What you are about to read is more than just a story. It’s a sequence of truly messed up bullshit. It’s all true. It’s all horrible. And it happened to me.
#1. I met her at Starbucks. I thought we would meet inside. But no, she’s waiting OUTSIDE for me. Orders a waffle and coffee, then she’s gone one hour later. Next day she invites me to her house and tells me to bring bottle of wine. I show up, meet the friend who seems eager to take the wine off me. Then the girl wants to go greenbelt. Orders starter, puts it in a doggie bag. Orders main course, puts that in doggie bag too. Then she suggests Café Havana. I pass. We go to Starbucks. She hints that the Chicken Sandwich looks great. I decline to order that for her seeing as she already has 2 doggie bags already. I get her a coffee. Im pissed off so I decide to leave. She takes her coffee with her 2 doggie bags. She tells me to drop her home in the taxi. Next day she texts me and asks me to take her to Makati Med for her “stomach pain”. I decline and don’t see her again. She tells me she’s not a scammer.
#2. I meet girl and take her to upmarket Italian. She spends the whole date on facebook and tells me she’s sorry but her gay friend keeps messaging her. I can make out the messages on her phone: “BWAHAHAAH!” and “Woz up?”. I decide to leave and don’t see her again. Next day I receive a text from her. She’s upset. “My American boyfriend doesn’t text me anymore” she said. Oh dear…..
#3. I message attractive female on dating site. She wants to meet but keeps asking for my room number and hotel. I decline to tell her suggesting we meet in public. Happens again next night. Next night I get another text. “Hi, I’m a bi-discreet male looking for fun…..”. I decline to meet. Turns out the whole “Im female” description and photo on the dating site wasn’t exactly correct.
#4. Im invited to a girls house. She’s very attractive. She buys me rum and puts on some DVDs while she chats to her friends. The DVD is so quiet and picture so crap I cant even understand the film. The whole house smells of raw sewage and she’s spraying the place with air freshener. I go to the CR and nearly puke. Suddenly she says she has to meet an Australian friend (male) but will see me later. Then she asks if she can stay in my hotel room but then again she cant decide if she wants to. I decline and tell her to go and see the Aussie guy. Naturally I don’t see her again. I get a text asking me to go over to her house again the next night. I decline. Later on I bump into her friend who tells me she’s very upset with me for not seeing her anymore. Hmmmmm…….
#5. She invites me to her house. Some people answer the door and I sit down at the table. I was asked to bring wine (notice a theme developing?). I chat to girl’s friends and relatives. However, she sits at the far end of the long room, just looking at me and staring at her cell phone. After a few hours her friends persuade (read: tell me) me to go and sit with the girl who is acting like a princess. I go over and immediately she goes and sits in the bedroom, on her phone, gazing at me from the darkness like a cat under a bed. We have barely spoken the whole night. She then says she’s gonna take a massage. I say I might as well go home then. I leave and don’t see her again. Next day she invites me over and says it will be fun. Yeah right….
#6. I plan to meet her at Greenbelt at 9pm. She says she’s classy. Says she has family in the U.S. and likes hanging out at posh clubs. After an hour of fending off ladyboys and prostitutes, she doesn’t show up. Get a text saying she’ll be an hour later but she’s on her way. 2 hours pass and she doesn’t show up. I leave. At 2am I get a text saying she’s in a nightclub and why don’t I join her. I decline. A month later I get a text asking me to invest in her business. I tell her to send me a business plan – she agrees. I’m still waiting for the business plan by the way.
#7. I meet a girl who I get on with. It goes well for a few days then she suggests I invest in a property and sends the literature to me. She says she can live in the apartment while I’m away and look after it for me. I get cold feet and don’t see her again.
#8. I get a text from a girl at 3am and asks me to meet her (for the first time) in a nightclub near Ayala. I don’t go.
#9. I arrange to meet a girl in Makati. She texts and says she’s on her way. 3 hours later she isn’t there. I text back and cancel the date. I get lots of abuse and she tells me to be “decent”. End of that one.
#10. I date a girl for 6 months. We get on fine. She texts me and asks for nearly 70000pesos for house deposit for her and her gay friend who are both house hunting. She says she and friend will pay it back to me the very next day. I decline. She tells me I’m dumped.
#11. I agree to meet girl at metro station. Im there on time. Only she’s at a different one. I go there and she’s with a friend. She hints at going to bars and restaurants. I suspect she wants a feed. She’s no looker! I bail out and go home.
#12. Im dating a girl for over a year. During this period I pay for flights, hotels, food, clothing, gifts for family, medicine, doctors, taxis, coco juice…basically everything. 100s of thousands of pesos. During this time I wasn’t treated to a single drink, not even a glass of water. She’s obsessed with selfies and facebook. She orders additional dishes and drinks in restos, but only for herself. She tells me to tip everyone from taxi drivers, porters and strange roadside people. I decide to dump her.