My bus is my penis. Common sense need not apply.

Just a quickie for some comedic relief.

This is what contributed to a huge backup of traffic on EDSA the other day.  Three busses, all side by side on a narrow road, not moving.

3 busses

Ok, we get it.  Pain in the ass busses.  We know all about them.  What’s so funny about that?

Weeellll… gets funny when you find out that the reason those busses caused such a backup and couldn’t move is because they REFUSED to move.  All three drivers refused to let the other two go ahead of them, so they all stayed put, blocking each other from leaving and causing a traffic jam for miles.

3 Buses Closer

Fucking Flips….

Published in Blatant Stupidiy, Delusional Filipino, Filipino Stupidity, Traffic In Philippines


  1. Profile gravatar of beameup

    This is an illustration of why the P.I. is forever dysfunctional. There are probably several hundred “mother tongue” dialects in the P.I. – each one representing a unique “culture” (sub-culture). Throw them all together in the “blender” of Metro-Manila, and you get massive non-cooperation and dysfunction.

  2. Profile gravatar of Spartacus_killingus

    But WHY????

    I mean I can imagine you asking someone “Hey why is the happening why are they stopped?”

    Filipino : “Eh becus de repuse to move..”

    You: @____________________@ WTF?

    Me: ” Oh no you dont mother fucker, Why do they refuse to move”
    Everyone looks at me like I have a second head growing out of my neck. lol

    No but seriously do you know why they refused?

    1. Profile gravatar of CantFixStupid

      Because of the country wide belief in “ako muna” (me first) attitude. Oh hell no motherfuckers, in the immortal words of Ricky Bobby’s dad “If you’re not first, your last!”. So typical day in the land of dumbassery.

  3. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
    Pinay Lover

    I went out to do my usual grocery shopping and tried to imagine an opposite world from Canada. I had people open doors for me, ask my how my day was, a bakery worker asking “hey, would your kid like a free cookie?”, a functional clerk ringing my food up and making sure I use my points card for rebates, drivers on the road leaving me room to cross lanes, and then I thought of the the Philippines and how the hell I would be able to live there when people are so fucking selfish, they will fuck everyone over to get their way. This story just proves how self righteous and bloody greedy they are. Willing to hold up miles of traffic to get their way.

    A story I mentioned before, if you haven’t read it, was about a Filipino who was holding up a bank line. Anyways, my cousin and a huge line of people were waiting for their turn and this dumb Filipino girl who was racking up debt like there was no tomorrow, wanted more free money! What did the bank teller say to her? “you already owe thousands, you can’t take anymore money out”…..she persisted but she was going nowhere. Finally she gave up and left….but really? You’re going to be that stupid and selfish holding everybody up because you want free money when you already owe?!

    I just hate the mentality of some of these people. Parasite, freeloading, good for nothing, selfish, self righteous, users and abusers with no shame.

    1. Profile gravatar of Spartacus_killingus

      “but really? You’re going to be that stupid and selfish holding everybody up because you want free money when you already owe?!”

      Why yes, yes they are!


      Man, shit like that pisses me off to no end, its like you have no words to describe it. Idiocy, stupidity, selfishness, these just are not suitable terms. I have seen what you said so many times there its rediculous.

      One time I got of a bus and was waiting for a cab next to this jolly bee drive thru. typical bad lay out mean that the beginning of the drive thru was short and began literally in the street.

      This one middle class type based on the car he was driving, was too busy facebooking on his cellphone to realize it was his turn to move out of the street. Someone just tapped their horn (Hey you’re good) kind of thing.

      He got pissed and sat there looking at them in the rearview mirror for nearly 10 minutes while he held up traffic for miles.
      “HOW DARE YOU HONK YOUR HORN AT ME SIR!!!” Was basically what it was all about.

      I mean seriously, you get butt hurt because you are in the wrong and then are going to make everyone else suffer for your dumbassery? Im speechless, but I tell ya, sometimes punching someone in the mouth says more than words ever could.

      1. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
        Pinay Lover

        That part of their mentality just boggles my mind. They are too proud to be fucking wrong! If they are proven wrong they go to no end to make you suffer for calling them out.

  4. Profile gravatar of Spartacus_killingus

    One of the things I was always thankful for when living in the Philippines was that I was able to work from home. Every time I actually had to leave the house at a time when most people were going to work I felt this sense of morning dread.

    Imagine, every morning trying to get into manila to a job that doesn’t pay shit. what a fucking hassle, then you have dumbasses like this who act like soiled brats, and very likely cost some people their jobs.

    No one wants to get up before the crack of dawn, to go walk up to a line of people, cram their ass into an FX cab with way more than there should be, make 40 stops along the way, get out, walk through bus exhaust to catch 1 of 5 jeeps you’ll need to get to your last stop, to then take an over crowded train, then to finally get to your low paying shit job with shit bosses, then do it twice a day.

    Man Im glad I never had to do that for a job.

    1. Profile gravatar of

      I flew into Manila at 0430 what a difference , it didn’t look like the shit hole it is.
      Cleared immigration found the bride and left the airport.
      What amazed me as we left Manila is the teen aged children going to school in their uniforms at this time, just so as to get to school on time.
      Still dark , these I was informed by the child bride were PRIVATE SCHOOL so they valued their education, and had parents that gave a damn.
      Hope its not a total waste.

      1. Profile gravatar of Spartacus_killingus

        Unfortunately if some of the stories on here hold true, most will only want to be taxi drivers or house wives when they grow up.
        They literally don’t have a clue why they are going to school, for them its just something that kind of happens, until they can buy that used cab or marry a worthless piece of shit husband. Well they all deserve each other I guess. lol

      2. Profile gravatar of justsomeflip

        As a Filipino, I have to say there is a significant difference between kids in private schools and those in the public ones. Usually the former end up with decent jobs and the latter end up being the lazy-ass drunks smiling and laughing like morons on the street.

        1. Profile gravatar of JackTheBlack

          This applies to employees as well. I’ve worked with intelligent and hard working Filipinos to whom I have nothing but respect, but unfortunately they are very difficult to find. Especially one guy doesn’t stop to amaze me on how well informed and aware he is, even on European/American standard. (He has long career working with foreigners)

          Only if this country would have maximum 10 million people and 90% of them like those individuals.

          1. Profile gravatar of justsomeflip

            Difficult to find indeed.

            Although to clarify with regards to my above post, being in a private school doesn’t automatically guarantee that the kid will grow up to be some arrogant douche.

  5. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
    Captain PFB

    The complete ignorance and absolute void and absence of concern for others around them is incomprehensible (for lack of a better term). I cannot in any way understand how any single individual, MUCH LESS AN ENTIRE FUCKING NATION, can soar to such levels of hair pulling frustrating pure brainless stupidity. My fucking dog has more awareness and concern than the average dumbfuck Filipino.

    I swear to fucking KKKreischt, it’s no wonder I haven’t even been out on my balcony, much less out of my house in about 3 months. Every time I do go out, I age 5 years. I figure I’ll live longer. Even with the Filipinos that live and work in my house, that’s about all the stupidity and mind-boggling frustration I can handle anymore. I remain a much calmer, gentler man if I JUST AVOID GOING OUT into the jungle of brainlessness and ignorance where there is no logic or reason happening anywhere. At least my own logic and reason keeps me company.

    1. Profile gravatar of Spartacus_killingus

      I feel you on that Filo, when I was in the Philippines I was or at least became a complete shut in. I just stopped going out altogether for exactly the reasons you mentioned, I just I didn’t see a point.

      Anytime someone asked me if I would want to go out, my reply was “Hell no, why would I?” I mean seriously why go out, what reason would have to subject myself needlessly to what’s out there?

      Rude comments from ignorant stand by types, unnecessarily rude drivers laying on their fucking horns all day even at cross walks.
      trash everywhere, kids scratching at your arm and following you around like flies on shit. the list goes on and on. It’s like the celestial point of discomfort on all levels imaginable.

      I felt safe and secure in my little world, that was within the walls of my condo. I even stopped answering the door for fucks sake. I just felt desperate to escape from that outside world of chaos and disorder.

    2. Profile gravatar of

      I truly believe dogs and chickens are smarter.
      Watch even stray dogs , they eventually know what traffic is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Even a dog knows that they can look to the left and right
      Even chicken eventually know what traffic is !!!!!!!! I’m not sure how they know but maybe just they notice some of there brood have gone when trying to get to the other side of the road.
      Maybe just maybe one day they will TEACH the FUCKING CHILDREN IN SCHOOL how to cross a FUCKING ROAD.

    3. Profile gravatar of JackTheBlack

      I’m feeling exactly the same. Prior to coming to PH and in the beginning of my PH experience I loved to travel and go around. After couple of years in this god forsaken country I simply don’t want to leave my home mainly because of the traffic. Add to that all the bs one has to tolerate and things can be unbearable.

      To maintain my sanity I had to built Chinese wall around me. Most of the things are handled by other people who I trust and who are capable of doing them. This place can be hell unless one finds way to take advantage of the system.

  6. Profile gravatar of snakebitbytheflip

    And to think that I once loved this country, its people, and felt that they were just “misunderstood” and needed proper instruction in order to act in a proper fashion. I even had plans to take early retirement, sell nearly everything I own over here (including my “earthly love”–a small airplane that I’ve owned since 1993), and move over there to try to help them.

    Don’t worry, I finally came to my senses. I have no plans to ever return to that —-hole again for so much as a visit, much less live there.

    These people are —-ing hopeless.

      1. Profile gravatar of justsomeflip

        The problem is even if you helped them, their ungratefulness still manages to come through. Here’s an example.

        This whole story happened here in the province where I live. A few months ago my uncle was headed to the airport to catch a plane. Upon reaching the airport, some airport police officers came forward asking him for a bit of cash – the situation headed somewhere quite different than you would think.

        My uncle asked the cops why they needed cash. As it turns out, a Spanish couple who were supposed to be on the next flight were robbed of their belongings, and had come to the police station for help, then the cops decided they’d raise some money for them to get to the airport in Manila. Seems like a different dimension, right? Upon meeting the couple and giving them some cash, my uncle asked them what happened. As it turns out, the two were aid volunteers working in the province in the storm-affected areas. Now what does that tell you?

        Those two nice people volunteered to help, and what do they get in return? They got robbed. Of all their stuff. BY A FLIP. They wouldn’t have been in that predicament in the first place were it not for some lying, stealing scumbag native. Sure, the story ends with them getting on the airplane and back home, but the point is that their hardship was caused by one of the people they were trying to help.

  7. Profile gravatar of Purplebeltbrah

    It hurts so much that the true nature of the Philippines doesn’t make me want to live there again…and I was born there but I grew up abroad. After living in Malaysia and Canada before moving back to the PI for 9 months, I can totally see why things the way they are. Just fking sad

  8. Profile gravatar of justsomeflip

    I remember a time back when I was in kindergarten, my dad was taking me to school. we were in the car, driving at just the right speed, and as we were about to reach the intersection, this moron tricycle driver (tricycles are pretty much taxis here in my town) suddenly tries to cut in and nearly hits our car. My dad (who is allergic to dumbasses) proceeds to yell at the idiot, who just stutters there, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he nearly hit a vehicle with a child onboard.

    1. Profile gravatar of

      justsomeflip, your story reminded me when I was in the Philippines last year. Right in front of my hotel was a one way road….. to obedient citizens that is. But the disobedient Flips, made it 2 way, especially tricycles and motorbike riders. In order to leave that hotel and get out of town, I had to head west – almost colliding with the damn trike and motorbike riders heading east – illegally! On a couple of occasions, I beeped at the dumb bastards with my SUV. But the thick-as-a-plank morons with only a couple of brain cells held by a spirochete just glared at me, as if saying “how dare you get offended!” Now, if I’d ran over one of those morons even if it was their fault, I know that they would have been bled for money or else go to prison!

      By the way, spirochetes are the bacteriums that inhabit or cause syphilis infections.

      1. Profile gravatar of

        oopps! damn typo! meant to say that I would have been bled for money. Driving in the Philippines don’t just need good concentration and obeying the laws (even though some of the local citizens just ignore them) but also, patience, lots and lots of patience!

        1. Profile gravatar of justsomeflip

          That is so true. Drivers here, especially the ones on motorcycles and tricycles are bound to disobey traffic laws and even very basic road courtesy. In the years that I’ve been commuting here I’d say a good ratio of 7 out of 10 tricycle drivers will be dumbasses. Also they will overcharge you, because apparently you are at their mercy for a ride.

          It just gets worse. There have been a lot of dumbasses here lately that like to customize their sad little shitcycles with exhaust pipes that make loud, roaring, annoying fart noises. They overspeed all the time, swerve dangerously in and out of traffic, and every now and then you’d see one that has crashed into someone else on the road (unsurprisingly). I’ve been thinking about buying a paintball rifle and just camp out somewhere near the road so I can shoot the f’ers whenever they drive their sorry little asses up the road. Unfortunately that’s against the law.