Most of my partner’s family and extended family are pretty decent folks when I’m around them. But there is one extended family member who’s tactlessness, selfishness, and pure idiocy fall well within the common Filipino cultural rudeness and tactlessness that you can expect from the average Filipino. I normally decline invites to my partner’s family functions and gatherings (for obvious reasons) with the excuse that I have too much work and deadlines to meet.
But it had been literally a couple years since I actually accompanied my partner to a family gathering, so I figured I’ll go ahead and make an appearance at an anniversary party the other night. That should do good for another couple years that I won’t have to deal with them.
So all is going well, food was catered well, went through all the faux smiling and pretending to be happy to see them again, etc. Now the evening is winding down, and I’m getting tired, wanna go home.
Now before I continue with the next part of the story, let me go back a couple years to the last time I had the displeasure of this in-law (we’ll call him Ding Dong). My partner and I spent an entire day helping him move out of his apartment, and into a new one, in the middle of the hot season. We finished the move, and he offered to give us a ride home (oh how good of him. We just spent all fucking day moving him, yeah, that’s the least he could do!).
But suddenly, about less than 10 minutes away from our house, he says, “I’ll just drop you here, because I have to pick up my wife. Is that ok?” I kept silent, because if I was to speak, it wouldn’t have been anything remotely nice, nor at a normal volume level. I let my partner answer him. And of course, my partner said, “ok, we’ll just grab a taxi the rest of the way home.” Then Ding Dong looks at me, and there is no way he could have missed the obviously pissed off disgusted look on my face, “Thanks so much FiloFail for helping me move!” as I pretended not to hear him, slamming his car door before he could finish his thank you, and I started walking in the other direction quite briskly.
We spent an entire day helping him move, and he couldn’t take us the further 7 or 8 more minutes home, THEN go back and pick up his wife. Too inconvenient for him I guess.
Now let’s go back to the anniversary party the other night. Ding Dong initially behaved quite timidly and “scared” of me because of the silent but deadly way I ended our last visit when we helped him move. But hey, I’m not one to hold a grudge for very long, much less 2 years. So I behaved and treated him as if that despicable rudeness he committed 2 years ago never happened. All smiles, hugs, handshakes, conversation, etc..through the evening.
Then he offers to give us a ride home. So what am I thinking? Oh, he’s going to make up for the wrong he did last time. How noble of him. And I’m ready to get going. “Just let me finish up something I need to talk to my cousin about and we’ll go, about 5 minutes.”
“Sure, take your time Ding Dong.”
Well he sure did take me up on that expression literally. 40 minutes later, I’m telling my partner to go tell Ding Dong that we’ll just grab a taxi home, no problem. “Oh I’m sorry, let me just use the CR and we’ll go.”
We finally get on our way. He puts on Justin Beiber video on his DVD dashboard player and turns up the volume. Off we go, heading home. We get to the same place he dumped us two years ago, and I’m thinking, “Nah, he’s not going to be a tactless dumb fuck again…lightning never strikes twice….”
The tactless piece of shit pulls over. “I need to pick up my wife, is it ok I drop you here?”
This time I DID speak. “You know what Ding Dong? You should start a taxi company and name it “Halfway Home Taxi Service” and give it the tag line, “we get you to within 10 minutes of your destination and dump you like an unwanted dog.” You have no tact at all Ding Dong. If taking us all the way home is such a fucking inconvenience for you, I understand, JUST DON’T OFFER TO TAKE US HOME THEN MORON! Next time, we’ll just take a fucking taxi. I can afford it, and at least it will be a non-stop, no-transfer ride for fuck sake!” And I slam his door again and walk off briskly.