually don’t use Sita’s business anymore. I guess that’s why she started intimidating Alice. But I just could not believe the hide of the woman! (Sita that is). She thinks she’s still in da Failippines!!

        Tandem riders are soooo tempting for Sita. But I shall leave her fate to consumer affairs.

      2. Profile gravatar of Mike
        Mike Post author

        Know what might be worth a shot? Talk to those other filipinos and see how many of their boxes shipped through Sita were “lost” see if there is an unusual high number. could only help with consumer affairs. But If Sita still thinks she in the philippines then maybe she is swiping them and laying blame over here. Said will call to make it look good on her part.

  9. Profile gravatar of Sarah

    Thanks for the advise, but I don’t really know many Filipinos here nowadays. Only those I do business with, like Sita who sells Asian groceries, and Alice who sells imported stuff like handbags, clothes and shoes. I’ll keep you posted how it goes. I hope it’s not gonna get worse….. 🙁

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike
      Mike Post author


      Get worse? Remember one thing, your dealing with a filipino who still think and act like they are in the philippines.

    2. Profile gravatar of Mike
      Mike Post author

      I don’t mean to sound negative at all. But I have been dealing with these pricks for years and pretty much know how they operate. Even my wife tells them my time here has not been a good experience and some of the things that have happened.
      I then get the “Sooooo Soorrrryyy for that”. Wife says I should blend in and make friends to which I reply “The less I’m around filipinos the more I like it.”

      Find an intellegent conversation? FORGET THAT!
      Go out without them trying to cheat you? NO WAY!

      They way they act, think and such makes one feel like Einstein surrounded by a bunch of spoiled preschoolers.

      One other thing. When referring to my marriage I ask one favor of you. PLEASE don’t put happy in the sentence.

    3. Profile gravatar of Mike
      Mike Post author

      As to the advise. Try a different angle leaving out the filipinos. Contact consumer affairs and see what complaints they have on file about Sita. I’m assuming your consumer affairs is like the BBB in the states so they just might have a record of complaints on her.

      Now since you are coming,,,,,,, do I get my Samsung tablet, laptop, new cell phone (all brand new of course and 6 cases of beer?

      1. Profile gravatar of Sarah

        “Now since you are coming,,,,,,, do I get my Samsung tablet, laptop, new cell phone (all brand new of course and 6 cases of beer?”

        Ha! what do you think I am, I zillionaire?? (BTW, that’s what I usually tell my free-loading rallies) 🙂 And I get that Pinoy smile (are they stupid or they’re thinking I am??).

    4. Profile gravatar of Mike
      Mike Post author


      That’s what I tell them too. “Do I look like Wells Fucking Fargo to you? If I had all the money you think I do I would live in the states, Germany, France, Japan or next door to Sarah. Not this shit hole.” Should see the look on their face then. I just had to throw the Sarah part in, could not resist.

      1. Profile gravatar of Sarah

        LOL! Mikey, I think even if we give these Pinoy relatives $US100 million, it’s never enough!!

        Had a Kano friend who used to support the Pinay GF $2000 a month, yes, $2000 a month in da Pinas, plus bought the mum sari-sari store, fishing boat for dad and tricyle for brother. And oh, put her up in a paid for condo by the way. So all the she had to pay for out of that $US2000 are utilities. She refused to live in the condo, opting to stay with her parents in the provinces, then complained that the $2000 a month was NOT enough!! How many Pinoys earn P80,0000? (at conservative exchange rate) a month?? Not only that, the little bitch was unfaithful anyway, got pregnant to another foreign man. Once a whore, always a whore, no matter you dip them into gold plating alloys.

        Oh, you’re welcome to use my name in vain any time 🙂

      2. Profile gravatar of FHPS

        Mike.. yep .. the story below about the $2k a month. So so common. Theres some foreigners who are trying to prove something and my friend did the same. setup the brothers with land, trike business blah blah and then the girlfriend keeps saying “i don’t think you love me”.

        Filipinas at the true core apart from 95% being fucking idiots are self absorbed and self centred greedy individuals and it don’t matter if its $2,000 a month or $20,000 a month they will still suck the fuckers dry.

        Ive seen guys giving 50k a month to bar girls to keep them out of the bar lol still working there to try and get pot luck to meet a foreigner to get a visa out and they hand most of the money over to the family.

    5. Profile gravatar of Mike
      Mike Post author


      They never really are happy. Always give me, give me, give me. Now, why would I want to use your name in vain?

      1. Profile gravatar of Sarah

        “Now, why would I want to use your name in vain?”

        I was quoting the ten commandments….’thou shalt not use thy name in vain’. 🙂

  10. Profile gravatar of justsomeflip

    We once had some relatives from the states come and visit. They had some of their stuff sent in advance. They came and went, and their package arrived here months later. @#*!

  11. Profile gravatar of Bastos

    I’ve always used Manila Express to send boxes here and they always arrive with in the 6 weeks they say. They are run by Filipinos and their website sucks – they have a tracking trace page but it hasn’t worked in years, if ever, but my boxes have always arrived. I’m not sure if they are Canada only…

  12. Profile gravatar of FHPS

    My cheating ex filipina who wanted the lifestyle upgrade by riding other foreigners had her mum send 6 balkibayan box’s and all had been opened by whoever thieving fucking lying hands before they arrived and in most as much as half the contents had been rifled through and/or nicked.