Out for a morning walk again, I popped into the consistently sub-standard McDonald’s which I normally avoid, for a Sausage McMuffin meal. Amazingly the food was all served at once (for once), but just like everything you do in Philippines, you can be sure that there will be some level of idiotic Filipino FAIL.
I always keep my expectations of standards extremely low in Philippines. And Filipinos ALWAYS meet those extremely low expectations. Today I was served a hocky puck disguised as a Sausage McMuffin which felt like it was just taken off the ice. It was completely cold, coagulated cheese, and the muffin was hard. Three bites and I just couldn’t take it anymore.
But the most disgusting thing was the hash browns. They tasted and looked like they were cooked in old motor oil. They didn’t even let it drain before putting it in the wrapper, so all the disgusting over-used, old, scorched and burned out oil came dripping out of the wrapper.
So I asked one of the brain dead idiots to get the manager over to my table to come look at this. The narcissistic limp-wristed, prissy-boy idiot disguised as a manager shows up at my table. This is not the first time, or the second, that I have confronted this poor excuse for a manager. He and I have a history of discussing the very low standards he keeps for a brand name that is known world wide for decent, quality standards. They are known for no matter where in the world you go, when you go to a McDonalds, the food you get will taste and look the same whether it’s in USA, Japan, Europe, or anywhere…..EXCEPT PHILIPPINES.
But that’s the way it goes in Philippines. You put anything of good and high standards in the hands of Filipinos, those standards will always plummet to the typical pinoy standards of ZERO. I know it’s normal for Filipinos to cook food and let it sit on a counter for hours, even all day long, and still eat it all cold, coagulated, and disgusting (YUCK!!). And they just can’t seem to understand that is not the standard of people with active brain cells and actual taste buds. So don’t bring your disgusting habits into food I’M PAYING FOR TO BE HOT AND FRESH. (and in this case, CLEAN).
Here’s how the conversation with the manager went;
ME: Hi it’s me again, complaining about low standards again. I have good news and I have bad news. I’ll start with the good news. Congratulations for serving all the food at the same time. Now the bad news. All the food is utter sub-standard shit again. The sandwiches are cold and obviously old, and the hash browns taste and look like they were fried in old motor oil. Look at this! So if you’re the manager, I would think that you are responsible for maintaining quality standards here. This is our third conversation about this in a month. You have the WORST quality averages out of all McDonald’s I’ve ever eaten at in my life.
MANAGER: Yes sir, I do monitor the standards here. It’s not really the worst.
ME: I see, well then I apologize. My bad! I must BE JUST IMAGINING THIS REALLY DARK OIL OOZING FROM MY HASH BROWNS. And I must be just imagining they taste like shit. And I must have lost all sense of touch, because I swear there was no heat to this sandwich when it arrived at my table. Should I go see a physician and psychiatrist? Maybe I’m making up an arbitrary conspiracy for no reason over a McDonald’s breakfast just to be evil to a manager I don’t know.
Or MAYBE YOU SHOULD YOU STOP PISSING DOWN MY BACK AND TELLING ME IT’S RAINING? I’m sitting here showing you forensic, concrete PROOF that you are NOT MONITORING STANDARDS HERE. Does that not register in any of the 3 remaining brain cells that are managing to survive between your ears?
Look at this oil! Tell me that’s fresh oil. Go ahead, I dare you to tell me that’s fresh oil. That is oil that has OBVIOUSLY been used for DAYS! Touch the sandwich, it just arrived maybe 3 minutes ago. It’s ice cold! How are you monitoring standards?
MANAGER: Sir I’ll replace your meal.
ME: How about a refund. I don’t have time to wait for you to empty, clean, and refill and reheat the deep fryer. I’m certainly not willing to wait for that. And I will probably be tasting that old raunchy scorched oil taste in my mouth for the rest of the day. And I’ve lost my appetite for eating here anymore thanks to you FAILING to do your job.
I’ll be contacting Winston, your regional manager to forward this complaint to him. Obviously the previous two confrontations with you did no good. Winston and I are on a first name basis now. Seems you store level managers are incompetent to do your jobs, or have the dignity to do what you’re paid to do, so I have to go to him.
(And then the whole time this exchange is happening, the old bitty at the next table kept turning and giving me this look that would slice through an 8 inch thick slab of steel, as if I have no right to complain about shit food I’m paying for.)
Needless to say, I’ll be staying away from that branch for a while. But I’ll pop in a couple months from now for an update LOL.Published in