More Manila Experiences

There I was in Manila for the 3rd time. I needed a new remote for the tv cause the original one was broken while I was home in Europe. I went to SM appliances in Glorietta mall and bought a philips universal remote. Had choice of many brands but since this was the Philippines I was trying to be humours with myself and pretending to be one of the natives, atleast in my mind, since philips sounds very local then that was my choice. I got the usual “Yes sirr” and “Thank you sirr”. They failed to tell me “Dont come back and complain sirrrr”.

Anyways, being back in the condo I put in brand new batteries and expected to have a working remote, atleast for the 6 months I was staying. But NEVER EVER expect anything here, it will only upset YOU and amuse the locals. Expect things to be working or be nice and you will end up being depressed or killing someone. Now as most readers here already guessed based on their personal experiences the remote failed to work. The next day I went back to the mall and told them that the remote wasnt working and I didnt want refund I wanted a working one instead. I said I didnt want refund because I know I wont EVER get a refund in this country.

“Sir let me try”, said the stupid woman in the store and right enough she couldnt get it to work, I had left the batteries in and there was nothing wrong with them, I tested them on a flashlight the day before when the remote didnt work. What she does is going to her desk, asking a young man to get something, then he comes back after 15 minutes with 2 batteries and she puts them in the remote and now it seems to be working. She then tells me “Sirr, this remote does not work with new batteries” !!!!
I am a certified technician, I work with very expensive equipment back home and have years of experience when it comes to fixing gadgets, installing power to homes, etc. Now here is this dumbass telling me that THIS PARTICULAR REMOTE ONLY WANTS USED BATTERIES !!! I turned around and walked out of the store while hearing the “SIIRRR” “SIiirrr” “Siirr” and decided not to buy the appliances I was planning on getting in that store.

Had I bought a dvd player or whatever and it would stop working then I could expect when I returned with it to get an explanation like. “Sir it only works when the moon is new and you light 5 pink candles in a circle around the device.” Basically telling me I am the stupid one because I didnt even know that !
Expect nothing here, no warranty, no refund, no costumer service, no useful instructions or advice of any kind except the absurd kind. Its amusing me the laziness these people have when it comes to warranties.
Its the factory that produces the item that gives the warranty, not the stores. But since its the stores that have to replace the item and send the broken item back to the factory then thats the link for the consumers and in the Philippines that link is not existant due to laziness. If they had to send the tv or whatever all the way back to Korea or Japan and then wait for another to arrive…OMFG, and all the notarization needed in the process and the many xerox needed, its just way to much when its so much easier to tell the costumer “Why you come here to us with our problems, you should have send a letter to Santa.”

Well I used the old remote after that, just kept pressing those buttons and hammering it into the floor from time to time. A few weeks I got this thing coming out of my dick. Yeah this is a private thing and some might say I shouldnt talk about it, but I am going to anyways, I didnt do anything wrong. Just had a gf from the philippines and was loyal and true to her. She is an ex now of course. Anyways I was worried what was this thing and I never had sexual diseases before in my life, and thats said having had many relationships with european women. So its not because I was virgin I never had that, I wanted it checked so we went to this health clinic in the mall.

I get inside and sit with my ex gf. Then after 5 min a nurse comes and want to take my blood preassure with this ancient device. Why she was going to do that I still dont know to this date, I had not even mentioned what the problem was, nor had we even approached the counter. I guess it was just for show, and if not then it was like one of those before and after photoes. In my case blood preassure before talking to doctor frankenstein and then blood preassure meassured after the chit chat.

Well We get inside and this old woman is sitting with face like a ghost and 3 cm layer of makeup. behind her lots of credentials and diplomas hanging on the wall. Like a hall of fame or something and she says in broken English “whats the problem ?” There was no sir in her sentence, I guess I didnt qualify to get a sir since I was asked at the counter what my profession was and told them I was technician. Back then I didnt know about the titles and all that crap. Had I known then I should have said I am senior scientist at the royal department of national science in Denmark, and a professor in comunication management and soon to be elected prime minister.

She asks me to see the sausage and I am already thinking “forget this, I wouldnt have her treat my dog!” but I do it anyways and she looks at the sausage and asks me “what is that” while pointing to a bloodvein on my sausage….This is the doctor with so many diplomas and supposedly one of the best educated people in this fucked up country. And she asks her patient something like that !!!
She needed a bloodsample from me and I was shown into another room where this guy was standing and told me to sit down, then he opens a drawer and takes out a needle and I see his hands. Dirty and dirt under his nails, like that guy is going to take a blood sample from me. I got up and said forget about this, paid about 1700 peso for absolutely nothing. Didnt even get the “after” blood preassure meassurement !

Went online and had the and diagnosed myself as having gonorrea and went to pharmacy and bribed the assistant there to give me the antibiotics that the netdoctor website said I would need. Its unbelievable that a simple man like me in this country is better qualified than these so called doctors. That they think I got an IQ lower than their average 86. I cant blame them 100% cause I have to be out of my mind to some point coming back here again and again. Its suddenly NOT for the country, NOT for the natives, it was because love made me blind and because I felt commitment and responsibility. Those days are over now and I am sure to this day that my ex gf was cheating on me while I was away.

Being a braindead zombie she never admitted anything, and I learned much from all that. Never ask WHY here, never ask any question if you can avoid to. You can barely get a simple yes or no here. These natives are NOT people like most people in the world. There is a reason why they didnt build large ships and explored the world in the old times. It would have required innovation, work and courage. Something they dont own 1% of. Oh I could go on and on, asking how many things the pinoys invented that serves mankind as a whole today. And dont say karoke ! It doesnt serve anyone, and its not really an invention.
Dumb Fuckers, they are only good for one thing the pinoys, and thats making another pinoy !

Published in Filipino Customer Service


  1. Profile gravatar of Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III
    Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III

    “You can barely get a simple yes or no here.”

    One of my biggest frustrations! When I find myself in situations where a question requires an actual answer from a Pinoy, I have a process for getting there;

    1. I break the question down into as many micro-questions as possible.
    2. I warn the Pinoy I am speaking to that I am going to ask a question, and that the question requires a yes or no answer – nothing else is acceptable.
    3. I then ask the question.
    4. When the Pinoy fails to provide the required yes or no answer (which they ALWAYS fail to do), I wait for them to finish answering, repeat my warning (as per step 2), then repeat the question once again (as per step 3). I keep doing this until I get the required yes or no answer.
    5. Rinse and repeat. I repeat the warning (as per step 2) and ask another micro-question (as per step 3), and the same process continues until I get the yes or no answer that I require.

    Eventually, I will have enough information from asking micro-questions to build my own picture of what the correct answer to the actual question really is. A truly frustrating and tiring process, I’ll admit – but 100% necessary if you want any sort of a reasonable answer to a question that you might have, when asking a Pinoy.

    1. Profile gravatar of FAFI

      Oh my fuckin god, I get the same problem too! In most cases when they finally do answer one of my closed-end questions, it’s not answered with a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ or a ‘green’ or ‘blue’ (if I gave them a color option for an example), I would get “It’s OK!!!” Saying It’s OK doesn’t represent an answer at all, so how the fuck should I know if they mean yes, or they mean no?! But in reference to what you were saying CyberGod, I know what you mean because even I don’t get a direct response to a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question. I feel that they do that sometimes to avoid looking inferior or suspicious, as if they are being held to answer for a crime. So instead of saying ‘yes’ or ‘no,’ they say something STUPID in response to your question to make you feel FUCKIN STUPID. Here is an example from one of my true scenarios:

      I was shopping at Walter Mart for the first time, then I went to the checkout line with my goodies. I politely asked the cashier in a calm and medium tone voice:

      Me- “I have a question, do you accept SM Advantage cards here?”
      (I guess we can agree that this is a reasonable ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question right?)

      Ok, well here comes this bitch in her loud, ill-mannered voice replying to me with:

      Walter Mart bitch: “Sirrr!, We don’t take SM Advantage cards here po! You have to use our card only!” (So again, why couldn’t she just answer that with ‘no?’)

      Ok, at least I got the answer this time, but damn! It made me look like and idiot since it gave everyone behind me the impression that I was actually trying to use my SM advantage card at Walter Mart, when I was only trying to inquire if I can use it here. Giving me a simple ‘no’ would’ve been easy then I would’ve just resumed my purchase. A Filipino idiot making me look like an idiot is fuckin sad, plus she didn’t have to scream it out. I had other similar examples of this at school when simply requesting to translate his Tagalog instructions to me in English. This was requested by me one-on-one while the students were busy. Plus it was Math class, and I am normally considered as a genius in that subject, my classmates know it too. Being that never asked for help before in any Math subject, after quietly asking the teacher to explain the one part I didn’t understand in English, he loudly shouts it out to me, and goes on answering questions I never asked of him. He just wanted to feel knowledgeable knowing that he can TEACH me something, so he did PUBLICLY. Yeah, it even disturbed the classroom. I didn’t feel so smart in Math after that moment anymore, plus it was only Trigonometry. He pretty much explained half an entire lesson to me one-on-one loudly in front of the class, What the Fuck! Quiet question = Loud and abrupt answer….. Oh my fuckin God I can’t stand Filipinos!

      Well these are just examples of times when I actually do get the answer I asked for, but getting more than what I was bargained for. One of these days before I leave, I’m gonna share this blog with the idiot teachers and classmates and tell them my screen name, so they can see all the million reasons why I fuckin hate them so much! I can’t do it now obviously, but this will be an eye opener for them, and they will finally know how I really feel about them. (assuming that their level of English is comprehensible to understand is it all)

      1. Profile gravatar of Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III
        Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III

        I’ve come across a few of those arrogant Pinoy “Doctors” before. I’m always amazed too at the idiots who want to be called “Attorney”, “Engineer”, etc. They all love to have a title in the Philippines. Such a pity that expert knowledge, core competency and actual skill so rarely combine with that title.

        1. Profile gravatar of Pearl Of My Ass
          Pearl Of My Ass

          I asked my landlord representative to stop calling ‘engineer’ the hand-man that came to unclog my shitters: “he is not an engineer – he is an handy-man and a stupid one that is – as he manage to almost electrocute himself while plugging a wash machine….
          Engineer my ass, he looks more like a barefoot bum from the street… pfff…

          1. Profile gravatar of jimmy smith
            jimmy smith Post author

            I cal them presidents, scientists and etc now. It seems to make them very happy. when I get asked if I like the Phils I answer “yeah, the philippines is the best place on Earth and the people here are the smartest people I ever met in my life” It brings a smile and an “okay man, you are very nice!” answer out of them. When asked what Denmark is like I say “not nice like here, not clean and peaceful like this place” Even with them knowing they got an ongoing war in western Mindanao and loads of garbage lying around everywhere they dont think “man he is pulling our legs and joking us” no, no, no. Acting like a retard means you gotta STAY IN CHARACTER, even when you are sleeping !!! Next Oscar award if there is an award for best acting people in the world then the Oscar goes to…..The Philippine people for best performance being a total retard ! and the president Aquino the 3rd will approach and say something like “salamat for this award, I want to thank my people for never seeking knowledge, never demanding anything, I also want to thank the LORD for looking out for the Philippines and ofcourse also my family, without them I couldnt continue to rob my people. I also want to thank the Cayman island bank, the Swiss banks and any other banks which allows a huble man like me to steal millions and secure my loot for me.” I can imagine many pinoys sitting at home in the Philes looking at the TV and feeling proud….”thats our president, we won the award !” “we should extend his term with another 10 years !” “he is doing so much for our country, otherwise we wouldnt have won !” Most pinoys thinks that the beauty contests are also an IQ contest caue there is “question and answer” as part of the competetion. I find it to be quite arranged because these women actually anser the question ! No blank stare or open mouth with a look that makes you think they just swallowed a bee. no, no, no. They ACTUALLY answer the damn question !!!

          2. Profile gravatar of FAFI

            Fuckin hilarious comment! Keep it up buddy! This had me crackin for a bit, and it takes a lot to make me laugh! It’s true, a Filipino’s stupidity and ignorance to their self-worth is in fact: somewhat entertaining. I wish Spain came back to this forsaken land to continue their 333 years of domination in this shitty country. Who knows, Philippines might turn into a modern day country with them taking over.

          3. Profile gravatar of jimmy smith
            jimmy smith Post author

            I doubt that FAFI, the Spanish wanted to sell the PI to the Americans for 2 dollars pr pinoy. At that time there was about 50 mill pinoys living in the country. The Americans only wanted to pay 1 dollar and got their wish. Later the Americans found out they got the raw deal ! Be careful what you wish for. LOL

  2. Profile gravatar of CantFixStupid

    That whole “doctor” situation is hilarious. They are not “doctors” by the way, in 1st world countries they would be considered a nurses assistant or in extreme cases nurses. My sister is a nurse and informs me much better than any doctor my gf or i have seen in Pinas. My sis actually laughs when i tell her stories of my “doctors” visits in Makati and surrounding areas. Oh and appointments, that is an emerging concept in that country. Everytime i go to Makati Med i go to the information counter and ask if our NURSE (never call them doctors anymore) is in her office today. They tell me “yes Doctor soandso is in a conference, please wait sirrrr”, than i usually take off pissed off up to her office saying “thanks i’ll head to NURSE soandso’s office and continue to wait…”, even though we had a freaking appointment 1 hour ago and were still freaking waiting… Filtime should be tradmarked, fuck me!

    1. Profile gravatar of FAFI

      Filipinos have no time urgency at all, fuck them! My classmates and I had an inspection with our so-called “Doctor” professor that was suppose to be at 4pm this past friday, well this bitch shows up at 5:20pm. Her only concern is school, she has nothing else to pre-occupy her time with. On top of that, she lives less than 3 minutes away from the school WALKING DISTANCE! So how was she late again? You know what I could’ve done in a hour and 20 minutes?! I could’ve accomplished at least one of my daily task in that time frame, but again this is fuckin Philippines, good luck trying to complete all of your daily tasks in one day, Filipinos around you will fuck that up for you in heartbeat. PINOY FUCKIN PRIDE my ASS!

      1. Profile gravatar of jimmy smith
        jimmy smith Post author

        I was invited to a birthday here a few days ago and was told “we gotta be there at 6” I was tired and having no desires to go there, so I stalled and the family and my gf here kept saying “lets go!” They couldnt go without me caue it was a foreigner who invited me there, not them. Muahhahahaha. Anyways I get dressed and its almost 6, but only 5 min walk to the house of the birthday, so we walk and on the way I say joking “we are too early !” and I get the reply “no we are not, its 6” and I reply back “but this is the PI, we shouldnt be there untill 7 at the earliest” and then to my shock and surprise the reply was “no, not when its a birthday, cause that means there is free food and drinks !” I gotta admit thats smart, way above retard level. If AKO can get something then AKO have to be there ON TIME because otherwise the other pinoys might have eaten EVERYTHING and nothing for AKO. And presents ? I brought a bottle of wine and some cigs, cant buy a decent present here in the province for a man from the west. What about all the others who came, ate and left right after, The same people who took from the roasted pig with their bare unwashed hands, who were eating and talking while food came out of their mouthes and spilled on the floor, where were their presents ??? You got 1 guess and I will give you a clue, their presents didnt smell good and came out of the lower asshole, not the top one….

  3. Profile gravatar of jimmy smith
    jimmy smith Post author

    I learned something new today. I learned that the pinoys and pinays here in the village talks behind my back. They smile to me most of the time but behind the smile lies something else. They ask my fiance here “why arent you married yet?” “Why isnt he taking you to his country?” “Why does he look upset so much, not like the first times he was here. Always smiling, playing with the kids?” “why doesnt he GO WITH THE FLOW?” I suspected this but didnt wanna believe it. I also know now that when they ask me things its NOT to have conversation with me, but to show their neighbourgs or who is watching that they know English.
    This morning I am walking and a guy drives up to me on his bike and asks “whats your name? and I reply and ask him “whats your name kuya” and the says his name, then he asks me where I am from and I reply “Denmark” and he asks what state in the US is that. I tell him its in Europe and he replies “aaahhh” then he asks me again “whats your name?” and I answer politely. It was not 2 minutes before he asked that already. I still remember his name, I am sure he didnt bother to remember mine. Thats not important for me, but then why ask my name if he dont give a damn anyway. I dont think I will ever understand or be able to help these people. Soren Kirkegaard a danish philospher wrote about helping others something like this. “you have to be able to understand whpo you are helping and get down to the level of the one you intend to help, otherwise it is just you dictating and pretending to know more and that wont help” Well thats my own shortened version, but that being the case then I wont EVER be able to help anyone with the mindset of the pinoys. Mission Impossible !!!

    1. Profile gravatar of

      Having been here a few years I learned a few things the hard way that helped me understand the mindset of Filipinos – most of which has already been covered here but nonetheless…

      First – Filipinos can only handle things in small doses. Keep that in mind for ALL walks of life here and you will save yourself mind numbing frustration. Perfect example of this is when you order food at a restaurant. My wife and I have two children so when ordering food logically there will be four separate orders. The Pinoy mind unfortunately cannot handle that much information at once no matter how hard he/she tries. Typically the waiter will leave to process the order after my wife and I order our food. This is NORMAL…he will be back with water in a few minutes – we order the kids food then once he has the necessary time to decompress. There are exceptions to this as with anything else, but better to not expect it and you will make out better in the long run.

      Second – If a Filipino doesn’t care about what you are talking about or asking he/she will reply to what you just said with a dumbass question that rivals pretty much any stupid thing you have ever heard in your life.
      Example: My wife and I found a LEGIT New York Pizzeria in the Metro Manila area. AWESOME right? We are sitting in the restaurant eating with the kids and I ask “Hey, do you think they deliver?” – since we live so close. She replies to me, “Deliver what?”. Under normal circumstances I would taken my fork and repeatedly stabbed myself in the neck with it because WTF else would I have meant when asking if the restaurant delivered right? I love my wife but good Lord. Again – don’t get upset because that type of reply just means her brain is overloaded and can’t process such a sophisticated question. MY BAD AGAIN…but hey – live and learn.

      Third – If a Filipino doesn’t know the answer to your question one of two things will inevitably happen. ONE – you will get this incredibly ugly contorted face as if he/she has just encountered the worst smelling object on Earth, then he/she will shake both hands as if they are wet. Just roll with it and say “THANKS ANYWAY!”. They have blown their mental load at this point and any question you ask them after this will typically get the same response – irregardless if they know the answer or not. TWO – he/she will bullshit you and give you an arbitrary answer that maybe-sorta-kinda-could-possibly fit what he/she thinks you are looking for. Accuracy and correctness are NOT the objective here.
      Example: My license plate number is coding on Thursdays in Manila. But knowing the law, I can drive between the hours of 10am and 3pm on Thursday. I cut down EDSA on my way to MOA to pick up some things during lunch and of course I get pulled over. The traffic enforcer informs me that I am coding (which I knew) and that I need to surrender my license. I then politely inform him that I am within the allowable window to drive so therefore I am not in violation. He then says what his Pinoy brain will only allow him to say – “Sir, you are coding today”. I then repeat my response again since I have no problem playing this game. He blank-stares at me and I blank-stare back, then ask “Are we good here?”. He then says, “Sir – on Thursday’s you are coding.” and waves me off. No harm no foul! That was a SUCCESSFUL interaction and right in line with what I expected. Sanity is intact

      Understanding the Pinoy mind is the key to harmony and an easy life here. This blog is what will help us all get there

      1. Profile gravatar of FAFI

        @JustJabari Dude this is an awesome story, you should’ve put this up as a blog….hahahaha! This is very informative. I am going to practice your first one more often, because I am tired of them screwing up my order. Or rarely the order is right but they fucked up the order on my receipt to the point that I am paying for more than what I ordered. This will help alleviate both of these types of problems. Thanks! I’m already use to the inevitable number 2, there are no remedies for me to escape an idiotic scenario like that. As for number 3, I do things like that already. Many examples would be when I get into a taxi. I know how corrupted the taxi services here are, and how they would drive anywhere just to get some time of deliverance of taxi fare, even if they take you to the wrong destination mistakenly (mistakenly, but already said they knew where to go). To avoid this, I normally walk away at the first sign of confusion the taxi drive gives me. I mean, if he even looks a little utterly confused, or takes longer than a second to nod his head or give me some type of recognition that he knows the place I’m talking about, I simply say,”you don’t know” and I walk away. Been fed up with being screwed over by their taxi service, so I expect a quick and confident ‘yes’ response before getting into any taxi. This has been working for me lately.

    2. Profile gravatar of FAFI

      Helping them is the same thing as hurting them, so you are already doing the right thing. Plus there is nothing worst than getting down to their level. Normally I would say you would drown to death if you were at their level, but as bad as the situation in Philippines has gotten, you are most likely to burn to death. (That was a ‘sea level’ and ‘earth’s core’ level reference). Pinoy talking about me isn’t a problem, but as soon as they have balls to do anything physical is where we have a problem. Other than that, they can talk all they want. I expect them to talk, and it’s OK because I am talking about them right now. ISN’T THAT RIGHT EVERYONE!!!??? Well that explains why I was invited by these 3rd year students to attend their birthday party in this squatter settlement this past Friday. The focus was primarily on me, and everyone was trying super hard to speak pure English. Ok, I have nothing bad to say at this point since they are at least trying. But the key point is that it was feeling like it was my B-day and not the other guy’s. I felt like a freakin mascot, but it brought both positive and negative attention, so I dealt with it.

    3. Profile gravatar of Pearl Of My Ass
      Pearl Of My Ass

      Jimmy…. why don’t you GO WITH THE FLOW ?!?!?! why not ? Why don’t you sit your ass on the boarder of the road and play with your naked exposed belly, like all of them ?
      If you could as well remove some teeth to sharpen that smile, that would be an honorable gesture to FIT IN ! 😉

      1. Profile gravatar of jimmy smith
        jimmy smith Post author

        Yeah I see the wrongs in my ways of doing things here. I shouldnt wear nice clean clothes. I am just wasting good deodorant cause nobody can smell anything but shit and pee from the open sewers here anyways. I gotta start eating more and work out less so I dont have a six pack to show, it attracts too much attention, especially from all the handsome baklas who have 1st class bodies from woking out every single day in the gyms. I understand now I gotta make some holes in my clothes and throw them in the mud before I wear them ad actually I have been doing that recently. I got this “No I am NOT Joe” dress I will wear sometimes. Cut some holes and made some corrosion spots that CLEARLY shows I am not rich and apart from being white I am dressing like the locals. Next step is to ask people for peso, cigs, drinks and anything else I can possibly leech out of them. Go with the flow, yeah. Man was I dumb not doing that a long time ago. Dress like a bum, yell instead of talking and answer ANY question with the words “its OKAY !”. I will need to renew my visa one last time while I am here and I will need to go with the flow too. So I will be paying my 3040 peso plus another 1000 for overstaying in 20 bills. I am NOT joking, and I might even have the overstay payment done in 1 peso coins. I expect people visiting my country to act accordingly and be nice. Its the most Catholic country on the planet here. Jesus said I think “do to others what you want them to do to you.” And I should be doing exactly what they are doing to me. Lie, beg, steal, cheat, ask dumb questions and not answer ANY questions I get asked. Yeah I will go with the flow the last 10 days I am here alright. Cause when I go with THEIR flow, being generous. having a smile and always polite and nice then I am the greatest guy ever visiting, the past days it changed to me being the most strict and mean asshole ever born on this planet. How quickly things can change when the drinks and cig are no longer free for these people. I am mr. handsome and blah blah blah when my wallet is open and I smile. When its closed and I look tired and upset then I should just piss back home. I am the one who is wrong yeah, I forgot the words of Jesus Christ “dont wait till tomorrow doing what you can do today” and all the other wise words he had to say which I see the pinoys living by every single day. If only the world would do as they do then there would be no fighting and wars, nobody would be feeling up for fighting. There wouldnt be much quality or class in the world either, but hey, who would care, as long as we all got a place to sit, and a pole or wall to pee on and someone to beg for food, booze and cigs. When I get kids I will quit working too as soon as they start working, just like the pinoys do. I should be standing in the future in CPH airport and ask ALL passengers arriving “where the hell is MY present !” and “you got money since you come here, now give AKO 100 kr. its for milk for my babies” and when I am not working sit outside the local supermarket and drink while I ask every man, woman and kid “where are you going” “where are you from” “how much is your salary” “when are you going home” “you like it here in Denmark ?” yeah I WILL go with the fow alright…..Down the steam, down the waterfall, into the ocean and I will be in over my head, just like each and every fucking one of them here !!!!

        1. Profile gravatar of FAFI

          Wow you are dead on about the pinoy ways, but there is no way I can possibly degrade myself to be or think like them. Well, I am vindictive enough to treat each and every Filipino I meet in America like pure dog shit, since that’s what they are doing to me here. I’m still getting tired of these annoying Filipinos asking me where I am going. One time last week when I was asked that, I replied “I’m going to your mom’s house.” That should shut them up for a while. I wonder if they find it annoying if that question was asked to them every hour of the day? Then again, Filipinos are not even people, they don’t think like normal humans do since they lack the logical concept on the universal perception of life. What everyone feels, it’s the complete opposite for Filipinos. It often frustrates me just to see a Filipino breathe because I am thinking about what a waste of life they have become, since their only purpose in life is just to burden the rest of the world with their constant pleas for help, which in turn would just end up abusing that help which will cause an even more urgent need for help, and so on. They hurt themselves because they haven’t learned to help themselves, if we keep throwing money at them, then they will never be resourceful enough to help themselves. We have to teach these inferior idiots that money isn’t always handed to them.
          Only give them money if they are an inch away from death, that way it looks like you are saving a life. But I see it as depriving their chance to go to heaven early (not that I believe in that fairy tail bullshit), keep them on earth to suffer longer. Well anyway, i gotta get some sleep. Goodnight smart people, and Magandang Gabi to you dumb fuckin jeepney-brained, 86 IQ minded, plastic bag-drinking, PBO watching, shitty videoke-singing, American product-imitating, piece of shit Filipinos who uses their street as a urinal and a trash site. There is noting more distasteful than a Filthypino! Yuck!

          1. Profile gravatar of jimmy smith
            jimmy smith Post author

            cant think like them, but sometimes when I had enough I like acting like them. I am sure they think “how rude he is” but they never see themselves reflected in the act. Never. I wouldnt act like that back home, but I will be treating the pinoys in my country differently from now on because I know now that they are basically there to leech off my wellfare state and have little or no intentions to contribute to it.

  4. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    when i first came here, mall of asia had a brass marching band going around making the most horrible noise i have ever heard
    as if a brass band was suddenly going to make them pull the money out of their pockets and suddenly spent it.
    Thia was on top of all the friggin speakers belching out horrible crappy music.
    when you buy a meal,, do you really want to get your ears blasted with crap music???/
    I just want to be able to talk in a normal voice and enjoy my food,, same as in shopping ,, Hypermart has the most irritating noisy music.

    1. Profile gravatar of

      Al, I remember that brass marching band. I don’t think they have that anymore (Thank God!). That was freaking annoying. I remember screaming at my father while we were having a coffee.

  5. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    i went to a sub office of the immigration department the other day.
    There was aircon and the service was too bad.. not too many pwople either

  6. Profile gravatar of jimmy smith
    jimmy smith Post author

    So you decided to travel to the Philippines.

    Maybe you been talking with this “single” woman, who is still “virgin” and waiting for the right Mr. Wallet.
    Maybe you are looking for a last love in your life and you heard that its only 80% of the women online who
    are scammers, liars and after your atm card and the pin code. But the one you been talking to belongs to the
    20% who arent like that at all.

    Maybe you heard the beaches there are magnificent, the country very clean and unspoiled. Pure tranquility…
    Maybe you heard of their hospitality there, that they love foreigners and they make the foreigner feel as if
    he or she was in heaven.

    Whatever the reason, then you decided to make the move. At first you will go and spend a few weeks to see if
    its all too good to be true or if its even better than the travel agencies and the many positive websites say.
    So what you do is you book your flight, you pack your suitcase and you travel to this promised land of peace,
    love, care and hope. Your spend the weeks in a resort and there is nothing now that will keep you from selling
    all you got and moving to the land where the people smile and are very helpful to each other and the foreigners
    who visits their country.

    This post is for those who visits the first time, not as much for the ones who are home waiting for their house
    and car getting sold. While they are loading a container with the things they want to bring to their new country.

    You are in the seat and you hear the captain on the speaker “we are about to land in Manila, the smell is bad,
    beggars are lined up outside the airport, taxi drivers are ready to rob, rape or over price you. We will be making
    our landing as soon as the runway is cleared of garbage. Thank you !”
    Now you are starting to feel excited, surely the captain was joking, what a funny guy ! This is good he joked like
    that because that means its NOTHING like he said…

    Your plane lands and the Pinoy passengers who are on the plane going home for different reasons start to get their
    carry on luggage while crawling over each other to be the first to exit the plane. Maybe there is a first prize or
    some discount for being the first to get off you might be thinking. You being raised with manners might think that
    their connecting flight is only 5 min away so they have to hurry, or maybe they promised someone waiting for them
    to be on time and them being so diciplined and punctual they dont wanna make their word not trustworthy.

    You get off the plane and go to the luggage claim area and wait for your luggage. Then you see this Pinoy offering
    to help you get your luggage “how nice, airport is a bit old, but the service is great” you might think. When your
    suitcase finnaly appears then the helpful man needs to push and shove through a crowd of women, kids and also some
    passengers who already got their luggage, but for some reason didnt give space for others to get theirs.
    Ah that wont annoy you at all. You just arrived here and airports are always a little busy and chaotic, its all ok.

    Going through costums declaration an officer asks you to open your suitcase and wants to see what is inside. You did
    buy alot of chocolate for your online woman because she asked for that. When the officer see all that chocolate he
    wants some and smiles friendly at you “can I have” he asks. You dont mind, he is your friend, so no problem.
    You having landed in a new country as many do, forgot to pack your brain, so you dont think corruption at all. no, no.

    You get out to the taxi area and there is your woman waiting behind a fence and guards walking around with military
    assault rifles, loads of men and women screaming “taxi sir, taxi sir” Its not exactly what you expected, but again it
    is an airport. You will be better off when you get to your resort, hotel or where your destination is.
    On the way there you notice many comes up to your taxi when its at a standstill due to traffic, which is most of the
    time and knocking on the window. The people look very clean and probably all just want to shake hands and welcome you
    to their friendly and safe country. The taxi driver dont want you to roll the windows down, what a rude driver you got!

    At the hotel they dont have your reservation, someone made a mistake, but not the people here. They dont make mistakes !
    The friendly staff offers you the suite room for an extra charge, thats fair you think because you just booked regular
    room. They also want a deposit which they will refund when you check out. Not that they are saying you are a careless
    and irresponsible bastard who breaks things. They probably had some like that before so they are just making sure that
    their world class rooms with brand new tvs and silk bed sheets is in a resonable state after YOUR stay.

    In the suite you find an old tube tv, some stained bed sheets and pillows that smell like they were used to mob up cat
    pis. The water in the toilet looks like chocolate milk and there is a price tag on the tooth brush, tooth paste and the
    soap. Someone forgot to bring towels and there is no tissue paper. So you call the reception and they answer politely
    “yes sir, we take care of it” and you wait and wait and fall asleep because you are tired after the long flight.
    The next day still no towels and no soap. You had enough, this must be the oNLY bad hotel in the Philippines so you want
    to check out. The 1000 peso deposit they dont want to refund untill after checking the room. Fine you didnt do anything
    that would have them deduct anything. The hotel employee comes down and says “no soap, no towels and no tissue paper”
    Yeah thats right, they take 500 peso for that from your deposit, you get upset and want to complain. Wait for the manager
    to come the receptionist says, and you wait 1 hour, then you go ask “when is he coming” and she replies “after lunch”
    what she doesnt tell you is what lunch, xmas lunch or easter lunch.

    You decide to let go of the 500 peso, its only monopoly money to you anyways, you are practically a millionaire here in
    this country. What you dont know is that the million will very soon be many mills. Outside you go wait for a taxi and
    some nice dressed clean and well behaving kids comes up to you offering to give you money, but you refuse to take their
    kind offer. You get a taxi and the driver want to be your friend, thats why he asks so many questions. Some are very
    personal, but you thinking “thats because he wanna know me” and when someone wants to be your friend its normal to ask
    “how much do you make in a month” “do you want me to take you to see some girls, I got a daughter I can introduce you to”
    and questions like that. Perfectly normal.

    At the resort you spend the days and the money seem to go far, far away from you, and they dont seem to ever wanna come
    back to your pockets. Not even in the form of good service or quality food. You bought some “gold” jewelry and a “rolex”
    watch along with some “real” brand clothes and brand perfume at a fair price. You are going home soon and you are feeling
    that its a sad time, you wish you could stay longer. Its been so peaceful, quiet, entertaining, everyone you meet has been
    very polite and it seems they all know your name. Who would have thought they would all know your name is Joe. Amazing !

    At the airport they wont let you in untill 3 hours before your flight. “We got laws here, we have to obey the laws !” and
    that you cannot disagree with, because its just like in your country too. Of course we need to obey the laws, otherwise
    why bother to spend paper writing them down when we could use that paper to wipe our asses instead. After sometime standing
    with the diciplined people outside the airport entrance you are allowed to go inside. You get your boarding pass and head to
    the immigration to get your passport stamped and there is this friendly officer there asking for departure fee. You never
    heard about departure fee before, but the laws we have to obey so you pay. Then you can go and board your plane.

    Maybe you sit and cry a little, feeling sad you have to leave this friendly, loving, understanding, diciplined and kind
    people who have done everything from the minute you landed up to now to make your experience in the Philippines a FUN and
    HAPPY one. When your plane takes off from the runway you are feeling you are leaving your soul behind, and in some ways
    that is true. But look on the bright side, you are coming home to your BRAIN !

    Keep coming back, your soul is still there. But next time remember to bring your brain !

        1. Profile gravatar of CantFixStupid

          The only reason to go back to Pinas is to visit my fiancee’s family, otherwise I already told her, if she wants to visit more than once every 3 or 4 years, she can go without me. I’d much rather spend my time at a tropical paradise closer to Florida.. like the Caribbean. Hope the Philippines improves, not that I care anymore.

          The occasional beach visit and hanging out with girls is the only reason a man should ever go to Pinas.

          1. Profile gravatar of jimmy smith
            jimmy smith Post author

            So true cantfixstupid. I will be going to Caribbean and south America in my future travels. My point with the story is. Go fuck the Philippines or they will end up fucking you. I dont care anymore about them either, been one big dissapointment. Not about the money or stuff I bought thats lost. But the time spend here I could have managed alot better elsewhere. Like Filofail says, its water under the bridge now. Time to get smarter and move on. Not going to look back, and wont make an estimated calculation of what I lost, will be too depressing !
            And honestly I am starting to see these people like neanderthals, I am seeing the same characteristics in their behavior and their looks. I dont find them attractive at all anymore. Cant marry stupid or have stupid partner, the most important for me is an intelligent partner and that rules out any pinays. Just like it rules out any Thais. Had enough of Asia to last this lifetime. Fuck them or they WILL fuck you, and wont even make you feel good !!!

          2. Profile gravatar of FAFI

            Thing is, don’t think it is possible to fuck over Philippines even more than they already fuck themselves over, my discipline and character partially contributes towards my restraint of fucking them, but in all reality, even if I could, can’t possibly do any more damage to them than what they already do to themselves. In a beneficial aspect, this country is about as worthless as the dried up chewing gum stuck on the bottom of my left shoe. There is NOTHING I can possibly gain from fucking these idiots over, except for my own vindictive satisfaction. But I already gain enough pleasure by seeing these idiots kill each other on a daily basis. All I gotta do is watch traffic for 3 hours, someone is bound to get into an accident, and I will surely laugh, you can count on that! A Filipino is only good for hurting another Filipino, but at least they are good for something. 🙂

    1. Profile gravatar of Whatsup

      I realy enjoyed reading this, fantastic! and i know its true. But in Phils try to relax and go with the flow. I think our western mind is not used to the way things go in the Phils, you have to addapt. The airport fee, yes i know that by now. The taxi, yes, always watch out, but still if i step in a taxi in Netherlands i already pay 300 pesos without driving 1 mtr.. I always bring a map so the diver thinks i know what hes doing. But must be honest, i learned some of your story and it made me lauch also. Thanks so much!

      1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
        Captain PFB

        Oh we have no choice but to go with the flow. I’m certainly relaxed. I have had 8 years here to learn to relax. But it doesn’t make things here any less stupid and mind-boggling. So we talk about it here. That’s all.

  7. Profile gravatar of FHPS

    The stupidity of filipinos is mind boggling. As for lemonade “no sir”, but whats that “sprite and 7 up sir”. Say no pork, what do you get .. pork. Sorry i said no pork, please change the food, ok sir…. what do i get back .. fried fucking bacon. So you say, what about the educated filipinos? ok. Try a chemist – i ask for the drug by its pharma name. Sorry sir dont have. Do you have Micardis? the drug i first asked for. No sir, out of stops (lol,, if ever i heard that work out of stocks), Do you have Pritor … yes sir. we have. like, what the hell. The pharmacists don’t even know what they are selling.

    I got so many stories of stupidity in the Philippines, especially the visayas are on drugs i am sure. I walked into a place and i said do you have acoustic music here. NO SIR. whats the band.. its the (name) sir. Oh.. really what sort of music do they play … acoustic music sir.

    I went to a cafe one time and i asked for a password. I was given the password and connected to the router. no internet. THREE STAFF there .. i said hey no internet .. im connected to the router .. but nothing. YES sir .. we havent gotten hooked up to PLDT .. i said what the hell you give me the password for the router for then!