? Lust At First Sight ?

The other day my wife and I went to SM mall to pick up a few things, get out of the house and stroll around. Walking along I saw in the distance her and moved in closer to take a look at her with wife following my gaze and my body. I suspect she was also watching to see if a lump started to grow on my crotch as well. I will admit it was hard keeping it down, no pun intended. So as I drew closer I could see that she had all the bumps and curves in the right place, a thing of beauty without a doubt.

So I’m standing there staring at the eye candy trying not to drool to much when wife starts talking to me, she see the lust in my eyes no doubt:

Wife: You really like her don’t you?

Me: What’s not to like? I mean look at her body, the curves and bumps in all the right places.

Wife: So, what do you want to do with her?

Me: I would love to put my hands on her and make her purr like a kitten when being softly stroked. I would love to rub her down.

Wife: You would would you?

Me: Yes, very much so. I know I can make her purr.

So my wife stands there for a few seconds watching me enjoy the eye candy when she starts in again:

Wife: So what would you do?

Me; I would mount here in a heart beat right here and now if I could get away with it.

Wife: Would you really?

Me: Oh yes! Just try me, tempt me even.

Wife then starts shaking her head, grabs me by the arm and leads me away. But all the while I have to keep looking back, I can’t help it, she was so BEAUTIFUL and SEXY all decked out in her black outfit.

Yes, she was that good looking sitting there in the middle of the wide aisle at SM sat a brand new, fresh from Milwaukee the first HARLEY DAVIDSON I have seen since coming to the PI. Now you guys get you minds out of the gutter ok?



Published in Humor


    1. Profile gravatar of Mike
      Mike Post author

      I figure it this way. One fine morning I will get out of bed, go squirt the porcelain and then get dressed. Then as I walk outside, sitting in my driveway will be that Harley with a sign that says “Gift from God” and tied in a yellow ribbon. But don’t worry, I will know that it really came from Sarah or yourself and not god.

  1. Profile gravatar of ConCanuck

    Mike – I can appreciate you getting hot and heavy for the Harley. My husband would probably cream his pants if he saw a Triumph given his Anglo-Saxon roots. Both are so much more sophisticated than the souped-up wanna-be crotch rockets the locals drive. Still can’t believe how they think its OK to pile on half their family on a small bike. And the irony is, its the adults wearing the helmets with their youngins’ totally exposed. I cringed seeing a family of 4 weaving through traffic jungle of metro Manila. **eye roll*

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike
      Mike Post author

      There is a pinoy around here who has a green scooter. Have to call them scooters because not big enough to be a real motorcycle. Anyway he put on this muffler that tries to make it sound like a Harley. Poor fool, I mean the scooter is green and he revs it thinking it is a Harley. I would love to have a Harley and when hear him coming, go outside, start it up and pass him on the road.

      1. Profile gravatar of FilamboredinthePH

        I’ll bite on this comment. You know that scooter that is pretty much the ultimate racing boy machine known as the Suzuki Raider 150? So in my city there are whordes of them everywhere with open pipes and all the accessory bling. Now I’m not a hater by any means. I love motorcycles. Been riding since I was a teen and I’ve got all over the U.S. on two wheels. But I do notice these guys on Raiders tend to ride pretty fucking reckless even when traffic dictates now is a good time to chill for a bit.

        So anyways one of my favorite moves (I ride a Ninja 650 which is basically a rocket ship in the Philippines) is to tail a Raider riding “aggressively” on the highway and I wait for him to make one of those passes where they love to swing wide to be showy while passing and right at that moment he’s making the pass, his throttle is wide open, the exhaust can’t be any louder, and I just let my bike RIPPPPPP past him like he’s standing still. I just have a stock exhaust so all the roar they get is air intake and engine.

        Ok fine I get a lot of ego when I ride but out in the province there’s nothing more satisfying than riding a fast motorcycle 🙂

        1. Profile gravatar of Mike
          Mike Post author

          Back in the 80’s when in navy a guy two doors down had a 58 sportster. We became friends and I would go over and read Easy Riders and drink a beer. On the carpet in the living room was an oil stain by the tv. Every night he would bring the Harley in and park it in the living room.

          1. Profile gravatar of Sarah

            I would loved to ride a bike in the Philippines. But with all the lunatic, suicidal Flips driving around breaking every road rules in the book (road rules? What is that? asked a Flip primate) – I think I will keep my Military Jeep. A genuine 6 cylinder solid bodied Military jeep versus a motorbike… who do you think will come second best?

    2. Profile gravatar of Phil Doh
      Phil Doh

      Isn’t that just the worse sight – a mother and father on a bike wearing helmets (because it’s the law) and a baby crammed between them, and at night with no lights on.

    3. Profile gravatar of Catabisis

      I am an American. I owned a Harley and so did/does a slew of friends and acquaintances. But when my eyes kissed a Royal Enfield, my God, it was love at first sight.

    1. Profile gravatar of


      Hah. In Russian is maszyna right? Sorry for the spelling. Once I was showing a direction to one russian and talked polish and quart russian and repeated myself saying maszyna. He looked very confused. In polish maszynka is machine, in Russian it means car.

  2. Profile gravatar of snakebitbytheflips

    Good one, Mike! I am still laughing up a storm!

    Methinks you would be better off with a Harley than a flip. The Harley would give you much more enjoyment, cost you much less, never make your life a living hell if you don’t center your world around it, and–best of all–every few years you can trade it in for a newer and better model 🙂

    Only problem is riding one over there. Not only would you need to worry about being creamed by another vehicle with a drunk baboon at the wheel, but a cool ride like that could subject you to being “Harley-jacked” at gunpoint by baboons who have no concept of consequences for their actions.

    I would rather ride a new Harley through the streets of “Bed-Stuy” (Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn, New York City) on a Saturday night in the summertime than ride one in the Land of Imbeciles.

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike
      Mike Post author

      Pinay, Harley,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, both fun to ride!!!! I did tell her how a Harley was good for sex though, but she did not believe me I think. Told her you start the engine and let it idle then the woman lays down on her back legs over each side. Man get between them and as he rides her he revs the engine sending a vibration through her. Also told her have to put a pillow under her head and she said it was nice that I was thinking so she would not get hurt. Told her not that. I don’t want you banging your head into the gas tank and denting it. The things you learn from Harley riders huh?

    2. Profile gravatar of Sarah

      “The Harley would give you much more enjoyment, cost you much less, never make your life a living hell if you don’t center your world around it, and–best of all–every few years you can trade it in for a newer and better model 🙂 ”

      Concur 100% Snake. Plus Harleys don’t get fat and they don’t do tampo!

  3. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
    Captain PFB

    I am not a motorcycle rider, but I have ridden a few motorcycles in my life. But the day I first rode a Harley, it was a completely new and different experience from any other bike I have ridden. My sister let me take her new Harley for a ride. It was in Carson City, NV. Took it for a much longer ride than she really wanted me to. I took it up the mountain to S. Lake Tahoe and back. What a ride.

    1. Profile gravatar of Johnny

      I think a place in or near Subic bay rents Harley’s.

      Anyone ever been to Thailand and rent scooters or motorcycles there? It is so fun and easy. So I wonder why they don’t have rentals here. I heard of some Aussie tourists in Naga getting in trouble because they did not have an international DL.
      Any insight into this?

      1. Profile gravatar of Sarah

        Johnny, I don’t have a Philippine driver’s license because one of my Kano friends informed me that I can use my Aussie license for 3 months. I have never checked this with LTO though and I don’t intend to because chances are, they will tell me some BS and say “yes Ma’am you have to have one right now” just so they can extract money from me. Maybe I’ll find out next time I’m in the Philippines.

        Realistically, why worry about a driver’s license when most Pinoys drive without one? Hell, you go to any provincial areas and you’ll find the licensed drivers are the minority. As is the registered vehicles.

          1. Profile gravatar of


            Been here for muuuch longer than 3 months. Still using my driver license from my country. Been in the checkpoint more than 30 times. Only twice I got some questions. Once I got asked about how long I stayed here and if I know how long is my driver license valid here. My answer was I just came for 1 month ago since Im coming and leaving all the time (whch is not true). No problems with that. 2nd time the police asked if this is a international driver license. My answer was yes. I guess in Manila it would have been diffrent.

      2. Profile gravatar of


        “Anyone ever been to Thailand and rent scooters or motorcycles there? It is so fun and easy.”

        Been there a lot of times, but was always too scared to drive on the wrong side of the road… 😀
        About the rentals here, well I didnt look after it in Manila when living there but all the other places had a lot of rentals. Prices was more or less high. The cheapest I coud find here was 220 for 24h and most expensive 600.

        1. Profile gravatar of Johnny

          In Thailand, the rentals were everywhere and you see hundreds of tourists riding them. In the Philippines, I hardly see tourists riding them. After reading the article, I just wondered what the rules were. My friend has a few rooms for rental and we were wondering how it worked with renting scooters as well. The electric bikes don’t require a license, but I’m not sure how durable they are after 6 months.

          1. Profile gravatar of


            Well knew 1 Canadian before that was renting out, however the price he gav which was 350 and only for 12h was not the best. About the driver license I guess it deppend on the area and how educated police is about the topic. Also if the place is visited often by the tourists.

          2. Profile gravatar of Johnny

            Yeah, I told my friend we should look up the rule and have it on the scooter in both tagalog and English just in case.
            It’s just sad cause in a country with so many fucking rules, it seems not a single person actually knows what the rules are,,, especially not the police.

          3. Profile gravatar of


            Got stopped only once by a officer that actually knew how does it work with foreign driver license. He asked me if I know how long I can drive in the country with my license. I answered stupid, 1 year. He said no, its 90 days, so please convert it to filipino license. And than let me go. Think it was one of those cases where I met one of the good one.

  4. Profile gravatar of Joe Smith
    Joe Smith

    The wife has an old picture of herself and her friend sitting on an old 1940s WWII olive drab Harley with a sidecar. Mint condition, god damn I want that bike…….

  5. Profile gravatar of Hey Joe
    Hey Joe

    Milwaukee???? did I hear Milwaukee!!! Ah,my old home state. I can just taste the brats and fried cheese curds washed down with a cold one as my arteries harden up 🙂

    Love the story Mike, I feel the same. I have to smile when pinoys talk about “big bikes” pointing at a 150cc thinking to myself, your 150, would not even make a starter motor to a real big bike. Or as my father always said, “You would not make a pimple on a real mans ass”

    My wife laughs at me every time my head snaps back when I see a old Benz around these parts. Sad to say i had to leave my babies behind and I say “some-day…some-day. I waited near 20yrs, last time, not so sure if I have 20 more left.