Meet Phil, Your Typical Filipino Idiot

Hi there! I’m Phil, and I’m a complete Filipino douche.

Lazy Filipino idiotI am your typical Filipino idiot. You’re likely to see me standing or sitting next to the road, or hell, even ON the road, watching traffic go by. That’s my favorite thing to do. Sometimes I nap by the road. That’s entertainment for me because I’m thick as a fucking brick. I can just stand there watching traffic all fucking day, every day.

I guess if I had a job I would have something worthwhile to do, but I’m sure glad I don’t because I’m lazy as fuck! There are no jobs here anyways because the economy is shit and the government is hopelessly corrupt. Let’s face it, the politicians are just like me – they only care about themselves. Budget for road maintenance? Let’s just slide that money right into the ol’ pocket.  Ahhh… feels good! Fuck everyone else that has to drive over roads that look like they’ve been carpet-bombed. Nice country, eh? I’m so proud to live here. I’m so proud to be Filipino! 

I don’t need a job because my son is an OFW and makes plenty of money abroad. He works his ass off to support my worthless, lazy carcass. Lucky for me that he believed all the lies I told him that it was his duty to support me after finding work. Ha! What an idiot, just like me. He’s slaving away right now overseas while I’m lazing in this hammock. You gotta love it. Sometimes I have to reinforce the conditioning when the payments drop off a bit. Usually I just make some shit up like “Mother needs medicine” or “Sis needs to buy expensive text books.” Works like a charm every time. What a moron!

If it’s sunny I’ll throw a white washcloth over my head. Voila! Instant hat! Sometimes I’ll even expend a few calories of effort and tie a knot at the back so it won’t blow off in the slightest breeze, but only if I’m not feeling too lazy. Ha! Who am I kidding? I’m always too lazy to do that.

That white towel is multipurpose, and shows the true genius of Filo ingenuity. If it gets really hot I like to lay it down my back underneath my shirt and fold the end over the collar. It’s a fashion statement, and has the added benefit of making me look like the true imbecile I am.

To add to that appearance of utter stupidity, I like to hike the front of my shirt up over my bulging pot belly for a little DIY Filipinos are lazy karaoke drunkardsair-conditioning. I walk around all day like that, often with a tooth pick in my mouth and a smirk on my face because I know what a hopeless retard I really am, and I just don’t care. I don’t care if you point out a better way. I’m sticking with my way come hell or high water. I’m Filipino. That’s what I do.

I love to drink Red Horse and sing karaoke at ear-splitting decibels. I can’t sing but I don’t care. It’s loud and we Filipinos are all noise-loving idiots. We love noise because weempty headed filipinos hate to think – it’s hard. Noise solves that problem by making it impossible to think. So crank up the volume and erase thought altogether – works for me. Besides, I gotta have SOMETHING to fill that vacancy between my ears! Noise pollution does it just fine!

What really makes my day is when I get a chance to cough at an Amerikano. Here in the Philippines, every foreigner is an Amerikano because we’re all too stupid and lazy to bother learning geography. Yeah, I really love to deliver an over-the-top, lung-expelling hack to an Amerikano. Sometimes I follow that up with a fake sneeze and a few throat-clearings. It just depends on my mood at the time. Boy! It really makes my day when I do that because I have the maturity of an infant. I’ve heard that in other countries people actually continue to mature as they age. Crazy, huh?  Not here. The Philippines is a country of arrested development, and no adult you see has maturity above the level of a toddler. “I want this!” “I want that!” “ME! ME! ME!”

As you can probably tell by now, I’m a turd of a person with absolutely no moral compass whatsoever. That’s why I hold the standard of Catholicism so high – to compensate for my Godless ways. I’ve never read the Bible and have absolutely Filipinos are very immatureno understanding of what it means to lead a moral life. There’s no need for that as I have all I need in the appearances of those things. I have all the trappings of religion – the icons, the bumper sticker scriptures, etc. Behind those things I can hide my true, morally repugnant nature, even though I suspect that anyone who has a few sparking neurons can figure me out pretty quickly. Lucky for me there’s no Filipinos that match that description!

Hi. My name is Phil and I’m proud to be a Filipino idiot. It was nice to meet you *cough*cough*. GIVE ME MONEY!

Published in Common Discourtesy


  1. Profile gravatar of Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III
    Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III

    “I don’t need a job because my son is an OFW and makes plenty of money abroad…”

    That made me laugh. I remember the first few times that I came to the land of entitlement, seeing all of the crowds gathered outside Manila airport – obviously waiting to greet much missed family members. How fucking delusional can a white man be? I now know it’s just a rowdy bunch of worthless, air-thieving fucking maggots, making damned sure that they’re “first in line” to make palusot about why they urgently need money from the returning OFW – don’t wanna miss out by letting the other worthless, air-thieving maggots in the OFW’s family get their and spin their bullshit story first first! I’ve heard it said many times that “…one person becomes an OFW, and ten Pinoys quit work immediate;y”. I think that figure needs to be reviewed. My guess is that twenty or more Pinoys quit work immediately.

    1. Profile gravatar of huwag-kang-tanga

      THIS!!! So true. This is also true locally. My mother in law owns a fairly functional uniform business, enough to put her in upper class C, and as a result all her idiot kids don’t have jobs, complain when they have to work, live at home, and don’t contribute anything. Guess how old my mother in law is…68, the children range from 24 to 36! SO MUCH RAGE! Such lazy fucking idiots!

  2. Profile gravatar of

    “I don’t need a job because my son is an OFW and makes plenty of money abroad”

    nuff said.
    also, most filipinos thinks that OFW’s are rich, and expects those OFW’s to give some Pasalubong when they get back here in the country.. HAHA! they don’t realize what some of those overseas filipino workers went through!! and sometimes, (I really hate this trait) if one OFW does not gives off pasalubongs, neighbors would immediately say that he/she is selfish! urgh! I am soo tired of this crap!

    your blog is an eyeopener to all native filipinos!

      1. Profile gravatar of montreal_dude

        Nice try xhiina but I don`t beleive you. You have all Filipino characteristic traits. Fifail. I do not think you’re any different than other filipinos. I`d not be surprised to know that you put some garlic over your door to protect yourself from the aswang and other bad spirits. You probably go to church many times in a week and prononce “shionne” instead of “tion”. Don’t try to tell us that you don’t post pictures of yourself showing 2 fingers like the peace and love symbol like every fifails are doing. You are busted!

        1. Profile gravatar of

          hey dude. check your spelling “beleive”, yeaaaaaaah. nice try too.;) and please do check my page if I have those crappy pictures showing peace sign, or whatsoever.
          anyways, who are you to judge my house? haha! I have garlic, yes, in my kitchen! also, I don’t go to church as much as the others do. I believe that one doesn’t really have to go to church to pray and show ones faith.
          Also, I can pronounce “tion” right.
          Don’t judge me, you haven’t met me yet. >;)

          I don’t want to tell you to stop generalizing us, because I’m also a stereotype(guilty) but I wouldn’t appreciate this blog if I don’t agree to all things that’s written in here..

          1. Profile gravatar of montreal_dude

            Congratulashiounne xhiina you are a star like all other filipinos. So how many cars you saw passing on the street today? Take care I got to go to church to pray for foreigners to send me a money so I can buy cellphones. DON’T FORGET TO SMILE AND PRAY!!

          2. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
            Captain PFB

            Geezuz H. KKKreischt!

            Can you write that again, but this time can you write it in ENGLISH PLEASE? THAT MADE NO SENSE AT ALL DUMB FUCK!

  3. Profile gravatar of

    Wow. This is just plain, generalized, stereotypical hate here. Sounds like someone has one finger pointed at everybody with three fingers pointing back at him. The Bible says, “Don’t try to take a splinter out of your fellow man’s eye, when you have a trunk stuck in yours.”

    Why not instead of complaining, do something about it? Preach to the masses, and don’t just hide behind your laptop, taking advantage of being anonymous in the Internet. Filipinos, yes, partly due to their socioeconomic status and bad top-down leadership, are primarily set up for failure, unless they get really lucky and fortune smiles their way. But who says money is everything? They are happy, and you sure see a lot more smiles than in some places. And that is something to be thankful for.

    Stop the hate, and appreciate.

    1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
      Captain PFB

      If they were all brilliant, and we were calling them stupid, THAT would be hate.

      If they are fucking stupid, and we are calling it exactly what it is, that is just simple TRUTH AND FACT.

      People like you love to throw that word HATE around so easily. If you criticize someone, you call it hate. You sound like the typical Filipino idiot full of excuses and denial of reality.

      Please look me in the eye and call the general population of Philippines smart. Please, I dare you!!

    2. Profile gravatar of Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III
      Fr. Bong Bong Jolog Jun III

      The Bible says, “Don’t try to take a splinter out of your fellow man’s eye, when you have a trunk stuck in yours.” The Bible says a lot of things – although I’m not 100% sure that it says that. Maybe you could quote us the chapter and verse…

      That’s really a lot of the problem here. People go basing their entire lives around the delusional ranting’s of a few Arabs, written sometime after the death (but did he really ever die) of Christ. They now listen to the ranting’s of a celibate, delusional, old man in Rome, who lives in a palace and wears a purple dress and a pointy hat. He apparently speaks directly with God.

      Each Sunday, Pinoys run off to Church in order to listen to equally delusional idiots, who feed them bread that apparently turns into the flesh of Christ, and wine that magically turns into his blood. Most places, eating human flesh and drinking human blood would be called cannibalism. As well as encouraging cannibalism, the local priest is probably banging some of the Alter boys.

      And let’s not forget the money – God needs money! Who gives a fuck if your family is too poor to buy rice for the kids. “’tis far more blessed to give than receive” – and receive the Church does.

      What’s the greatest product ever invented? Life in the hereafter. The good thing is that you have to DIE in order to experience the benefits – ensuring absolutely zero customer complaints. You just keep on believing sunshine – I’m sure that your “faith” will be rewarded.

      You just couldn’t make this shit up. Another (tragic) Philippines fail!

      1. Profile gravatar of

        Matthew 7:3 says, “And why behold you the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but consider not the beam that is in your own eye?” It could be several translations, but the same meaning.

        From your name, I am guessing you don’t believe in God. I wish you the best, my friend. All here in life, all existence, then how would you explain it? Could something truly come from nothing. If the first rule of physics, is that “Nothing is created or destroyed”, then what has started this all?

        Although I partially believe in your statements that at times, the Catholic church has made Filipinos blind believers who need to take up their Bible and believe for themselves, rather than lean on others’ understanding. The church does a lot of great things in the Philippines though – but giving hope is probably its best asset. In such a destitute place, hope could be the difference, and this religion is probably a thing that many people cling on to, and are a source of HAPPINESS and PEACE. Isn’t that what we all really want?

        We all speak directly with God, my friend. I believe he lives in each and every one of us, if we only could listen. The Pope is a great ambassador for the church, and such holiness rarely seen, is a great shining beacon for many trying to live the Way. I, for one, see Pope Francis as a great humble man and one to be admired.

        I ask you to not pull the entire Church into the rare percent that commit underage crimes – it is not fair to the Church or its people. Thanks.

        1. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
          Captain PFB

          “All here in life, all existence, then how would you explain it?”

          “Could something truly come from nothing?”

          “If the first rule of physics, is that “Nothing is created or destroyed”, then what has started this all?”


    3. Profile gravatar of NeoGeo

      I agree with your wise words. The Pinoys may be just a bunch of poor fucktards, but they are HAPPY to be poor fucktards. That’s what is important.

      South Korea used to be a bunch of poor fucktards, but they weren’t happy to be poor fucktards. So you know what they did? They improved themselves and their country, and they didn’t take any shit from their own slackers who kept them down.

      What did that do for them? Well, they now have world class companies like Samsung, Hyundai, Kia, and LG. Their standard of living is much higher than that of the Philippines. They also have the highest average internet speeds in the world. (Yeah, I like the internet so I found that stat to be very impressive.)

      S. Korea is truly missing out on the HAPPY fucktard lifestyle of the Philippines. Look at those S. Koreans with their money, solid infrastructure, opportunities, etc. Bunch of assholes.

      That is why the Filipinos are so special in the world. No other people would ever be as happy to be as fucked up retarded as they are. Pinoy Pride!

      1. Profile gravatar of

        Philippines has had the sad misfortune of corruption. You see these in other countries as well – those in Africa, Latin America. A change in government is needed, and a change on how we do things. Easier said than done.

        But with the current presidency, I believe the path has righted a little bit. Checks and balances are being done, corruption is being exposed, and I believe the country is righting its sail to be at least competitive in the Southeast Asian world.

        1. Profile gravatar of NeoGeo

          Sad misfortune my ass. The Filipinos voted those people into office. The Pinoys could have sent a clear message very early on that corrupt people have no chance in hell of getting elected. Instead, the Pinoys kept voting the same type of assholes back in.

          When you keep smashing your hand with a hammer, you can’t say that you have the sad misfortune of having a broken hand. It’s not sad misfortune, it’s a result of stupidity.

          The Filipinos will NEVER ascend as long as excuses continue to be made. The Philippines is a shit hole because the Filipinos made it that way. When the Filipinos finally accept that then they can change. It’s called owning up to your failures.

          This is the simple plan.
          1. Own your failures.
          2. Learn from your failures.
          3. Plan for victory.

          But the Pinoys will never get past step one… at least not in this lifetime.

          1. Profile gravatar of

            I agree with your words, but I think it’ll be different this time.

            The sad thing is they’re voting the same people in, not because they believe their platforms, but because of they get paid to do so, and it helps them survive day-to-day life. Poverty creates a cycle of problems, and you can see that corruption exists in the most impoverished areas.

            I do believe the current administration is doing great in righting the ship, but I do tend to wonder what’s next.

          2. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
            Captain PFB

            slasheyedpeas is just another typical Filipino idiot in denial and tries to sound intelligent. The thing is, you know you’re not hallucinating any of the daily stupidity, filogic, ignorance, incompetence regardless of education level, and failures in just about everything your do, anywhere you go, all day long, every fucking day when out and about in public.

            And I know I am not hallucinating it. But the typical idiot Filo tries desperately to sugar coat and play down the epidemic stupidity by saying it’s just a few. It really very much the opposite. There are JUST A FEW smart, semi-competent Filipinos around, and I do see them and interact with them maybe at a rate of 1 out of 200 Filos.

            He is the typical Filo idiot who just blames other things like poverty for instance for not growing brains and pulling himself up out of the cesspool of ignorance which makes up the overwhelmingly vast majority of Filipino citizens.

            If MOST Filos were smart, the country wouldn’t look and smell like a massive toilet.

            Grow a fucking brain. The evidence is clear and visible for all to see how fucking dumb Filos are. Just take a look outside!!!

          3. Profile gravatar of mike-test

            Only retards believes bullshit Aquino. You fucktards do really believe in some sort of filifuckno messiah who can save your shithole country do you?

            Ah comparing failures again? The classic stupido tonto pinoy mentallity “if Juan shits in his pants then whats wrong if Pedro do the same” kind of logic?

          4. Profile gravatar of 30-30

            Look at the manila airport,, They have not cleaned the outside for years,, 550 pesos for every passenger going out and they afford soap and water..Philippine pride my ass

        2. Profile gravatar of huwag-kang-tanga

          Why do you believe the president is doing good? Is it because of the one impeachment trial he instigated? That was a joke, they picked on one guy, who had barely done anything compared to the other senators, mayors, presidents, and governors. It was just a stunt to make it look like the president was taking a stand against corruption. Meanwhile he drives a porsche, and basically plays around all the time. The president actually has no power here at all, he can huff and puff, but nothing ever happens, and he doesn’t even care, as long as he doesn’t get caught in office, its all good!!

          What else maybe the economy is giving you this indication? Oh wait the peso has barely changed, oh and the employment rate? The same! What has this asshole done for the country? Nothing nothing at all, he doesn’t care about you or any of his other filipinos, he just wants to coast through the six years, and setup his friends to win the next presidency. It’s liking playing house as kids.

          Let’s not forget the crap with china. The president declared that the South China Sea will hencforth be known as the West Philippine Sea. Did you know the president can do that?? Fuck the UN fuck international sanctions, and naming regulations, and treaties, the president just changed the name of the fucking South China Sea, what a badass!! What did this do it increased his approval rating in the country, meanwhile everyone else in the world laughed and was like what? Are they a bunch of 5 year olds?

          The country is not “righting it’s sail” it’s actually capsizing.

      2. Profile gravatar of montreal_dude

        Did South Korea made their economy by sending nannies abroad for 500$ a month? 😉
        Yeah South Korea really rocks. They make really good movies too. South Koreans are not passing their entire days sit down smiling. They are civilized, worker and have a great sense of ethic.

  4. Profile gravatar of montreal_dude

    I just called EA Game in Austin Texas for a problem with Battlefield 3 and I’m so glad cuz I talked with an American. No fucking failipinos saying “sir” between every 2 words. no stupid words that ends by “shiounne” (exemple: destinashiounne,producshiounne ect) . I just heard some clear and understandable English like we all like.