More Rants, Raves and Observations.

So here we are in another new year hoping to see improvements but waiting for what most likely will be more failures. Some more spectacular than others and maybe even some that blow the mind with a very big WTF WERE THEY THINKING?

Holy Mary Full Of Sh!t!

So we have our son in a private school which he seems to enjoy as much as a kid in school can I guess. Now this happens to be a catholic school but I was assured they would not push the religion on him before we enrolled him. Now if you have been in the philippines any length of time you know what is coming. After he was enrolled and about a month or so into classes it happened. The school said he had to attend mass once a month as part of his grades, all together now,,,, WTF!!!

So I go to his school to take his lunch, pick him up, chat with teacher about his progress. She ensures me he can do something else to replace the mass but offers nothing. As we talk outside the classroom gently flapping in the soft breeze are the string banners that run from post to post we see all along the streets. What are the banners? They are all ads for Globe! Teacher says Globe is one of their sponsors when I ask about them, the whole school grounds are plastered with them and it’s not a small campus. I have heard that the catholic church has 30 BILLION PESOS stock in the philippines. Archdiocese in Germany has 2 BILLION EURO surplus of funds and the list goes on. So why in hell does a catholic school in the philippines need a commercial sponsor? Yes, this is his first and last year at this school.

Where’s The Smart Part?

We went and looked a a bigger, better house the other day. Going down the street we stopped at a light and to my right I saw a tarp banner stating “Enjoy Ultra Fast Internert With Smart Bro Pocket WiFi In Brgy____”

Now I happen to live in that Brgy and just happen to have Smart Bro Pocket Wifi. I’m wondering when the “Ultra Fast” starts because for the last 4 months service has gotten worse and it is not uncommon for it to take 2 plus hours for a webpage to load! Reminds me of my boot camp days with the NCOs yelling ” DEAD PEOPLE MOVE FASTER THAN THAT!” or the ever popular “OLD PEOPLE FUCK FASTER THAN THAT!” NCOs always have a way with words right?  But looking at the offers from Smart and the rest I see the fine print where it says 80% reliability. I think I have that figured out. They do not mean 80% of the time out of 100%. What they mean is the reliability is 80% only 20% of the time. Don’t know about you but as for me, I’m still waiting for the 20% of the time. I did stop into Globe and asked them about their pocket wifi. They assured me that theirs was better than Smart. But I have to ask,, how come I don’t believe them?

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished In The philippines

Kinfolk of wife had someone try to break into their house a few times back to back nights. So being the kind people we are wife asked about them borrowing our unused cctv system which I advised where to set the cameras. So what happens? They tell others they suspect wife is behind the attempted break ins. Told wife to go get the cctv system back before it gets broken, lost, sold or stolen as is the filipinos custom with anything they borrow.  Wife will not and the excuse is a classic “If I go get it back then they will say that I am behind the break ins.” and the tail chasing begins right? We all see where this is going. It’s a waste of time trying to explain to child bride that they are already saying that. Then to top it off her step mother started making veiled threats and all in the house stopped replying to texts from wife. Now what is it filipinos keep saying about close family ties?

The Maid Has Been Maid

As to the above we did find out our maid passed info to the kin about the break in attempts. Looks like a cousin that lives in house up front trying to scare them off and a dyke down the street stirring the pot. How can you fault a woman that most likely gets more pussy than you do? So the maid is quitting. Not because of the passing info, was nothing to pass really as we never said anything. No, she quitting because mom in law threatens to beat her. We all know how filipinos think they are better than anyone who works for them. But this maid was “odd” anyway:

1.) Never had to tell her what to do, she just did it.

2.) Never used bleach on my clothes nor ruined them.

3.) Kept house clean, clothes washed.

4.) Never showed me bear body parts nor tried to bed me 🙁

So told wife, now I see why your mom chased her away, she did her job, did not give me any hassles, I always had clean clothes. Yep, great reasons to chase her off. Only in the mind of a filipino right?

Blind Mice

I often go to to read the news articles and do the trivia. Well about a month or so ago I saw where the U.S. was GIVING 2 or 3 ships to the philippines so I read the article and then the comments. I went ahead and posted a comment that the philippines would not take care, repair or maintain the ships and do not take care of what they already have. To back up my post I mentioned the AFP cash conversion, Lim, corruption on all levels of the society, trash thrown everywhere along with filipinos urinating on walls, doorways and such.

So how did it go you are asking yourself? Well right away I got a reply from a filipino who said that skid row in Los Angeles was just as bad as what I said the philippines was like and I must be mad because I live on Smokey Mountain in Tondo. To this I replied that he can name only one place in the states but I am talking about a whole country that is like Smokey Mountain. Said pinoy never would say where he lived though.

So here come another blind mouse telling me he LIVED (not lives) in the philippines years ago for a decade and that I was lying in my post. He goes on to say that the philippines is a great place to invest and do business in which he named magazines that said pretty much the same thing. So I pointed him to the Biz News Asia magazine and told him if so great then come here and invest or open a business and then tell me how great it is. I told him I do live in the philippines. Where does he live? In the U.S.

But, I saved the best for last.

Third guy told me I was wrong about what I said it was like in the philippines. He said he knew because he was married to a pinay and living in the states.  So being married to a pinay and living in the U.S. makes him an expert on living in the philippines in his mind. My reply was simple. “Tell your pinay wife that you and her are selling everything you own and moving to the philippines for good and see what happens.” Never heard another word from him. I did notice though that ALL my comments regarding the philippines was removed by the website.

Did I use racial slurs? No. Did I trash anyone? No. All I did was say what everyone sees but ignores, said what can be verified online through several websites and what happens? I’m called a racist. Once again the truth hurts and comments removed. One funny thing though about after my comments were removed and I saw that. I put another comment in the same original posts as the replies of the others were not removed, my parting comment was “Looks like is kissing filipino @ss.” That was not removed.

Pinoy Proof?

As you all know the child bride likes to do business, minds out of the gutter please. I’m talking the likes of owning a store, diner and so on and so forth which brings me to Pinoy Proof is there such a thing? In the navy they had an old saying that “it might be child proof but they have never made anything that is sailor proof.” so in line with that here we go.

1.) Staff would bend forks and spoons to use so they could “lock” the door. It did not matter that the padlock was right next to the door and within arms reach.

2.) Using bleach or chlorine and ruining clothes.

3.) Open the Rubbermaid cooler 40 quart and push lid back so far they snap it off.

4.) Break the thick,hard (mind out of gutters please) handle on a pressure cooker in half.

5.) Break the doors off the plastic cabinet that holds the plates. Not just one door but both and all within 2 months.

6.) Twist the knobs on faucets so hard when turning off they twist to faucet off. I replaced 12 faucets in 2 months.

7.) Broken plates, glasses, bowls.

8.) Broken pots and pans.

9.) Using steel wool on non stick pans until they see the shiny metal under ruining the pan. Yes, they were told not to use steel wool and sponge only.

10.) Using sandpaper to clean a pot until they sandpaper a hole in the side.

We left a 12″ Samsung LCD flat panel tv with my mother in law so she would have a tv. Well it lasted less than a year. Why? She let water drip down on onto it until it blew. At present I’m wondering just  how the 32″ managed to survived.

Then I think of the freezer of Poor Ol’ Joe. He went back to the states to work and his “wife” let kinfolk borrow the freezer. They in turn loaned it to one of their friends all without Joe knowing. Some of you will remember the post I made about that. So Joe arrives back in the pi and noticed his freezer was gone and goes looking for it. Joe found his freezer later with car parts stored in it at the friend of the wife’s kin folk. What was wrong besides car parts and trash stored inside of it? They punched holes all over on the inside because ice was building up. So there is a ruined freezer that cost thousands of pesos. Do the filipinos offer to replace or pay for it? NO! What do they do? They look at Joe and ask “Do you want it back?”

So the question remains, is anything pinoy proof? Is there anything they cannot tear up, break or otherwise trash?

Published in Article Commentary, Filipino Stupidity, Rants


  1. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    To Mike.
    Where did you find that maid? Sounds one in a million, of course they have to get rid of her.
    I think the liberal media is hiding a lot of stuff. Just look at the cover ups about the mossies in Europe.!

  2. Profile gravatar of Mike
    Mike Post author

    Found her through step mother of wife. Guess she came from a small town. Can say without a doubt she was the best we had. Kept the place clean, laundry done, dishes washed soon and left the table and never stole anything. If she found money in my pockets during laundry she returned it.

  3. Profile gravatar of Mike
    Mike Post author

    On the bright side. Last night I hit the atm for a few pesos. Without knowing I dropped a 1000 bill which a guard pointed out to me. So I went in the hotel and had him order any meal he wanted. What did he order? A bucket of chicken for 250 and 2 mountain dews. He got that so he could share with the guard on duty with him. That is indeed a rare filipino.

    1. Profile gravatar of

      yeah some lads like that are real rare, most of the times, reason they act like that is because theyve probably gone through horrendous shite and just wants to make the sad country happier.

      1. Profile gravatar of Hey Joe
        Hey Joe

        Yes.. rare, indeed.

        My wife left without her change at our local Shell gas station. Well over one week later she returns for a fill-up, and what do you know.. there is p100 in a plastic bag with her name on it returned to her.
        WTF??? I say !!

        So I do something unheard of in this hell-hole. I email Shell corporate the story with my thanks for a honest man. Shell, in turn contacts that local outlet. That outlet manager contacts me. Invites me to her office..
        WTF again !! All for just doing what is “the right thing”
        OH!! the ass kissing to this very day we get when ever we go get diesel….free coffee sir?? check the tires sir?? wash the windshield sir?? suck your dick sir?? 🙂 not one attendant..but 3 or 4 swarm our truck as soon as I or my wife even start to pull-in. It is somewhat embarrassing to me the way they fall all over themselves kissing-ass. Like I am royalty or something.
        We even get the PUJ discount price for diesel. (works for me) !!
        I have always been a strong believer in not only bitching when something is wrong, but complementing when something is done RIGHT.
        This time it has somewhat back-fired on me as I am not fond of the pinoy ass-kissing.
        But hey, I will take the PUJ discount !!

        1. Profile gravatar of Mufazzza

          But it also underscores the rarity of the case, sadly!

          If royalty can get used to being pampered I guess you can too hey-joe;-)

          Asskissing is an Asian phenomen! I guess the Japanese, even Chinese do it in a…more elegant way.

          The only thing Pinoy excels is being amateurish. So asskissing until uncomfortable would be their norm.

  4. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    One time the wife and stepson were hungry at MOA. and had no money. The wife asked the gAURD at the China Bank for some money, He disappeared and came back with 500 pesos..
    Obviuosly it was his own money,,,,
    I think she paid him back next day

  5. Profile gravatar of

    Ah, it’s good time stories?
    K, my MIL once emptied a pot of leftover chicken adobo In the trash……..I watched her do it……..hour later the adobo appears back in the same pot (yup, checked the trash and it had been taken out) and she offers it to me………..clueless that I knew. So I refuse her kind offer……..wife gets home and within 3 mins, MIL has passed on my rude behaviour of refusal to her kindness.
    btw, she threw out the chicken right after I refused it……
    Explain to wife and of course, I’m a liar 🙂
    How dare I upset poor mother….she loves you. Bwahaha! She’d slice me like a hog given the chance.
    The acts of kindness come fast and furious some days 😉

  6. Profile gravatar of

    the bit about the masses, hahaahahha xD
    went to a catholic school like your lad, had to attend masses all the bloody time to the point that I just got sick of standing, kneeling, and singing all the time, i ended up sitting and standing the whole mass, got the ire of the nun though, aha.
    if you think that your lads school is bad, wait till you hear what my old school had to say back in elementary,
    “Are you tired of studying? Exams coming up? Too lazy to even use your brain for a moment? Well we’ve got the solution for you! FIELD TRIPS! If you come with us to the field trips, you can easily get all of your periodical exams, PERFECT *Booming noise in the background saying perfect*, thats right! Perfect! What do you need to do? All you have to do is pay 2500 PHP upfront! What happens if you dont come, well you have to take the tests!
    Well theres my hand to being a billy mays clone xD

    1. Profile gravatar of Mike
      Mike Post author

      Just got a consent slip for son to take first field trip, cost 400 including meals, air con bus and such. Then it goes on to say to pack a meal and snack for him to take on the trip..

      1. Profile gravatar of

        400? Bloody hell, thats a steal, mind I ask, where are they goin? Mine costed a bit more since I was growing up in the province

      2. Profile gravatar of Hey Joe
        Hey Joe

        My daughter won some science competition in school. Then they have several other schools compete. Again she wins.
        So now she has to go to Manila to compete. Going to cost me close to p17k for the wife and her to go !!! airfare, hotel, food so on, so on.. I wish I could go, to get out of the house, but to expensive. Plus the fact being around this much pinoy BS would make me go postal. And me being the only token white guy….no.. I am best off at home.

        IMO, this is the schools deal, the school should pick-up the tab. or at the least, subsidize it. What do “I” get out of this???
        (I) did not start this contest. Seems it is some national deal. I am told the winner may even go on to a international finals. I was asked if my daughter has a passport if she wins this.
        (IF) my daughter were to win this… OH the pinoy pride will just be gushing !!! But who picked up the tab????
        What if I were just a “poor pinoy”?? that did not have the cash to pay ?? NO, it is just assumed that because I;m white, I have the cash.

        17k is a lot of money “to me”. To be honest that is way over budget, made worse with all the Christmas bills.
        Any one want to bet I will not even get noticed??
        And the pignoy pride will never ever let them notice that my daughter is very WHITE.

        1. Profile gravatar of Mufazzza

          Why not behave like poor Pinoy and not have the money? Much less stress!
          Or will there be tampo as result?;-)
          You will not be noticed!
          They will be very proud that pinay can be so white (and smart!;-)
          These “competitions” are just like “field trip”, just a way to get money outta you!
          And when you started they will want More money!
          If it’s over budget it’s bad budget discipline!

  7. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    Field trips ?? somebody must be making money someplace,, we used to walk to a river and have a holiday there once a year in a one room school house. no money, The school district would have been in an uproar if they had to spend .25 cents.
    I seen a college in palawan offering Petroleum Engineering. Well when oil was at a 100 bucks a barrel,, everything and his dog jumped in to get rich. Even women are takign the course. I see on their linkedin profile ,, most of them are secretaries and gofers…..

  8. Profile gravatar of FHPS

    Using bleach or chlorine and ruining clothes.
    re above

    yep …and they look blank when you say that shirt cost
    xxx pesos (5 times what it costs in the Philippines)
    for a branded shirt
    they seemingly cannot piece
    one side of the brain to another to think
    a shirt could cost 2,000 pesos or something

    1. Profile gravatar of

      Shouldve seen me mum 2 months ago when we were out to buy some winter jackets! Had a bloody stroke from a CHF59.99 piece for kids, and she considers anything atleast CHF15 above, expensive! She also went mental when I bought my hat that costed about CHF32.50
      Oh I do love the “masmura masmaganda” (the cheaper the better) mentality of most filipinos, my favourite bit is when they go “ano bayan, anong kagaguhan to, sira kagad!” (Oh come on, what shite is this, its already broken!) after a week 😀

  9. Profile gravatar of 30-30

    On the other hand,,, my clothes cost nothing,, but when the maid bleached something. the SO would rant and rave all day.
    Now we dont have a maid,, thank God for that. one less headache, bitching, moaning to hear about.

  10. Profile gravatar of dpjb2923

    although I do not live there in PI, only once did a PI person do something nice for me without expecting something afterwards
    I was waiting in Dumbagutie airport and had to stand since all the seats were taken. Oh well, thats fair.
    Anyways a little old lady in the secure area came up to me with her stool and offered it to me. I refused becasuse I felt she needed more than I did

  11. Profile gravatar of dpjb2923

    A question to those who reside in PI
    Do long term expats (foreigners) carry a pistol or have one?
    I think I have heard foreigners cannot own one, but can they cary one that has their wife as a documented owner?
    I doubt it will happen but if I were to live there, I would want one

    1. Profile gravatar of Hey Joe
      Hey Joe

      Laws,, better known as suggestions here, are open for interpretation.
      Anyone can buy a permit here. Not saying that is a legal permit 😉 but you can still buy one. same with a “friend”. Anyone can buy one on the street..just ask around

      Carry is one thing, own is another. The way i read the “law” foreigners are allowed to call the police and ask for help. Then curl up in the fetal position (cry and blow snot bubbles) and wait to be killed and or robbed.
      A natural born can own and or carry with permit. Unless you are native, they expect you to be defenseless.

      What do I do?? I’m an American…(damnit) what do you think I do?? when I am home, I am seldom more than feet away from one of my friends.
      One can even see in the dark. In the 6yrs I have been here, only twice have I needed to ask them to come with me to go have a look around.
      But they always stay home. When i go out, I always carry a nice blade low in the pocket clip. banks,malls, I been checked a million times. They never notice or care. It’s okay for a blade, pepper-spray, stun-gun so on. can buy at any mall.
      For me.. I am damned happy to have friends around. I look at them like a fire extinguisher. No one wants a fire to happen. But you are sure happy you can put out the fire if one starts.


      1. Profile gravatar of Don Quixote
        Don Quixote

        My mate has a quota visa and no wife and he inquired at the Immigration in Manila last time he was in there, due to this exact same discussion. The attorney in charge told him as he was a Permanent resident he can own a firearm in his own name.
        He did not qualify if he can carry outside his premises. He also did not get that in writing, as I would want if ever I went down that road.
        If you want a gun in Olongapo the police will sell you one anytime. IF you want to risk it.

        1. Profile gravatar of Hey Joe
          Hey Joe

          This issue seems to be VERY open for interpretation. I have had lawyers tell me things that I know full well are illegal to be legal. Some of these lawyers will say whatever you want as long as you pay.

          I am not saying you are wrong at all Don. I wish/hope you are right.
          As I read it… carry and have one on your property are or (may) be 2 separate things.
          Your friends lawyer may be right as far as own one. But how do you (carry) it home from the legit shop where you bought it and had the paperwork done at?
          I’m sure one could have a carry holder (carry) it back home for you, where it would be okay to have now that it is back at your property.
          I can tell you that is one way they get you in the states. Carry and own is a PITA. And it changes state to state

          “The right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed”.. Period…the end. Not, so much with lefties in charge. Thank god for buy off the newpaper !!

      2. Profile gravatar of Johnny

        That is the beauty, stupidity, corruption, and overall just the Philippines. EVERYTHING is illegal to some extent, but start asking specifics, and all of a sudden, it looks like a bunch of monkeys sitting around scratching their heads says, “uh, sir”. A very simple question, “Can foreigners own guns in the Philippines?” Why can no one answer that simple question? Cause its the Philippines and when do they outright and directly answer anything with absolute conviction or reference the law to show it? NEVER!
        They make a law, then make 15 exemptions or the new law directly conflicts with another law so no one fucking knows. Anyone with an IQ over 86 would try to stop such nonsense, but Filipinos love it cause #1 They can use it for self-serving purposes (gov’t and citizen) #2 They can never really be held accountable #3 They can break the rules and we all see how much Filipinos love that. #4 They can play stupid if they are ever caught. Just like ANY Filipino attorney will always say, “its illegal for a foreigner to own property,,,,,,, but I know a few tricks to get around that”.

        From what I know. Foreigners are NOT allowed to own firearms. The only exceptions are for “wife protection”, meaning if your intention to use the firearm is to protect your wife and it is registered, then its ok. If you’re single and its to protect your own life, then you can go fuck yourself kano. And either way, you’re not allowed to leave your home with it.
        Again, there is the RULE, but like Don says, the police will sell you a gun saying its ok, then maybe later arrest you for possession of that gun. Even if you buy it from a cop, person, or store I’m sure it has to be registered, but of course, “Not a problem sir, we don’t need to follow that rule”.

    1. Profile gravatar of Johnny

      Most times a foreigner is killed, it’s someone he’s familiar with or someone who can get access to the foreigners house.
      There are random killings of foreigners, but many times its the crazy ex boyfriend or maids theiving brother who get access to the house.