My Filipina Manipulator Wife

I dont know if this applys to most Pinoy women but if it does please share you equal frustration.

I deal with this tampo (silent treatment) just about every day. My wifes secret mission from day one is to bring her freeloading, parasite pimps (parents) here to the 1st world. Initially when we first met I was compelled and felt sorry for them but boy, was i a sucker! As i’ve posted before, these parents of hers are the typical pimps demanding their slave children for everything. This attitude is unfortunately passed on to the children like my wife. What kind of attitude you ask? MANIPULATION!!!! THREATS and playing victim like a child is the shit i have to endure daily.

When I first started dating her she was a sweet kind person. Part of that is still there but her parents can transform that sweet girl into that over worked pimped out girl in a split second. I started seein the signs when she was pregnant with our child. They were jumping up an down with excitement like they just won the lottery. And you know what? That’s exactly what they were feeling. Soon after discovering this news it was non stop questions about sponsorship and bringing the father here. There was also non stop questions from my wife that was obviously implanted sayin “you have to learn to embrace our culture”. I translated that to “adopt and embrace my parasites pimps”. Things got worse and worse with her pimps. They thought they would get a green card and i had shit loads of cash but the fact was, i was prettty broke and my wife was far worse.

My plan then, was to team up with my wifes sister and save money to buy a jeepney so her father could make a decent living and not leech off of us. Keep in mind i had a baby on the way, was practically broke and really what i should have been doing is saving for my own families future. Anyway, long story short, i denied sponsoring him and decided to not invest in a jeepney because he made all these bullshit excuses “theres too much competition, the jeepney is to expensive to run”. Yada yada. Last i talked to him was on Skype. He knew i was catching on to the manipulation and corruption of what they call their “culture”. It was becoming clear that all they wanted was money. So what does he do to “make light” of the situation? He gets his little 7 yr old to tell me “givee your money” and has a laugh. That was the day I decided not to engage with them anymore. That was the day i felt insulted and lost all respect. Here i was struggling with a new diagnosed disease, expecting a child on the way, monitoring and trying to stop my money moron wife from racking up debt and this fucker has the nerve to joke with me?

That day was the day i realized most off shore filipinos are after just one thing. To obey and accept all wishes of the parents and get them to a 1st world and stop at nothing to get them here.

Now onto the manipulation. Why does my Filipina wife threaten and manipulate me? Ive asked this question and wondered how she could be so sweet and then suddenly turn into this manipulative, passive aggressive beast. My answer is that Its engrained into her and has been passed on by those useless parasites. Thats what they have done to her since she was born. Theyve beat her into submission all the years until now. How the hell they dont break out of their spell and see the truth is beyond me. I was a rebel for independence when i was young and i think thats a healthy thing for a kid to do, especially if he/she feels he/shes manipulated. This pinoy culture is so the opposite. Never have i seen a culture where kids obey parents without question. My wife has seen their cold manipulative ways but literally a couple days go by and its as though her mind was erased and suddenly shes worshipping them like Gods again.

So what does all this “culture” of bullshit do to a marriage? It fucking destoys it. My wife becomes manipulative, threatening and constantly wanting to go on her planned mission to suite her pimps needs and the reality is that she cant afford it and she has her sons future and our future to worry about, not theirs. You can try and rattle their brains to your hearts content. This is a spell that you cant break. Theyve been pimped to perfection to serve their masters and never question them. Part of the “culture” is to openly accept the family without question and that i find sickening and ignorant. If they havent earned my respect than they have to change their ways and earn it. Otherwise im not going to engage them. Simple as that.

So a warning to foreigners who have married a Filipina. You will never see the marriage get better until you openly accept these parasites , whether their ruthless freeloading pimps or not. Also, expect lots of manipulation with tampo ( silent treatment) and plenty of threats and loads of denial and NOTHING being her fault. Get used to talking to her like shes a sulky child too because they are perfectionists when it comes to this. Dont expect adult conversations and adult negotiations. Instead you will receive empty threats and silent treatment. Also, every problem she has is because of YOU! She is never at fault, so get used to that. Another common trend you might experience is the looming financial threats she will pull on you. Like “im goin to the Philippines whether you like it or not” when she is already thousands in debt an has a child and mortgage to pay off.

The one bonus of the tampo is that she might sleep on the couch and give you the bed to yourself which i fucking love. Also, with my wife, she loves to use pussy power to get her way, sleeping on the couch hoping i am suffering , but at this point im happy wacking it in the shower and getting a good nights sleep on the bed alone! Lol!

So what have i learned from the “culture” is that you must embrace it whether you disagree with it or not, you must open your arms to the pimps pimping your wife, you must tolerate rudness, disrespetful behavior, you must suck up to your wife when she does tampo and last bu not least, you have to throw all your money away to useless parasites who think they own you! Otherwise they will”disown you”.

Im hoping one day my wife snaps out if this manipulation and threats bu i only see that happening when her pimps pass away.

Published in Filipina Wife


  1. Profile gravatar of Alex Azar
    Alex Azar

    That is almost spot on with my Filipino girlfriend when she gets mad she does the stupid silent treatment and on every pay check she gets more than half of it goes to her family

  2. Profile gravatar of beameup

    It’s always the same situation when you marry a Filipina and bring her to the “states”. If it wasn’t parents, it would be brothers & sisters. Hoping that they will become “self sufficient” by shoving cash into their hands, so they can start a business in the P.I. will always end in failure.

    “a two-time loser”

    1. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
      Pinay Lover Post author

      This day and age, trying to get by in 1st world nations is becoming harder. If OFWs made a large sum of money and had lots of left over money, I would see no harm in helping these parasites. But the fact they are ungreatful pushy and entitled to your money, they don’t deserve it.

      These people could single handily destroy a socialist system in no time, with all the constant entitlement and free money mentality.

    2. Profile gravatar of Captain PFB
      Captain PFB

      well, the only reason why any filipino owned and operated business in Philippines survives is because their customer base is comprised of other stupid, brainless, timid, “bend over and take it” types of people. If a Filipino ran a business in nearly any other part of the world like he runs it in FAILippines, he would probably be firebombed at worst, definitely would not survive a week at best.

      Get fucked by a business, and it’s all just marked up to “dats just de way it is in de Pilippines! I bend ober and take de butt pucking like good little peeenoy…..tank you sirrrrrr may I have anoder butt pucking please?”

      1. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
        Pinay Lover Post author

        I would expect many boycotts if they ran business like that here in Canada. People don’t put up with that shit here. I just saw a boycott the other day for a puppy mill. That place has probably lost a lot of business since. The people protesting were right next to one of the busiest streets in that neighborhood so they gained a lot of attention.

        It’s no wonder Chinese dominate the Philippines for business. They are smart businessmen, and know the ins and outs of how to gain clients and respect clients. Sounds like in the Philippines, they just don’t give a fuck.

  3. Profile gravatar of Zurina Alvarez
    Zurina Alvarez

    I’m gonna say this: Filipinos are moochers –and this is coming from a Filipina woman. These people are poor so that’s why they keep asking for money and if you DON’T give them any money, you will be branded as selfish by the family. They think you’re rich. Sure, you might make enough money and you make more than them but they don’t know what it’s like. They don’t understand that life in a first world country isn’t as easy as it seems.

  4. Profile gravatar of Steve Declerck
    Steve Declerck

    Your story is exactly, and I mean literally exactly like my story. My wifes mission was also to give her family a good life. The marriage was not about “us”, it was about “them”, from day number 1. And for sure it was never about me.

    About the jeepney you’re telling : correct. They don’t want the job, they only want the money that pays it. My wife sends all the money behind my back, but I guess it’s around 400-500 euro per month. I told it already a hundred times to her: just find them a job that pays the same amount as your sending, and they will just refuse it. They just want the cash, simple, without doing anything. When I look at my own wife, how lazy she is, I can only immagine how fucking lazy the rest of the clan must be.

    Me too, I was feeling sorry for them in the beginning, I showed understanding and was willing to help them. Until I started to notice their dark side : the freeloading, taking advantage, making up stories, calling whenever something went wrong, always money, money, money. I donated thousands of euros. But it was never enough. I was already scared every day that the phone might ring, or facebook message or e-mail, all the time with their shit problems. Finally I got tired of it and I simply dumped them. Each and every one of them. And I made it clear to my wife that I was done with them. Of course she told it to her family and now I’m the bad one of the whole story. But that’s fine, the stress of “what will go wrong this week” is gone. I can save for myself and my kids now. Fuck them. The downside of my decision was that it ruined our marriage, but so be it. It was never about me or us, it was always about them. There is only one way to fix our marriage: I have to call the whole clan every week and spend enough time on the phone with each one of them, asking all their needs and provide everything to them and be their slave. Beside that, I have to give my bankcard weekly to my lazy ass wife, so she can go shopping. By doing that, we will have the best marriage in town…. Huh, not in a million years.

    Exactly like your wife, mine is doing also the same : the silent treatment. Being distant, ignoring me, moody face all the time, no sex (anyway who likes still to have sex like that, not me), etc….In the beginning, it was driving me nuts, now I have peace with it. She’s behaving worse than a kid, just because of her stupid relatives, who were thinking they could run my life. What amazes me the most is this : they think they are so very right. It is right and honest for them to be a freeloader and a scammer. It is me who is the bad one for not giving in. And my wife is thinking the same. I only have 1 relative left and it’s my mother. When I dumped her relatives, of course she dumped my mother. She’s no longer welcome, even my wife was receiving birthday gift, newyear gift etc. My mother never asked her a single euro. That’s how grateful and hospitable those people really are.

    There is no way it will ever stop. WHen the current generation is gone, she will be the provider of the next genaration and that generation will fuck like rabbits the create another generation. By that time, I’m already long time dead 🙂

    It was so nice to vent again 🙂

    1. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
      Pinay Lover Post author

      Hey Steve,

      I’m glad I can share my pain! It’s funny how my wife’s parents could manage on their own all this time, but as soon as their daughters went abroad, they are suddenly broke and need hand outs.

      I have thankfully been able to break my wife’s spell numerous occasions and she sees light, but that always seems to vanish the more she talks to this parasite scumbags.

      After her Dad pulled that bullshit on me asking for money, I have simply ignored them since. My wife hates it but I told them “they haven’t earned my respect”. I told her they should send me some money next time I’m broke so its fair. I once walked right past her father who was on Skype. I needed to do grown up things like work and pay bills and not talk to useless parasites who take me for granted. He was furious when he saw me walk by without any acknowledgement, stepping out the door ignoring him like he was nothing. And seriously, I felt those hard feelings at the time. I considered him nothing. Since them it seems he’s pushed on my wife to break it off. They want that so bad because while she is with me, they only get 100$ Canadian a month. Which is enough for food and bills. Without me and she would be in debt up to her eyeballs serving them like a debt slave.

      I have found a new trick to kill the tampo (or tampon Is what I like to call it lol). Whenever there is something to do with her shit pimp parents, I talk to her sister about it, because her sister doesn’t have mortgage, kid, and other expenses to worry about. That destroys much of the conflict between me and my wife.

      For instance. My manipulator wife threatened me that she was going to get in debt again and go the the Failippines. A big arguement Ensued at which point I stopped and later that day talked to her sister. There seems to be no compromise with pinoy wives hey? Wtf? Anyways. I was able to cut out costs down to basically nothing compared. But here’s the catch. I have to welcome her mother in the house for 3 months. The way i see it is that’s it’s better than her going there with my son and holding him ransom or god knows what else could happen.

      Another way to kill the tampo is picking her up off the couch and throwing in the bed. Lol. This usually progresses to some happy times. But I only do this once in a while when I’m in the mood. Personally, since I am struggling with health issues, I like it very much having the bed to myself. Sleep is so precious to me.

      So far all her parent have taken from me is $500 which was vacation pulled from my account. This action was done because my money moron wife was going to get us back in debt.

      Don’t you hate it when they want to do everything divided but still have a relationship? I keep telling my wife that we must work as a team and sometimes she agrees, but this rechid parasites change that so fast.

      It’s a drag i tell ya. I’m really looking forward to living with her mother 3 months. Sigh…….

  5. Profile gravatar of Zurina Alvarez
    Zurina Alvarez

    I’m beginning to realize that Filipinos have no boundaries. Or rather, they don’t know how to set up their boundaries and Filipino families (mother, father, sister, brother, aunt, uncle) doesn’t know when to stop violating/crossing their provider’s boundaries. I’m sorry I went out of topic but it’s true. They don’t know when to back off and wala silang hiya. (They have no shame.)

    Ang kakapal ng mukha nila para manghingi ng pera sayo. (They have the nerve to ask you for money.) That’s embarrassing. These people think you owe them something and that you should “share” your money. Again, as I said before, you’ll be branded as selfish or madamot.

    1. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
      Pinay Lover Post author

      I don’t understand the shamelessness of it all. They scream “pinoy pride” but they continue to do shameful disrespectful acts. It’s just one big scam. The whole fucking culture. It should be called Pinoy scam culture because that is all i see from her pimps. All I see them as is scammers. I don’t give a fuck how desperate they are if they are trying get more than they deserve. Pinoy children are pimped so well it saddens me.

      1. Profile gravatar of Zurina Alvarez
        Zurina Alvarez

        I’m not at mad that you point out the flaws (not even) in my culture because what you said is true. I’m not offended at all.
        Filipino parents live through their children and expect their kids to take care of them and provide for them. They took care of their children from childhood all the way to adulthood.
        Your wife probably thinks she owes her parents. Filipino children are unhappy because their parents run their lifes, even past age 18. In America, once you’ve reached the age of consent, you’re free to do what you want. In the Philippines, people in their 30s still live with their parents. Is your wife unhappy? I’m assuming she is with all of the stress she’s dealing with her parents.

        1. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
          Pinay Lover Post author

          She really wants to see them, so that’s the big stress issue. They pressure her all the time for this and that. “just come on over to the Philippines”, without having any idea how much it costs. She will see Mom soon, so that is improving her mood a lot. She will be living with us for 3 months. This was a huge sacrifice for me since we don’t do that kind of thing here in the 1st world. You have parents stay for maybe 2 weeks TOPS, but 3 months? It’s going to be hell, but it was a better option than having to pay 6000$ to go there!

        2. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
          Pinay Lover Post author

          On another note, I totally respect that they support parents, but the fact they are ungrateful and scammers ruins that generousity and ruins the “culture”. They get food and bills paid for by us, that’s it. The rest is their own responsibility, but it’s never good enough. Too much of this going on where OFW’s and Natives are getting conned by their parents. Subtle exploiting.

  6. Profile gravatar of kalbo

    I Just read your post Mr PL and it seems that you stuck to your guns with that family.

    My heart sunk when I read the part about the Jeepney but thank God you decided against it. Seems that most of your decisions were the right ones even though you were under massive pressure not to do so. At least her family will get the message.

    Please, if anyone is thinking of buying a Jeepney or taxi or helping their wife’s family to set up any kind of business, PLEASE DON’T!

    A Kano told me a story similar to your Jeepney side story.

    This Kano married a Pinay and took her to the US. They visited her family home every few years in the province. Each time they went, the Kano noticed his wife’s brother sitting around the house all the time so he asked her why that was. The reply was that he couldnt get a job.

    So, the Kano had a brainwave! He decided to buy the brother a new trike so he can make a living. This would mean the brother could support his own family and maybe the Kano wouldnt need to send as much money over to them anymore. They would be self-sufficient!

    Two years later, the Kano and wife visited the family in the province. He was upset to see the brother was sitting around the house all day.

    “Why isn’t he out earning money with his trike?” asked the Kano.

    “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh he can’t” said the family members.

    “Why?” asked Kano.

    “He sold the engine”.

    1. Profile gravatar of Spartacus_killingus

      If you are from a developed western nation be it the US, Canada or any European nation, the best thing you can do is to completely muffle your innovative and industrious brain farts!
      The filipino will have no way of utilizing them productively, it will always go belly up without fail.

      If they would spend half the effort asking us for tips on how to be successful in life and methods on improving quality of life in general instead of just asking for money the place may be different. That whole Pinoy pride thing gets in the way though. Too proud to ask for assistance in common life issues, but not too proud to cut your fucking throat and bleed you dry for everything you have.

      “Come on, die already, I have Catholic Mass in an hour!”

    2. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
      Pinay Lover Post author

      I’m actually glad the Father decided to be a useless twat and make excuses, because if he hadn’t, I might have saved up all that money (I didn’t have) to buy him a Jeepney. Thank God I didn’t do that because he probably would have done the exact same thing, sold the engine. They only got $500 out of me so far and they will NEVER get money from me again. My wife was threatening AGAIN (like she always does) to pay for the building of a new house because “we are getting kicked out of our house! we need to build!” so I stopped her and sent them some of my vacation money. What they did with that money, I have no fucking clue, but they are still in the same house that they claimed they were getting kicked out of. Fool me once, you won’t fool me again. So 2 times they disappointed me and DISRESPECTED ME and my wife and lied. A typhoon is much needed!

  7. Profile gravatar of Spartacus_killingus

    “That day was the day i realized most off shore filipinos are after just one thing. To obey and accept all wishes of the parents and get them to a 1st world and stop at nothing to get them here.

    “STOP AT NOTHING”………..

    Perhaps the 3 most important words anyone can take away from not just your story, but everyone who has one in general.
    The filipino, what can be said about them?
    I am talking about the offshore “home land” version of them. That they, for the most part from those I have met are ruthless, cut throat pirates after only one thing.

    What is this thing?
    Money, power, a better quality of life?
    Perhaps all of the above, and while I can certainly not blame them for wanting a better quality of life, I give them zero respect for how they go about attempting to achieve it.

    At any cost they must get what they want. I have long since come to the conclusion that the majority of the Philippines has to have a mental illness. This doesn’t make them special, the US also has its own form of mental illness like most nations. But in the Philippines it has taken on a whole new level of anything goes.
    I guess the thing that truly sickens me the most is that many if not all of the class I’m talking about honestly believe themselves to be clever in their methods, that they are sly and cunning. This could not be farther from the truth.

    PL, I also hope that one day your wife snaps out of the manipulation, and she very well may it is not impossible. But the problem with the Filipino is that for everyone that falls 2 more pop up to take its place. (HYDRA). Someone will always be there to feel the vacuum left by the other and it will now be their chance to attempt to get that life they so desperately need.

    In my case it was my Ex wifes 5 brothers, cousins, and whatever else came down the shoot. Then I was reminded non stop how much of a fucking failure I was for not being able to help them to their level of satisfaction. Simply put, it was and is abuse, mental, and emotional, and depending on the situation physical as well.
    Of course then when her parents were in the states I got to take care of them, feed them, drive them around, and let them have two 750 dollar apartments rent free for 2 years, while they sent money and balikbayan boxes back to the Phils, and filed my apartments with whatever trash they found left by the dumpster.

    I feel you 110% buddy, I really do!
    Oh man, Don’t we have a story to tell? LOL
    We poor bastards and victims of the Philippine experience…..

    1. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
      Pinay Lover Post author

      And these parents of hers demand respect? It’s disgusting and shameful. My wife will always take these dirty rats side no matter what, all I can do now is play their game but in my favor until my boy is old enough and safe. That’s all I care about now, is keeping my boy safe from them, because as you mentioned, they would take him in an instant for blackmail.

      The amount of stress and depression they cause me is probably part of the reason I have this disease, but what can I do though? I have my boy now which is tied to their blood line and there is no escape! I was joking with a co-worker the other day because the average life span for a native is about 65 for a native (from what I remember). Anyways, I’m doing whatever I can to prevent sponsership and even if they do get approved by my wife and her sister, it takes 6 years of processing! So by that time the Dad will be in his 60’s and probably near death. My co-worker assured me that “he’ll probably drop dead by the time he gets there!” Lol.

      The only thing that scares me is this supervisa. They can get work, and stay here for 10 years! Shit!! But thankfully they have a little daughter that they have to take care of, so they are bound to stay there.

      Another thing that I find funny and obvious to me, is that they project their weaknesses onto you. Like if they are saying “he can’t take care of his kid, he’s not a suitable parent”, you know that’s just a projection of themselves. If they say “your a greedy selfish bastard” you know that it’s just a projection of themselves. They are the kings of projectors. My wife constantly contradicts her self, saying something about me that is wrong when it is just reflection of her own inadequicies.

      This kind of mentallity is enough to drive any mand insane since in their eyes, they always win and will sink to whatever low to make sure of that.

  8. Profile gravatar of kalbo

    I have a simple question to ask all you PFAIL inhabitants. The story behind it is that for the first time, I went to my ex-filipina’s parents house.

    The mom and dad sat down in front of me. We hadnt exchanged any talk at this point and I had no idea what to expect.

    The father starts firing questions and comments (read: orders):

    Errr, Im not religious actually.

    Me: Huhhh….ok.

    Me: Hmmm…errr……ok!

    We carry on and have a very icy dinner. Then the father gets up and walks off. I never saw him again. I later found out he just went off to sleep. No explanation or goodnight.

    Now, here’s my question and I want you fuckers to give me the truth straight!

    What does that trite platitude actually mean? WHEN YOU MARRY A FILIPINA YOU MARRY THE FAMILY!

    This statement, or command more like, confused me. I pondered many nights as to what this actually meant.

    Here are some ideas that I came up with.
    -The father is happy for me to bang his wife whenever I want. (We’re married after all!)
    -I’m able to ask all the siters and brother for a daily allowance / handout whenver I fancy? (We’re married after all!)
    -I can shag all the sisters then the mother joins in at the end. (We’re married after all!)
    -I get use of the family car whenever I like, burn all the fuel and dump it back for the family to clean up and refuel. (We’re married after all!)
    -I get to stay RENT FREE at their place while I drink red horse and beat his wife up all day (Remember: We’re all married!!)

    Over to you guys……

    1. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
      Pinay Lover Post author

      Perfect example of playing their own shit games against them. I told them to send me money next time I’m broke and I’m sure that didn’t go over well but I have nothing to fear. They are at my mercy. I’m not at theirs. I have work and money and live in a 1st world and they don’t. So if they choose to dictate me and my family they can go fuck themselves because it’s over for their authority over their daughter. I know they probably boil with animosity towards me and I love every minute if it because they’ve made me suffer therefore and eye for an eye.

      They pull that marry the family shit because they simply want to deplete you and all your resources for their own gain.

  9. Profile gravatar of Spartacus_killingus

    When you hear the words…..”WHEN YOU MARRY A FILIPINA YOU MARRY THE FAMILY!”….You are henceforth fucked.

    It is the way of letting you know that your money is their money, and all power and authority are to be given over to the mother and father. You shall henceforth heed without question all things requested of you by the powers that be (the parents).
    You are to be made an adopted son, where you will forever be a second class citizen in the family slightly above the house help.
    Whatever money you make, goes to the family, whatever benefits you get, be it a house, car, food, clothes, whatever it may be shall be shared between the family, and no one needs to ask your permission.

    You are now open to be victim of theft, mental and physical abuse, and monetary abuse all the days of your life.
    But wait there is more!!!

    IF, the parents are to die, have no fear, you are still a member of the family and now you get to support even more people who were too afraid to move in while the parents were alive.

    You get to enjoy all of the following:
    conspiracies to harm each other
    revenge (Not yours, but theirs on YOU!!) no reason given
    loss of property
    Loss of money
    Loss of health
    Loss of happiness
    Loss of potential children
    Loss of sanity
    and SO MUCH MORE!!!!

    You better so as you are told, stop thinking for yourself, thats dangerous, afterall you are not smart enough to do it on your own, you are not the “elder” you better cater to every beckon call and be johnny on the fucking spot about it or else you may find yourself on the wrong side of the fence.

    whatever you do don’t stand up for yourself because after all, They “know” people, probably the NBI, PNP, barangay, CIA, NSA, Vladamir putin, and who knows who else. They can have you arrested and sent to prison.

    No Im not joking, That is a common thing, that you can not win. I mean unless you are prepared to pay a judge large sums and a lawyer as well. Because “Filipino First” is the motto.

    You should keep paying your protection money, or maybe something bad will happen eh? You know like maybe you get arrested for raping a child hmm? Perhaps you molested some children, Or maybe something gets burned down and you take the fall for it?

    *wink , Wink, I think you know where Im coming from here, go on pay the money, be a good boy… *

    At the end marrying the family means all power and authority goes to them and all power and any authority is taken from you 110%.
    It is signing into slavery.
    If only I could do it all over again with what I know now, the shit I would say.

  10. Profile gravatar of DubaiGuy

    oh man…. I’m glad I found this site…. been dating this OFW in Dubai for 6 months now and there are SO many parallels to your story. What gets me the most is the tampo and childish manipulative behaviour. You are right, you can NOT have an adult conversation with them, they are never wrong. I have called her out on it so many times and she has managed to tone it down significantly, but she can’t stop it. Every now and then she shows her true colors…. often talks about how she wants to move to Canada or U.S. sometimes, but stories like these (which there seem to be no shortage of online) kind of terrify me. She also has a cultish relationaship with her mother and her and her siblings have been supporting for as long as they were able to work. So she hasn’t worked in like 30-40 yrs by my estimate! She has mentioned that she’ll always support her mother no matter what…. can’t help of what kind of scenario would go down if we end up getting married and having kids….. yeah, no thanks. Seeing so many red flags with this one….. time to cut it loose.

    1. Profile gravatar of CantFixStupid

      If you already see the numerous red flags, why torture yourself? It won’t get any better. Especially with OFW slaves. All they do is send money back home to the huge clan of leeches.

    2. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
      Pinay Lover Post author

      There are possibilities of controlling this situation and having the ultimate say. It takes a shitload of work, but it is possible with some. If I were you, I’d just have fun with her and leave her. Just don’t have kid’s because she will pick money, and her parents over your kid in second. They care more about giving leeches money, then anything else. She will most likely be convinced by her pimps that they should give up the kid to them and your GF will have to work lots to support the family and the child. They pull this trick all the time, holding your child ransom for money.

      I’m so glad that this post could prevent a Filipina from ruining your life and I hope it can help others out!

  11. Profile gravatar of JackTheBlack

    Guys, you need to understand that the girls will play you and if you play with their rules you will lose, you lose big time! The only way to survive is to set your own rules and stick to them no matter what. Never ever break them not even if the girl comes crying how ill her mother is. Her family is not on your responsibility and the 2343 relatives should be able to take care of themselves.

    When I start dating Filipina I don’t give any presents, no money, nothing for many months. If I take the girl to eat I take her to places where meal is around 100 peso, and treat php30 coffee in Mc Do. If she starts asking something I dump her right away. If she shows any bad signs I dump her. Filipinas are like cancer, it’s better to cut them off right away if you notice the sickness. If you wait too long, you might lose lots of money and your live.

    If I’m in relationship with Filipina I don’t give any money if it’s asked for her family. I simply say that I only take care of my own family. If girl asks money for herself I make her to work for it, clean the house, run errands, etc. so the small amount she asks is salary. I use minimum wage as reference, so we’re talking about few hundred pesos.

    For my last common law wife I paid php5000 per month for running the house. That was all in and she paid her tuition fee from it. If she asked more I didn’t give, so she probably borrowed from her cousins if she really needed the money. (she almost never asked since she knew that I wont give anything). I even banned her family from visiting our unit after I found out that her brother had used it as hotel and buffet while I was on trip.

    This might sound cruel and at times I had difficulties to say no, but it was correct decision EVERY time. Also with these rules I had clean house, fridge and freezer full of food, and never lost any money. And the best, I never got abused (maintained my dignity and money) and the girl/girls never ever complained. Btw. to this day my ex (who’s stunner) still wants me back.

    I’d say that Filipinas are like dogs, you will love them and treat them nicely but they never ever should be the leader of the pack (family). You need to show them their place (like you show to your dog) since otherwise everyone, she included, will suffer. 🙂

    1. Profile gravatar of Pinay Lover
      Pinay Lover Post author

      I totally agree with your stance on being the front man of the house. For the most part, that is how it is in my situation. I’ve told my wife many times, “your parents are not my responsibility, do not get me involved”. I’ve told her many times this, and she is usually compliant, but as soon as those parasites come into the mix, shit like this arises again. I’ve been pretty straight with her about it recently and I blew a pretty big fuse, so now she’s scared shittless to ever ask me a question concerning her pimps again.

      I’ve cut her parents off pretty much completely, I don’t pay them anything (it’s 100$ out of my wife’s pocket). I told her they will never live with us and she agreed. I’ve had my guard up pretty much the whole way through here, but when you have a kid in the mix, that is when it gets complicated. Everyone wants a piece of the kid. That’s where it has gotten messy and that is where her parasites pimps, can gain access to her and manipulate her more easily. But ya, it would have been much easier if I had just the bitch (female dog) and not the puppy (kid), to better get a handle of things here.

  12. Profile gravatar of DubaiGuy

    Thanks for the responses guys. I have taken a pretty tough stance on a lot of things on our relationship, for example I put my foot down on that tampo shit pretty early on; that has since disappearred, but the childish behaviour is still there occasionally, not sure if that can go away….. I’m not really paying for much except the odd meal here and there. She’s never asked me for money, but it’s the long term prospect of what could happen down the road that concerns me. If we did end up getting married (unlikely); I wouldn’t even be totally opposed to helpng out her mom (her dad passed) as long as it’s within reason; helping out with $100 or so a month in my mind probably isnt even worth an arguement….. It’s just all the stories of siblings sticking their hands out and immigration requests and so on….. I have no intention of moving back to Canada anytime soon so that would prob put that to rest. Also her mother is 73 yrs old so can’t imagine there’s too many payments left to make, the clock is ticking. I nearly broke it off with her last week, but decided to stick it out a while longer. Reason being is her mother is coming to Dubai for a visit so I am curious to meet her and see how my interactions with her go. If I hear something like “If you marry a Filipina; you marry the family” then that will prob be the nail in the coffin 😉

  13. Profile gravatar of DubaiGuy

    anothing thing I should add is that her family is from Manila and from what I gather, live a fairly middle class life there. My GF and her sister being OFW I’m sure is a contributing factor, but the siblings that stayed are well educated with established careers … so I am thinking (hoping) that the leeching wouldn’t be so severe compared to say a family in a rural area……. wishful thinking?

  14. Profile gravatar of cpub

    Hi everyone! Felt the hate in this thread. I am a filipina and wife of an american at some point i was hurt for almost all of you hate your filipina partners and in some parts im just nodding my head, agreeing to what almost all of you were saying not because i am that way but because i share the same sentiments like you guys, this is exactly one of the many reasons why i dont want to be friends with filipinas around here (specially if i find out that they just met their husbands online), i dont want to be too judgmental cause for sure 1 out of 10 online relationships are true but can’t hide the fact that most of them just thinks about the money and that they think that they’re in an unreachable status just because they were able to go abroad. They felt like superiors. A friendly advice, try not to find filipinas online for there’s a big possibility that the main reason why they are searching a foreigner husband is to use you guys for their american dream or just to go to a different country makes them think that that’s the only way out of poverty. Another thing, not everyone is like your filipina partners, don’t close your heart and your mind just because you are dealing with a witch right now there’s a lot out there. pick the educated ones and try to observe if that bitch only wants money.

    1. Profile gravatar of Hey Joe
      Hey Joe

      I understand you’re point. It is true “they are not all the same” But with the high % that are, the cards are stacked against you.
      I feel you’re advice is sound. It is SOoooooo hard sometimes to see through the BS and lies until it’s to late. It may take years for her true face to come out, as many of us here know all to well.
      I count myself as one of the lucky 1%. My wife and I have been married for over 20yrs with only normal disagreements between us.
      My wife even backed me up when her family stole from us, we told them (her family) together to never come near us ever again or else!
      She says all the time that she is ashamed to be panay at times because of the way(her) people are..she sees it, she knows the truth.

      I know full well i am very-very lucky to have her. She is 1 in a million.

    2. Profile gravatar of BLX2

      1 in 10 is way too high. It just really is. I also thought looking for the money issue was the key. Easy to spot and easier to let go of. But it’s not. An ambition to do things for themselves may be a better indicator. The ability to recognize a mistake as simply a mistake and learn from it, not blame it on others. Any signs of a double standard, don’t take it as they’re naïve or don’t understand and will learn, it comes from lack of empathy, it’s there because they really don’t see you as a person, you are an object to their end. You can try to explain something to them until you’re blue in the face, give examples of the shoe on the other foot, they still REALLY can’t see it.

      Even if they don’t ask for money they can be primadonnas, too good to do things. Yeah, they might cook and do laundry, but put them in a nice home and try to teach them maintenance cleaning and they accuse you of treating them like a housekeeper and refuse to do it, they refuse to learn how to do it. Just because you pay them (actually throwing the fact you give them an allowance in your face) you have no right to expect them to do more then the superficial. They either grew up in a hut with nothing to take care of in the first place, or even those with a little extra money (and considered poor in the West) hire maids and nannies. If they’re poor, nothing to take care of, have money, taking care of things is beneath them. And how dare you expect anything more from them. You’re left with three choices, let things go to ruin from neglect or incompetence, hire a housekeeper (of course a lot of them are useless, still need to be trained to do things right and can also be a lot of trouble), or do it yourself. Much quicker and less stressful to do it yourself, and it gets done right. So you support them, even give them an allowance and then park their ass. If they do work they ignore bills, the house (the superficial even disappears) and the CHILDREN!! They will exaggerate how much they did/do for you and dismiss what you share with them.

      Even if they are not money, money, money, they don’t seem materialistic, there’s still a superficial image they’re driven to portray. The up in living standard does not coincide with an up in responsibility on their part. If they’re poor, there was nothing to be responsible for, if they had some then others bear the responsibility. They’re too good to take responsibility, and being with a foreigner proves it, so the foreigner is no good if they fail in meeting the expectations of these primadonnas.

      1 in 10 is way too much. I’ll scrub the bathroom you’re too good to do, I learned to do what I don’t want to do when I was a child. Looking at the results of my effort does make me happy even if the work itself sucked. That’s the attitude that helped me earn the money to support you with in the first place. That’s the attitude to make you a productive member and build a functional family in the first world. Filipinas make great wives, lol. They have the attributes of the very worse the West has to offer (and we already have enough of those), the rest is an illusion until they get what they want from you.

      1. Profile gravatar of Sarah

        “Even if they don’t ask for money they can be primadonnas, too good to do things”.

        I wonder if these Primadonnas ever think that they’d grow old and fat one day, a lot of the times, by the time they hit the age of 30 onwards, it’s downhill from the looks department.

        I was on days off yesterday, so went out to meet up with friends for lunch. I spied a Pinay that my Mum used to socialized with years ago. The Pinay would only have been in her mid-20s, 5- 10 years ago. But when I saw her, golly! I could not believe it was her. So dowdy, fat and just not taking pride in her appearance. If she’s mid-30s now, I swear she looked 10 years older. So yeah guys, choose carefully. If she is primadonna, let her be, but let her know also that you expect her looks to stay like a Primadonna 🙂

  15. Profile gravatar of

    I just read this and understand as my wife can be the same ……it’s never her fault & you will never get a Sorry from her
    The silent treatment is good as I love it when she’s quiet …….Why when they talk to there filipina friends they have to shout usually when football is on
    They are no different than any other woman when it comes to shit attitude
    I buy my wifes family a new house as they lived in a shack …..they never ask I just did it to be helpful even this year we buy Papa a new side car for his taxi work as his was over 25yrs old and was falling apart
    We pay for her sister to go college 4yrs plus brother college 3 yrs which they are doing now
    I am in dept because I help them out
    So I ask my wife to buy my English mother a £50 gift voucher for a clothing store for Xmas
    She moaning it’s to much money to spend on her
    If it wasn’t for my mother my wife would not be in this country
    Now I give her the silent treatment and man she don’t like it hahaha it’s nice to treat them how they try to treat us
    My wife’s friends are mostly ex bar girls married to English men ……they all talk a load of shit but they put food on the table for there husbands when they get home from work ….my wife was a non bar girl sweet as a flower when I met her
    Now she is like poison always complaining, bloody lazy …..I work all week come home for lunch & no food on the table ….come home from work at end of day and still no food on table
    We have a young son so I put up with her shit for so much because I don’t want to upset him
    Most of the time I wished I’d never met her but we have a wonderful beautiful son
    I take her to work b4 I go to work as she works part time …..but no respect for dropping her off
    I’m her bloody alarm clock as she can’t get up in the morning ……When you say about them sleeping down stairs hahaha yeah I agree with you its nice to have the bed all to myself 🙂 plus she snoars so bad that I must sleep b4 her or I’m up half term night …
    I’m going home from work in 45 minutes on a Friday night & I will get home say hi to my son get changed then walk to the local bar for some drinks while she sits there soaking like a baby
    & do you know what I don’t give a shit as I will come home after happy then go to sleep
    Her family won’t get NO money from me this Xmas ….they can’t even send my son a Xmas card or birthday card in 4 yrs of his life even we send the £300-£400 a month sometimes
    Bloody greed
    Now when there is a typhoon I sometimes hope it rips the house to bits because they won’t get another one but I got the house built out of concrete so it’s blood strong
    I just wish they would appreciate what I do for them and my lazy shit wife
    My wife was a church going person in the philippines but here I have to drag her to church
    All she wants to do is Face book shit and face chat with her friends …..even my son gets ignored now cause her friends are more important …….. Lord open her eyes to what’s going on please Amen

  16. Profile gravatar of Matt

    So much of that I can relate to especially getting the bed to myself which is ironic because I didn’t like that before I was married. I have to say that my wife’s family isn’t as your described at least if they are she doesn’t let me hear about it.

  17. Profile gravatar of Anne

    Hey..Sorry but i beg to disagree of this post..not all Filipina are like that..Yah maybe some they do that but we can not judge Filipinas just because u had one..
    I am a single mom but i never used a guy to have all my needs even the father..some foriegners offered me money and marriage but i refused..i think it’s not right for u all to conclude that Filipinas are like that..some of them they left with no choice..God bless u all..Hope u will all realize what u are saying..

      1. Profile gravatar of snakebitbytheflips

        Well, considering that 99.99% of them are all the same, that leaves .01%. So she is right, not all are the same.

        But you have a better chance winning the $350 Million Powerball Lottery than you will have in getting a flip wife (or girlfriend) who is humble, loving, caring, non-manipulative, and not interested in your money.

        Good luck. You will need it.

    1. Profile gravatar of Raiders16


      I don’t need to meet every single pinay to know that 90% are scammers, gold diggers and liars. All one has to do is open their eyes to see it everyday around them. “God bless us all” great I really hate it when Filipinos bring god into everything but thanks, much appreciated.

      Filipino gets caught stealing ” God bless you all, poor me”